By Chris Vetter, ProWrestling.net Contributor (@chrisvetter73)
New Japan Pro Wrestling “Road to Dontaku”
April 27, 2024 in Hiroshima, Japan at Hiroshima Sun Plaza Hall
Streamed live on New Japan World
The venue is an arena; the lights were low so it was hard to gauge the crowd size.
1. Toru Yano and Boltin Oleg defeated Rey Paloma and Hanzo in a “Frontier Zone” match at 6:49. My first time seeing these two. Paloma has short brown hair. Hanzo wore a full body outfit and robe, somewhat like Ultimo Dragon, but more accurately, like Shun Skywalker. Yano opened with his comedy around removing the corner pad, and Hanzo attacked him. Boltin entered at 1:30 and bodyslammed Paloma. Hanzo tied up Yano’s left arm. Oleg hit a shoulder tackle to flatten Paloma, then he hit a splash for a nearfall at 5:00. Paloma’s shorts are suddenly at his ankles and he’s wearing a red thong, and he basically tripped trying to run across the ring. Oleg hit his gut-wrench suplex for a nearfall, but Hanzo made the save. Oleg hit a bodyslam and a Vader Bomb on Paloma, then his forward Finlay Roll for the pin. Okay; it’s just silly to have Paloma run around and make no effort to pull his pants up from his ankles… NJPW already has Ryusuke Taguchi to do this juvenile stuff.
2. “The Bullet Club War Dogs” Kenta, Chase Owens and Taiji Ishimori defeated Tiger Mask and “Bishamon” Yoshi-Hashi and Hirooki Goto at 7:22. The BCWD came to the ring first; they attacked the babyfaces as they entered the ring. Chase and Yoshi-Hashi opened against each other. Kenta beat up Yoshi-Hashi on the floor. In the ring, Ishimori peeled off his shirt at 3:00 and choked Yoshi-Hashi with it. Yoshi-Hashi finally hit a suplex on Kenta, and he made the hot tag to Goto. Goto hit a back suplex on Kenta. Tiger Mask entered and hit some spin kicks on Kenta. Chase grabbed a title belt and Tiger Mask in the head with it to get the tainted pin. Blah.
3. Jeff Cobb and Francesco Akira defeated “The Mighty Don’t Kneel” Kosei Fujita and Zack Sabre Jr. at 11:40. Sabre and Cobb opened, with Zack applying a leglock around Cobb’s neck. Jeff applied an anklelock and they traded mat holds. (Why is Cobb trying to match him hold for hold?) Fujita and Akira entered at 3:00 and traded faster reversals, with Akira hitting a huracanrana. Fujita hit a bodyslam. Akira hit a flying leg lariat for a nearfall at 5:00. Sabre got the hot tag at 6:30 and he grabbed Akira’s leg and tied him up, then hit a Yes Kick to the chest.
Cobb jumped in, but Sabre hit a Pele Kick to the shoulder. Akira hit a top-rope crossbody block on Sabre, then a doublestomp to his chest at 8:30. Cobb tagged in and hit some forearm strikes on Sabre. He hit a bodyslam for a nearfall. Sabre hit a tornado DDT. Fujita tagged back in; he couldn’t budge Cobb on an Irish Whip attempt, and his chops had little effect. He hit a springboard senton at 10:30. He set up for a German Suplex but Cobb just brushed him off. Akira hit a plancha to the floor on Sabre. Cobb hit a standing powerbomb on Fujita for a nearfall. He then nailed the Tour of the Islands swinging powerslam for the pin. Good action.
