By John Moore
WWE Talking Smack
Aired November 9, 2016 on WWE Network
-Renee Young applauded Shane McMahon being on the Survivor Series team. Daniel Bryan said he had the choice of anyone on the list. Bryan said that Bryan was on the list himself but of course WWE won’t allow him to wrestle. Renee Young talked about possibly breaking the hearts of fans by mentioning that he could wrestle. Bryan asked if their hearts were broken (or his/Bryan’s). Bryan said he had to make a decision with Baron Corbin not being able to wrestle and he made his decision.
-Renee wanted to talk about Shane McMahon’s strength on the team. Bryan said all of the teams have some sort of dissent between their members. Bryan said their team needs a leader to calm the disputes. Bryan mentioned how Ambrose and AJ were facing each other at TLC while the Wyatts always cause trouble. Bryan said Shane is there to keep the team together. Renee asked if Shane was ready to wrestle. Bryan said he doesn’t know? Bryan said Shane has a lot of speed based on the way he moves his feet in his entrance. Bryan said Shane was not there as the best wrestler but he was there to bring the team together.
-Renee wanted to know if anyone else was on the list. Bryan said of course there was a whole list. Renee wanted a specific name. Bryan said “yep” and wasn’t going to tell Renee who. Bryan said some people have to keep their secrets. Bryan said we live in an age where everyone puts everything they have on Twitter, Instagram, and “Tout”. Renee said no body uses Tout. Bryan said Tout could have a resurgence with Vines going away.
-Daniel Bryan transitioned to talking about Smackdown’s 900 episode. Renee asked Daniel Bryan about when he first watched Smackdown. Bryan said he was still in High School. Bryan said Smackdown has lasted from his high school, career, and retirement.
-Alexa Bliss was the first guest with an ice pack on her elbow. She said she was robbed several times. She called the referee dumb for not seeing her feet on the ropes. She wanted to see footage. Renee said they weren’t ready for this. Bryan summoned “kazama” to get him the footage. The footage magically was put together. Alexa pointed out the points where her foot was on the rope. Bryan said it looked like her arm was broken. Bliss said if her arm didn’t feel like it was dislocated in five different places she would be fighting Becky Lynch. Becky said Bryan better fix this as she walked off the set.
-Daniel Bryan said he agrees that the referee made a mistake. Bryan said he also thinks that Becky broke Alexa’s arm as he laughed. Bryan said Alexa was so tough to be able to argue on the Talking Smack set with a dislocated arm. Renee said it might have been due to adrenaline. Bryan said a part of him is mad at Alexa barging on the set but another part of him agrees. Bryan said another part of him is hyped that the crazy psycho with a broken arm is on his team for Survivor Series. Bryan said Alexa is ready to fight. Renee wanted to know if Alexa will get a title shot soon. Bryan said he was actually still cringing from watching Becky’s armbar.
-The next topic of discussion was James Ellsworth naming himself mascot. Renee said Ellsworth could bring morale to the team. Bryan said he wasn’t sure he needed a mascot for the men and a “coach” for the women. Bryan said he was proud of the Smackdown Live women’s team, but Natalya convinced Shane and he just accepted it. Bryan also said Natalya keeps talking about her cats. Bryan said when Shane talks with talent like Natalya and Shane he just agrees. Bryan cringed at the thought of Ellsworth possibly being on the actual team with Corbin out. Bryan said he has a message directly to James Ellsworth. He said he loves James as a human being but doesn’t want him on the Survivor Series team. He said he hopes he makes a good mascot. Bryan said Ellsworth didn’t have a passport last week but came into Scotland as one of the most popular people there.
-Renee said that she and Bryan have to go to Raw next week. Bryan gave a blank stare of disappointment. Bryan shrugged off the thought. Renee said Shane can’t go by himself to accept Stephanie’s challenge. Bryan said it was fine because he gets to see his good pal Cesaro and Sami Zayn.
-The final Tag Team on Team Smackdown were the next guests, Tyler Breeze and Fandango. Breeze said the Dango had to pat Bryan down. Dango told Bryan that Brie was fined for having a “hobo shirt”. Renee wanted to know how they feel about being on the team now. Dango and Breeze just said “duh” several times and asked Bryan if he knew what “duh” was. Bryan said he knew what “duh” was while trying to hold back laughter. Dango gave Renee a violation for a haircut that looks like supercuts. They acted like idiots trying to act like idiots. They pulled out handcuffs that may or may not be sex toys? Bryan said they were on live television.
John’s Thoughts:: Tyler Breeze is usually a decent Derrick Zoolander impersonator but this is starting to look like a very bad WWE imitation of Zoolander and Hansel. Well, I suppose I do respect that they are doing whatever they can to stay on the roster.
-Bryan said they were not the captains. Tyler said they were the sergeants. Bryan said Dango could be Deputy Dango while Tyler could be the officer. Bryan said that doesn’t give them much power but they could think they are in charge if they want. They eventually left after Renee Young tried to push them off the set.
-Renee started to talk about the Undertaker returning next week and asked Bryan for his greatest Undertaker moment. Bryan said one of the greatest things you could do as a fan is attend an Undertaker entrance. Bryan said his best moment with Taker was when Team Hell No teamed up with Taker to face The Shield. Bryan said it was bad-“ass” and applauded how he just said the word “ass” on the show.
-Bryan said Cutting Edge was better than Miz TV which was the segway for Maryse and Miz entering the set. Maryse handled most of the talking while trying to say that Bryan is mistreating Miz. Maryse rambled with Miz whispering in her ear at points. Daniel Bryan was actually funny with the sarcasm.
-Maryse wondered why Daniel Bryan wouldn’t trade Miz. Daniel Bryan said he would be happy to do that and if Miz loses he would be glad to trade Miz in exchange for someone who wants to fight. Bryan said he would love to have Cesaro or Sami Zayn. Maryse said they were losers like Bryan. Bryan said Maryse had bad posture. Bryan also mocked Maryse’s voice and said she has terrible English.
-Maryse said that Miz brought the ratings to this show and that she wasn’t lying because you can check the ratings. Bryan wondered if this show had actual ratings and if Maryse knew where to find them. Maryse said you could call the executives. Bryan mocked Miz whispering into Maryse’s ear to correct her. Maryse said Bryan’s act is stale and he does the same thing every week. Bryan mocked Miz’s catchphrases like “Really?” and “Awesome”. Renee Young eventually closed out the show.
John’s Thoughts:: I like the sarcastic and light-bullying Bryan and that’s the Bryan we got tonight. A lot of the guests weren’t that great. Alexa was fine. Breeze and Dango could use more of an edge to them rather than trying to channel Zoolander and Hansel. Maryse was losing her place in her promo but luckily had Miz and Daniel Bryan around to keep her on track. We didn’t get any big promos this week like we got from Miz, Cena, or even Baron Corbin in past weeks but at least this was not a boring iteration of the show. Renee isn’t bad on her end as well as she never loses her cool no matter who she is teamed up with. Bryan was the usual star though and he got his usual “WWE won’t let me wrestle” comments or jabs at the logic on the show.