10/4 Moore’s Impact Wrestling TV Review: Johnny Impact and Austin Aries meet face to face before their BFG match, Moose kidnaps Alisha Edwards, Kiera Hogan vs. Su Yung, Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal

By John Moore, Prowrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)

Impact Wrestling on PopTV
Taped September 13-14 from the Frontón México Entertainment Center in Mexico City, Mexico

The intro teaser recapped the events from last week’s Impact episode. The Impact intro theme aired…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis were on commentary. Josh Mathews said it was the penultimate Impact episode before Bound for Glory…

1. Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal. Sydal started the match off with a handshake that Swann accepted. Sydal shoved his hand into the forehead of Swann and Swann responded with a enzuiguri and a running cannonball from the apron. Josh Mathews plugged comda and Don Callis joked about possibly buying a beret from Comda. A Josh Mathews voiceover cut in where he plugged Ghostbusters for PopTV. Sydal and Swann had chain wrestling inside of the ring which Swann dominated with a headscissors and single leg mule kick.

Sydal gained control and gave Swann a chop on the outside. Swann regained control after Sydal started pointing at his “third eye”. Sydal retreated to under the ring. Sydal might have used a foreign object on the face of Swann but Sydal told the referee it was just a forearm. Sydal gave Swann a back suplex inside of the ring. Sydal said the light is coming to Rich. Swann blocked a suplex into a punch and several shin kicks. Sydal landed a cool looking huracanrana. Swann hit Sydal with a cross kick for a two count.

Rich Swann hit Sydal with a Lethal Injection for a two count. Swann went high risk but Sydal recovered and tripped Swann. Sydal hit Swann with a jumping frankensteiner but Swann landed on his feet. Sydal countered Swann frankensteiner with a super power bomb. Sydal hit Swann with a nick high kick. Swann blocked Sydal’s swinging backbreaker. Swann knocked out Sydal with his signature cross kick. Sydal called the referee over to check on his face while Swann went high risk. Suddenly an unknown wrestler showed up and took down Swann from the top rope and gave him a light Border Toss in the ring. The camera kept focusing on the unknown man’s back and Don Callis wondered if it was a fan. Don Callis asked for security. Sydal hit the swinging backbreaker for the win.

Matt Sydal defeated Rich Swann via pinfall in 7:45.

The camera panned over, and it was Chandler Park! No, I’m kinda kidding. It’s the guy who was playing Chandler Park, “All Ego” Ethan Page. Sydal and Page kept pointing at their foreheads. A Josh Mathews voiceover cut in and talked about Ethan Page being a blue chipper…

John’s Thoughts: A solid match for what we got. Of course, the reason we didn’t get a full match because this was all about introducing Ethan Page, who is making his Impact return, presumably not related to Abyss this time around. I’ll wait and see on this one. Maybe they see that Sydal’s a good talker and they want to have him be Page’s mouthpiece? Or maybe this is going to lead to lame Third Eye nonsense.

Sami Callihan, Jake Crist, and Dave Crist were cutting one of their camcorder promos. Dave Crist acted scared and paranoid. Dave claimed that Fenix and Pentagon Jr. have magical powers based on what they did to him last week. Sami said that the Lucha Brothers may have Dave fooled but the brothers do not have magical powers. Jake tried to convince Dave that they don’t have magical powers. Dave yelled that Sami and Jake did not get kidnapped. Sami yelled to shut up. Jake went back into his Damien Mizdow mime routine while Dave was sobbing. Sami talked about how they were coming to Mexico to call out the asses of the Lucha Brothers and if they aren’t yella they will meet with OVE face to face… [c]

John’s Thoughts: As stupid as the “Magical Powers” thing sounds, that’s actually a logical explanation for last week’s production flub where Dave was in the ring one moment and then he teleported to a dark room and was tied up to a chair in a matter of seconds. Of course, that’s a better explanation than Impact saying that they just screwed up production-wise.

