5/5 Impact Wrestling TV results: Moore’s review of Jonah vs. PCO in a Monster’s Ball, Ace Austin vs. Rocky Romero for the X Division Title, Tomohiro Ishii vs. Steve Maclin, W Morrissey vs. Brian Myers in a tables match, Rich Swann and Willie Mack vs. Jay White and Chris Bey

By John Moore, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)

Impact Wrestling TV
Taped in Poughkeepsie, New York at MJF Convention Center

Aired May 5, 2022 on AXS TV

Highlights from last week’s Impact Wrestling show aired…

Tom Hannifan and Matthew Rehwoldt were on commentary. Dave Penzer was the ring announcer…

The show started off with a camera shot of a random door. You could hear banging on the door and someone (PCO) yelling “JONAHHHHHH!”…

Entrances for the opening Tables Match took place…

1. W Morrissey vs. Brian Myers. Morrissey soaked in crowd chants to start the match. Morrissey won the initial punch battle leading to Myers being pummeled with strikes and splashes in the corner. Morrissey hit Myers with an East River Crossing. When Morrissey went for a table, Myers hit Morrissey with a plancha. Hannifan noted that Morrissey isn’t at 100% due to wrestling at AEW Dynamite last night.

John’s Thoughts: I respect the kayfabe effort by Hannifan. This guy is so good.

Morrissey worked on Myers with methodical offense at ringside. Morrissey also took time to soak in the crowd reactions. Myers got a few cheap shots in on Morrissey while Morrissey went for the table. Myers managed to stagger Morrissey with a jawbreaker on the top rope. Myers hit an ugly outside-in suplex on Morrissey (which works visually because Morrissey is 7 foot). Myers yelled that he was the most professional wrestler. Morrissey took down Myers with a Big Boot.

Morrissey was about to Jackknife Powerbomb Myers through the table at ringside, but Matt Cardona ran out and knocked the table over. Cardona lured Morrissey around the ring which allowed him and Cardona to put the boots to Morrissey. The Major Players hit Morrissey with a double team suplex. Morrissey powered up and hit The Major Players with consecutive lariats and corner splashes. Morrissey managed to hit Morrissey with a double choke slam.

Chelsea Green ran out with the Digital Media Championship. Morrissey teased power bombing Chelsea, but Cardona clocked Morrissey with the championship belt. Myers set up a table at ringside and put a bunch of wrestling toys and a vinyl poster which advertised Myers’s “announcing career”. Morrissey escaped being power bombed through the table by the Major Players. The Major Players pinned Morrissey to the ring post, but Morrissey avoided being rammed by a table by the Major Players.

Morrissey gave a piece of the table a big boot, right into Myers. Cardona cowered to the stage. Jordynne Grace showed up to beat up Cardona at ringside. Morrissey gave Cardona a right hand punch which allowed Grace to give him a spinebuster. Morrissey and Grace teamed up with Grace power bombing Cardona through a table in the corner while Morrissey gave Cardona a big boot at the same time. Chelsea Green wanted to check on Cardona, but ended up being chased to the back by Jordynne Grace. Meanwhile, Myers jabbed Morrissey with half a table into Morrissey’s gut.

Myers hit Morrissey several times with the half table. Myers yelled “Get up, Bitch!”. Myers set up for the Roster Cut, but ran right into an East River Crossing by Morrissey. The crowd chanted “Table”. Morrissey gave the crowd what they wanted and gave Myers a Jackknife Powerbomb through the table set up at ringside.

W Morrissey defeated Brian Myers in a Tables Match in 10:42.

Morrissey gave fist bumps to the older fans and kids at ringside…

John’s Thoughts: That match was a whole lot of fun. Jordynne Grace is still very underwhelming as a character, but she served her role well as the equalizer in this match to make sure that Cardona and Myers didn’t get destroyed two-on-one situation. Cardona and Myers are fine coming out of this because of their personalities and talent. Morrissey comes out of today better than last night against Wardlow. The guy’s transformation has been amazing and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has AEW or WWE trying to get him back. At the same time, Impact has a awesome big man babyface on their hands if he sticks around for a bit.

