4/14 Impact Wrestling TV Results: Moore’s review of the Ken Shamrock vs. Sami Callihan contract signing, Tenille Dashwood vs. Taya Valkyrie, Johnny Swinger vs. M Jackson, Hernandez vs. Rohit Raju

By John Moore, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)

Impact Wrestling TV
Taped March 6-7 in Atlanta, Georgia at Coca-Cola Roxy
Aired April 14, 2020 on AXS TV

[Hour One] Highlights from last week’s Impact Wrestling aired followed by the Impact intro theme… Josh Mathews and Madison Rayne were on commentary…

Johnny Swinger made his entrance, talked about how everybody is talking about “The Young Bucks”, and how he brought one of the “Jacksons” to Impact Wrestling. Swinger revealed who “M Jackson” was as some guy named “Mike Jackson” made his entrance. Mike was an aged man who wore what looked like a patriotic themed singlet.

Mike said he doesn’t like Swinger trying to exploit all the young people in the back. Mike brought up occurrences where Swinger attempted to exploit people in the back. Swinger said he’s not a young buck, but rather a 70 year old old-buck who has come to Impact to give Johnny a old fashioned Georgia butt kicking. Johnny asked to ring the bell…

1. Johnny Swinger vs. Mike Jackson. Mike landed an armdrag on Swinger. Jackson then landed a decent looking huracanrana for a guy that aged. In what wasn’t decent, Jackson almost hit the ground face first on a suicide dive, but thankfully Swinger was there to guide Mike down while also selling the move (still didn’t look great). Josh had all these facts about Mike Jackson.

Jackson slammed Swinger to the mat. Jackson hit Swinger with a single arm DDT. In what was fun and impressive for a guy that age, Mike Jackson tightroped the entire squared circle rope, to hit Swinger with Undertaker’s Old School. Swinger turned the tide with a Side leg sweep. Swinger then landed a DDT on Jackson. Jackson kicked out at two. Swinger then worked methodical heel offense on Jackson. Jackson punched Swinger in the gut and then rallied a few moves on Swinger. Mike took down the straps.

Jackson hit Swinger with 10 punches in the corner. Mike tripped when the ref pulled him off Swinger. Since Mike was distracted by the ref, this allowed Johnny to roll up Mike with his feet on the ropes for the dirty win.

Johnny Swinger defeated Mike Jackson via pinfall in 5:21.

Josh Mathews said Swinger is a jackass and will be showing up on Madison Rayne’s new “Locker Room Talk” backstage show…

John’s Thoughts: I can’t tell if this was a botched joke against AEW or an introduction of a 70 year old new roster member? Either way, it was very oddly executed, whatever it was. On one hand, why take the unnecessary jab at AEW out of nowhere with a jab that missed by a mile? If they were introducing Jackson as a roster member, why does Impact feel the need to go overboard with the comedy when they maybe could have gone the serious or inspirational route? Why couldn’t they play this like NWA does with older wrestler Tim Storm? Ugh, This company. Anyway, I also hope that 70 year old Mike Jackson (if he’s actually 70) isn’t wrestling these days due to the COVID era. To give the guy credit, he was fun in the ring aside from that botched suicide dive.

Ace Austin cut a promo while sitting on top of a storage trunk. Ace decried people who called him garbage. Ace called out Willie Mack and said that Mack should be focusing on helping Rich Swann recover instead of going after the X Title. Austin said this made Mack garbage. Trey Miguel interrupted saying that Ace has some balls for making such a statement about Mack (Trey was over acting a bit). Miguel brought up Ace being a hypocrite. Miguel noted that these games Ace is playing is just like the games Ace played against Trey’s mom. Ace asked Trey “how’s your mom?”. This caused Trey to snap and a brawl ensued. Cut to a Hall and Oats commercial (or more so just Hall)…[c]

John’s Thoughts: Trey did start off a bit rough when he walked up to Ace, but the guy really shines as a singles act when he’s not doing the ripoff comedy. I brought this up in the opening segment. Why does Impact feel the need to get a laugh from a few insiders when they should be creating characters people care about? Trey, Zach, and Dezmond are all guys who have main event upside (So much that Jeff Jarrett was presenting Dezmond as a future main eventer). I hope Impact tries to make a serious show during their Nashville tapings, but sadly I feel like they’re going to go with the “put smiles on people’s faces” approach and we might go overboard with the smoke circles and bad Deaner jokes.

