By Jason Powell
TNA Impact Wrestling Hits
TNA Shop: You get a free download of Dixie Cater’s “The Hand That Feeds” theme song with your purchase! That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all month. Wait, this wasn’t like those fake “Fixer” ads they did for Tyrus? This is real? Are you f’n kidding me?!?
Rosemary vs. Jade for the TNA Knockouts Championship: It felt premature to book a cage match for this feud, but the women made good use of the cage. It’s unfortunate that Gail Kim was injured, yet it’s also nice to get some fresh faces feuding over the championship. Jade’s cross body block off the top of the page was frightening. The biggest fear was that Jade would come in high and drive Rosemary’s head into the mat. Fortunately, the move was performed perfectly. Rosemary capturing the title feels like a fresh start for the Knockouts. She’s spent most of her time working with Decay and hasn’t had many actual matches, so seeing her work feel new.
Maria, Laurel Van Ness, and Allie: The mean girls finally pushed it too far. Allie finally lashed out at Maria by slapping her. Allie took a beatdown, but it looks like they are moving ahead with Allie standing up for herself rather than complying with Maria’s orders. This continues to be my favorite storyline in TNA. Maria and Allie play their parts to perfection, and Laurel has shined over the last two weeks.
DJZ vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter for the X Division Championship: They are happy. They are friends. They support one another. When this all gets sorted out they might even get an apartment together. I was ready to pencil this in as a big Miss, but Mandrews finally put an end to the happy go lucky X Division nonsense by kicking the injured knee of DJZ after the match. Here’s hoping he drops the corny Mandrews name now that he’s a heel (or uses it as part of his heel persona), and the breakup of the top Team X Gold trio means that the concept is following the WWE Superstars television show into the pro wrestling graveyard.
TNA Impact Wrestling Misses
DCC: What purpose do the masks and distorted voice promos serve now that the trio have unmasked? At the very least, James Storm needs to memorize the distorted voice promos if they are going to try to pass it off as if he’s speaking the words live. It was hilarious to watch him try to move his arm to make it seem like he was actually speaking the words. His timing was completely off in that there were times when he would move arm even though there was complete silence. The group continues to come off like someone came up with the idea for the look and the distorted voice promos, yet no additional thought went into the concept. The match with the Hardys just kind of dragged on, as it’s already hard to see Bram and Kingston as being anymore more than lackeys for James Storm.
Moose beats Aron Rex for the TNA Grand Championship: Rex’s character and title reign were just starting to get interesting when they pulled the plug. John Moore wrote in his live review that he feels like Damien Sandow is back. While the same guy is obviously playing the part, it seems like there’s an effeminate twist. He’s finally cast properly as a heel and I was into the idea of seeing him cheat to retain his championship. I’m not down on Moose as the new champion, but it felt like the title change occurred at the wrong time.