By John Moore
Lucha Underground TV on El Rey Network
Taped Early 2016 in Los Angeles, California
This week’s Lucha Underground intro teaser featured Cortez Castro/Ricky Reyes being ousted as a cop by Joey Ryan and having his arm broken by Pentagon Dark and Rey wants his revenge on Chavo for beating up Dragon Azteca Jr. This week’s episode was titled “Loser Leaves Lucha”…
Matt Striker and Vampiro checked in on commentary with Slapbak as the house band again. Striker pointed out that Chavo Guerrero Sr. (a.k.a. Chavo Classic) was in the audience for what may be his son’s last match in Lucha Underground. As Striker was about to go over the card, Dario Cueto cut him off directly to do his Dial of Doom game show. Dario said in two week’s Matanza Cueto will defend his title in Aztec Warfare from the number one position. He then did the Dial of Doom. The dial spun to “Dario’s Choice”. Dario said he feels like the big winner as he polled the crowd on who to choose. Several audience members wanted to go themselves and Dario said that he wanted them to be serious and pick real competition. He brought up Rey and said that he already has a match tonight. He said Pentagon Dark couldn’t because he already lost to Matanza. Dario said he saw someone backstage who got his arm broke by Pentagon Dark, yet he comes to work every week to rehab hoping that one day he’s getting his shot. He said that this one day is today because Cortez Castro is Dario’s choice. Melissa Santos then handled ring introductions…
1. “The Monster” Matanza Cueto vs. Cortez Castro for the Lucha Underground Championship. Castro had his arm in a cast as he brought a kendo stick to the ring. Castro sold pain in the arm as he entered the ring. Castro tried to dodge Matanza but was grounded quickly with a headbutt. Matanza targeted the arm of Castro with targeted stomps. Vampiro was angry on commentary. Matanza lifted Castro up and “Broke” Castro’s arm again along with the cast. It looks like a blood capsule broke in the cast too for a solid effect. Castro managed to gain a little momentum by dropkicking the shin of Matanza. Castro then beat on Matanza with the cast over his head. Matanza then ran at Castro with a shoryuken. Matanza hit Wrath of the Gods for the pinfall. Referee Rick Knox did the quick pin to avoid any more punishment.
Matanza Cueto defeated Cortez Castro via pinfall in 2:23 to retain the Lucha Underground Championship.
Dario Cueto entered the ring and told Cortez Castro that he didn’t know that Castro wasn’t ready to get back in the ring yet and was sorry. He said he hopes that Castro can get plenty or rest “under covers” and to come back as soon as he can, “Rat”. Striker didn’t get the wordplay and then reiterated that Aztec Warfare was happening in a few weeks. He also hypes the Loser Leaves Lucha match in the main event… [C]
John’s Thoughts: A standard Matanza squash match but it did serve a purpose as it did protect the storyline continuity of Dario being aware that Cortez Castro was an undercover cop. One would assume that Cortez Castro won’t return to the temple unless he’s an oblivious idiot who didn’t get Dario Cueto’s cop puns. It’s also clear that Matanza is just the surrogate for Dario Cueto who is the true Lucha Underground Champion and his Dial of Doom is good symbology for that. Matanza is improving every week but they have to get the belt of him ASAP since he’s just keeping it hostage in the opening match as Jeff Cobb is still not quite ready for primetime yet even though Season 3 has done a solid job building him and the other new wrestlers that got terrible introductions in Season 2.