They showed babyfaces around the Gorilla Position congratulating Mike Jackson for wrestling at the age of 70 (again, a bit scary when you think about the condition the world is in today, but that’s moreso a consequence of the times)…

Ken Shamrock made a metal detector beep, but the security guard said Shamrock was good. Impact authority figure Scott D’Amore showed up and told Shamrock that there was no physical contract during the contract signing or else the Rebellion match is cancelled. Shamrock said that’s fine as long as D’Amore controls his boy. Shamrock walked past D’Amore. Josh Mathews then ran through upcoming segments…

2. “The Rascalz” Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz vs. “XXXL” Larry D and Acey Romero vs. “Reno Scum” Adam Thornstowe and Luster the Legend vs. Fallah Bahh and TJ Perkins. Josh Mathews noted that Perkins and Bahh tried to introduce XXXL to some Filipino Cuisine (I know Filipinos really like fried chicken, but I tasted Jolibee fried chicken before and it’s just American fried chicken). Acey and Adam started off the match. Acey took down Adam with a lariat and tagged in Larry for some tandem offense.

Larry got a two count after a face wash on Adam. Adam came back with a jawbreaker. Zachary Wentz tagged out Larry. Luster tagged in and Reno Scum whipped Wentz an Irish Whip into the corner.[c]

Luster was dominating Wentz. Wentz came back with a CQC combo. Thornstowe tagged in, kicked Wentz, and gave Wentz a standing moonsault. Luster tagged in and continued to work on Wentz. Rayne praised Luster for looking very impressive size-wise (The guy is also very good as a singles babyface in the ring and has had great matches in Californa with big men like Brian Cage, Jeff Cobb, Willie Mack, and others. His weakness is his cartoony promos). Wentz tagged in Dezmond to fight Thornstowe.

Dezmond hit Adam with a combination and dropkick. The Rascalz hit Thornstowe with a combo double stomp. Luster broke up the pin. Thornstowe hit Dezmond with a dropkick. Perkins tagged out and hit Adam wtih a tornado DDT. A bunch of wrestlers then traded moves. XXXL sandwiched Luster in the center of the ring with running splashes. Acey then hit Luster with a running Senton. Larry and Acey then hit everyone else with stereo suicide dives. Reno Scumm then double teammed Perkins.

Bahh ran in and turned the tables. Bahh hit Thornstowe with a Samoan Drop followed by Perkins hitting Thornstowe with the Kobe Splash (I’m assuming named after the late Kobe Bryant due to Perkins being an avid Laker fan). Perkins picked up the pinfall.

TJ Perkins and Fallah Bahh defeated Team XXXL, Reno Scum, and The Rascalz via pinfall in 7:01 of on-air TV time.

The North entered the ring to stare down Bahh and Perkins. Josh then cut to the Impact Plus Flashback Match of the week, which was Tessa Blanchard vs. Gail Kim from Rebellion 2019 (which may have been Tessa’s last match in the women’s division. Her matches against Taya recently were over the “men’s” title). They aired 3 minutes of the match and Tessa won via submission with Tully Blanchard clapping at ringside…

John’s Thoughts: There’s a little bit of a “been there done that” vibe going into yet another Bahh and Perkins vs. North feud. Honestly, I would have rolled the dice with XXXL to see if they can come out losing a feud to The North while elevating their stock. Bahh and Perkins just haven’t clicked. I had high hopes that Bahh’s likability would make Perkins more likable but it turns out that Perkins has dragged Bahh down in popularity due to Perkins never really clicking as a babyface (but the guy is sooooooo good as a heel when he was playing heel on 205 Live).