Gia Miller interviewed Willie Mack and Rich Swann about wrestling Chris Bey and Jay White later in the show. Mack said that he and Swann have more beef with Gallows and Anderson, but they’re fine taking down any two members of Bullet Club. Matt Cardona, with Matt Cardona, barged in saying that someone needs to help Brian Myers, who’s hurting. Rich Swann mocked Matt Cardona for always calling himself “Alwayz Ready”. Cardona said that if Swann had a better attitude, maybe he’d still be a World Champion, “Like Me!”. Swann said Cardona better put his money where his mouth is because he’d take that title from Cardona. Cardona dragged Myers away, continuing to ask for people to help Myers.

John’s Thoughts: As much of a dud as the Digital Media Championship is, Cardona’s right and Swann has been way too complacent after losing the world title. Swann vs. Cardona should be a great match if given time. I just don’t like that it’s involving Impact’s version of the 24/7 title (in terms of importance), the Digital Media Championship. Well, at least Cardona’s very tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic, and ironic about his toy belt.

Tom Hannifan and Matt Rehwoldt checked in from the commentary table. They ran through both upcoming segments and the advertised matches for this week’s Under Siege Impact Plus show. Rehwoldt didn’t wanna talk about Deonna Purrazzo’s advertised match because he was distraught due to Purrazzo losing the Ring of Honor Women’s Championship on AEW the previous night…

Entranaces for the next match took place. Rehwoldt noted that Ace Austin will be competing in New Japan’s Best of the Super Juniors tournament. Hannifan noted that Trey Miguel is waiting in the wings for his contractually obligated rematch…

2. Ace Austin vs. Rocky Romero for the Impact X Division Championship. Ace and Rocky started the match with methodical chain wrestling. Rocky gave Ace chops in the corner. Rocky took down Ace with a side headlock. Rocky gave Ace a hip toss and shotgun dropkick. Ace took down Romero with handstand kicks. Rocky came back with feint kicks. Rocky hit Ace with some Forever Clotheslines. Ace dodged and hit Romero with a disaster kick heading into commercial.[c]

Ace worked on Rocky with methodical offense. Rocky managed to get a moment of respite after hitting Ace with a Suicide Dive. Ace tried to slingshot at ringside, but Rocky caught him with a European Uppercut. Ace caught Rocky with a handstand right into a PK from the apron. Rocky beat the 10 count. Rocky pulled the top rope down to dump Ace to ringside. Rocky hit Ace with a Dragonrana at ringside. Rehwoldt pointed out and the replay showed that Rocky got the worst of the move by not being able to slap the ground and hitting his spine on the ringside mat before the Dragonrana.

Rocky caught Ace with a Tornado DDT in the ring for a two count. Rocky hit Ace with Sliced Bread #2 for a two count. Ace avoided a draping stomp. Ace went for another Disaster Kick but Rocky caught the kick and put Ace in a Half Crab. Ace got to the bottom rope for a rope break. Ace caught Rocky with a short-arm and savate kick. Ace then hit Rocky with the Fold for the clean pin.

Ace Austin defeated Rocky Romero via pinfall in 7:30 of on-air time to retain the Impact X Division Championship.

Trey Miguel sprinted to the ring and brawled with Ace. Trey sent Ace to ringside with a Shotgun Dropkick. Trey said that Ace should keep the belt warm for him. Trey said he’s cashing in his rematch at Under Siege and will walk out of the show as a 2 time X Division Championship.

John’s Thoughts: A good match for Ace coming out of his latest title win. Rocky Romero never wins whenever he’s visiting another promotion, but at least he can lead whatever opponent he’s going to put over to a nice match. I think Ace gained a bit of credibility here picking up the clean win. A majority of Ace’s wins over the past few years have involved a bunch of interference from Madman Fulton, so it’s a credibility booster to have him win cleanly by himself.

