By Colin McGuire, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@McGMondays)
AEW Rampage “Grand Slam” (Episode 59)
Taped September 21, 2022 in Queens, New York at Arthur Ashe Stadium
Aired September 23, 2022 on TNT
The opening video aired and Jim Ross said hello to everyone and introduced the commentary team of him, Chris Jericho, Excalibur and Tony Schiavone. Or, wait. Excalibur introduced everyone. Either way, the House Of Black’s music hit, but Sting and Darby were behind them and we started the opening match.
1. Sting and Darby Allin vs. Brody King and Buddy Matthews (w/Julia Hart) in a No DQ match. Darby and King fought in the ring and King chopped Allin over the ropes and to the floor. King rolled Sting back into the ring and King stomped on Sting. With everyone in the ring, Sting fought off both Buddy and Brody. King accidentally clotheslined Matthews when Sting moved, but King lifted Sting onto the top rope. Darby came back in and landed an Avalanche Code Red on King for a two-count.
Darby ran the ropes, but Buddy cut him off and then went for Sting. Sting worked over Buddy with punches to the head. Sting went to the top, but King hit Sting and Sting went through a table. King and Matthews rolled Sting into the ring and Julia handcuffed Sting. After String was handcuffed we went to our first PIP, which was kind of baffling [c].
Back form break, Matthews and King were working over Allin at the top of the ramp. The heels went for Dante’s Inferno, but Darby fought out of it and climbed to the top of the staging on the ramp. Darby hit a Coffin Drop from the top of the rigging onto Buddy. King came back and grabbed Darby, and ultimately. King tried to choke Darby out again. Eventually, the two fell off the stage onto a bunch of tables.
Mathews grabbed a bat and walked to the ring, where Sting was handcuffed. Buddy placed Sting on a chair. Matthews lifted a bat to hit Sting but the lights went out and Keiji Muto (The Great Muta) came out. Muto walked toward Sting and teased attacking him but instead landed. Dragon-Screw Leg Whip on Mathews and hit the mist onto Matthews. Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop onto Matthews after Julia kinda went through a table and that was it.
Sting and Darby Allin defeated Brody King and Buddy Matthews via pinfall in 13:00.
McGuire’s Musings: I’ve been lucky enough to cover this show for more than a year for this website and there’s nothing cooler – and I mean nothing cooler – than seeing The Great Muta coming out to save Sting. That’s wrestling, friends. That’s wrestling. According to social media, Darby is all types of messed up with his head and that cut, but man, you can’t find me a better story than that for us old heads. Outside of that, Julia took a hell of a bump because she almost completely missed the table, so I hope all is well there, But if I’m being honest, I have nothing to say other than, “Holy Hell, that rocked my ass off because Sting and Muta give me all of the feelings.” Thank you and goodnight.
2. Action Bronson and Hook vs. Matt Menard and Angelo Parker. Hook and Angelo started and Hook got the best of it, but then Daddy Magic and Action Bronson tagged in. Bronson ran both guys down with shoulder-blocks. Hook then tagged back in and landed a Northern Lights Suplex on Menard. Still, the heels took over and worked Hook, complete with a dropkick from Parker onto Hook. Parker and Menard worked over Hook with some tag-team moves.
Bronson got the tag and slammed Parker, but Menard came back with a punch. Bronson took out both opponents before tagging in Hook, who hit a Fisherman’s Suplex. Both Bronson and Hook sank in Red Rum on both Parker and Menard and that was it.
Hook and Action Bronson defeated Matt Menard and Angelo Parker via submission in 5:07.
McGuire’s Musings: This was exactly what it should have been. And anyone who wants to talk shit on Action Bronson for having to regain his footing while rapping his way to the ring … this is why I ask how Boogs does what he does for Nakamura. It’s hard. Check my Twitter to see how I messed up the exact same thing up on this same night before I covered this. All love to Bronson. That said, he was rough in the ring and her certainly isn’t the best celebrity-come-wrestler over the last year or so. But read that New York post article about Hook and Bronson and tell me you hated it. If you did, you’re missing the point.
Back from the break, Mark Mark was in the ring, and he called out Wardlow. Wardlow’s music hit and here we go.
3. Samoa Joe and Wardlow vs. Josh Woods and Tony Nese (w/Mark Sterling). Wardlow cleared house to begin things. Wardlow went over the top rope and Wardlow clutched his leg and I think that’s where he got hurt. Nese went for a moonsault, but Joe walked away. Joe landed a Sidewalk Slam on Nese and that went into a Muscle Buster for the win.
Samoa Joe and Wardlow defeated Josh Woods and Tony Nese via pinfall in 2:20.
After the match, Wardlow went for a powerbomb, but Sterling broke it up. As a result Wardlow powerbombed Sterling multiple times.