Eddie Edwards picked up the phone and the Caller ID presumably said it was Alisha Edwards. Eddie calls his wife “Lish”. Moose was on the other side of the phone. Because they had a camera with both Moose and Eddie, this was Impact going into Cinematic mode again. Moose said Eddie’s wife is just fine sitting next to him. Moose asked Eddie if Eddie remembers “the incident” at a bar in Mexico back in 2014. Moose told Eddie to meet him upstairs at the abandoned bar…

John’s Thoughts: This is either going to be crap bad or hilariously bad. Because Moose has been so funny as a heel, I’ll go with hilarious? Hopefully he doesn’t go into horny sexual predator mode like he did last week when he was rubbing his crotch during matches and hitting on McKenzie Mitchell.

Josh Mathews and Don Callis said they smell smoke. Don Callis saw Scarlett Bordeaux below the commentary stage. Josh said he’d help her up, but Callis shoved Josh down and dashed over to bring Scarlett over to the commentary table. Scarlett was wearing one of those dresses with plenty of inside boob supported by double stick tape. Mathews facepalmed at Callis’ horniness. Callis brought out a water bottle to do the squirt routine. Scarlett said Don was a 10 while Josh is a 5. Scarlett said Don is a little wet just like Scarlett. Scarlett talked how she was scouting for her talent search…

Eli Drake made his entrance for his weekly open challenge. A Josh Mathews voiceover cut in to hype the Lucha Brothers and OVE in the main event segment. The voiceover also talked about Moose possibly kidnapping Alisha Edwards in the previous cinematic.

John’s Thoughts: If they are going to take the Lucha Underground approach, one lesson they can take from LU is not have their commentators acknowledge cinematics. Then you don’t have to explain supernatural things, multi-camera shots, fourth walls, vision from dying kids, etc…

Eli Drake spoke in Spanish to start the promo. In Spanish, he welcomed people to the “Church of E…li Drake”. Drake said that he had amigos in Mexico who are going to be his disciples. Drake went into his usual Dwayne Johnson routine complete with the Dwayne Johnson hand motions and promo cadence. Drake called out the technicos (babyfaces) in the locker room so he can kick them in the keester after they do their planchas. Drake also called out the rudos (heels) who may have the tingle in their huevos (balls). Drake then ran through his usual catchphrases. He tried to get the crowd to join in by translating his catchphrases to Spanish, but they didn’t react. Tough crowd.

John’s Thoughts: To Drake’s credit, he did put a lot of effort into cutting a good Spanish promo. I’m not Hispanic, but I’ve covered enough Spanish promos to get a sense of what is good or bad at this point. Sadly, the crowd didn’t bite. On another note, does Impact really want this guy? He’s too talented but they are running him down in the comedy undercard. Maybe he should have gone to NXT?

After Drake finished his catchphrases some generic EDM music started playing. Mexican and WCW wrestling legend, LA Parka, made his entrance. La Parka talked in Spanish and told Drake to look at him. It was hard to hear what he was saying because the crowd was cheering loud and Parka’s mouth was covered by his mask…

John’s Notes: To clarify things, there are actually two La Parkas running around in Mexico. The original which people may remember as the goofy skeleton from WCW and a replacement one that AAA hired since they own the copyright. Since the crowd was chanting “L.A. Park”, I’m guessing this is WCW La Parka. Both are over 50 years old.

2. Eli Drake vs. La Parka. Parka was beating up Drake as the camera focused on the commentary table where Scarlett was talking about her talent search. Drake managed to turn the tide in his favor after a neckbreaker. Don Callis was excited to hear that Scarlett Bordeaux may like violence. Eli Drake brought out a padded chair form under the ring. Parka hit Drake with an Eye of the Hurricane. Drake rolled outside of the ring and retreated up the ramp for the countout.

La Parka defeated Eli Drake via countout in 2:37.

