By John Moore
Lucha Underground TV
Taped April 2016 at Los Angeles, California
The intro teaser featured Dario Cueto talking to Matanza about the championship, Dante Fox and Killshot’s relationship, Black Lotus’s triad thing, and The Worldwide Underground’s quest to get Johnny Mundo to the Lucha Underground Championship. This week’s episode was titled “Every woman is sexy, every woman is a star”… (That’s a mouthful for a title)
In some random part of the temple, Paul London and some random costumed dudes were dancing around like they were on some type of drugs. Paul London said the white rabbit called to him and he followed it. London said it showed him his destiny. London said it asked him to let go who he is and become who he is. London fought his two dudes with a carrot. He said now together they will journey to places that they never dreamed. He said El Bunny will lead them and they will follow even if that means into war. London said Tick Tock and the words “They’re here” flashed on the screen…
Matt Striker and Vampiro checked in on commentary. Striker reminded the viewers that Sexy Star was the new champion and she was a fighting champion who would be defending her title against Johnny Mundo who was turning in his Gift of the Gods Championship. Melissa Santos introduced the next match, it was (Forgive me if I misspell), Mala Suerte, Saltador, and Paul London. They were facing the Trios Champions for the Trios Championship. London’s crew was called “The Rabbit Tribe” and there was a checkered dude and a mohawk luchador. The Mohawk guy’s shirt said he does it like a rabbit. Vampiro told us about the history of why fighters use drugs…
1. Paul London, Mala Suerte, and Saltador vs. Fenix, Aerostar, and Drago for the Lucha Underground Trios Championship. The trios paired off to start. Paul London started against Fenix and quickly tossed him outside. The checker guy did a Tope Con Hilo on the outside guys. Striker tried to explain the Rabbit Tribe getting a Trios Championship match by saying that they earned it due to Paul London’s “reputation” as striker put it.
John’s Thoughts: That’s a lame explanation as to why they get a Trios championship match in their debut, but I do give Striker and the writers credit for at least addressing their flaw in booking and at least trying to cover it up.
London surprised Fenix with a superkick. London trust fell on Drago and Aerostar. London started air humping with his sparkling codpiece. Vampiro offered to take Matt Striker out to the desert to get high on drugs, seriously, that’s what most of the commentary has been focused on so far, drug usage. The Rabbit tribe triple teamed Fenix. London and checker guy held Fenix down. Mohawk teased a coast to coast but ran into a dropkick. The Rabbit Tribe did a “Ring Around the Rosie” around Fenix with some stupid post-production sound effects spliced in. Ugh… give me a break!
Striker continued to talk about dope. Aerostar accidently dropkicked Drago for some reason. Fenix hit the mohawk guy in the mohawk with a kick. Fenix got planted by a power slam and the mohawk guy got a nearfall. Vampiro said Mala Suerte means bad luck. Fenix hit a low kick on Mohawk and kicked him to send him to the ground. Fenix went for a tag but was pulled back. London tripped Drago and Aerostar and teased Fenix from his corner. Mohawk went for a failed rollup. Checkers and London ran in and tried triple team moves but Fenix fought them off. Fenix kicked London and dodged the other two who shared a high five.
The Trios Champions went on the same page and hit kicks on checkers. Drago took out Mohawk with a tope and Aerostar took out London. Checkers hit a spike DDT on Fenix to earn a nearfall. Kobra Moon was watching the match from a high place. Checkers was hit by a Fenix kick. Fenix rolled over into a bridge to pick up the win on checkers.
Fenix, Aerostar, and Drago defeated Paul London’s Rabbit Tribe via pinfall in 5:45 to retain the Lucha Underground Trios Championship.
The Trios champions celebrated their win. Kobra Moon yelled for Drago. She said sooner or later Drago will bow down to his reina!… [C]
John’s Thoughts: Ugh… That was terrible. You do all that build up for them to lose? London looked solid and at least he’s trying to integrate the drug junkie character into his in ring work. The other two guys look like jokes and London via association. They are like The Crew just worse. It also doesn’t help that Striker and Vampiro treated them like jokes on commentary as well as focusing on educating the viewers on the usage of psychedelic drugs. This reminds me of Season 2 in the bad way, especially with the debuting wrestlers coming into the Temple as loser scrubs.
