By Jason Powell
WrestleMania 32 Sunday is here. Thankfully, the atrocious build to this show is behind us and now we can focus entirely on the the event itself. The lineup is nothing like we imagined a year ago when we looked ahead to WWE’s attempt to fill the mammoth AT&T Stadium. They are not advertising John Cena, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, or Cesaro. Steve Austin said thanks but no thanks regarding a return to the ring. The Rock is going to electrify, which is code for “he’s not wrestling a main event match.” There are no major celebrities advertised (aside from Rock).
Instead, WrestleMania 32 has morphed into McMahonMania. Vince, his son, his daughter, and his son-in-law are all over the top two matches. I am mildly surprised that Linda isn’t challenging for the Divas Title, though there is still time to add her to the lineup.
Despite all of this, the WrestleMania brand is strong enough that WWE will break their own attendance record. In many ways, this feels like the biggest weekend in pro wrestling history. And now that we can put the lackluster build behind us, I find myself excited to see how it all unfolds. Vince McMahon teased surprises when he was interviewed by Brian Fritz for the OrlandoSentinel.com.
Will there be more surprises than the expected appearances of Austin, Cena, and Shawn Michaels? I hope so. I want this to be a WrestleMania to remember and not just because of the attendance number. I want something special. More than anything, I want a major shakeup in the creative direction coming out of WrestleMania weekend. Thus, let’s start with the match that is key to change occurring.
Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon in a Hell in a Cell match: I want this to be Undertaker’s final WrestleMania. There, I said it. And it’s not because I have tired of The Deadman. Rather, it’s because I desperately want the Shane character to take storyline control of Raw and give viewers a break from the tired heel authority silliness. I want Triple H and Stephanie McMahon to go away. I want Vince to take several Stone Cold Stunners from Austin. I want Taker to give Vince multiple Tombstone piledrivers. Hunter, Steph, and Vince are great performers, but their heel authority figure personas have overstayed their welcome.
The funny thing is that Shane doesn’t actually have to win this match if you really think about it. Remember the lockbox? Shane’s character has something on his father. It was idiotic booking to have his character agree to work a match when he had the leverage. It’s like finding out that your buddy’s girlfriend cheated on him, and she tells you that you have to win a fight if you want to tell your buddy that she cheated, and you agree for no reason. What?!? Technically, Shane could lose this match, show up on Raw, and tell Vince that he’s taking control of the show or he’s revealing what the lockbox contains. This won’t happen, but it shows just how ludicrous the storytelling has been.
Many fans have said that Taker’s character could lose the match and still work future WrestleMania events because Shane will have the power to give him that right once he takes control. Shane would take control of Raw, not all of WWE. Apparently, no one wants that piece of shit Smackdown show. Shane doesn’t want it. Vince said he’ll be put out to the pasture. Hunter and Stephanie would apparently rather quit than suffer the indignity of controlling Smackdown. It’s absurd. And because the writing is so bad and because WWE has blown off so many of their own stipulations, those fans may actually be right about Shane paving the way for Taker. It makes no storyline sense for Shane to remove the stipulation, but nothing about this storyline makes sense, so I can’t rule out anything.
Ultimately, this is the match that I’m looking forward to most. The thought of middle aged CEO father of three Shane facing the mighty Undertaker is ridiculous. It’s too big of a leap for some of you, and I can’t blame you. However, you need to accept that the masses have bought into the spectacle of this match. I can’t even imagine how lackluster WrestleMania would feel if Shane had not returned. Shane vs. Taker is the sizzle this WrestleMania so desperately needed. And I am among those who can accept Shane as an opponent for Taker if he is positioned properly. The good Shane character has heart. He takes a beating and keeps coming back for more. He jumps from high places and crashes and burns. Bad Shane is an in-ring equal to Taker, and that’s just too much of a stretch for me.
This is so easy to book. Taker should beat the ever living piss out of Shane. Eventually, Shane dodges a charging Taker, causing Taker to run into the ring post or crash through a table or anything else that will give us a reason that explains why Shane is able to be on the offensive. It took Brock Lensar running into the post last year for Roman Reigns to go on the offensive, so they better have something similar in mind rather than sell us on the idea that Super Shane is a Wrestling God. If they follow the approach that I laid out and have the usual Shane stunts, then this should be a memorable match. It will get all bells and whistles. I could see Austin interfering. I could see Balor Club interfering. Heck, I could see Kurt Angle interfering given his history with Shane. It’s a spectacle match and I completely expect it to feel that way when all is said and done.
As for the outcome, it may very well be as simple as Taker goes over clean and Shane goes away. However, I desperately want that shakeup. I want the change that the Shane character represents even if they did stop selling us on that late in the build. I can’t even imagine suffering through a gloating Vince and Stephanie promo on Monday. I worry that we get the dreadful Linda McMahon promo with her siding with Shane, which leads to a brand split, and Shane takes control of the show that he didn’t even want in the first place. Make it simple. Give me Shane going over. Let Taker have his retirement match, which may have originally been planned for this show, with John Cena at SummerSlam instead. Yep, I’m picking with my heart rather than my brain. I’m going with Cena to help Shane somehow because his character is doing what he feels is best for WWE. It’s true to Cena’s character and sets up his Taker match perfectly. God help us all if Shane wins only to turn heel.
Shane McMahon wins.
Triple H vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Will this match close the show? Honestly, I don’t care. They know the finishes they have planned. It’s impossible to say until the show plays out whether they made the right call. Could we see Seth Rollins? Does WWE feel like him turning on Hunter and helping Reigns is enough to make the WrestleMania crowd happy if Roman is standing tall with the title belt? Would it require Dean Ambrose getting involved for the full reunion of The Shield? Would the Mania crowd boo Reigns if the show closed with the three members of The Shield bumping fists? Lord knows The Rock’s endorsement wasn’t enough at the Royal Rumble last year.