4. Shota Umino, El Desperado, and Tomohiro Ishii defeated “House of Torture” EVIL, Ren Narita, and Yujiro Takahashi at 8:55. The HoT attacked at the bell. We see Toru Yano has joined the Japanese broadcast team. Desperado and Shota worked over Ren early on. EVIL choked Desperado with a shirt and the HoT kept him in their corner. Ren applied a Cobra Twist. On the floor, Ren whipped Shota into a guardrail at 4:30, while the HoT still had Desperado in their corner. Desperado finally hit a back suplex on EVIL. Ishii got the hot tag and he hit some forearm strikes and a shoulder tackle on EVIL, while avoiding attacks from the other HoT members. He hit a suplex on EVIL at 6:30. Desperado entered and hit a Spinebuster on EVIL. Shota hit a DDT on Yujiro onto the ring apron at 8:30, then a swinging neckbreaker in the ring. He nailed the Death Rider double-arm DDT for the pin. That wrapped up quickly!
* Immediately after the bell, Ren Narita hit Shota with his push-up bar.
5. Hiroshi Tanahashi and Katsuya Murashima defeated Tomoaki Honma and Shoma Kato at 6:56. The Young Lions opened against each other with quick mat reversals. (This match feels really late in the lineup; this should have been after the Frontier Zone match.) Honma entered and battled Murashima. Tanahashi got a hot tag at 3:30 and he hit some forearm strikes and bodyslam on Honma, then his second-rope summersault senton for a nearfall. Shoma entered and traded forearm strikes with Hiroshi, and he hit a bodyslam. He put Tanahashi in a Boston Crab, and Honma hit a Kokeshi falling headbutt on Hiroshi. Tanahashi reached the ropes at 6:00. Tanahashi hit a Dragonscrew Legwhip, and he tied Kato in a vertical Texas Cloverleaf (like a Lion Tamer), and Kato tapped out.
6. “House of Torture” Sho and Yoshinobu Kanemaru defeated “Just 5 Guys” Douki and Taka Michinoku at 4:51. Sho wore his juniors title, but he also showed off the fake contract he got Douki to sign a few days ago, making their upcoming match a non-title match. J5G attacked at the bell, and Taka hit a basement dropkick. The HoT began working over Douki. Kanemaru hit a back suplex at 1:30. Taka tied up Kanemaru on the mat and cranked back on his head. Sho got his wrench, but Douki hit an enzuigiri. Taka hit a Mafia Kick on Kanemaru, then a superkick for a nearfall at 4:30. Kanemaru hit a low blow mule kick with the ref out of position, then he rolled up Taka for the cheap pin.
7. “The Mighty Don’t Kneel” Shane Haste and Mikey Nicholls (w/Zack Sabre Jr.) defeated “Guerrillas of Destiny” Hikuleo and El Phantasmo (w/Jado) to retain the New Japan Strong Tag Team Titles at 19:45. A reminder that TMDK won the titles in Chicago in a four-way tag match; they did not pin GoD to win the belts. Haste and ELP opened with standing switches and a feeling-out process. ELP hit a huracanrana. They got up and traded forearm strikes. They avoided each other’s big moves and had a standoff. Hikuleo tagged in at 3:30, so Nicholls also tagged in, and they had an intense lockup. Hikuleo hit a Stinger Splash and a sideslam. Nicholls hit a DDT on Phantasmo at 6:00. Haste slammed ELP back-first on the ring apron.
TMDK kept Phantasmo in their corner. Shane hit a bodyslam for a nearfall at 9:30, but Hikuleo made the save. ELP finally hit an enzuigiri but he couldn’t tag out. Hikuleo finally got the hot tag and hit a snake-eyes on Haste, then a Mafia Kick. He hit a Stinger Splash on Nicholls. He hit a double suplex at 12:00. ELP hit a top-rope moonsault to the floor onto TMDK. Awesome visual! In the ring, ELP put Haste on his shoulders and spun him to the mat. ELP accidentally hit a superkick on Hikuleo! Haste suplexed ELP stomach-first to the mat for a nearfall at 14:00.
Nicholls hit a sliding clothesline on Phantasmo. ELP hit a dropkick on Nicholls and they were both down. Hikuleo got the hot tag at 16:30 and he traded forearm strikes with Nicholls. Hikuleo hit a Bulldog Powerslam, and ELP hit a springboard Swanton Bomb and a Lionsault for a nearfall. TMDK blocked a double chokeslam from Hikuleo. ELP hit his springboard frogsplash on Nicholls; Hikuleo went for the pin but Haste made the save. Hikuleo hit a chokeslam on Haste, but Nicholls immediately grabbed Hikuleo and rolled him up for the pin! A good match, and hardly a decisive victory for the champions.
