McGuire’s Mondays: From Cody Rhodes to CM Punk to Tony Khan to TNA, here are some of pro wrestling’s unanswerable questions

By Colin McGuire, ProWrestling.net Staffer

When the calendar turned to 2024, I had only one resolution for the new year: stop listening to wrestling podcasts. Or, most of them at least. After so long, the stories became redundant, the agendas being pushed became obnoxious and the liberal, constant use of “I don’t remember” when asked about things like Starrcade ’97 or wrestler contracts from 30 years ago became too common. Why try to psychoanalyze storylines that are 27 years old if the experts in the room either don’t want to comment on them, can’t remember what to say about them, or just turn the conversation back towards whatever talking point they want to emphasize? Perhaps there was a charm to it at one point. After so long, I can only take so much.

With a podcast void in my life, a friend recommended something called The Rewatchables. It’s a Ringer show, so yes, Bill Simmons is involved. Each week, the panel picks a movie and discusses said movie at length via a bunch of fun categories. One of those categories is “Unanswerable Questions.” For instance, take Forrest Gump, which was featured on a recent episode. An example of an unanswerable question would be something like, “If Forrest Gump was such a stud on the football team at the University of Alabama, why didn’t he opt for a career in the NFL?” That’s a fairly bland example, but you get it.

The notion of unanswerable questions and pro wrestling converged in my mind last week when CM Punk posted a photo of himself at the gym, rehabbing that bum arm of his. Someone, somewhere noted how that guy always looks so jacked in photos when he’s working his way back from an injury, and yet when he steps back into a wrestling ring he looks … well, he looks not jacked. And so an unanswerable question formed in my mind: How can CM Punk look so buff in mirror selfies and then look like a regular guy whenever we see him on the big stage?

Unfortunately for you, dear reader, my mind didn’t stop there. Here’s a list of other pro wrestling unanswerable questions my brain concocted while pondering similar things:

– Why did Cody Rhodes step aside for The Rock to main event WrestleMania XL only to change his mind less than a week later?

This, of course, is the most obvious question most wrestling fans have right now, and it’s one that WWE hasn’t addressed since that infamous press conference 10 days ago. As I stated last week, I’m not going to pass judgment on anything at this point because rushing to pass judgment seems to be the name of the game in pro wrestling fandom these days. Perhaps The Rock turns on The Bloodline at WrestleMania and even the slap heard ’round the world was part of some master plan between Cody and The Rock. Perhaps WWE just hopes we forget about the whole thing. Whatever it is, as of this writing, the question, from an outsider’s point of view, is impossible to answer.

– How on earth can Swerve Strickland and Hangman Page stand in a ring without having to be separated?

Swerve broke into Page’s house and messed with his kid. These two have had absolutely brutal battles over the last several months and continue to insist they hate each other more than ever. What gives? Why wouldn’t there be a security staff on call each time these two are within 50 feet of each other? Cutting promos on one another feels like child’s play. If you’re telling the story of a blood feud filled with hate, tell the story of a blood feud filled with hate. Don’t just stand there and yell at each other. Duh.

– What in the name of Antonio Inoki is going on in New Japan Pro Wrestling?

See: The column I wrote on Jan. 22.

– Why is TNA cursed?

Is it a coincidence that Scott D’Amore got the boot once “Impact” turned back into “TNA” at midnight? I think not. For the first time in ages, it felt like that company, whatever you want to call it, had some momentum behind it. Then its owners stepped in and said … “Nah.” It’s not even “Lol, TNA” at this point. It’s just one, big sad emoji.

– Why isn’t Jacob Fatu wrestling for one of America’s two biggest wrestling companies?

The premise of this question may change sooner than later because Fatu appears to have wrapped up his time in MLW after he got body-bagged this past weekend. Plus, there’s been a ton of chatter about this very thing happening of late. But, damn, man. Yes, he was convicted of armed robbery when he was 18, but WWE did business with Booker T and MVP despite both men serving prison time. What does this guy have to do to get the call? He constantly impresses with his in-ring work and as I wrote in this space after interviewing him a while ago, he appears to have his head on straight. There is no reason at this point that he should be working in front of 200 people on random Saturday nights across the country.

– Do you think GCW ever wants to grow out of being GCW?

I only ask because even ECW wanted to expand its reach at some point. The energy of their live shows is addicting and you can’t say they don’t offer a spectacle each time the lights go up in whatever room they occupy. But how sustainable is it? Could you imagine GCW in 20 years? Or, more pointedly, could you imagine GCW without Nick Gage or Brett Lauderdale? What happens then?

– Will we ever see Jade Cargill wrestle on WWE TV on a week to week basis?

This is unanswerable for now, but I wonder if there are some decision-makers who have already made up their minds about this. I understand making her an attraction … but come on, guys. You’ve had her under contract for months. You can’t convince me AEW’s influence on her was so wretched and she’s so inept at this pro wrestling thing that you can’t even entertain the idea of putting her out there more consistently. You can only hide behind the “good things come to those who wait” line for so long.

– Is it in Jay White’s contract that he must be physically carrying a championship at all times?

He never won the AEW World Championship, but he walked around with it draped over his shoulder for weeks. And now, in an odd twist, he is one-third of the Ring of Honor Six-Man Tag Team Champions, so he’s sure to have a belt in his possession whenever he’s seen on camera these days. Is it really so important he has one of these things at all times that they had to relegate him to being a tag champion in ROH?

– How did Tyler Bate go from being a serious, dashing young prize fighter to a pseudo-hippie, scraggly strong boy that looks like he aged 20 years in six months?

Shout out to the 2017 WWE United Kingdom Championship Tournament.

– Does Miro actually want to wrestle?

OK, so he can probably answer that, but he’s about the only one who can. Who knows (or cares) if he will or will not do jobs. Who knows (or cares) if he doesn’t like or agree with any creative pitches thrown his way. It’s simple. Does the guy actually want to wrestle? Or is he content signing deals with wrestling companies only to … well … not wrestle?

– What does the pro wrestling world look like if AEW never existed?

Say what you want about the company – and chances are, you already have – but in light of everything that’s happened at the top of the WWE food chain, are we to believe pro wrestlers would feel confident enough to speak out against the Big Bad Wolf that is WWE had another viable alternative not popped up? I’d like to think Vince McMahon would have gotten his comeuppance no matter what, but it feels like now more than ever, wrestlers aren’t intimidated by the perception that there’s only really one place to make good money in pro wrestling and that’s because there isn’t only really one place to make good money in pro wrestling anymore. That’s a good thing. Love Tony Khan or hate Tony Khan, you at least have to respect that much … right?