After the match, we got a video package on Jungle Boy and Fenix. From there, it was straight to Jungle Boy’s theme music.
McGuire’s Musings: You could see the spot that (reportedly) hurt Wardlow, though that guy came back like a champ to powerbomb some people, if not everyone involved. The (reported) injury made me think they went home early, but … maybe not? Either way Joe looked dominant, which was exactly what had to happen because he’s been away for so long and there might be some people still wondering why he’s important. This established Joe as a force, if nothing else, and there’s a lot of value in that.
4. Jungle Boy vs. Rey Fenix (w/Alex Abrahantes). Jungle Boy came at Fenix to start, but it ended up Fenix walked the ropes a bit to take back control. The two traded forearms. Fenix landed a sliding dropkick to take Jungle Boy to the outside. That brought us to our next PIP [c].
Back from break, the two traded a bunch of moves, which concluded with Fenix hitting a slam. The two traded elbows and Fenix tried for an underhook slam, but Jungle Boy countered into a rollup for a two-count. The two fought on the apron, and Jungle Boy hit an elbow to take Fenix down. Fenix went to leap at Jungle Boy and Jungle Boy super-kicked Fenix in the face. After that, we got another commercial break [c].
Jungle Boy went to the top, but Fenix cut him off. From there, Fenix hot a frog-splash for a two-count. The two went back to the top rope and Fenix lifted Jungle Boy, but Jungle Boy rolled Fenix through for the win.
Jungle Boy defeated Rey Fenix via pinfall in 17:48.
After the match, Christian Cage’s music hit and Cage had a microphone. Luchasaurus’s music hit and and he went for the attack on Jungle Boy. Luchasaurus got it and Cage told New York was loud and obnoxious. Christian called Jungle Boy was a coward. Christian said Jungle Boy would never out-smart him. Christian called out Jungle Boy’s mom and sister. Christian told Luchasaurus to “end his ass.” Luchasaurus hit a choke-slam.
From there, we went to a backstage celebration for Chris Jericho winning the ROH World Title. Jericho said the celebration will happen in Philadelphia next week at Dynamite. We went back to the arena and Eddie Kingston’s music hit.
5. Eddie Kingston vs. Sammy Guevara (w/Tay Melo). Before the match, Sammy got a microphone and said he was sorry. Sammy said he was sorry for calling him a fat piece of sh*t, which called back to all the backstage problems the two have had. Kingston landed some chops and headbutts. Sammy fought back, but Eddie hit an eye-poke to take control. Guevara came right back with a back-body drop that was nasty and I think Eddie might have hit his head on the apron. With Sammy in control, we went to break. [c].
Back from break, Sammy went for a Shooting Star, but Eddie moved. It didn’t quite matter because Sammy landed a knee strike and a cutter for a good near-fall. Sammy went to lift Kingston, but Kingston came back with a hell of a lariat. Kingston landed the machine gun chops. Sammy went for a springboard cutter, but Kingston caught him (clunky), and hit a belly-to-back for a two-count. From there, Sammy lifted Kingston, but Kingston worked his way out for a half-and-half. Eddie hit his first spinning back-fist. Eddie hit a second one. Eddie hit a third one. Eddie sank in the Spark Plug for the win.
Eddie Kingston defeated Sammy Guevara via submission in in 7:58.
But wait. Kingston wouldn’t let go of the hold, so the referees reversed the decision. Sammy Guevara ended up being the official winner. Kingston beat up all the referees who ran to the ring.
6. Jade Cargill (w/Kiera Hogan, Leila Grey) vs. Diamante for the TBS Title. Diamante went at Cargill, but Cargill cut her off and hit an elbow. Diamante came back with a shotgun dropkick, but Cargill lifted Diamante and slammed her before hitting a pump kick. The action spilled outside and Diamante went for a splash but Cargill caught her and slammed Diamante on the apron. Cargill then landed Jaded for the win.
Jade Cargill defeated Diamante via pinfall in 2:34.
After the match, Trina attacked Diamante and then raised Cargill’s arm for the win.
McGuire’s Musings: The women’s match was fine and Trina ending up being on Team Jade was as predictable as a Tums after a dozen hot wings. That in mind, I’m at the point where I say I hope Jade codes’t lose for like 10 years or something dumb. She’s a star. She might be the biggest never-talked-about star on these shows. So give it to her. Don’t beat her until she’s 82 years old and she just doesn’t want to make her way down to the ring. Kingston vs. Sammy was OK enough, but the finish obviously leaves us in line for another match between the two. I could tell you I was happy with the finish but I’d be lying. Dating back decades, I’ve never liked an “authority figure” coming out after the fact, saying the winner wasn’t the winner. So, whatever.