8a. Yuya Uemura defeats Great-O-Khan in a tire-piling contest at 12:34. I admittedly didn’t read what type of whacky stipulation this match has. We have traffic cones set up in the ring, and O-Khan grabbed tires and tossed those into the ring, too. He tied up Yuya’s legs inside the tires. This is more cartoonish than my liking. OK the goal is to put the tires onto the traffic cones. Yuya briefly was up 3-0 (yes there is a scoreboard in the lower left corner), but O-Khan pulled the tires off the cone, threw them to the floor, and the score went back to 0-0. This is dumb. O-Khan hit his Mongolian Chops. They took turns hitting each other with the tires. O-Khan tried to apply the Sheepkiller, but he wound up bodyslamming Yuya onto the pile of tires at 7:30.
O-Khan again tied up Yuya in tires and this is just so cartoonish. The score was tied at 3-3 and they brawled in the middle of the ring. O-Khan almost put a tire on his pile, but Yuya grabbed it to put it on his pile to win 4-3. If this sounds entertaining, I’m not describing it well. Oh jeez they aren’t done.
8b. Great-O-Khan defeated Yuya Uemura in a lemon-eating contest. A table was set up in the ring and they sat down. They were each given a whole lemon to eat, including the rind. This is so dumb but O-Khan easily won this in about 90 seconds. Is this a real thing? Do people really eat lemons including the rinds? The table was taken back out of the ring and set up in the aisle.
8c. Yuya Uemura defeated Great-O-Khan in a tables match to win the KOPW Title at 16:49. Yuya immediately hit a sling blade, a dropkick, and a plancha. They teased suplexing each other through the table at ringside. They brawled into the crowd, and O-Khan whipped him into rows of empty chairs at 2:00. They brawled over to a wall. They got back into the ring at 6:30; O-Khan grabbed another lemon and squeezed it onto Yuya. Yuya hit a back suplex.
They brawled back to the floor, and O-Khan shoved Yuya back-first into the guardrail at 10:00. O-Khan pulled out one of the smaller unbreakable tables and set it up on the floor. They brawled on the ring apron above where the table is set up on the floor. O-Khan moved the table into the ring. Yuya hit a flying crossbody block at 13:30, then a release German Suplex. O-Khan hit a clothesline, but Yuya hit a uranage and they were both down. They got up and traded forearm strikes. O-Khan hit a straight punch to the jaw, and Yuya collapsed at 16:30. However, Yuya grabbed both arms and hit his Deadbolt double-arm suplex, sending O-Khan through a table in the corner for the win.
9. “Los Ingobernobles de Japon” Tetsuya Naito, Shingo Takagi, Yota Tsuji, Bushi, and Hiromu Takahashi defeated “Bullet Club War Dogs” David Finlay, Clark Connors, Drilla Moloney, Jake Lee, and Gabe Kidd (w/Gedo) in an elimination match at 28:41. The tall NOAH star Jake Lee came out first, wearing a top hat and a single eye-piece; if Sherlock Holmes was Japanese, he would look like Jake Lee’s appearance here. (Lee made a surprise debut earlier this week and he’s taking Gedo’s spot in this match.) Eliminations come via pinfall, submission, and being thrown over the top rope to the floor. Slyly, a mascot who looks like the Philly Fanatic, joined LIJ to ringside. (I really hope there is a surprise debut in that outfit.)
Finlay and Tsuji opened; again, these two should have met in the New Japan Cup finals. Hiromu and Drilla entered at 2:00, and Hiromu hit a shotgun dropkick. The War Dogs jumped on Naito on the floor and stomped on him. We saw Kidd and Shingo trading headbutts in the stands; they have an upcoming singles match, too. The match settled down and the BCWD worked over Hiromu in their corner. Jake Lee entered for the first time and he hip-tossed Hiromu at 5:30; he’s listed online at 6’4″ but I thought he was even taller than that. Connors applied a full nelson on the mat as they kept Hiromu tied up. Naito finally got the hot tag at 9:30; Lee hopped off the ring apron to avoid Naito.
