By John Moore
Lucha Underground TV
Taped Early 2016 in Los Angeles, California
In this week’s teaser intro, Pentagon Dark was breaking arms. Dragon Azteca Jr beating Chavo Guerrero Jr. for the opportunity to face Pentagon Dark was spotlighted. Mascarita Sagrada being betrayed by Famous B and his new found partnership with Son of Havoc was shown. Dario Cueto also booked Jack Evans vs. Sexy Star against Johnny Mundo’s wishes. This week’s episode was titled “The Open Road to Revenge”…
Dragon Azteca Jr. was staring at a Chavo Guerrero Sr. (Chavo Classic) vs Dragon Azteca Sr. advertisement. Azteca Jr. said he was going to fight with honor tonight even though his opponent doesn’t. Chavo Jr walked in and said Azteca won’t fight at all. Azteca was beaten up by a chair. Chavo said Pentagon Dark tried to end his career and he’d be damned if some punk kid steals his chance for revenge. They did some strange first person effect to signify that Azteca’s head was beaten by the chair (well, better that bad effect than actual chairshots to the head). Chavo said his dad beat Azteca’s ass that night, in the advertisement. Chavo walked past Rey in the locker room. Rey found Azteca Jr. beaten up against the lockers. Rey called for help and wondered if it was Pentagon. Rey then yelled “Chavooooooooooooo!” in a really cheesy way…
John’s Thoughts: For some reason, that segment made me want to see Chavo Classic in Lucha Underground. If only because his name is Chavo Classic. That was a decent segment albeit a bit cheesy especially with Rey trying to channel his inner Captain Kirk. That was strange, and hilarious at the same time!
Matt Striker and Vampiro checked in from The Temple. There was a new band tonight called Slapbak which means we were in a different day of tapings. Matt Striker said tonight’s main event was Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark. Vampiro said another Ultima Lucha Dos revenge match was happening as well and that was next. Dr. Wagner Jr. and Famous B were tag teaming tonight. They were facing Son of Havoc and Mascarita Sagrada who drove in a motorcycle into the arena. Sagrada was in the sidecar. Sagrada gave B the finger. Brenda called Sagrada a naughty baby…
1. Famous B and Dr. Wagner Jr. (w/ The Beautiful Brenda) vs. Son of Havoc and Mascarita Sagrada. Sagrada and Havoc managed to hit a tope on both opponents to start off the match while Brenda was standing in the middle of the ring wondering what was happening. Famous B was wrestling in his white suit. Sagrada paired off with Wagner while B faced Havoc. Sagrada was popped in the air by Wagner which allowed him to huracanrana Famous B. Havoc and Wagner faced in the middle of the ring. Havoc was caught midair and rolled up Wagner for the two count.
Striker reminded us that Havoc’s issues with Wagner which stemmed from Wagner taking away his Ultima Lucha Tres main event from him in exchange for a cash prize. Sagrada tagged in and hit Wagner with a shoulder block. Striker kept pointing out in many ways how Sagrada was short. Sagrada hit huracanrana on Wagner. Wagner grounded Sagrada with a boot to the face. Brenda told Wagner to “put baby in the corner”. Wagner hit Sagrada with a sitout powerbomb which earned him a nearfall. Famous B tagged in and kicked Sagrada several times. The crowd chanted 423-You-Suck. Wagner tagged in and kicked Sagrada in the shin. They kept Brenda mic’d up.
Sagrada rolled away from Wagner and tagged in Havoc. Havoc hit Wagner with a jumping pump kick. Havoc followed up with an elbow and a few of his signature spots. Famous B broke up the pin attempt. Striker constantly pointed out how Famous B never won a match in Lucha Underground. Havoc pushed down Wagner and isolated B. Sagrada made a rally against Famous B. Wagner recovered and they took out Havoc from the equation. Wagner planted Sagrada with a Michinoku Driver. Famous B tagged in and pinned Sagrada with his stethoscope…
Famous B and Dr. Wagner Jr. defeated Son of Havoc and Mascarita Sagrada via pinfall in 5:30.
Striker said the streak was broken and Famous B won his first match. B and Brenda held up the hands of Wagner. Striker hyped Sexy Star facing Jack Evans in a title match was happening later while Dragon Azteca would face Pentagon Dark in the main event… [C]
John’s Thoughts: Striker’s commentary sunk back into bad mode in this match because he kept making needless short people references while also not being very subtle about this match leading to Famous B’s first win. He should have thrown out that factoid after the match as opposed to the not-so-subtle foreshadowing. As for the match, it was okay and not the final chapter in this feud obviously. It also gives Son of Havoc something to do which is always a good thing. It’s better than forgetting about him like they did last season. On another note, I actually get a kick out of Mascarita Sagrada essentially being a Lucha version of Mini-Me from Austin Powers.
