9/6 Impact Wrestling TV Results: Moore’s review of The North vs. LAX in an Impact Tag Titles vs. Careers match, Rob Van Dam vs. Madman Fulton, Moose vs. Fallah Bahh

By John Moore, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)

Impact Wrestling on Pursuit (simulcast on Twitch TV)
Taped August 15-16, 2019 in Mexico City, Mexico at Fronton Mexico

Highlights aired from last week’s Impact Wrestling episode (including better sound quality from last week’s Ken Shamrock promo. For some reason, Impact decided to muffle Shamrock’s promo last week with background music). The Impact Wrestling theme aired…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis were on commentary with Josh welcoming viewers to Fronton Mexico Entertainment Center in Mexico City, Mexico…

1. Jessika Havok vs. Su Yung. Su went for strikes early on, but this lead to Havok hitting Su with a backbreaker-laritat combo. Havok dominated Su for a sequence. Havok gave Su a series of facewash knees. Josh pointed out that the referee was keeping Havok’s aggression in check and that Havok was risking disqualification. Su managed to get Havok on her knees and she used Havok’s knee to hit Havok with a jumping knee. Havok blocked the mandible claw and locked Su in the Boston Crab. Su intercepted an incoming Havok and used a headscissors to send her into the second turnbuckle.

Su hit Havok with an Old School into a huracanrana. Su then followed up with a glove covered Mandible Claw. Havok got the rope break. Su pulled the middle rope to send Havok to ringside. Su ripped off her shirt, revealing her bra, which lead to a bunch of cat calls. Su hit Havok with a cannonball from the apron. Havok caught Su into the electric chair position and then slammed Su’s face into the apron area. After trying to slam Su ringside, Havok was stopped because she got in a dispute with child referee. Su Yung caught Havok with the red mist, prompting the referee to call for the DQ.

Jessika Havok defeated Su Yung via an apparent DQ in 6:00.

The crowd booed the DQ decision (not sure if they’re rooting for Su or Havok in this situation). Su mounted Havok in the Thesz Press. Havok quickly recovered and then the two women brawled with Havok having the power advantage. Su sidestepped Havok sending Havok into the ringpost. Su backtracked up the ramp with her entrance music playing. Josh said the rivalry between these two is far from over…

John’s Thoughts: The match was wrestled well enough, but this was just a match between two stale heels that nobody cares about. During the build for Slammiversary, they were building Su Yung as sympathetic. In the recent weeks, Havok has been getting cheered mildly for beating up people like John E Bravo and Taya Valkyrie. During that time, all Su did was say a bunch of meaningless gibberish. Where’s James Mitchell to pull all this together? This is the problem Impact is left with so little babyfaces on the Knockouts roster.

The North, Josh Alexander and Ethan Page, were cutting a promo backstage. Page hyped up saying goodbye to LAX forever. Page talked about how he’s going to relish taking what LAX loves the most. Alexander said he understands the situation because the North have been putting their careers on the line around the world for years. Alexander said that the North is going to make people forget that LAX ever existed. Page talked about how being 4-time champions don’t mean anything because it means LAX lost the title 4 times. Page said The North will only have one reign that last four-ever (pun intended)… [c]

Back from the break, the show cut to an OVE camcorder promo with Sami Callihan and the Crist Brothers in some random dilapidated area. Callihan said he’s happy tonight because Impact understands that OVE will burn the company to the ground if OVE doesn’t get what they want. Madman Fulton barged around the room which spooked Callihan. Callihan said he hates when Fulton comes out of nowhere like that. Callihan talked about how Cage is either going to relinquish the champion of get his ass kicked by “the Draw”. Dave talked about how Sami was wearing a suit at the moment and he wondered if he and Dave had to wear suits. Sami then hyped up a match on this episode where he said Fulton will kill Rob Van Dam. Callihan said OVE was for Ohio, by Ohio, and will take over Everything… Everything… Everything! Thumbs up, Thumbs down…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis checked in from their commentary booth. Josh asked Callis if Callis knew any rumors on Cage’s condition. Callis said Cage is getting better, but he’s still not cleared. Josh Mathews announced Naomichi Marufuji will be at Bound for Glory. Josh then hyped the LAX vs. The North Career vs. Title luchas de apuestas match…

2. Moose vs. Fallah Bahh. Bahh rushed down Moose early on and dominated Moose with a plethora of strikes. Bahh ragdolled Moose around the ring with a toss and Belly-to-Belly. Bahh responded to Moose with a no-no-no and a chop. Moose managed to toss Bahh in the corner for a moment of respite. Moose caught Bahh with a cruiserweight running crossbody in the corner. Bahh no sold it and hit Moose with an inside-out lariat. Bahh caught Moose with a crossbody for a two count. Bahh hit Moose with a Banzai drop and got a two count out of it. Mathews noted that people don’t kick out of that.