Rohit Raju told Gama Singh in the hallway how important it was for him to win an X Division four way at Rebellion. Raju said he shouldn’t be wrestling Hernandez tonight. He called Hernandez a “musclehead nimrod”. Gama said he knows what is good for Rohit because he’s a leader. Singh slapped Rohit and walked away angry about “young guys”. The camera stuck on Rohit seething and glaring in Gama’s direction…[c]

They aired highlights from last week’s Cody Deaner vs. Joseph P Ryan match from last week…

They then cut to Joey Ryan in the production room, complaining that people shouldn’t be seeing that video package and hearing what the Deaners need to say. Joey said they need to be airing Joey’s footage. The production guys agreed and started airing Joey’s footage…

Joey’s footage was the latest Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes hot tub promo. RVD apologized to Joey for not assisting Joey last week. RVD bragged about living at home. RVD also talked about how people these days are staying home to stay safe and Katie doesn’t feel safe around the Deaners. RVD said the Deaners consume controlled substances on air. Katie said she’s happy to practice social distancing with the Deaners. Katie said she also doesnt like the way “they” be looking at her. Rob wondered if Katie was talking about the fans or Deaners? Katie and Rob then ended the promo with a hot tub makeout session…

Gama Singh cut his usual eh introduction for his Indian Soldier Rohit Raju (where has Gama’s son been?)…

3. Rohit Raju (w/Gama Singh) vs. Hernandez. Hernandez used his size to prevent from being given an Irish whip. Hernandez caught Rohit and then cradled him a bit. Rohit escaped and went for a sunset flip. Hernandez blocked it and told Rohit to suck it. Hernandez hit Rohit with a Pounce. Hernandez then hit Rohit with the Border Toss for the victory.

Shawn Hernandez defeated Rohit Raju via pinfall in 1:20.

Josh noted that the TNA Original was fitting well in Impact…

Josh sent the show to Madison Rayne’s “Lockerroom Talk” Segment. Rayne introduced Johnny Swinger as her co-host. She congratulated Swinger for beating Mike Jackson but asked Swinger if Swinger expected it to be such a competitive match. Swinger noted that Mike Jackson cheated but Swinger overcame the cheating to win. Swinger then said he’s swinging to the pay window and if Madison could savor it with him. Madison said she’s not going to savor anything with Johnny.

Madison introduced Kylie Rae as her guest. Kylie avoided Johnny’s hug and gave him a high five. Rayne noted that Kylie is always happy. Kylie said she’s happy to have Kylie in Impact. Johnny then started acting horny, saying that Kylie is hot. Madison asked Kylie how it feels to be living the dream. Kylie said she’s excited at what’s to come. Johnny was bragging about his biceps. Kylie talked about being excited to be having her first PPV singles match against Kiera Hogan (she debuted at Bound For Glory in an intergender Battle Royal).

Rayne asked Kylie how Kylie Rae “really” feels. Kylie said she really likes Kiera and that Kiera is good. Kylie noted that Swinger agrees. Madison said that as a kid you’re taught to keep negative comments to yourself, but Kylie is a grown up now. Madison noted that Kylie is a bit mean. Madison pointed out that Kiera is a bit mean (Given her current character, Madison is right). Kylie said that Kiera is nice. Madison then introduced Kiera Hogan as the next guest.

Swinger told Kiera that she’s a part of his Swinger Sandwich now, with the special Kiera told Kylie that Kylie can’t handle the heat and there are no friends in the Knockouts Division. Kylie said she’s knocking the smile off of Kiera’s face. Kylie then yelled “Stop” and noted that Kiera pushed Kylie too far. Kylie told Kiera that Kiera is not very nice. Kylie left and Madison joked about Kylie putting out the hottest flame. Kiera left and Madison closed the segment…[c]

John’s Thoughts: As a talk show segment, I really liked what Madison Rayne and Johnny Swinger brought to the table. Madison was a good talk show host and Swinger more good than not with short comedic bursts. Hopefully we get more of these because I think that wrestling companies underutilize the backstage talk shows (I feel like in-ring talk shows are a bit outdated). What was the weak point is Kylie coming off as a person trying to play the Bayley character, which makes her seem like Bayley-lite. Hopefully she finds a way to come off a bit more original, but Madison and Kiera came off as more genuine here with Kylie coming off as the one who’s fake. From the giddiness to the “you’re not very nice” line, they all come off as Bayley’s greatest hits, and I’m saying this as a guy who reviews NXT and has seen the more natural Bayley run.