Don Callis and Josh Mathews continued to chat with Scarlett…

The show cut to the weekly LAX clubhouse cinematic. Konnan, Santana, and Ortiz were playing dominoes and talking about how Eddie Kingston wasn’t getting into their heads to break the ceasefire. Speak of the devil, Eddie Kingston, Hernandez, and Homicide entered the scene (which looked like a movie set since the camera showed that there were movie set lights in the room). Eddie Kingston ordered the OGz to hold the title belts and the Puerto Rican flag.

Konnan said that he raised Kingston. Kingston said Konnan raised a snake. Kingston continued to terrorize LAX by messing around with their stuff. Kingston picked up Konnan’s cup of blanco tequila. Kingston took a sip of the tequila and then spat it in the face of Konnan. Homicide poured tome tequila on the belts. The OGz put the stuff they picked up down and then left. Santana did the throat slash sign and said “it’s done”… [c]

John’s Thoughts: While the rest of Impact’s cinematics aren’t great, LAX are the best at the cinematic universe (when you don’t involve child murder and mafia cosplay). Since they moved away from the attempted child murder shenanigans, this whole “ceasefire” thing has worked like a charm in putting heat on Eddie Kingston. Kingston is making the most of it by playing a troll and knowing that Konnan can’t do anything about it because he’s both honorable and unwilling to play dirty. LAX, as usual, is the best thing going on this show most weeks. Them and Austin Aries.

Matt Sydal and Ethan Page were backstage. Sydal introduced Page as a man who seizes the sacred when they exist. Ethan Page no longer has a squeaky nasal voice. Page said Swann dropped the ball by not following the enlightened path of Matt Sydal and seeing through his third eye. Sydal said they are transcendent and walk together as a unit. Sydal said they are going to be a tag team. Sydal and Page challenged Rich Swann and “any person in the business” to a match at Bound for Glory. Page said since Swann was not smart enough to open his third eye, Ethan Page will stick his foot up Swann’s “brown eye” (butthole)…

John’s Thoughts: This mystery partner better not be Tommy F’n Dreamer, because every time Dixie Carter used to tease a “mystery opponent” it felt like nine times out of ten it was Tommy Dreamer. It’s probably not Dreamer and likely a cool addition like Sami Callihan last year, but you can’t help but think of Impact doing TNA things.

Some evil music started playing at Katarina accompanied Murder Clown to the ring. Josh Mathews said that Murder is a part of AAA’s “Psycho Circus”. Joe Hendry and Grado made their entrance. Joe Hendry said he discovered some disturbing footage of Katarina and her new business partner. Joe Hendry played one of his non-copyright custom entrance themes which was a love ballad between Murder Clown and Katarina. Joe Hendry included more jokes at Paul Burchill being a pirate as well as the infamous “Incest” angle that never made it to the light of day. After Joe Hendry entered the ring the crowd chanted that Joe was a “puto” (which is Spanish for Ho, bitch, or other more serious curse words)…

3. Joe Hendry vs. Murder Clown (w/Katarina). Murder Clown overpowered Hendry to begin the match. Hendry responded with a high knee. Murder took down Hendry with a jumping lariat. Josh Mathews hyped the BCW show with David Arquette. Murder Clown hit Hendry with a running dropkick. Murder Clown dominated Hendry with a shortarm kick. Clown then hit Hendry with a body slam. Hendry dodged a running senton. Hendry lifted the huge Murder Clown and hit him with a fall away slam. Murder hit Hendry with a corner splash and then a top rope splash for the win.

Murder Clown defeated Joe Hendry via pinfall in 2:50.

Murder brought a table in the ring. Katarina gave Grado a low blow and Grado rolled to the outside. Don Callis said that was probably the most action that Grado had in that area of his body in a long time. Murder set up the table and gave Hendry a top rope splash through the table. Josh Mathews said Katarina is a vixen. Josh Mathews said it was hard to keep track of all of the stories going on… [c]

John’s Thoughts: Murder Clown wasn’t terrible in the ring (he’s much better than Psycho Clown at least from what I see). I’m wondering, why are they wasting time building up Murder Clown at the expense of Joe Hendry and Grado? I don’t think they’re going to bring in Murder Clown after these tapings. If they were going to bring anyone over, why not bring back unmasked King Cuerno? That guy’s a main event talent.

