Impact Wrestling TV results (11/30): Moore’s review of the annual IPWF Throwback Throwdown edition


By John Moore, Staffer (@liljohnm)

Impact Wrestling TV (Episode 1,010)
Taped October 22, 2023 in Toronto, Ontario at Battle Arts Academy

Aired November 30, 2023 on AXS TV

The show started off with a customized intentionally cheap looking opening video to match this week’s IPWF Throwback show theme…

Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. (Josh Mathews) and Professor Ignatius Quigley (Alex Shelley) were on commentary. Shelley was wearing a lab coat to match his character. Josh ran through the advertised card. Some guy named Doug Peterson was the ring announcer…

John’s Thoughts: What? No Dirty Dango as the drunk and lovesick color commentator that was a highlight of the original Southpaw Regional Wrestling? Anyways, ever since the first one, I’ve kinda dreaded these shows filled with jokes that only the wrestlers can laugh to? I’ll go in with an open mind, but don’t be surprised if I lose interest very quickly (And I loved Southpaw Regional Wrestling, but those were 10 minute episodes. Stretching 10 minutes to 2 hours just ruins the joke).

Josh sent the show to the ring announcer. The ring announcer ran through the sponsors and introductions…

Kamikazi made his entrance, who was dressed in a full body ninja outfit. claims he’s Speedball Mike Bailey. His opponent was Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann), who’s a pizza delivery boy…

1. Kamikazi (Mike Bailey?) vs. Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann). A “we want pizza” chant ensued. Both men started with fighting poses before the collar and elbow. Kamikazi separated and did a bow. Mathews noted that Kamikazi was barefoot. Kamikazi gave Pete a handshake, but blindsided Pete when he turned around. Kamikize did some overly dramatic strikes. Pete came back with a hip toss and deep armdrag.

Kamikazi rolled ot ringside to end the rally. Kamikazi gave Pete a jawbreaker on the top rope. Kamikazi gave Swann a few top rope chops. Kamikazi put Pete in a abdominal stretch, while also using the ropes for illegal leverage when the ref was not looking. Swann escaped with a hip toss when the referee tried to do a leverage stretch. