By John Moore
WWE Talking Smack
Aired June 27, 2017 on the WWE Network
-Daniel Bryan and Renee Young checked in from the WWE Talking Smack set. Renee quickly drew attention to Carmella legitimately winning the Women’s Money in the Bank Match this time. Bryan talked about how odd it was for James Ellsworth to get involved yet again even though he was ordered not to be there. Bryan compared it to a fan being allowed past the barricade. Renee said she thinks the security guards just didn’t get the memo due to Ellsworth being an employee. Bryan said Smackdown “needs more alerters”.
-Kevin Owens was the first guest. Owens said he wasn’t excited about the Independence Day Battle Royal. Owens continued from his last stint on Talking Smack by cutting off Renee Young. Owens said Smackdown needs better decisions rather than alerters. Owens called the Battle Royal a poor decision. Bryan said the WWE fans will eat it up. Bryan was over-animated in hyping it up. Renee said Will Smith would be great in the Independence Day Battle Royal. Owens said they should get Jeff Goldblum since Jeff Goldblum steals the show. Renee pointed in approval and Owens acted offended.
-Owens brought up how he had a pie thrown in his face last year. Bryan let out a huge random laugh. Owens talked about saving this show. Owens said the show is better now that Bryan is back but it was bad when Shane and Renee were hosting. Owens complained about everything being a “battle” in WWE these days like “Battle Royals” or “Battleground”. Owens said Battleground is much better than “Great Balls of Fire”. Owens agreed.
-Owens said the good part about being on Smackdown is when Bryan trash talks Raw now, Owens is not a part of it. Bryan wanted to know if being the champion of the U.S. or Universe was better. Owens said being the champion of the Universe was better, but the U.S. is better when the champion is Owens. Owens said he was a better champion than Brock Lesnar.
-Owens said he now knows about the Ron Burgundy joke now. Owens said people told him on Twitter that to Ron Burgundy, San Diego means “Whale’s Vagina”. They censored the Whale part for some reason. Owens said AJ Styles was classless for making a joke like that. Owens said there are two types of people in life: Champions/Heroes and bullies. Owens said AJ was a bully. Owens said AJ was a loser because he lost at Backlash. Bryan said Owens also lost. Bryan brought up Owens getting distracted by Jericho’s music in his match against Goldberg. Bryan made a light tap to Owens’ shoulder and Owens called it physical abuse. Bryan called it a rookie mistake by Owens. Owens defended himself by saying it was the referee’s fault for ringing the bell after the “Stupid Idiot’s” theme played.
-Renee tried to move things along. Owens yelled at Renee for interrupting again. Owens and Renee argued with each other. Bryan said he’s trying to say that Owens is not a loser even though he loses. Owens mocked AJ for losing by getting his leg stuck in a table hole. Bryan pointed that AJ has to earn a shot by winning a battle royal. Owens wanted AJ and Chad Gable taken out of the battle royal since they already lost their opportunity.
-Renee said Smackdown was the “Land of Opportunity”. Owens said “Land of Opportunity” is a lame catchphrase perpetuated by Shane McMahon when he’s on the show that means nothing. Owens said AJ and Gable lost their opportunity. Bryan went into comical and patronizing mode by saying that Smackdown was the land of [repeat] opportunities. Owens mocked Bryan for favoritism. Owens said Bryan was making a bad example for Birdie. Owens said Bryan will keep giving Birdie Jo repeat opportunities after failures in life.
-Bryan said the Seahawks didn’t make the Super Bowl but will get another opportunity to compete next season. Owens said he was walking out now since Bryan was making sports references. Owens said “the Boston Bruins”, that’s all he had to say about that. Owens said he doesn’t care about football and was leaving since he lost interest. Owens walked off with Bryan’s cup.
-Renee said Owens says Bruins oddly. Owens took offense to this and wondered if she preferred him saying Toronto Maple Leafs. Owens then snatched Renee’s notes, scribbled on it and tossed it in the air much to Renee’s dismay. Renee said someone needs to give Owens repercussions for this behavior. GM Bryan jokingly said someone needs to give this guy repercussions.
-Bryan said he thinks there shouldn’t be a U.S. Champ that doesn’t like football. Owens came back on set and gave Bryan back his Talking Smack mug. Renee said Owens was wild. Owens came back on set to steal Renee’s Talking Smack mug. Renee was shocked since some of the drink spilled on her phone. Renee said it was okay since the phone was the new waterproof one (probably the Galaxy that had the Little Wayne commercials).
-Renee moved on to talking about the Punjabi Prison Match. Bryan said he’s not sure if it’s steel enforced bamboo or bamboo enforced steel. Bryan said the latter makes more sense. Bryan said the last time we had this match was Batista vs. Great Kahli ten years ago. Bryan said it was a two-stage match where you have to escape two cages. They showed clips of Khali and Batista escaping the last match. Bryan gave Jinder a lot of credit for picking a difficult match instead of trying to pick a cheap match that would allow Singh Brother interference.
-Bryan said part of the reason Jinder choose such a hard match is to gain respect. Bryan said the Singh brothers were also trying to earn respect. Bryan brought up being the color commentator for the WWE CWC and how the Singh Brothers were the Bollywood Boys. Bryan said they were good guys at that point but that caused them to join NXT and not be used. Bryan said sometimes you have to do things people don’t like to make an impact. Bryan talked about Bryan and the Singh brothers making an impact.
-The Usos were the next guests. They asked Bryan where he’s been. Bryan said he had a child. Renee said he liked the energy that the Usos bring, especially after Kevin Owens making the table wet.
-Renee asked the Usos about their rapping ability. Jey said if the New Day want to go there, they can go there. Jimmy said he’s more a fan of the poetry part as opposed to the singing. Renee thought it was the same thing. Bryan told Renee not to go there. Jimmy started to freestyle. Jimmy said they weren’t rappers, but they were more poetry. Jimmy said everyone moves fast but the Usos are slow motion. He said they kick peoples legs out like a kickstand, joints dislocated, tendons torn, where they can’t stand. Jimmy said the New Day give one liners, but the Usos deliver like their Usse JBL, clothesliners.
-Jey reminded Bryan that he was “Sweet Beets” like the vegetable. Bryan started to rap in his weird poetry cadence. Bryan talked about going to the Usos family BBQs and eating Tofu. They all did Sweet Beets and Uso chants.
John’s Thoughts: If you want to look up a clip of how Bryan can rap, use this URL to see Bryan rapping about how “Kane is super smelly”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3jJMyRPNak
-Bryan talked about how Birdie Jo would love seeing Bryan rap with the Usos. Renee asked the Usos what the New Day were bringing to the battle. Jimmy said they are bringing hip shaking, sweating, tromboning, and other things. Jey said he thinks Xavier might be the best rapper because of the PhD. Jimmy thought Kofi was the best because of his quick wit. Renee asked the Usos about their favorite rappers. Jey liked 2Pac. Jimmy said he’s more a fan of poetry than rap.
-Bryan asked the Usos about defending the titles at Battleground. Jimmy said they have a new strategy. Jimmy said the Usos can just walk out and keep the titles if they lose via countout. Bryan said he can’t join the Usos in rapping if the Usos are cheap like that. Jimmy said it’s strategy. Jey said it was checkers. Jimmy yelled at Jey that it was more like chess. Jimmy reiterated that they can lose via countout and keep the titles. Renee said the Usos are better than that. Jimmy said they won’t be cheap like that if Bryan supports them at the rap battle. Bryan said he will do that as their third Usse. Jimmy said Bryan looked a bit goofy in imitating Jimmy. Jey and Jimmy ended the interview by saying that they need Jimmy’s hat back.
-Carmella was the next guest. She bragged about getting the Money in the Bank briefcase back. Renee said Carmella has a glow to her this week. Carmella said it was a hard-fought battle. Bryan congratulated Carmella for winning without James Ellsworth. Carmella demanded an apology for making her cry last week. Bryan said it was fake crying and he doesn’t have to apologize since James Ellsworth helped her cheat in the first match. Bryan said he was proud of Carmella.
-Bryan said somehow Ellsworth got into the building, but at least “The Big Hog has been destroyed”. Renee cracked up off camera because of the “Big Hog” reference.
-Renee asked Carmella how she feels winning it the right way. Carmella said she did win twice and it feels good that the contract is with F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S princess of Staten Island. Carmella said she’s going to be the most fabulous champion when she cashes in.
-Renee brought up how Naomi quickly dispatched of Lana. Carmella said Naomi has fancy dance moves and glows in the dark. Carmella said Naomi is no princess of Staten Island. Carmella left saying she was going to celebrate.
-Bryan said he was okay with the way Carmella won this time. This ended Talking Smack. Renee said she now has to get her water damaged phone fixed.
John’s Thoughts: It’s so refreshing to have Daniel Bryan back and you can tell Renee shares that thought. We got a Big Hog reference again. Bryan is great in his interactions with everyone. Of course, things take a step up with Kevin Owens who can reciprocate the quick wit of Bryan. The Usos were oddly cool babyfaces again but it was good that they tried to heel it up a bit by saying that they will always lose via countout if their title reign is in jeopardy. Carmella has the potential to become the next Alexa Bliss. She has shined on the microphone since winning the briefcase and I look forward to her interactions with Daniel Bryan just like Alexa had the fun interactions in the early days of Talking Smack.
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