Joey Ryan was in Dario Cueto’s office as the two were laughing about Cortez Castro’s peril. Ryan left the office. Soon after Son of Havoc and Mascarita Sagrada entered the office of Dario. Dario was drunk. Havoc said he was here on behalf of Sagrada. Dario made a short joke by saying that Havoc said “half”. Havoc said Sagrada wants a singles match against Famous B. Dario Cueto said Famous B was pretty much retired but Havoc retorted by pointing out how Famous B wrestled a few weeks ago. Havoc said Sagrada deserves this match after the way Famous B treated him. Dario said that Havoc was right and if Havoc could beat Dr. Wagner Jr tonight Sagrada gets his match along with his choice of the stipulation. If Wagner wins the match still happens but Famous B would choose the stipulation. Sagrada gave Havoc the double thumbs up and Havoc said that was good. Dario Cueto said he doesn’t do anything half-assed as he parlayed it to another short joke. He then did a drunken laugh as he sipped on his whiskey…
Prince Puma was already in the ring in the temple. Puma said two weeks ago he beat Mil Muertes in the center of this ring. Puma said beating him wasn’t enough. They cut to Vampiro watching attentively. Puma said Muertes put his mentor Konnan in a coffin. He said he won’t stop until he does the exact same thing to Muertes. Puma said he was challenging Mil Muertes to “Grave Consequences”. Catrina was at the top of the steps. Striker said that this was Mil’s specialty (even though he never won one). Catrina said “We gladly accept”. Suddenly Mil Muertes entered the ring in a dress suit. Mil started beating on Puma with clubbing blows while in his nice suit. Puma turned the tables and gave some punches right back. Mil ran through Puma with a clothesline. Mil threw off the suit revealing he had a nice vest on. Mil went for the flatliner but Puma elbowed his way out. Puma dropkicked Mil out of the ring. Puma teased a tope but did his signature flip to the center of the ring to fake-out Muertes. They soon cut to commercial… [C]
John’s Thoughts: I might have found that segment funnier than most people for some reason. For one it was painfully simple. Puma asked for a match and Catrina said yes. The funny part was how well the artist formerly known as Judas Mesias could move around in his dress suit. There’s also something inherently cool about masked luchadores wearing their masks while in formal attire.
2. Dr. Wagner Jr. (w/ Famous B and Brenda) vs. Son of Havoc (w/ Mascarita Sagrada). Son of Havoc sent Wagner out of the ring with a pump kick and clothesline. Son of Havoc then ran at Wagner with two topes in a row. Havoc worked on Wagner on the outside against anything he could throw him against. Wagner tried to reverse with an Irish Whip but Havoc ran up the wall and did a moonsault to Wagner. Havoc took the action back into the ring and went high risk. Wagner recovered causing Havoc to adjust. Wagner hit Havoc with a flying punch and a sitout powerbomb leading to a nearfall.
Wagner distracted the ref which allowed Famous B to get some cheap shots in. Mascarita Sagrada tried to help but Famous B quickly dispatched of B. Wagner hit Havoc with a second rope Diamond Cutter. Wagner hit Havoc with a hammerlock suplex. The crowd chanted 423-you-suck at Famous B. Havoc and Wagner traded chops while standing. Havoc dodged and kicked Wagner in the head. Havoc hit Wagner with a rolling forearm to pick up a two count on his end. Havoc hit his signature flip elbow and a crossbody for the nearfall. Havoc went to the top rope but was punched by Dr Wagner.
Wagner grabbed Havoc by the beard as they fought on the top rope. Son of Havoc hit the shooting star press on Dr. Wagner Jr which led to the pinfall victory.
Son of Havoc defeated Dr. Wagner Jr via pinfall in 5:32.
Son of Havoc grabbed a microphone to pick his stipulation. He told Mascarita that they could pick anything they want. Mascarita whispered in Havoc’s ear. Havoc said that Mascarita choose that next week would be a “Believer’s Backlash” Match. Havoc said he wants the believers to bring whatever weapon they could get their hands on because every weapon was legal… [C]
John’s Thoughts: This feud seems to be dragging at this point but we’re getting another return of a Lucha Underground staple match, that one match where Hernandez fought Drago and was beaten up by many belts and nunchaku shots. Hopefully the feud ends next week so Son of Havoc and maybe even Dr Wagner can move on to a higher spot on the card.
Another Paul London vignette aired. He’s still not at the temple yet. London said he always tried to understand his destiny but could never see clearly until he followed the white rabbit down the hole. He said the rabbit told him the ancient tales of his ancestors and to go and compete in the Temple. London said the Rabbit didn’t tell him what he would find there but all he has to do is open his eyes and he would see his destiny. London was surrounded by lights and a masked guy with a Mohawk and a guy in a checkered morphsuit. “They’ll be here soon”.
John’s Thoughts: It’s almost three months and they are not here yet. That’s way more than soon right?
Striker announced that Prince Puma would face Mil Muertes in Grave Consequences next week (lack of build much?). Melissa Santos handled ring introductions for the main event… [C]
3. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. in a Loser Leaves Lucha Match. Chavo grounded Rey and locked in the headlock. Chavo tried to go for the quick pinfalls but Rey kept kicking out. Rey rolled and hot a sunset flip bomb on Chavo. Rey sent Chavo outside with an armdrag and followed up with a dropkick. Rey gave Chavo a huracanrana which sent Chavo Jr. into Chavo Classic. Rey hit Chavo Jr with a moonsault leading to a nearfall. Rey dropkicked the hamstring of Chavo as he was in the corner. Chavo hit Rey with a tilt-a-whirl flapjack which gave him the momentum.