The “Follow the White Rabbit” vignette played. This is of course teasing a certain former WWE Tag Team Champion who used to team with “The Man with the Plan” who wrestles on Raw these days. They are teasing that he’s bringing friends and that he’s doing an Alice in Wonderland gimmick…
Matt Striker said that Dragon Azteca Jr. was injured and more news would be given later on. Striker announced that next week Matanza Cueto would be defending his championship via the Dial of Doom again. Striker also said we were getting a Ultima Lucha rematch with Prince Puma facing Mil Muertes. Striker passed it over to Melissa Santos to introduce the competitors for the Gift of the Gods Championship match. Jack Evans was talking again (as opposed to him being mute in past weeks). Sexy Star came out in her space princess costume which was actually pretty good (as opposed to Dragon Azteca Jr’s who’s pre-match gear sucks)… [C]
Jack Evans yelled and wanted a microphone immediately. Jack Evans cut a promo on Sexy Star. He said he was a fair man and a fair warning was this was not the last match of Sexy Star’s night but rather the last night she will ever take flight. Evans said Melissa won’t announce him as the Dragon Slayer, but rather as the Star Destroyer.
2. Sexy Star vs. Jack Evans for the Gift of the Gods Championship. Evans ducked away from Sexy Star at the beginning. He told her to wait but she pummeled him in the corner. Jack Evans hit Sexy Star with a rotating single leg dropkick. Sexy Star fought back with a slap to the chest. Evans missed the corner splash and hit Evans with an armdrag. Once Jack was outside, Sexy Star grounded Evans with a seated Senton. Sexy Star tossed around Evans and Evans sold like a champ. Jack flapjacked Sexy Star against the turnbuckle.
Evans asked Sexy Star who was the best luchador in all of the world (in Spanish). He moved her mouth to the words Jack Evans. Sexy Star eventually fought back with a kick and huracanrana. Evans gained the upper hand again with consecutive knees to Sexy Star. Evans grinded Sexy Star’s head into the turnbuckle. Evans put thumbs in Star’s eyes which caused the ref to pull them apart. Sexy Star turned the tables and poked his eyes. Sexy Star hit some high impact bronco busters.
Sexy Star had Evans in the Gory Special and slammed his knees into the ground. Sexy Star ran right into the boot of Jack Evans who went to the top rope. Evans hit Star with a blockbuster on Sexy Star. After a pin attempt Evans went to the second rope. Sexy Star recovered and sent him to the outside. Sexy Star hit Evans with a crossbody. PJ Black jumped in and ran in for the distraction. Johnny Mundo gave Sexy Star a spear and hid under the ground. Sexy Star kicked out at two in the ring. Johnny Mundo hid under the ring but escaped after hearing Evans only get a two count. AeroStar and Drago ran in to take Mundo and Black out of the picture.
Jack Evans tried to steal a win with his feet on the ropes but Rick Knox caught it. Fenix ran in to distract the referee. Sexy Star grabbed the kendo stick that PJ Black was using and hit Evans in the balls. Sexy Star hit Jack Evans with the Paige Turner for the victory…
Sexy Star defeated Jack Evans via pinfall in 9:14 to retain the Gift of the Gods Championship.
Mundo had a look of anger as Sexy Star staggered to her feet with the help of Fenix. Striker hyped the Azteca vs. Dark main event for tonight (even though he was given an injury report before the match)… [C]
John’s Thoughts: Remember when Sexy Star was actually a bad wrestler? I don’t since one of the good things about Season 2 was the emergence of Sexy Star as a really good worker in the ring. She doesn’t do anything flashy but she improved a lot in the short timespan between season 1 and 2 in working the North American psychology style. Evans and Star put together a good nine minute match that told a decent story. The cheating from the babyfaces was okay too as the Worldwide Underground usually cheat at higher levels. This was just another chapter in this “Atomicos” feud, but it did a good job at developing it while not giving too much away.
Dario Cueto talked to the doctors and was told that Dragon Azteca Jr. will not come out of the hospital tonight. Chavo got this news from Dario in his office. Dario said he has no choice but to put Chavo in the main event. Rey Mysterio walked in and called Chavo a piece of shit. He said Dario Cueto had a new main event and that was Rey vs. Chavo. Rey said that Chavo sent Dragon Azteca Jr to the hospital and he was going to do the same to Chavo. Chavo said that Rey must have some balls to come in here and accuse Chavo of doing such a thing. Chavo tried to get a cheap shot on Rey but was beat up by Rey Mysterio kung fu. Chavo got a shot in after Rey was distracted by Dario Cueto aweing the violence. Dario said we were going to get our churro and eat it too (clever!).