7. The Grand Slam Golden Ticket Battle Royal. The entrants included Hangman Page, Butcher, Blade, Marq Quen, Isiah Kassidy, Evil Uno.,10, Jon Silver, Brian Cage, Rush, Penta El Zero Miedo, Dalton Castle, Matt Hardy, Danhausen, Jake Hager, Trent Beretta, Chuck Taylor, Lee Moriarty, W Morrissey, Ari Daivari, Lance Archer, Jay Lethal, Dante Martin, QT Marshall, Cole Karter, and Daniel Garcia.
As Hangman Page was making his way to the ring, Andrade and his boys attacked Page. Danhausen tried to curse a lot of people. QT was eliminated early, but Butcher eliminated Danhausen. Brian Cage eliminated Jake Hager and others. Dalton Castle was almost eliminated but The Boy caught him and Castle was back into the action. Castle eliminated Brian Cage. Lance Archer punched Trent out. Lee Moriarty was deleted by Matt Hardy (get it? Maybe?) and we went right back to PIP [c].
Back from break, Private Part was celebrating for no real good reason. Matt Hardy landed Twist Of Fate on The Blade and eliminated him. Rush and Butcher then threw up Hardy and Private Party. Butcher eliminated Evil Uno, but Page then eliminated Butcher. John Silver was posing and Rush went at it, but Rush eliminated Silver. Penta eliminated Lance Archer. Penta threw Lethal out, but Singh caught him and threw him back in. Page threw Lethal out and the final two were Rush and Hangman.
The two traded forearms and chops. The two went over the top, but hung on, on the apron. They traded chops on the apron. Page hit the Dead Eye on Rush and Rush rolled off the apron and that was it.
Hangman Page won the Golden Ticket Battle Royal in 13:20.
McGuire’s Musings: It didn’t even dawn on me that someone like Hangman could be in this battle royal. If the real life story is that Moxley was set to go on vacation and the company needed him to head in to save the day, I wouldn’t be even a little surprised to see Page take that title, so Moxley can get his vacation and they company can take a veiled shot at CM Punk (assuming the rumors that Punk is on his way out are true). But, hell. Even if that isn’t true and perhaps Punk and Page and the Elite came to some type of working agreement in the last few weeks … that’d be hella business. But I know I’m wrong. Either way, we didn’t see a lot of the battle royal, but Page being back in the mix says this could get very fun, very quick.
Back from break, we got the Mark Henry segment. Starks said Hobbs beating him was a Hobbs career moment. Starks didn’t say much else before we went to the ring and Justin Roberts announced that it was an unsanctioned lights out match.
8. Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Ricky Starks in a Lights Out match. The two brawled to begin the match and it quickly spilled outside. Starks ran Hobbs into he stairs. Back in the ring, Hobbs landed a neck-breaker and brought a table into the ring to just simply throw it onto Starks. As a result, Jericho said Hobbs is his Sports Entertainer Of The Week. From there, we got our final PIP [c].
Back from break, there was a lot of furniture in the ring. Hobbs ran Starks into a chair, but Starks came back with a tornado DDT for a two-count. Hobbs came back with a low blow and set up some chairs. Starks came back with a low blow of his own. With two chairs set up, Hobbs back body-dropped Starks onto both chairs. The two fought onto and up the ramp. Starks ran at Hobbs, but Hobbs threw him into the lights.
Hobbs ripped lights off one of the tunnels. Starks crawled toward the ring. Hobbs went at Starks, but Starks ducked and speared Hobbs through a table. Starks hit Hobbs across the head with the light fixture and landed his finisher for the win.
Ricky Starks defeated Powerhouse Hobbs via pinfall in 11:54 in a Lights Out match.
McGuire’s Musings: Not necessarily the action-packed, spot-fest, blood-letting lights out situation we’ve become accustomed to. But … a good match nonetheless. Ricky Starks is a star and I wonder if AEW gets in its own way sometimes by taking programs a match too much. For as good as Wednesday was for The Acclaimed, a win at All Out would have been far more electric in that moment. And jobbing Ricky out at that same show in four minutes took a little of the piss away from this victory. I’m sorry, but I’m of the mind that Starks is a guy who could take over the wrestling businesses yesterday. So, to have him lose in the fashion he lost in at the pay-per-view felt a little flat, and I get the comeback story of tonight, but that crowd had already seen wrestling for four-plus hours and me, as I write this, had seen wrestling for at least three-and-a-half hours by the time Mr. Starks hits the ring. Logically, it makes sense. Main event. Grudge match. Lights out. In practice … that’s something different. I’ll shut up here and just say there’s more to be heard in my audio review for Dot Net Members (including our Patreon patrons).
No blood because there’s a no blood rule in New York city.