Josh Mathews then cut to a taped match between Michael Elgin and Eddie Edwards in the Arabic country of Qatar (wait? what!). This match footage also included the local promotion’s commentary team. The commentators talked about all of Eddie Edward’s tag team and world title reigns in Ring of Honor…

John’s Thoughts: So they put a graphic on the screen with a website to where this match came from. It was from QPW Super Slam 2 and it was taped February 22, 2020 in the country of Qatar. This was supposed to be Michael Elgin vs. Brian Cage, but Cage had gotten hurt.

4. Eddie Edwards vs. Michael Elgin for the Middle Eastern Title from the Qatar Super Slam 2 show taped in February 2020. Elgin chopped and body slammed Eddie around the ring. Elgin then botched a power slam, as the commentators pointed out. Elgin hit Eddie with a suplex for a two count. The commentator pointed out the mix of international cultures in the crowd. Eddie kicked Elgin off the apron. Eddie then dominated Elgin at ringside and the commentators noted that Elgin was injured.

[Hour Two] After a flash cut, Eddie hit Elgin with a Blue Thunder Bomb for a two count. The crowd was booing Eddie Edwards and the commentary team noted that the crowd wanted Brian Cage. Elgin gave Eddie a power slam. Elgin and Eddie had yet another one of their strong style exchanges in the center of the ring. Elgin hit Eddie with a discus forearm. Michael Elgin then rallied the crowd like he was a white meat babyface.

Eddie then does the heel thing by pulling the referee in front of him. Babyface Elgin accidentally clotheslined the referee because of an Eddie sidestep. REF BUMP!!! Eddie tossed Elgin into the ring post. Eddie then grabbed the title belt and was about to hit babyface Elgin with it. Suddenly, an injured Brian Cage runs out and beats up heel Eddie Edwards with a kick and punch combination. With Cage cheering on Elgin, Elgin hits Eddie with a Buckle Bomb and Elgin Bomb for the win.

Michael Elgin defeated Eddie Edwards via pinfall to become the new QPW Middle Eastern Champion.

John’s Thoughts: Why the hell did Impact air this random match they found off a streaming service? For one, did the world really need another Eddie Edwards vs. Michael Elgin match? I feel like we get these two in a NEVER Openweight strong style exchange every damn week. That’s not the issue. Eddie Edwards was working heel and Michael Elgin was working his New Japan Babyface persona. On top of that, his biggest rival in Impact, Brian Cage, runs out and starts cheering for Elgin out of the blue. What’s worse? Why air footage that contradicts a buttload of Impact storylines in one segment? Is this Scott D’Amore’s Quality Control at work?

5. Ace Austin vs. Trey Miguel in a non-title match. Ace and Trey had a bunch of counters until Trey pulled Ace to the mat. Trey then turned a Tiger Feint into a huracanrana at ringside. Ace and Trey brawled at ringside. Ace dodged a tiger feint kick and turned it into an Electric Chair Snake Eyes at ringside. Ace hit Trey with a rough looking Final Cut for a two count. Ace then dominated Trey in the ring. Josh Mathews was bickering with his wife while this was happening.

Trey turned the tide with a Scorpion Kick and neckbreaker for a two count. Trey slipped up Ace with a slide and grab. Trey hit Ace with a Missile Dropkick. Trey dodged a disaster kick from Trey and returned the favor with a Slingshot Disaster Kick of his own. Trey hit Ace with Cheeky Nandos and a Tiger Feint Kick. Ace dodged Trey’s high fly move. Ace then rolled up Trey with both hands pulling tights for the win.

Ace Austin defeated Trey Miguel via pinfall in 6:22.