An advertisement aired for Abyss’s Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which was happening next Saturday at McHale’s Bar and Grill in New York…

Impact cut to their cinematic camera again complete with ambient background music. Eddie Edwards looked around the random building and bound Moose and Alisha Edwards in an empty white room which also had a long table. Moose told Eddie to have a seat at the opposite end. Eddie dropped his kendo stick and sat at the end of the table. There was a long awkward silence. Moose had this strange grin on his face. (They kept the camera on both men’s faces for a bit too long, but Moose made it hilarious). Moose kidnapped Alisha Edwards I guess? Eddie said he put Kenny down and Moos should let Alisha go.

Moose said Eddie is always selfish. Moose said back at Redemption he went through a god damn table for Eddie. Moose said it’s embarrassing that the same guy that put Moose in the hospital is the only person to check up on Moose in the hospital. Moose said someone who he only said less than three words to (Killer Kross) also checked up on him and not Eddie. Eddie said that Aries and Kross aren’t really Moose’s friends. Eddie said that Moose is a cog and a means to an end.

John’s Thoughts: Well… Moose kinda has a point. Angelina Love pointed out how Eddie Edwards never checked up on his best friend Davey Richards while Davey’s career was on the line in the hospital. Eddie was also the person who left his wife alone in a hospital with Sami Callihan to go on a murder spree against the Crist Brothers.

Moose talked about how Eddie has no right to talk about friends. Moose said that Moose was the first person that Eddie called when he was having wife problems due to Tommy Dreamer. Moose said he was also there with beers when Eddie was in an empty house. Eddie said that he agrees that he deserves to get his ass kicked and that he was being a bad friend. Eddie said they can even have a match at Bound for Glory or even hug it out. Eddie said that Moose should let Alisha go. Eddie then said the word “Quinn”. Moose then raised his voice and said that Eddie cannot call him that because only friends call each other by their first name.

Eddie then yelled “Lish Now!”. Alisha then threw water at Moose’s face which was strong enough to allow Eddie Edwards to beat up Moose. Killer Kross ran in and started to choke Eddie against a wall. Eddie escaped by jabbing his thumbs in the eyes of Kross. Eddie hit Kross once with the stick and he ran out of the building with his wife. For some reason, even though they were being chased by a Killer and kidnapper, Eddie said to stop right outside the door so he can make a phone call. Johnny Impact was on the other side, we know this because they had a cinematic camera pointed at him. Eddie said Moose and Kross aren’t in the arena, so Johnny Impact can attack Austin Aries who is now by himself… [c]

John’s Thoughts: Okay, this was horrible; but I’d be lying to ya if I didn’t tell you I cracked up during this entire segment. It harkened to those “so bad it’s funny” days for me with Edwards and Callihan. That said, who does this B-movie shiz appeal to? I mean, if they are going to use Lucha Underground as an example, Lucha Underground makes sure that their universe at least follows the rules of logic. What I legit didn’t like is we’re back to “Dumbass Moose” and Kross had to be dragged into Moose’s dumbass plan to kidnap Alisha Edwards and fail at it because someone threw water in his face.

Josh Mathews recapped the previous cinematic complete with action movie music. Johnny Impact was shown walking in a circular stairwell in the latest cinematic. Johnny Impact found a door with the words “Austin Aries, Killer Kross, and Moose” printed on a piece of paper. Johnny kicked down the door and found out that nobody was in it. Johnny walked into a random dark room and there was a random guy laughing in it. Johnny said, “What are you doing in the dark, that’s weird”. Johnny continued his search for Austin in a production room…

After his failed search for Austin Aries, Johnny Impact made his entrance to the ring. Josh Mathews recapped the past few cinematics and tried to rationalize them. The Josh Mathews voiceover also advertised Comda Presents Bound for Glory. Johnny said he knows that Aries is all alone and he wants Aries to come out for a conversation about Bound for Glory now that he doesn’t have his lapdogs with him. Austin Aries then made his entrance with his arm in a sling. Aries also was limping to the ring slowly. Don Callis said that Aries looks banged up, for real.