Naito applied a leg-scissors lock around Clark’s head. Connors hit a spear. Kidd and Shingo tagged in and traded shoulder tackles at 11:30, and Gabe bit his forehead. Gabe hit a suplex for a nearfall. They traded headbutts, then forearm strikes. Shingo clotheslined them BOTH over the top rope to the floor and were both eliminated at 14:20. Bushi and Moloney jumped in the ring and continued the match. Connors hit a spear for a believable nearfall on Bushi. Bushi hit his rewind kick and he tossed Moloney to the floor at 15:54! Connors hit another spear on Bushi. Bushi got a backslide and pinned Connors at 16:18! That was fast! Finlay picked up Bushi and powerbombed him over the top rope onto everyone on the floor at 16:58 to eliminate him, too. It is now 3-on-2 in favor of LIJ.
Yota hit a huracanrana on Finlay. He hit a spear for a nearfall. Finlay hit a senton. They traded more forearm strikes. Jake Lee grabbed Yota’s ankle! It allowed Finlay to knock Yota off the ring apron to the floor at 20:28, so it’s now 2-on-2. Naito brawled with Jake Lee as Hiromu fought Finlay. Finlay hit a backbreaker over his knee on Hiromu at 22:30, then a Dominator faceplant for a believable nearfall, but Naito made the save. Finlay hit a series of European Uppercuts on Hiromu; they did this spot earlier this week, with Hiromu keep charging only to be struck. Hiromu flipped Finlay to the floor at 24:01! Finlay was shocked and Hiromu made cartoonish faces at him to mock him.
Jake Lee hit a Helluva Kick that sent Hiromu flying over the top rope to the floor at 24:46, so it has come down to Naito vs. Jake Lee. Lee hit a back suplex for a nearfall. Naito hit a springboard tornado DDT, and they were both down at 27:00. Lee kicked Naito over the top rope, but Naito held on. They both fought on the ring apron. Naito hit a dropkick to the back to knock Lee to the floor to win the match. That was fun.
* Naito spoke on the mic, and the dumb oversized mascot got back in the ring and celebrated with LIJ.
Final Thoughts: This was one of the better laid-out NJPW-style elimination matches I’ve seen. No surprise that Shingo and Kidd essentially eliminated each other, and no surprise that Lee caused Yota’s elimination. I have no idea how long Jake Lee sticks around, but they certainly set this up so it could be a special attraction match against Naito. Another plus was the NJPW Strong tag title match. I assumed TMDK would retain, but they didn’t get a convincing victory, either.
If Yuya and O-Khan had just done a tables match that went roughly 17 minutes, that would have been fine. But the dumb game of piling tires, then eating lemons, was just painfully bad. It means the entire segment across three stipulations was probably close to 40 minutes, too. I would dare say this is our first serious nominee for worst match of the year. (Okay, second nominee, as Jay White vs. Billy Gunn is in consideration, particularly for how dominant Gunn looked in beating up a top star half his age.) Holding the KOPW title is like holding the WWE 24/7 title belt; you are defined down just by being in the division. You didn’t see John Cena running around trying to win that title. No, it was there for Drake Maverick and R-Truth comedy. Point being, I don’t think this helps a rising star Uemura one bit to be holding this comedy title belt. Hopefully he loses it quickly to Yano and he can move on.
The undercard was merely okay. The Cobb-Sabre stuff of course was the highlight. With how immobile HIroshi Tanahashi looks coming back from his recent ankle injury, he’s clearly not where he was even three months ago. That tag match could have been scrapped entirely. OH, I definitely want to see the team of Shota Umino, Tomohiro Ishii and El Desperado to fight for the tag titles. I feel like that would be a fun trio to watch on a regular basis.
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