They aired a Willie Mack promo. Mack talked about the mind games that Ace put Eddie Edwards and Trey Miguel through. Mack said Ace got to him by attacking Rich Swann, a man with one leg at the moment. Mack said he’s coming after the X Division championship, but it’s not about the championship now because Mack wants to beat respect in Ace. Mack said he’s going to perform a magic trick by making the title belt disappear from Ace and move to Mack’s shoulder…[c]

John’s Thoughts: A good match that reinforces Austin’s heel persona while protecting Trey Miguel. They are so Jekyll and Hyde with Trey Miguel’s push. When Miguel plays things straight, he comes off as a huge star. The rest of the time he’s doing the comedy skits and coming off like a scrub. Here’s hoping they pick a lane and stick with it on Trey, and I hope that lane is the straight lane. I thought Mack’s promo was solid after the match and we need more Mack straight-laced promos to build up his characterization.

Taya Valkyrie made her entrance. Tenille Dashwood then made her entrance in her (Babyface) Evil Emma look again…

John’s Thoughts: I mean? This is Emmalina all over again isn’t it? Both WWE and Impact teased a reboot to the stale Tenille Dashwood persona, only to have her show up the following week after the vignettes back to the gloves and aviator shades.

6. Taya Valkyrie (w/John E Bravo) vs. Tenille Dashwood. Dashwood hit Taya with a legsweep. Dashwood then hit Taya with a neckbraker on the second rope. Dashwood followed up with a seated senton at ringside. John E Bravo tripped up Dashwood while Taya distracted the referee. Taya did her Wera Loca warcry and gave Tenille a Superplex for a two count.[c]

John E was interfering at ringside while Taya distracted the referee. Taya gave Tenille a hip attack in the corner. Taya followed up with a corner meteora. Taya got a two count on Tenille. Taya locked Tenille in a half crab. Tenille reversed with a rollup for a two count. Taya came back with lariat. Taya then worked on Tenille for a sequence. Josh noted that Taya is a former Reina De Reina’s champion (she’s the current champion). Tenille slammed Taya for a two count.

Tenille hit Taya with a double underhook suplex for a two count. Taya shrugged off Tenille and hit Tenille with a spear for a two count. [c]

Taya hit Tenille with the Road to Valhalla. Tenille got a hand on the bottom rope to break the pin after Taya hit her finisher. Taya brought a chair in the ring and the referee took the chair away. Tenille rolled up Taya for the victory.

Tenille Dashwood defeated Taya Valkyrie via pinfall in 8:18 of on-air TV Time.

Taya attacked Tenille with a chair after the match. John E gave Taya a trash can. Taya then hit Tenille with a (protected) trash can shot to the head. Taya piled chairs on the back of Tenille. Taya then smacked Tenille’s back with a trash lid. Taya piled more chairs on Tenille and then beat up Tenille more. Taya then shoved John E to the mat while in her rage.

Jordynne Grace’s theme played as Grace ran out with a kendo stick. Grace ended up hitting Taya with the stick. John E got in the way and took a stick shot. Taya and John E backtracked up the ramp in retreat. Grace helped Dashwood to her feet. Josh Mathews went to his somber voice in wishing Tenille a speedy recovery what what he said may be internal injuries…

Tommy Dreamer was cutting a promo backstage with Rhino behind him. He was hyping a match against OVE in New York next week (probably House of Hardcore footage?). Dreamer talked about having to find a partner. Dreamer talked about his and Rhino’s history in New York. Rhino said next week things get extreme. He said he’s going to gore all three of them in half. Dreamer and Rhino ended the promo with “Gore gore gore”…[c]

John’s Thoughts: Impact really likes to put Tenille Dashwood over with plot armor despite her not clicking with the crowd at all. What was also odd about this upcoming Grace vs. Taya match is the match came out of the blue. They were building up a fun relationship between Rosemary and Taya via skits, but then Taya is suddenly a psychopath in the last two weeks. Taya has also been on a bit of a losing streak because they had her taking losses to both Tessa Blanchard and the men she’s been working with in tag matches.