Aries joined Johnny in the ring with a mic. Aries said he’s alone but after last week when he got hit in the head with the title, he gained several injuries. Aries said he injured his arm when blocking the belt shot to the head complete with nerve damage. Aries said the belt shot also gave him a concussion. Aries said because of the concussion he fell off the stairs and twisted his ankle. Aries said he also has a bad back.

Johnny laughed off Aries and said that Aries had an “inconvenient day”. Aries said he doesn’t want to kick Aries’ ass now but rather at Bound for Glory. Johnny said when he joined Impact Wrestling he set his sights on the Impact World Championship to prove that nobody was better than Johnny Impact in the ring. Johnny said it’s about who is the best; not who can get the most goons or politic backstage. Aries said the championship match should just be about Aries vs. Impact. Johnny said Aries came out by himself tonight but is he willing to do the same at Bound for Glory.

Aries asked if this was all about making Aries come out by himself at Bound for Glory. Aries said he already beat Johnny Impact in a title defense. Aries talked about winning the title from Eli Drake in 45 seconds and then beating Johnny Impact as one of his first opponents. Austin Aries said he guarantees that Moose and Killer Kross will not interfere in their Bound for Glory match. Aries said he doesn’t need anybody to beat Johnny because he’s the world champion and best pro wrestler in the world. Aries said he knows who he is, but Johnny doesn’t know himself because one week he’s Johnny Nitro, Johnny Mundo, John Hennigan, Boone, Johnny Survivor, etc.

Aries said Johnny puts his eggs in 15 different Easter Baskets and hasn’t filled any of them. Aries said he put his eggs in one big basket called pro wrestling. Aries said he put egg after egg in that basket. Aries said Johnny is a jack of all trades and master of none while Aries is the master of pro wrestling and the master of this universe. Aries said he wasn’t done yet. Aries said Johnny looks like a million bucks with jewels, long hair, six pack abs. Aries said Johnny looks like the man, like a “pretend” pro wrestler. Aries said Aries doesn’t look like the man, he’s just the man with the title to prove it.

Aries said Johnny likes movies and the movie that’s playing at BFG has Johnny as a co-star. Aries said that Johnny is going to look like a star, his pants with more jewels, hair extensions, six pack abs with six pack abs, like he’s a conqueror. Aries said he’s just going to walk out with black trunks and plain boots. He said he doesn’t even care if they play his music. Aries said he’s simply going to beat Johnny. Aries said he’s going to embarrass Johnny at BFG. Aries said there’s another movie Johnny can star in and that’s do what Moose did and Join the winning team. Aries said that before Johnny has to start calling himself “Johnny 205”, Aries can help Johnny unlock his potential.

Johnny said a simple yes would have been fine. Johnny then laid out the options that Aries laid out. Johnny said he would rather walk out by himself and wheeled out on a stretcher than follow Aries. Johnny then said some Spanish curse words like pendejo (dumbass), idiota (idiot), and culero (asshole). Johnny said hell no to the offer to join Aries. Austin Aries then punched Johnny Impact with the microphone. Don Callis said he saw Austin Aries injured at the airport and he’s been working everybody all along. Johnny Kicked Aries to the ground and hit him with Starship Pain. Aries rolled away and crawled up the ramp in retreat. Johnny Impact celebrated with the title belt in the ring…

John’s Thoughts: That was probably the best babyface promo Johnny Impact has ever cut in Impact Wrestling, maybe in his career (but I have to go back to some of his Season 4 LU work because he’s doing a great job as a babyface there currently). Austin Aries did his magic by pointing out a lot of Johnny’s weaknesses and using that to make Johnny look sympathetic. Johnny did great and best of all he ended the promo talking like a human being and not the weird “Turd cutter”, “douche rocket”, “Slam town”, and other lame things he usually says. Johnny’s a main eventer waiting to happen, but he has to break these bad habits ASAP. Good first step, but is it enough to get him to BFG. Hopefully they have a good follow up at the go-home.