Gia Miller interviewed Josh Alexander about his upcoming match at Under Siege against Tomohiro Ishii. Alexander talked about being interviewed by Gia as X Division Champion, saying that he’d be the face of the company. Alexander said he is the face of the company today as world champion. He said he’s going to be the standard, ironman, and walking weapon. He said he got Ishii’s message loud and clear. He said he’s going to watch why Ishii is a legend when Ishii wrestles Steve Maclin. Alexander said he’s going to show Ishii why the man holding the Impact World Championship is the best wrestler in the world…[c]

The 70s/Tarintino style movie theater vignette aired for a mystery wrestler. Random binary code flashed on the screen. The letters EGV along with random numbers also flashed on the screen (most fans are assuming this is Sami Callihan after they translated the Binary Code as “Sami”. Heck, it isn’t going to be Sami Zayn)…

Masha Slammovich made her entrance for the next match…

2. Masha Slammovich vs. Damaris. Masha no-sold Damaris’s punches and gave Damaris a Belly to Belly. Masha gave Damaris a Snow Plow for the quick win.

Masha Slammovich defeated Damaris via pinfall in 0:52.

Masha intimidated the referee to ringside…

John’s Thoughts: Impact continues to show patience with Masha Slammovich, which I applaud. Some people may say that they should move on to the next step, but we see too many times in pro wrestling where they feel the need to strike when the iron is hot, but end up striking too early. I’m looking forward to Masha’s first feud once they get her out of the squash matches, but if they don’t have a feud planned out, just have her plow through people. One thing to note, they have removed references to Russia from Masha’s gear, video wall, and moveset. Understandably so given the current Geo-political landscape.

The show cut to backstage where Raj Singh and Mahabali Shera were. Raj cut a promo hyping up Mahabali Shera for his upcoming feud against Bhupinder Gujjar. Shera said “Bhupinder! I am the lion of this jungle. Rawarrrrrrr!”…

An ad aired for Impact Slammiversary 2022. The ad focused on old TNA footage…

Mark and Jay Briscoe cut a promo about their upcoming match against Violent By Design at Under Siege. Their promo was cut off by video interference by Eric Young, Joe Doering, and Deaner. Young cut one of his usual VBD/Sanity promos to hype their title defense on Saturday…

Entrances for the next tag team match took place…

John’s Thoughts: Not a fan of the “Bey and Jay Connection” generic name. Me from 15 years ago is a huge fan of the fan name that has circulated on social media for these two: “BeyBlade”. In honor of the spinning top hobby a bunch of us had as teenagers, here’s a video of Colt Cabana and Grado wrestling like they are Beyblades.

4. “Bullet Club” Chris Bey and Jay White vs. Rich Swann and Willie Mack. Swann and Mack had the early advantage. Mack hit Jay with a flapjack bulldog for a two count. Mack got another two count off a neckbreaker. Mack and Swann traded tags to cut the ring in half on White. Bey caught Swann in the back with a knee. Bey and Jay swarmed Swann with tandem kicks. Bey got a few cheap shots in when Jay distracted the ref. Bey tagged in and dumped Swann to ringside to eat a few cheap shots from Jay.

Bey and Jay cut the ring in half on Swann, also making sure to knock Mack off the apron. Swann managed to get a window of opportunity for the tag after nailing Jay with an enzuigiri. Mack got the hot tag and Bey also tagged in. Hannifan noted that Bey and Mack are former X Division Champions. Mack managed to take down both opponents with a double lariat. Mack hit Bey with his signature Samoan Drop-Moonsault combo with Swann tossing in a standing frog splash to give Mack a two count.

Each wrestler took turns hitting signature moves on each other. Mack countered a rolling cutter into a uranage. Jay hit Mack with a Half and Half Suplex. Bey hit Mack with a springboard cutter for the win.

Bullet Club defeated Willie Mack and Rich Swann via pinfall in 6:35 of on-air time.