Callis and Mathews noted that Bahh was in shock of Moose kicking out of his finisher. Bahh took his time to tackle Moose in the corner. Callis noted that Bahh probably hesitated due to self-doubt. Moose sidestepped an incoming Bahh and hit him with a spear for the victory.

Moose defeated Fallah Bahh via pinfall in 4:33.

Josh hyped up Moose facing Ken Shamrock in the future. Moose gave Bahh an ankle lock after the match. The commentators noted that this was a message towards Ken Shamrock. Moose yelled in the camera that Ken Shamrock was “nothing but a bitch”…

John’s Thoughts: A decent match that I hope isn’t the end between Moose and Bahh. In a way, I hope that Moose somehow goes over Ken Shamrock. What’s the use of putting over Ken Shamrock if he isn’t going to be with Impact in the future after Bound for Glory? Hopefully after Moose vs. Shamrock is done and over with, they get back to Bahh’s journey to finally topple the Moose.

Tommy Dreamer was shown backstage hanging out with Zachary Wentz. Dreamer was wearing a Mil Mascaras shirt for some reason. Tessa Blanchard kicked Wentz out of the room and then yelled at Dreamer that she’s sick of what’s happening now. Dreamer talked about he wasted 3 and a half years in a single feud when he could have had a bunch of titles. Tessa said Dreamer doesn’t understand. Tessa said Sami is dead and OVE is Dead. Tessa asked Dreamer if Dreamer is with him. Dreamer said he’s with Tessa in this fight. Tessa tossed up the kendo stick and caught it. Tessa walked off… [c]

Outside, Alisha Edwards was assuring Eddie Edwards that she will never cheat on their relationship. Suddenly, some random lady walked up to both of them and acted like Eddie Edwards was having an affair with her because she saw Eddie’s big “Kenny” (obviously, another paid actor by Ace Austin). Alisha slapped Eddie and said she hated Eddie. Alisha left after Ace Austin went to check on her. Ace Austin walked up to Eddie and called Eddie a “piece of shit”…

John’s Thoughts: So, Alisha is stupid in addition to being mean to her mentally troubled husband? Seriously, I don’t know why this company is hell bent of sticking with “Crazy Eddie” especially now that it is in actuality “dumb Eddie” and “dumb Alisha”. Combine that with the fact that apparently Eddie and Alisha dislike Impact so much that they don’t watch the show. The only likable person in this feud is Ace Austin. Only because he’s not an idiot and he’s doing a great job performance-wise in getting across his sleeze-bag character.

3. TJP vs. Golden Magic. Josh Mathews recapped that this match was set up by Golden Magic’s win last week while TJP had Taurus in a submission hold. Callis noted that TJP’s Dia De Los Muertos tatoo reminds him that TJP lived in Mexico for a stretch of his career. Josh noted that TJP was homeless at one point. Josh also noted that Impact has two former WWE Cruiserweight Champions/X Division Champions in Rich Swann and TJP. TJP stood tall after escaping some headscissors submissions. Josh said that TJP is a proud Filipino-American. Magic dominated TJP for a bit and hit him with a flying armdrag. TJP retreated to ringside and Magic hit him with an Asai Moonsault. [c]

Perkins had Magic in the Tree of Woe and Perkins hit Magic with a dropkick. Josh Mathews noted that Perkins is more used to being a fan favorite (wait what? Most of his Impact run was as the heel servant of James Storm and he had a really fun and long heel run in WWE? I mean, he was that lame video game character for a stretch, but so was Frankie Kazarian). Perkins hit Magic with a slingshot swanton. Perkins locked Magic in a ground butterfly hold. Perkins kicked out of a victory roll attempt by Magic. Magic hit TJP with a Disaster Kick for a two count.