Brian Cage was yelling a promo while in a random stairwell. Cage said that Sami Callihan doesn’t want to wait for Bound for Glory? Cage said he’s coming out to speak for himself. He said he was going to Bound for Glory to take down “Everybody!”. Cage said he was going to destroy the Ohio punks, The Crist Brothers, first and then come after Sami. Cage said Sami only drew an ass whooping from the machine. Cage ended his promo by flexing his muscles… [c]

Rohit Raju and Gursinder Singh were depressed backstage about losing their shot at the tag titles. Raju said maybe they weren’t doing things “By any means necessary” good enough. Gama Singh walked in and hit the Desi Hit Squad guys with his broom. Gama yelled some things in Punjabi. Gama then set up a Gursinder Singh vs. Rohit Raju match for next week…

John’s Thought: Oh boy… Can’t wait for that implosion of the Desi Hit Squad… (ugh)

Josh Mathews cut to The Global Wrestling Network Flashback Match of the Week, which was Hulk Hogan vs. Sting in the “Battle for Control of the Company” from Bound for Glory 2011. A bunch of old guys were in the ring like Scott Steiner, Hulk Hogan, and Ric Flair. You know the average age is old when Bully Ray and Sting are the young guys in there. NXT Wrestler Jaxon Ryker was also in the ring. This match somehow ended up with Sting and Hulk Hogan betraying Hogan’s heel faction. I didn’t have to fast forward since Impact fast forwarded for me with edits. Garett Bischoff was shown holding his back so I assume he just finished up his Ref Bump. Dixie Carter shook her head…

Scarlett Bordeaux was shown rubbing her body backstage in a new green tube top. Scarlett ran into a random wrestler backstage (it was Jack Evans who was freshly released from his Lucha Underground contract. They killed him last week on air). Jack Evans did a backflip to try to impress Scarlett during her talent search. Scarlett then ran into some random cat luchador (I think this guy goes by the name “Puma King”, I’m not sure). Scarlett said his gear looked kinky. Jack said, “she’s mine”. The cat guy said, “Every queen needs a king”.

The Smoke Show graphic flashed on the screen. Scarlett then walked out of her hotel bedroom I guess? (she walked out of a room where you could clearly see a king-sized bed). Trevor Lee and Petey Williams were randomly on her couch. Petey was wearing the Canadian Flag as a blanket. Petey shooed away Trevor to the chair. Petey said he’s going to go first. Petey said he’s going to do something for the first time, show Scarlett the secret to the Canadian Destroyer. Petey told Scarlett to get a wide base and to bend over.

Petey then moved her hips close to his crotch region while Trevor Lee shook his head in confusion. Petey then said he now has to put his head between Scarlett’s legs in order to teach her the move. Petey shoved his head between Scarlett’s legs. Trevor Lee pulled Petey’s head out of Scarlett’s legs and told him to stop being a creep. Trevor said, “this has nothing to do with anything” (the story of TNA’s life). Scarlett said if Trevor and Petey want to fight they can take it outside. This ended the Smoke Show segment… [c]

John’s Thoughts: “This has nothing to do with anything”. Someone should put Trevor Lee on a creative team for these genius words. Is a horny Scott D’Amore booking tonight’s show? This was a really “Only in TNA” show tonight and by that I mean if you try to sit someone with you to watch this show, that someone will question your intelligence afterwards because you made them watch some dumb ass shiz. Anyway, positivity! Not sure if they’d pull it off right, but what if they’re going to put Scarlett with Trevor Lee and used that to get him in the main event? I’d roll the dice, or just release Trevor Lee from his Impact servitude. Another positive I hope comes from this segment, sign Jack Evans! Evans is one of the legendary high flyers that a lot of people don’t know about and he’s a damn good heel.