Speaking of The Rock, I want him to play a key role in the Roman Reigns heel turn. Vince McMahon needs to stop lying to himself. Maybe he can use enough smoke and mirrors to get through this show without all out anarchy if Reigns wins as a babyface, but that doesn’t mean Roman is suddenly going to be over at the level Vince wants him to be. Rock laid it out well recently when he talked about his character’s heel turn. Call me crazy, but Rock has had a little success as a babyface since then. I believe Reigns can eventually be successful as a babyface, but I also believe he needs a heel run first. So how about Roman does something heelish only to have Rock confront him after the match or on Monday? Rock eats a spear, and Roman’s heel turn is off to a flying start. One way or another, I suspect Roman ends the night as your new champion.
Roman Reigns wins the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose in a Street Fight: Did Finn Balor steal the chainsaw that Terry Funk gave him or is that still in play? I can’t say that I’m fired up about this match. There’s nothing really at stake and it feels like a letdown match for Lesnar. Nevertheless, I expect these two to have a hell of a brawl. Lesnar rarely disappoints. He also shouldn’t lose here even if he is taking time away after WrestleMania (and I have no idea whether he is). Ambrose can put up a hell of a fight and lose the match while gaining the respect of the crowd. Just tell me this isn’t going to end because the Wyatt Family interfere and we get Lesnar and Ambrose fighting side by side.
Brock Lesnar wins.
Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks in a Triple Threat for the Divas Championship: Here’s hoping this is the last time we have to talk about a Divas match. Snoop Dogg did more to put over Sasha at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony than creative has done since she arrived on the main roster. The WrestleMania crowd knows and loves these women from NXT. Yes, they booed Charlotte at the Hall of Fame ceremony, but that’s a good thing. She’s the heel. She should have embraced that reaction and played into it. The build to this match was all about her. Thus, I hope she’s winning here. I dig Sasha and Becky as much as the next guy, but they haven’t told their stories properly or in a way that left me feeling like this is the right time for their characters to win the title. However, I fear that they won’t be able to resist the urge of putting over Sasha, who is sure to be over huge with the WrestleMania crowd. And it could be a hell of a launching pad for her character to win on this stage, but I still don’t even know if creative wants us to like or dislike her character. Either way, I’m looking forward to this match.
Charlotte retains.
Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Sin Cara vs. The Miz vs. Stardust in a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title: I have no desire to see anyone other than Owens win this match. I love Sami, but much like the challenger in the women’s title match, they haven’t told his story well enough to justify a win here. And much like Sasha, he is so over with the WrestleMania crowd that I worry they could rush into him winning the title. I want Sami’s story to be told in a way that takes fans on a journey and culminates with him winning the title after a long chase. Everyone else in the match feels like pretenders or very short-term champions on the off chance that they do a title change just to do a title change.
Kevin Owens retains the Intercontinental Title.
AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho: This should be a lot of fun. We finally have Jericho slotted as a heel, giving us the traditional babyface vs. heel dynamic for the first time in this feud. Sure, they could drag this out longer by having Jericho go over somehow to delay Styles eventually winning the feud at Payback or Extreme Rules. Ultimately, thought, I think they want to give Styles a big win on the big stage.
AJ Styles wins.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Do I have to pretend like I care? I’m happy this match exists to get everyone on the show. I wish I cared about the outcome, but it’s so hard when nothing came from Cesaro winning the first year or Big Show winning last year. I hope we see the Wyatts here rather than in the Lesnar vs. Ambrose match. Yes, even if that means Braun Strowman winning. It would be nice to see Cesaro win in a surprise return, but it’s not like I’m going to be excited for a big potential push just because he won The Dre again. Heck, if you dislike Strowman, cheer for him in this match since winning The Dre hasn’t done anything for the previous winners. I’m going with the long shot that shows Vince McMahon has a heart.
Titus O’Neil makes a surprise return and wins The Dre.
New Day vs. League of Nations for the WWE Tag Team Championship: Give us the crazy New Day entrance. Let me point out again, Rusev was at his majestic peak at this time last year. He had Lana. He had marching Russian soldiers. Hell, he had a tank! And then he lost to John Cena. And then countless people said it was okay because he got rub just from working with Cena. You know, just like Bray Wyatt did. It’s not Cena’s fault that Vince doesn’t bother to think about what’s next for his heel characters once Cena beats them, but it sure is unfortunate and foolish. Apparently, the tag titles are not on the line despite this being advertised as a tag title match at one point. New Day will be over huge with the WrestleMania crowd if the WWE Hall of Fame is any indication.
New Day win.
Kalisto vs. Ryback for the U.S. Championship: Flip a coin. I can’t say I feel strongly about this one. I guess I lean Kalisto because this match will open the show and they usually like to start things off on a positive note. John Cena raised the prestige of the title. Kalisto hasn’t been allowed to carry on the open challenge and the prestige is gone.
Heads, Kalisto wins.
The Usos vs. The Dudley Boyz: They have obviously been building up to the The Dudleys being put through tables. I suspect it happens here and I’m going with the Usos, but it’s also possible that they give the Dudleys win tonight and then have them lose a tables match on Raw.
The Usos win.
Brie Bella, Eva Marie, Paige, Natalya, and Alicia Fox vs. Naomi, Tamina, Lana, Summer Rae, and Emma in a 10-Diva tag match: Thank you, WWE, for the gift that will be the WrestleMania crowd’s reaction to Eva Marie. Does she turn on her team and cost them the match? It’s nothing against the hard working ladies, but the only way I could possibly care less about the outcome of this match is if it somehow involved Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna.
Brie Bella, Eva Marie, Paige, Natalya, and Alicia Fox win.
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