Perkins caught Magic with a dropkick when Magic went for a springboard. Perkins hit Magic with a front and back suplex combo. Magic dodged a Swanton by Perkins and hit Perkins with a slingshot cutter. Magic caught Perkins with an Asai Twisting Press. The commentators noted that the move may have hurt Golden Magic more. Back in the ring, Magic got a two count. Magic hit Perkins with another twisting press. Magic hit Perkins with a modified Final Cut to lead to another nearfall. Perkins came back with a brainbuster for a two count.

Perkins went high risk but Magic caught Perkins with a Frankensteiner to get another nearfall. Perkins dodged a 450 and then dropkicked Magic’s leg. Magic hit Perkins with a moonsault slam for a two count. The crowd goes mild. TJP dodged another 450. Perkinshit Magic with a Detonation Kick which Josh called a modified GTS. Perkins locked Magic in the kneebar for the submission victory.

TJP defeated Golden Magic via submission in 10:12.

John’s Thoughts: The match was fine enough, but this really felt meaningless. I get what they were going for last week by giving Magic the random win, but we’re not going to see Golden Magic after this set of tapings. The lack of real pathos investment really showed here in that the Mexican crowd didn’t even root for Golden Magic nor TJP to set up a bland athmosphere. This felt like an XPlosion match.

The next scene revealed that Ace Austin was paying off that random lady to act like she was having an affair with Eddie. Alisha Edwards walked into the scene which caused Austin to sell the situation as him trying to force away the random lady from messing with him. Austin said that lady might be Eddie’s type but not his. Ace Austin walked Alisha away to prepare for Alisha’s match…

Josh advertised Impact “Operation Overdrive”, which was a Twitch show (and also named after a Power Rangers series). Josh also hyped Impact sponsoring the AAA at the Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden. Josh also advertised Bound for Glory for October 20…

The Impact Plus Moment of the Week was an AJ Styles vs. Sting Match…

Taya and John E Bravo were arguing backstage. John E said Taya’s dog might calm her down. Taya noted that their dog was back in Slam Town. Taya bragged about being the longest reigning Knockouts Champion. Taya then started rantinga bout Tenille Dashwood. John E said he had a plan. Taya noted that John E’s plans usually don’t work. Taya walked off…

They aired a “Johnny Swinger” video package (and it had nothing to do with John Henningan). Instead of John Hennigan, we got this random indie wrestler with a cosplay 80s gimmick. He even referenced Roddy Piper’s bubble gum line in They Live…

Jimmy Jacobs interviewed Tenille Dashwood. Before Dashwood could say anything of merit, Kiera Hogan and Madison Rayne interrupted Dashwood. Rayne said she has “no heat” with Dashwood and she’s introducing herself to Dashwood as the lockerroom. Kiera blamed Dashwood for cutting the line. Dashwood said she’s not cutting the line. Rayne challenged both Kiera and Rayne. Rayne shoved Kiera in front of her and said that Dashwood will challenge Kiera next week…

4. Madman Fulton (w/Dave Crist) vs. Rob Van Dam. Dave was slapping around Fulton before the match to keep him under control. Fulton overpowered RVD in the corner early on. RVD created distance and played footsies with Fulton. Fulton overed Rob again and hit him with a few back elbows. Rob fought off Fulton with his educated feet footsies again. RVD tried to headlock Fulton but Fulton carried RVD to the corner and then tackled him several times. RVD tripped up Fulton with a series of dropkicks. RVD hit Fulton with a spinning heel kick. RVD hit Fulton with a jumping sobat.

RVD caught Fulton at ringside with a cannonball. RVD manhandled Fulton around ringside for a sequence. Dave Crist slapped Fulton a bit to keep him under control RVD escaped a crucifix hold. RVD caught Fulton with a spinning heel kick. RVD hit Fulton with a jumping sobat. RVD hit Fulton with rolling thunder. RVD went for the frog splash but Dave Crist tripped RVD off the top rope in front of the referee for the DQ.

Rob Van Dam defeated Madman Fulton via DQ in 6:25.