It was time for a Lucha Brothers promo. Fenix handled the English part saying that OVE and Sami Callihan came to Mexico to try to beat the Lucha Brothers. Fenix asked if they were stupid. Fenix said that Sami tried to come to Mexico to call his and Pentagon’s name. He tried to call the Lucha Brothers. Fenix said he doesn’t know what Sami wants to do but he’ll be there to see Sami tonight. Pentagon Jr. repeated the same promo in Spanish (a bit better worded). Pentagon said this is not Ohio, but Mexico with Pentagon’s people. Pentagon said they were going to show why the Lucha Brothers are the best tag team in the world. “Por que Yo Soy Pentagon Jr, El Cero Miedo”. Fenix then said “Animo” and called Sami a cabron (jackass)…

John’s Thoughts: Don’t let Fenix cut promos. He’s kinda like Jeff Hardy where he doesn’t need to. Pentagon has been so strange in Impact because I’ve been in live crowds where he’s lit the world on fire with his masterful speaking ability. I’m just guessing here, but I think the problem is Impact is making him be a generic luchador by playing the white meat babyface. It doesn’t have to be original. He can be babyface. LU has him cutting Stone Cold Steve Austin promos and he does a good job. Why not have him cut Steve Austin promos here (and they won’t come off as bootleg like Eli Drake’s Rock promos).

This week’s Undead Maid of Honor looked like a random indie wrestler from Mexico (I guess KC Spinelli couldn’t make the trip). Josh Mathews plugged the comda free hats again…

4. Kiera Hogan (w/Allie) vs. Su Yung (w/UDMOH). Kiera quickly turned the tables on Su Yung early on with corner splashes and a dropkick. Don Callis said Kiera Hogan is a future Knockouts Champion. Su Yung lifted Kiera and then slammed her on the mat. Su tossed Kiera around the ring. Kiera blocked a headscissors move and then hit Su with several running facebusters. Kiera hit Su with a superkick. Kiera hit Su Yung with a suicide dive. Josh Mathews said Kiera just turned 24 years old. Kiera blocked a panic switch and hit Su with a sitout power bomb.

UDMOH held Kiera’s foot on the top rope while Su distracted referee Johnny Bravo. Allie tried to attack UDMOH but it was too late and Su Yung caught Kiera with a rising palm strike. Su also slapped Allie off the apron. Su Yung hit Kiera with the panic switch for the win.

Su Yung defeated Kiera Hogan via pinfall in 4:18.

The undead brides maids dragged out a casket (not a coffin, since coffins are shaped differently). Allie attacked Su Yung and UDMOH. UDMOH shoved Allie in the back which allowed Su Yung to claw Allie with the bloody glove. Kiera Hogan ran in to save Allie from being put in the casket. Su shoved the glove in Kiera’s mouth and put Kiera in the casket. Su Yung and UDMOH posed on top of the casket… [c]

John’s Thoughts: So, I guess Kiera Hogan is now dead via casket just like Rosemary, Madison Rayne, and Lucha Underground Konnan? Can someone throw Trevor Lee in a casket? Throw Caleb Konley in there too since Konley is also a really good wrestler and needs out of this company!

Allie was shown crying and wallowing around on a stairwell. They went back to the cinematic camera with filters and creepy music. Allie kept crying and saying, “Kiera’s gone”. Allie kept punching walls as the camera did weird after effects and showed scenes of Su Yung putting Kiera in a casket. Allie said she knows what she has to do (get possessed again?)…

John’s Thoughts: ugh. They really lost their way with Su Yung, Allie, and Kiera Hogan. Don Callis himself at All In said that Su Yung is Impact’s Undertaker. Why not treat her like Undertaker and she has to cheat to get cheap victories. I also don’t get what they are going for with Allie. This better not lead to a bootleg Lucha Underground segment next week. Maybe this leads to Rosemary’s return from the dead at BFG? That’ll be underwhelming. What I wouldn’t mind seeing is Rosemary, Crazzy Steve, and Decay Abyss return? That’d be cool.