Dario said that Chavo would get a chance for revenge against Pentagon while Rey would get a chance for revenge against Chavo because there was going to be a three way match. Dario said if all goes to plan someone would be joining Azteca in the ER. They all walked out as Dario Cueto grabbed a mic to give an announcement…
Pentagon Dark entered the ring to a strong reaction. Dario Cueto emerged from his office and said that Dragon Azteca had an unexpected trip to the hospital. Dario said his plan B was to make this match a three way. He called over Melissa Santos to whisper the match change to her… [C]
Melissa Santos introduced Rey and Chavo who were facing Pentagon Dark in the main event.
3. Pentagon Dark vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. Pentagon and Chavo had a shoving match early on. Rey took down both of them with huracanranas. Rey flipped and ate a Pentagon kick to the face. Chavo dominated Pentagon and stomped him to the ground. Rey rolled around Pentagon and hit a headscissors on him. Rey then did a corkscrew plancha on Pentagon and Chavo. Rey hit the seated senton on Pentagon and a crossbody to lead to a nearfall. Chavo grabbed a chair. Chavo tripped Rey to the outside. Striker pointed out how triple threats were no-DQ.
Rey was tossed aside for Pentagon could dominated Chavo a bit. Pentagon then gave some kicks to Rey. Rey took the action back to the ring. Pentagon punted Rey’s calf which he sold well with a flip. Pentagon rallied the crowd and put a chair in the corner. Chavo drop-toe-held Pentagon into the chair and Rey went for the rollup. Matt Striker talked about Chavo defeating Rey for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship and Rey defeating “Chavo Classic” for the championship soon after that.
John’s Thoughts: As much as I get annoyed at Striker’s commentary sometimes and that was a random tangent to WWE history, I’m a huge fan of “Chavo Classic” references. Come on! The guy’s name was Chavo Classic! It’s like how New Coke sucked (Chavo) and Coke Classic (Chavo Classic) was the OG best!
Striker said the WWE Cruiserweight Championship was retired in 2007. Vampiro talked about Rey’s relatives and Chavo Classic fighting in Mexico. Chavo dominated with some low roundhouse kicks. Rey came back with a front kick and enziguri. Pentagon kicked Chavo to the ground. Pentagon dropkicked Rey to the outside. Chavo came back with a dropkick and running senton bump. Matt Striker called Chavo the “Swagger Soaring Eagle”….
John’s Thoughts: Again pointless factoids, but my personal favorite Chavo gimmick was the Jack Swagger Soaring Eagle! Who would have thought that we would get a Jack Swagger reference on Lucha Underground.
Pentagon hit Chavo with a front lungblower. Chavo recovered and hit the three amigos in honor of Eddie Guerrero. Rey gave Chavo a headscissors to the outside. Pentagon countered Rey into a powerbomb for a nearfall. Rey came back with a kick and set up Rey and Pentagon for the 619. Chavo took the 619 by himself. Chavo crotched Rey on the top rope. Pentagon Dark kicked Chavo away and gave Rey the Package Piledriver to earn himself the pinfall victory over Rey Mysterio…
Pentagon Dark defeated Rey Mysterio Jr. and Chavo Guerrero Jr. via pinfall in 8:42.
Striker noted how Pentagon picked up the win with Chavo’s help. Pentagon tried to break Rey’s arm but he was tossed out with a huracanrana. Chavo ran in to push down Rey. Chavo tossed a (protected) chairshot to Rey. Chavo then slammed a chair on Rey’s left knee. Chavo put Rey in the tree of woe and slammed the chair into his knee again. Chavo hit Marty Elias with the chair and hit Rey’s knee. The credits ran as Chavo stood alone in the ring with a chair. There were no post-credits…
John’s Thoughts: This was another match that filled the allotted time very well. Chavo’s matches are hit and miss, but the guy has good chemistry with Rey dating back to his battles with Mysterio on Smackdown. They also protected Rey while also giving Pentagon Dark the huge win over their living legend. Good work all around and Striker gave two random facts which I actually dug even though some people wouldn’t appreciate it as much as me. Can Chavo just channel uncle Hector Guerrero and return to Lucha Underground next week wearing the Jack Swagger Soaring Eagle costume?
One huge flaw with Lucha Underground’s PR work this season is they are really not properly hyping this show to people outside of the Lucha Underground bubble. Eventually, it might escape that bubble like it did in season one, but they are not the new hotness these days. Broken Matt Hardy is the new hotness and while different he scratches the same itch that Lucha Underground used to with their different take on pro wrestling. I’ll have more to say in my audio review for the show coming up.