Dave and Fulton put the boots to RVD after the match. RVD sidestepped Fulton to cause Fulton to give Dave a boot. RVD booted Fulton to the outside. RVD hit Dave with a five-star Frog Splash. RVD’s crappy ass TNA entrance theme played…

John’s Thoughts: Not only was this a sub-par match, but why did this match even have to happen. Impact should be presenting Madman Fulton as a monster, but instead he’s just a background bit player. They made him look a bit weak by having RVD dominate him at the end of the match.

Jimmy Jacobs was waiting outside of Cage’s locker room for an interview. Instead he got Melissa Santos and he told her she wanted a world title update. Melissa promised Jacobs that Jacobs will get an answer from Cage regarding the title tonight. Jacobs thanked Melissa… [c]

It was time for the latest That 70s Show tribute by the Rascalz. There was no Adobe After Effects smoke and the gimmick here was that they were frustrated at Trey not getting their “stuff” (weed). Rich Swann and Willie Mack then showed off and then seemingly gave them Adobe After Effects weed…

John’s Thoughts: Remember when Rich Swann and Willie Mack were in the main event of this show not too long ago while Cage was out injured? Now their relegated to undercard Rascalz’s low budget skits.

A Deaners and Desi Hit Squad skit aired. The Deaners were forcing the Desi Hit Squad to do farm things. Rohit Raju was acting like he was kinda liking it. Gama Singh said he had a plan to never lose again. Long story short, the DHS were acting like losers while the Deaners acted like assholes…

Jordynne Grace stumbled upon Rosemary’s stairwell lair. Rosemary assumed that Taya sent Grace over. Grace then said that she came here to tell Rosemary that she doesn’t need Rosemary’s help especially after Grace agreed to stay out of Rosemary’s business a few months prior. Rosemary said her usual supernatural rhetoric where she refers to herself as “we”. She talked about how “the shadow” told Rosemary to save Grace’s backside…

John’s Thoughts: I’m ready to see Rosemary get away from Impact Wrestling. The undead realm really damaged her and I would rather see her character in the hands of a crative team that really did a good job with her out-of-this-world character. Like the NWA! Let’s somehow get Rosemary in the NWA!

Josh Mathews hyped Ace Austin vs. Eddie Edwards, Kiera Hogan vs. Tenille Dashwood, and Jake Crist and Sami Callihan vs. Tessa Blanchard and Tommy Dreamer. Josh Mathews hyped the AAA-Impact joint show (The graphic featured wrestlers like Pentagon Jr, Fenix, Aerostar, and others)…

Konnan was with Santana and Oritz backstage rallying the troops. He said LAX will show one last time why they are the best tag team of all time…

5. “The North” Josh Alexander and All-Ego Ethan Page vs. “The Latin American XChange” Santana and Ortiz (w/Konnan) in a Title vs. Career match for the Impact Tag Team Championships. Alexander and Santana started off the match. Alexander used his power advantage to send Santana in the corner. Santana dominated Alexander in the chain wrestling and followed up with a basement dropkick. Santana tagged in Ortiz for their signature tandem offense. Ortiz hit Alexander with a freefall running splash for the nerafall. [c]

Santana and Ortiz continued to trade quick tags to isolate Alexander from his partner. Page managed to pull Ortiz to the outside. Alexander held Santana in place while Page beat up on Ortiz. Alexander then focused his attack on the left knee of Santana. Page tagged in and beat up on Santana. Page and Alexander hit Santana with tandem offense. Page and Alexander also traded quick tags for isloation. Santana kicked Page and then used a victory roll on Alexander to tag in Ortiz for the hot tag. Ortiz cleaned house and did a spinaroonie. Ortiz caught Page with a slingshot DDT.

Ortiz then planted Alexander with a sitout powerbomb. Ortiz lifted Alexander into a Santana superkick. Alexander kicked out at two from Ortiz’s pin. Alexander hit Ortiz with an assisted Impaler DDT. Santana broke up Alexander’s ground and pound. The North hit Ortiz with their double neutralizer finisher. Ortiz kicked out at two. Alexander went for a Burning Hammer but Page told Alexander to go for the Street Sweeper, LAX’s finisher, on Ortiz. Santana broke up the Sweeper attempt. Ortiz rolled up Santana to give him momentum to hit Alexander with a cutter. Oritz hit Page with a Stunner.

