Diva on Divas Season 5 Premiere: Dot Net’s resident diva on Total Divas – John Cena proves to be the adult in the room, Brie tries to make Bryan work, Paige realizes being engaged is lame, and more!

By Will Pruett

“I don’t even want to be frickin’ engaged, Kevin” – Paige

As opposed to launching us forward in time three or four months, this episode of Total Divas seemed to pick up right where the prior season left off. It was like the true finale to the season four cliffhangers we so desperately needed. Did Nikki take Dolph-Nick up on his offer of marriage and children and junk? Did Paige end up staying engaged even though she didn’t want to be? Is Bryan still injured and all sadsies at home? Man… I missed this show.

First, let’s talk about the John Cena, Nikki Bella, and Dolph-Nick situation. John Cena is currently in a committed relationship with Nikki. He has been for a long while. He is not enthusiastic or even alright with the idea of marriage though. Nikki has dreamed of marriage for a long time. Dolph-Nick is Nikki’s ex-boyfriend who couldn’t make her dreams come true before, but now wants to. Dolph-Nick attempted to kiss Nikki in a discussion backstage. Emotional chaos ensued for Nikki.

After thinking about it for a long while (time is not a straight line on this show) that could have been a week or could have been three months, Nikki told John about it in a super fancy restaurant in Japan. John’s reaction was simply telling Nikki to do what she wanted. Nikki was outraged! How dare John Cena act like an adult? She wanted him to throw bread and he was thoroughly unfazed. Cena seems to realize that he cannot force Nikki into a relationship she doesn’t want to be in. Somehow, this upsets Nikki.

I know passion is necessary in life, but sometimes passion can hurt you. Look at the situation between Paige and Kevin. Kevin passionately proposed to Paige and Paige, caught up in the moment, said yes. She has no true desire to get married right now. She just wants to keep living her life. Passion got in the way here. Paige eventually had to explain to Kevin how not engaged she wants to be. Kevin’s feels were hurt. Paige went through a ton of stress. Following passion can be harmful.

“Daniel” Bryan Danielson is dealing with being taken away from his life’s passion: professional wrestling. While Total Divas doesn’t really use the words “way too many concussions” when talking about Bryan, we can infer it. Brie wants Bryan to find a new passion, because he looks kind of sad on the sensible couch cuddling Josie all the time. Brie decides to gift Bryan with her passion: promoting local ethical businesses. While I share this passion with Brie and Bryan supports it in theory, it isn’t Bryan’s cup of locally packaged tea.

Bryan is dealing with being too passionate about the one thing he cannot do. John Cena is passionate about many things, including a well-fitted suit. Cena is definitely passionate about Nikki, but he’s an adult. His reaction doesn’t show a lack of love or care, it shows that he loves Nikki enough to let her follow her passion. He doesn’t fight for Nikki in this moment because he wants Nikki to choose him, not force him to win her.

As always, this show is about so much more than wrestling. It’s an litany of life lessons for all of us. Let’s all try to be a little more like John Cena everyday.

Picking up the pieces:

– For realsies, the “Daniel” Bryan Danielson story is making me sad.

– Bryan calling Nikki and John’s relationship weird was fantastic though. No one throws shade like Bryan.

– I remember Nattie being on this show, but I can’t remember what she did. I know Tyson is getting neck surgery soon, but this is all I remember.

– Nothing about a cat cafe seems sanitary.

– What kind of guy keeps pressuring a girl to plan a wedding. Kevin’s an awkward dude. “Hey, I know you’re supes tired and all, but we gotta’ get this thing going. Get a dress and a venue immediately, please. Oh, and my mom is coming to town.” Awkward.

This Season on Total Divas: John Cena is willing to talk about marriage, Bryan continues gardening and dreaming of wrestling, some new girl who is super lame does stuff, they all go to Paris, Nikki is injured while slaying, and more!

You know what’s great? When your feedback doesn’t annoy me. Give it your best shot and feel free to email me at itswilltime@gmail.com or to follow me and interact on twitter at @itswilltime. Basically, let’s be best friends.


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