Eddie Edwards, Matt Taven, Mike Bennett, and Kenny King ran out to put the boots to White and Bey. Maria Kanellis was at ringside. Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson ran out to even up the odds. Bullet Club got the upper hand, and dumped Honor No More to ringside. A Matthew Rehwoldt post-edit voiceover cut in where Rehwoldt gave the viewers some out-of-context updates of some New Japan storylines (extremely out of context, because Rehwoldt was just throwing names like Okada or Tanahashi out there with no context)…

John’s Thoughts: Chris Bey and Jay White have really meshed well as a tag team and have sorta wiped away the disappointment of not seeing White work as a singles wrestler in Impact. Bey is finally starting to look good in Bullet Club, as opposed to the guy who’s trying to hang out with the cool kids (who just think they’re cool) while also eating their losses. Uhm, are these guys heels or babyfaces? Last week they were playing to the crowd against the heels Honor No More. Now they’re cheating and everything on the face Mack and Swann team.

Impact Knockouts Champion Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans were wandering backstage. Suddenly some random creepy stock pictures flashed on the screen and the screen changed into a purple and green tint. Impact’s needless generic music started playing in the background for no reason. My guess is they were “teleported” to the Undead Realm (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!).

Evans and Steelz were trapped in the hallway because all the doors were locked. Evans and Steelz ran away when Crazzy Steve emerged from one of the doors. Evans was then sucked and trapped in one of the doors by Rosemary, who pulled Evans to the ground. Havok teleported behind Tasha and gave Tasha a boo scare. Tasha ran away. Havok and Steve gave menacing laughs (ugh)…[c]

John’s Thoughts: Booooooooo! Booooooo! Why!?! I thought I was done with this. I also have to deal with and review stupid Wendy Choo cinematics on Tuesdays too. If you’re reading my review before watching the show, do yourself a favor and fast forward 5 minutes to the commercial after the Bullet Club match. Trust me, the rest of Impact is a great wrestling show. Ugh… Teleporting… Please don’t tell me Sami Callihan is coming back as a teleporting hacker wizard? Someone also needs to tell Impact that when the teleporting looks like a basic camera cut, the effect comes off as low budget.

A promo video aired to hype the Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie Reina De Reinas title match at Under Siege. Both women talked about how they’re going to win the match. Taya noted that this is a rubber match between both women with Deonna breaking Taya’s arm when she left Impact and Taya beating Deonna when she returned…

Entrances for the next match took place…

5. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Steve Maclin. Ishii and Maclin no-sold each others’ shoulder tackles. Maclin and Ishii had a strong style forearm exchange in the center of the ring. Ishii got the first shoulder tackle takedown. Ishii hit Maclin with a power slam heading into commercial.[c]

Maclin planted Ishii with a Rock Bottom for a two count. Maclin worked on Ishii with methodical offense. This lasted for a few minutes. Ishii managed to send Maclin into the corner and chop Maclin’s chest into hamburger meat. Ishii hit Maclin with a chest tackle. Maclin came back with an Angle Slam for a two count. Maclin put Ishii in a Boston Crab. Ishii got to the bottom rope for the rope break. Ishii no sold Maclin’s punches and gave Maclin a German Suplex.

Maclin ducked an enzuigiri and gave Ishii a German Suplex for a two count. Both men blocked suplexes from each other. Ishiii gave Maclin a headbutt and turned him inside out with a lariat. Ishii hit Maclin with a brainbuster for the win.

Tomohiro Ishii defeated Steve Maclin via pinfall in 9:40 of on-air time.

John’s Thoughts: Maclin is teflon as a wrestler. The guy loses a handful of matches, yet after his reinvention from Steve Cutler, the guy always bounces back. That said, even Teflon wears down if enough scratches are put into it. Hopefully Impact doesn’t overdo it with Maclin’s losses and eventually they move on to pushing him. Ishii looks good as usual, that said Impact probably should have done a vignette or two to tell viewers what to expect from the Strong Style wrestler. NXT handles their Japanese wrestlers well in this sense by having them cut promos in their natural language with subtitles added. Again, this is another example of a wrestling company throwing a guest wrestler out there with no context and expecting the viewer to accept this random stranger.