Josh Mathews ran through the upcoming Rebellion card for night 1: Ace Austin vs. Willie Mack for the X Division Championship, Kiera Hogan vs. Kylie Rae, and Ken Shamrock vs. Sami Callihan. Josh hyped Suicide vs. Chris Bey vs. Trey Miguel vs. Rohit Raju as happening in Night 2.

Impact aired a Sami Callihan ICU hacking montage which also included footage from his feud with Ken Shamrock…

Josh Mathews introduced Ken Shamrock for the contract signing. Madison Rayne was solo on commentary now. Sami Callihan then made his entrance (to what people have pointed out is Shotzi Blackheart’s old Impact theme). Sami Callihan called Josh Mathews a dumbass and told him to get out of the ring. Josh ran away. Sami and Shamrock both took their seats at the table. Sami credited Shamrock for being a hall of famer.

He said Shamrock got himself in a funny situation. Sami bragged about lighting a fire on Shamrock’s face and how Shamrock can’t do anything about it. Sami said Shamrock isn’t allowed to choke him now. Sami congratulated Shamrock for winning the UFC Championship and being the first TNA Champion. Sami said Shamrock sees this upcoming match as a big match because of all the buzz that gets rubbed off of Sami Callihan. Sami asked Shamrock for his thoughts.

Shamrock signed the contract without saying a word. Sami talked about being the draw and drawing ratings. Sami said him hitting Eddie Edwards with a bat to the eye was the best thing to happen to Eddie. Sami said “you’re welcome” for all the buzz Shamrock got from Sami. Sami then noted he sees Shamrock hanging out with his family on social media. This fired up Shamrock. Sami said with one tap of a button, bad things will happen.

John’s Thought: Uhm? Does Hacker Sami have a bomb?

Sami told Shamrock to stand there like the World’s most dangerous bitch. Shamrock then did a table flip. Sami then pressed on his smartphone to shut off the lights. When the lights came back on Sami was gone. Then the lights kept going on an off with various cyber cult (?) members showing up around the arena with Sami’s ICU emoji face written on a piece of paper and taped to their faces. Shamrock chased one of the cybercult members to the back.

They then cut to their cinematic camera, complete with stock music in the background. Scott D’Amore tried to calm down Shamrock but Shamrock saw one of the cult members in the hallway. Because Impact couldn’t F’n resist, they did a “Magical” distortion effect on the emoji face (what f–king logic is that?). Shamrock then sprinted to the parking lot and jumped in the back seat of a stranger’s car, telling the stranger to follow what he thought was Sami’s car. Shamrock then answered his own phone and it was Sami on face time.

Sami pointed out that the driver was a cult member. They continued to do their cheap and unrealistic Adobe After Effects effect. Suddenly, cult members started shaking the SUV Shamrock was in like they were mindless zombies. Shamrock closed the show asking “What the hell is this?”…

John’s Thoughts: Or as Father James Mitchell puts it, “who books this shit?”. Ugh. Believe it or not, the Cinematic was fine content-wise, and I think that Ken Shamrock is one of Impact’s most credible roster members. The contract signing was fine. What killed the segment is the fact that someone backstage has a hard on for crap ass CG effects. This is made worse when you have WWE pumping out actual good cinematics that make Impact’s look like it was written by a little child with no TV experience. Can’t say I’m too excited about Sami being a Cybercult leader, especially after being an Ohio cult leader, but let’s see what he has planned? I kinda expected something a bit different given how long they kept him of TV.

In all honesty, I thought this was a pretty crappy go-home show. They topped things off in the end of the crap sundae with their low budget (and nonsensical) Adobe After Effects. We even got a match where Michael Elgin was babyface, Eddie Edwards was a heel, and Elgin and Cage are buddies. We also got a tribute to a random 70 year old wrestler (which could have been classy, but they made it a Young Buck spoof for no reason). This show had good parts, but not anything that would have sold us on paying for a PPV (because this show was supposed to lead into a PPV before the COVID changes).