Santana hit Alexander with a Poetry In Motion cannonball. Santana booted Page off the apron. Page recovered and held Santana’s leg to prevent them from hitting the street sweeper. Santana went for a moonsault but Alexander caught Santana and hit him with a backbreaker, right into a Page superkick, and into their double team Burning Hammer power slam for the North’s pinfall victory.

The North defeated The Latin American XChange via pinfall in 9:00 of TV Time to retain the Impact Tag Team Championships and end the Impact careers of LAX.

Ethan Page and Josh Alexander celebrated their win with Page wearing one of LAX’s bandanas to gloat in front of Konnan. Callis and Mathews tried to sell that LAX’s [Impact] Careers were truly over. The camera stuck on Konnan, Santana, and Ortiz in the ring together with Santana sitting down in sadness. Ortiz grabed the Mexican and Puerto Rican flags. THe trio then shared hugs… [c]

John’s Thoughts: A decent match, but not quite the barnburner you would expect from both of these world class teams. It’s not even LAX that set the bar high because The North and The Rascalz had a killer main event a few weeks ago. Part of the drama behind the LAX Impact retirement was taken away because AEW already aired LAX’s AEW debut at All Out before this show aired. A bit of bad timing (as this episode was taped, they probably should have aired this in the main event of last week’s show as opposed to the boring Rhino vs. Elgin match).

Josh Mathews recapped the last match which ended the careers of LAX. Josh Mathews and Don Callis then checked in on commentary with Josh Mathews talking in his somber tone. Callis said he’s also going to miss LAX and hopes to see them down the road. Mathews thanked Santana and Ortiz for everything they did for Impact. Josh then segued to the Brian Cage health update segment…

Brian Cage made his entrance in street clothes and and his world title on his shoulder. Cage had his partner Melissa Santos at his side. Cage talked about how he dreamt all his life of being a world champion. He said it took 14 years to finally be world champion. Cage said he didn’t expect the title reign to be like this. Cage talked about how he’s had two long setbacks in his title reign because he was put in the hospital after he won the title and put back on the shelf right after having his first title defense. Cage said he’s really disappointed that he’s only had one title reign in many months as champ.

Cage said he’s got good news now, that he’ll be cleared to defend his title in six weeks at Bound For Glory. Cage said Impact Managment has a decision to make that includes the option of stripping him of the title and handing it to Sami Callihan. Cage said he told management “Hell no, not over my dead body”. Cage said he’s going to defend the title even if he’s injured. Cage said the positive thing from the injury is he’s got to spend time with the person he loves the most, Melissa Santos.

Cage said that Melissa said some things are more important than wins and championships. Cage said the world title update was the second most important thing he wanted to do tonight. Cage then got on one knee and then proposed to Melissa Elizabeth Santos, complete with a ring (wait? Didn’t Taya point out in a Melissa Santos interview that Melissa got married a few months ago?). Melissa said Si and agreed to marry brian cage. Josh Mathews said this is like watching the bachelor. Suddenly the wedding march music started playing as Cage carried Melissa to the back to close the show…

John’s Thoughts: Uhm. That was strange? For one, the wedding thing was abrupt, random, jarring, and made even worse when Taya Valkyrie pointed out that Melissa married Cage a few months ago in an Impact Wrestling backstage segment. I honestly don’t believe that Cage would have approved of this segment and I think it’s just Impact Wrestling writers trying to rush a Pro Wrestling wedding out there. I get it, fans like them some pro wrestling wedding, but this one came out of nowhere with no build whatsoever (he’s even witnessed a better one of these with the Taya Valkyrie and Johnny Impact wedding from Lucha Underground). On top of that, Melissa is now a wrestling character. Last time I saw that it wasn’t great in LU. I say this because Melissa is one of the best backstage interviewers and ring announcers in the entire wrestling business.

Not to mention, Impact obviously understands that Cage has been nonexistant as a champion, but it doesn’t explain why they didn’t take the title away from him even though he’s just dictating it. To bring up Taya again, they established that there is a 30-defense or title-strip stipulation that’s implied in championships. Does what applies to the Knockouts title not apply to the world title? Why would Impact make special rules for Brian Cage as world champion. This was an awkward segment to another subpar show from Impact. Not as bad as last week’s show, but Impact is starting to get in a creative slump after being consistantly one of the better weekly pro wrestling shows in 2019.