The show cut to this week’s Swinger’s Dungeon skit with Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice. Dice still things this is a BDSM club while Swinger thinks its a wrestling school. Swinger said that Dice needs to be more dominant. Dice said he was going to dive in head first. Swinger said Dice needs a “finisher”. Dice asked if Swinger can give him a hand and help him “finish”. Swinger said he can give Dice the single leg, the Boston, and the double hook. Swinger said that Dice was being too chatty. Swinger put a gag ball on Dice. A few girls passed by Dice with torture whips and he got excited…[c]

Tom Hannifan and Matt Rehwoldt checked in from the commentary table and ran through the advertised Under Siege card. Rehwoldt hyped up Okada vs. Zack Sabre on the New Japan AXS show…

The show cut to shots backstage where Jonah and PCO were summoned from their locker rooms. Jonah gave PCO an axe handle strike to presumably start the match. Hannifan noted that the decision has to happen in the ring. Hannifan reminded viewers that PCO was “reanimated” by Vincent…

6. Jonah vs. PCO in a Monster’s Ball Match. Jonah tossed PCO into some random equipment backstage. PCO recovered and the two brawled to a stair area. PCO and Jonah eventually brawled to the stage. The crowd started to chant “he’s not human” for PCO. Jonah gave PCO a vertical suplex on the ramp heading into commercial.[c]

Jonah dominated PCO with weapons in the ring. The ring was littered with chairs, cookie sheets, and trash cans. There was also a ladder. PCO made a comeback by giving Jonah a Frankensteiner onto 5 chairs set up in the ring. Jonah rolled to ringside to pull a sledgehammer from under the ring. Jonah hit PCO with the Sledgehammer. Jonah hit PCO with a rolling dive while PCO was sitting on a chair. Jonah set up a ladder against the corner. Jonah gave PCO an X Plex onto the ladder. Jonah gave PCO a headbutt to prevent from being shoved into a table at ringside.

PCO gave Jonah a DDT onto a trash can which Jonah no-sold. PCO gave Jonah a Cannonball Tope. PCO gave Jonah a top rope Cannonball on the apron. PCO gave Jonah a top rope leg drop. PCO set up a chair in the corner and tossed Jonah into it. PCO set up tables with the spines against each other. Jonah recovered and tossed PCO’s spine into the spine of the chairs. Jonah gave PCO a lariat for a two count. Jonah said “Die PCO!”. Jonah dumped Thumbtacks in the center of the ring. Jonah power bombed PCO into the tacks.

PCO kicked out at two. PCO got up and staggered Jonah on the top rope. Jonah used a punch to block a sledge hammer strike. PCO jabbed the hammer into Jonah’s gut to drop Jonah into a table at ringside. PCO hit Jonah with a PCO-sault for the win.

PCO defeated Jonah via pinfall in 14:35 of on-air time.

Hannifan hyped up Impact Plus’s Under Siege event to close the show…

John’s Thoughts: A bit too plodding and contrived for my taste, but it wasn’t the worst match. I think it wasn’t the best idea to have this match happen right after the more dynamic Ishii vs. Maclin brawl. That said, it wasn’t bad. I’m grateful that Abyss doesn’t wrestle in these matches anymore because his Monster’s Ball matches were just so formulaic. I did roll my eyes though at the thumbtacks, but the live fans always like it so I shouldn’t complain. I do like PCO getting a win in Impact finally. Jonah can shrug off the loss and PCO is a monster, so the guy needs at least some wins.

Part of what took this match down for me was Doc Gallows and Joe Doering having a way better hardcore match against each other from a few weeks ago. There they just had a brutal big man fight as opposed to taking the time to set up random weapon spots at set intervals. As for the show, Impact continues to deliver a really good weekly wrestling product. Do yourself a favor though. Fast forward through the unproductive and campy Tasha Steelz Undead Realm segment that felt out of place on a otherwise solid show. I really hope that Sami Callihan isn’t coming back as a teleporting hacker wizard again (Believe it or not, Sami’s worst gimmick was his stupid Zombie Callihan gimmick from Lucha Underground. Best part about that gimmick was Thunder Rosa showing her good talking skills as the manager of him and Luchasaurus).

 

 

 


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