Sexy Star was holding her Lucha Underground Championship in the Locker Room as Willie Mack came in and said he should be Lucha Underground Champion. Sexy Star looked surprised a bit but Mack revealed he was playing and congratulated Sexy Star for winning. Mack said he was proud of Sexy Star. Mack said he heard that Johnny Mundo was cashing in the Gift of the Gods for a title shot and said that he doesn’t want Mundo stealing the Lucha Underground title the same way that he won the Gift of the Gods. Mack said he wanted to be at ringside for Sexy Star and if any shady business goes down he is going to take The Worldwide Underground to Stunner Town. Sexy Star pleaded “nooooo” and said she has to go out there alone to do this. Sexy Star said she is there to prove to the world that this was no fluke and everyone would know tonight that she deserves to be Lucha Underground Champion. Willie Mack gave Sexy Star a fist bump and wished her luck. Sexy Star said that Johnny Mundo needs suerte (ha I just learned that word from the previous match!)…
John’s Thoughts: Damn. I know they’re trying to write Sexy Star as a fighting champion for the female fanbase, but she just comes off like a complete idiot for refusing Mack’s help in keeping the Worldwide Underground in check. Star said she’s trying to prove that she deserves to be champ but all she did there was prove she shouldn’t. And who ever said her win was fluky? They didn’t have time for anyone to complain about any fluky wins!
Dante Fox and Killshot made their way to the ring for the next match… [C]
2. Dante Fox vs. Killshot. Fox and Killshot bickered at the beginning of the match. Killshot caught Fox’s punch and hit him with a shoulder block. Fox fought back with a front kick. Killshot landed a headscissors and a dropkick to Fox. Killshot put Fox on the top rope but Fox pushed Killshot off. Fox hit a springboard missile dropkick on Killshot to send him outside. Fox hit a tope on Killshot followed by another. Killshot blocked the third. Striker was trying to make military puns again.
Fox kicked Killshot. Killshot flipped away from fox. Fox then did this cool wall run shooting star press on Killshot when Killshot tried to trip him on the apron. Fox went for a tiger feint kick but killshot hit a cutter on the outside to Fox. Fox dodged Killshot’s rolling cutter and hit a springboard cutter on Killshot to pick up the nearfall on Killshot. Fox went for hit brainbuster but Killshot headbutted Fox in the pec. They both traded punches until Killshot gained momentum with chops. Fox hit a pump kick on Fox and Killshot came back with a spinning roundhouse.
Killshot ended the rally of Fox with a rolling cutter. Fox caught Killshot with an uppercut. Killshot caught Fox midair with a triangle armlock. Fox fought out of the submission with a reversal and boots. Fox hit an overhead kick on Killshot. Killshot blocked a Spanish Fly and hit a sick looking Super Attitude Adjustment on Fox to the ring apron. Killshot hit Fox with his finisher the double footstomp. Fox kicked out of the pin for a great nearfall. Fox rolled up Killshot for a nearfall.
Fox and Killshot did some matrix dodges until Fox hit Killshot with a series of kicks. Fox got hype and hit a springboard Spanish fly on Killshot. Fox followed up with the brainbuster suplex to pick up the win.
Dante Fox defeated Killshot via pinfall in 9:04.
The crowd gave Fox a favorable reaction and chanted “that was awesome”…
Johnny Mundo walked into Dario Cueto’s office complaining about Angelico. Dario said he didn’t know Angelico was in the building and said if he was he would have let Angelico wrestle in Aztec Warfare and maybe even in Mundo’s spot. Mundo brought up Dario Cueto receiving a fax from his agent/lawyer. Dario said yes and noted that Mundo has a restraining order against Angelico. Mundo said Dario wasn’t as stupid as he looks and then he pulled back on that statement. Mundo said when he does face Angelico someday he’ll take Angelico to slamtown but now he has a date with destiny. They did a cheap gun sound effect with Mundo’s glasses. Mundo said Dario will treat Mundo with respect once he becomes champion. Dario mocked Mundo’s lawyer/agent thing. They then did come cheap comedy with some b-movie music playing… [C]
John’s Thoughts: Great match between Killshot and Dante Fox and the right guy went over here. I was afraid that they were going to go back into last season’s issues by having the debuting wrestler lose his debut, like the prior Paul London match. Killshot continues to get better in the ring the more long form matches he has. Fox might be the most athletic guy in Lucha Underground not named Prince Puma so I’m intrigued to see what he brings to the table. Maybe even a match with Prince Puma down the road?