Chavo grounded Rey with a European Uppercut. Chavo targeted the left knee of Rey and locked in a legbar on Rey. Rey recovered and backtossed Chavo outside. Rey followed up on Chavo with a plancha. Chavo dropkicked midair Rey. Chavo continued to target Rey’s left leg as he slammed it on the ringpost. Rey blocked the reverse superplex and elbowed Chavo off him. Chavo stood strong but Rey kicked him off. Chavo recovered and put Rey in the Electric Chair. Rey converted it into a sunset flip bomb. Rey won the striking battle and got a nerafall off the crossbody.
Rey hit Chavo with the seated senton to earn another nearfall. Chavo hit a tilt a whirl backbreaker and did the shimmy tribute to Eddie. Chavo hit three amigos on Rey. Rey escaped the third amigo and was put in 619 position. Chavo Classic went in the ring and hit Chavo Jr. with a (protected) chairshot to the head. This caused Marty Elias to call for the Disqualification in favor of Chavo Jr.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. defeated Rey Mysterio Jr. via DQ in 10:22.
Chavo Classic waived goodbye to Rey and held up the hand of his son. Melissa Santos announced that Rey Mysterio must leave Lucha Underground forever. Matt Striker then did this half-assed farewell outro for Rey. Dario Cueto came out and told everyone to hold on. He berated Marty Elias for calling a DQ in a match of this magnitude. He said Marty forgot how much Dario loves violence. Dario said this match was not over and there will be no disqualifications.
4. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/ Chavo Classic) in a no-dq Loser Leaves Lucha Match. Rey put the Chavos in 619 position. Chavo Jr dodged but Chavo Classic got hit with the 619. Rey hit Chavo Jr. with a seated Senton which Chavo reversed into the single leg crab. Rey Mysterio made his way to the ropes for the rope break but before Marty could pull Chavo off, Chavo dragged Rey to the center of the ring.
John’s Thoughts: Marty Elias must be off tonight because how can you disqualify Chavo for not breaking the hold in a no DQ match?
Rey rolled to his side and kicked his way out of the submission hold. Chavo gave Rey some knees and went for three amigos again. Chavo turned the third amigo into the Gory Bomb leading to a nearfall for Chavo. Rey countered a power bomb into a seated senton for a nearfall. Rey escaped a sunset flip and hit Chavo with a front dropkick. Rey went for and hit Chavo with 619. Rey Mysterio picked up the pinfall win.
Rey Mysterio defeated Chavo Guerrero Jr via pinfall in 3:23 to end Chavo’s Lucha Underground Career.
Chavo Classic was angered on the outside as his son rolled in the middle of the ring. Rey held up both of his arms in the middle of the ring in victory. He also led the crowd in a na na na na goodbye song. Matt Striker hyped Grave Consequences for next week as Lucha Underground ended. No post credits.
John’s Thoughts: That was a pretty decent Chavo main event that wasn’t that bad. Chavo dominating works here since he does have a power advantage over Rey (unlike that odd match where Cage had to sell for him last season). Chavo Classic was a nice guest to have on the show and he does have more of a legendary aura than Chavo Jr. ever did. Something seems a bit off with the people putting the matches together as the rules are a bit wonky. The disqualification tonight does bring up the question as to why there were no DQs called last week when multiple refs went down in front of other refs. This week though, it was a bit odd that Marty and Rey went for the rope break in a no DQ match. Also, small tangent, someone really needs to change Rey Mysterio’s entrance music as it sounds like bad NBA highlights music.
Overall, a decent show. We’ve seen better this season but this episode did a good job forwarding several storylines which is all you could ask for. Everything was short and sweet. I do feel that Grave Consequences was a bit rushed but I understand the predicament they put themselves in with Aztec Warfare only a week after. This must mean they have more Lucha Underground setpieces planned for after Aztec Warfare since they are burning through Grave Consequences, Believers’ Backlash, and Aztec Warfare in only 25% of the season. Check back for my LU Hit List, and my member exclusive audio review.
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