By Jason Powell, ProWrestling.net Editor (@prowrestlingnet)
Pro Wrestling Sheet interview with CaZXL (a/k/a Big Cass)
Interview conducted by Ryan Satin
Interview available at Youtube.com
On Athletes Not Talking Enough About Depression and Getting Help: “I feel like not enough people talk about it, especially in sports or wrestling. If you suffer from depression, you bury that deep deep down and you don’t let anybody see it — or you don’t talk about it — it’s the worst thing you can do. Everybody’s embarrassed or there’s a stigma out there that you’re weak, or that you’re a ‘p*ssy.’ So you don’t say anything and you keep it to yourself and you don’t go seek help. Whether that’s talk therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy, or see a psychiatrist, or whatever it is … people don’t do it. And then that just leads to disaster.”
On How He Should’ve Gotten Help For His Issues Sooner: “Burying it down is just the worst thing you can do. It makes life hell on a daily basis. I was dealing with depression and anxiety having to walk around locker rooms and pretend like everything was ok and put on a face like ‘oh, I’m very happy,” but I wasn’t happy. I really should’ve spoken up. I should’ve gone and sought out help way earlier than I did. Because it just led to an absolute downfall of me, my career and William Patrick Morrissey III as a human being. I really should’ve just grew a set of balls and just went and got help. And I didn’t do that.”
How Much Cass Was Drinking Prior to Suffering a Seizure: “I’ll tell you this — I’ve never said this on record — I’ll say it here … before the seizure, every day I was drinking a handle of Tito’s vodka. Every motherf—ing day. A whole handle. You can ask my Drizly driver. He can attest to it.”
On Feeling Like He Let People Down During Program with Daniel Bryan: “I’m happy I had that experience, but I’m also disappointed in myself. I’m disappointed that I let the company down. Vince down. Hunter down. I let Bryan down because Bryan was really excited to work with me. And I let him down. These are things I have to deal with now. Learning experiences. But, looking back on it, yeah … I’m very disappointed in myself. I’m more disappointed that I let people down that wanted that to work out. But there are bigger forces at hand that were going against me in that point in time.”
On Going Off Script in Segment with Little Person Being a Huge Mistake: “It was a f—ing mistake. It was a dumb decision on my part. So stupid. It was probably the worst decision I ever made. And it’s so crazy what I was going through at the time, because if you would’ve told anybody two years prior — even a year prior — that I was gonna do that, they would’ve said ‘you’re f—ing crazy. He’s a model employee.’ I regret it to this day. So f—ing stupid. I just did what I thought was right and it was a very stupid decision. Very f—ing stupid. I shouldn’t have done it.”
Learning of His Release from Vince McMahon in a Nearly Hour-Long Meeting: “We had a long talk. It was a great talk. We had a very very good conversation and we left very amicably. I have no bad things to say about that company. They treated me well. They put me in great spots. They did everything for me and I kinda just f—ed them over. I feel bad about that and I’m disappointed in myself that I let a lot of people down.”
The Potential of a WWE Return: “I do think the door is open. It’s just a matter of what I want to do. It’s tough to say right now [if he’d like to return]. It’s a tough life, man. People don’t realize how tough that lifestyle is. Mentally, right now, I feel like I’m in a good place. I feel like I’m in a very good place to handle that schedule, and to handle that life — that’s where I feel like I’m at right now — but I don’t know what I want to do, man. I’m kinda living life right now keeping my options open. There’s plenty of wrestling out there in the world.”
On Planning to Spread the Word on the Importance of Mental Health: “I would love to spread the word on mental health. I just think it’s something that isn’t talked about enough. I feel like it’s something that is looked down upon and I feel like the stigma needs to change cause it’s really affecting people’s lives. People are out there offing themselves, committing suicide everyday, man. These are things that shouldn’t happen.”
I’m glad he went on the record and reflected on past behaviours and learning from them. Much respect. We all need to talk about mental health and depression. I was also under the mindset that if you talked about it you were “weak.” Thankfully I talked and man, it was the best thing I’ve done in years.
Good on you for seeking help and spreading the word! #BreakTheStigma