Dario Cueto walked to his office back from the break and Black Lotus was sitting in his seat. Black Lotus said her and the Black Lotus Tribe want Pentagon Dark. Dario Cueto called the triad “intriguing little girls”. Dario said they were impressive. Lotus said the Black Lotus Triad has been the most feared group in the east for decades and she wants to show that to Pentagon Dark. Dario said he’s heard of the reputation and would like to see them against Pentagon Dark in a gauntlet match. Dario said win or lose, the match doesn’t end until Pentagon faces every last one of them. Dario said this was a homecoming gift. Black Lotus gave Dario a blank stare…
John’s Thoughts: I smell an overbooked bullshit series of matches next week.
Mundo and Sexy Star made their way to the ring for the main event… [C]
3. Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo for the Lucha Underground Championship. Sexy Star and Mundo had a staredown to start. Sexy Star escaped a wristlock and rolled into a modified STF like move. Sexy Star rolled to the ropes but Mundo pulled her away. Mundo gave Sexy Star a curb stomp into the mat. Sexy Star kicked out of two pin attempts. Mundo planted Sexy Star with a suplex. Mundo kicked Sexy Star to the ground. Mundo went for Starship Pain which allowed Star to rollup Mundo for the nearfall.
Mundo kept the action on the ground with a Lebell lock and ground and ground a pound. Mundo put Sexy Star in the Tree of Woe and gave Star roundhouse kicks to the gut. Sexy Star gave Mundo some hip thrusts in the corner. Sexy star fought out and gave Star a front powerslam. Mundo missed Starship pain. Sexy Star gave Mundo a series of basement dropkicks and hit him with the X-Factor to pick up a nearfall.
Sexy Star hit a suplex on Mundo for another nearfall. Mundo hit star with the eye poke. Sexy Star sold blindness for the moment. Mundo hit her with a neckbreaker. Sexy Star escaped a resthold and hit mundo with the sunset flip. Star gave Mundo some chops to the chest. Mundo ran into Sexy Star’s boot. Sexy Star hit Mundo with a huracanrana and backstabber. Mundo came back with a Russian Legsweep to lead to a nearfall. Mundo went for the Flying Chuck kick but was tripped and hit by a double footstomp from Sexy Star. Mundo pulled Sexy Star’s arm over the top rope and hit her with the running knee to the face. Mundo went for a baseball slide but Star escaped and pushed Mundo to the barricade. Sexy Star hit Mundo with a cannonball.
Mundo retreated to the seats. Johnny Mundo took crutches from a planted fan in the audience. Sexy Star grabbed the crutch and went to try to hit Johnny Mundo with it. Sexy Star went to the fan and the fan showed that she wasn’t a fan but was there to help Johnny Mundo. She hit Sexy Star with the power of the punch. Mundo dragged Sexy Star in the ring and hit her with Starship Pain to pick up the pinfall victory.
Johnny Mundo defeated Sexy Star via pinfall in 11:07 to become the new Lucha Underground Champion.
The masked attacker cheered on Johnny Mundo. The fan took off her mask and wig to show that she was Taya Valkyrie. PJ Black and Jack Evans walked into the temple to celebrate with their Worldwide Underground leader…
John’s Thoughts: A decent match, but nothing great. It never really got out of first gear. As I mentioned earlier, Sexy Star doesn’t come out of this looking good. She refused Willie Mack’s help because she wanted to be a hero or something and it was interference from the Worldwide Underground that cost her the match. If Taya didn’t do it in the kayfabe world you would have known that PJ and Evans would. Also, this continues to bury the Lucha Underground title as there is zero credibility behind that thing. That is mostly due to the combined efforts of Matanza holding the belt hostage in the opening match and Johnny Mundo’s spiral into being a mid-card comedy heel as opposed to main event heel. Mundo’s character is also taken down by having cheesy B-Movie interactions with Dario Cueto combined with cheesy B-Movie sound effects.
This was on the bad side of Lucha Underground episodes and not really worth catching. If they release it on YouTube, I would definitely check out the Dante Fox vs. Killshot match but I’m sure they have some more compelling encounters down the road. After all that “coming soon” build, Paul London’s trio does the job to serve as fodder for something Drago has with Kobra Moon, and Sexy Star shows that she is one of the lamest World Champions in history. I’ll have more to say in my members’ exclusive audio review of the show and Hit List coming up later this week due to the Thanksgiving holiday.