Josh Mathews and Don Callis did an ad for the [not so-] free Comda hats which you have to pay 9.99 for…

Josh Mathews hyped Eddie Edwards, Johnny Impact, and Fallah Bahh vs. Austin Aries, Killer Kross, and Moose next week…

A Taya Valkyrie and Tessa Blanchard promo vignette aired. Taya said that Tessa is a bully and Taya is sick of it (isn’t Taya’s character a bully? Impact, LU, and AAA Taya!). Taya said that Tessa is a star but Tessa has a sense of entitlement. Taya talked about being the Wera Loca (crazy white girl) and will be the new Knockouts Champion. Taya said diamonds are created by pressure and heat which Tessa has. Taya said she will prove that they can also be broken…

Jake Crist, Dave Crist, and Sami Callihan made their entrance. The crowd showered Sami with “Culero” (asshole) chants. Sami told the crowd to shut up which fired them up more. Sami said he’s pissed off because Impact management is letting people do what they want to do. Sami said they already made the stipulation at BFG and it’s going to be a “OVE” Rules match at Bound for Glory. Sami called for a referee, so they can have the match before Bound for Glory… [c]

5. “OVE” Jake Crist, Dave Crist, and Sami Callihan vs. Pentagon Jr, Fenix, and Brian Cage. Once Cage made his entrance the Lucha Underground trio stormed the ring and gave OVE stereo superkicks. Cage and Fenix started off with a modified More Bang for Your Buck on Sami for an early nearfall. Sami clawed at Fenix’s face. Fenix tried to do his tightrope routine, but Dave was against the ropes to prevent it from happening. Sami hit Fenix with a neckbreaker. Sami continued to claw at Fenix’s face. The Josh Mathews voiceover cut in and did a Ghostbusters PopTV ad.

OVE went for their triple finisher but Fenix slipped away and tagged in Cage. Cage gave OVE lariats. Sami gave Cage a pump kick which Cage no sold. Cage hit Sami with a power bomb. Cage caught Jake and Dave in a Double German Samoan Drop on the brothers. Sami hit Cage with another nosold pump kick. Sami threw down the referee for the DQ.

Pentagon Jr, Fenix, and Brian Cage defeated OVE via DQ in 3:39.

Both trios hit each other with high impact moves. Cage and Dave ended up in the ring. Cage went for his signature inside to outside deadlift suplex. The Lucha Brothers and OVE made sure to break Cage’s fall (The camera probably shouldn’t have shown them running into position). Cage yelled who’s the “Who’s the F—ing Machine!”. Fenix hit everyone with a corkscrew crossbody off the guard railing. Both trios kept brawling and Josh Mathews said they couldn’t stick around since the show was over…

John’s Thoughts: Hmmmm… To be honest, this last segment and most of this episode did a lot to discourage me from watching Bound For Glory more than encourage. Austin Aries, Johnny Impact, and LAX deserve a gold star for carrying this show in terms of quality. Let’s boil this down. Why would I want to drop down $40+ to watch OVE vs. Team Lucha Underground when I can watch cool as hell singles, trios, and tag team matches involving Sami Callihan, Cage, Penta, and Fenix on my Netflix subscription? You get Ricochet and LAX on there too! Here’s the thing. I know that Bound for Glory has an awesome lineup because I cover a lot of these wrestlers in other promotions, but how about casual viewers or hardcore wrestling fans that hate TNA supposed to drop down cash on what is essentially a gamble or crappy charity?

This was overall a bad episode with two things that I’ll recommend highly to ya’ll. On a serious note, check out the Austin Aries and Johnny Impact promo segment. Aries may be at the top three wrestlers in the world. He made Moose into a passable babyface and is doing the same with Johnny and Johnny managed to escape a promo sounding like a human. The other recommendation goes to the Moose and Edwards kidnapping segment. It was bad, but I personally get a kick out of dumbass Moose. Seriously. He was defeated because Alisha threw water in his face. Maybe Jason Powell thought this was better? He’ll be by later today with his Impact Hit List and Members Exclusive Audio Review.

---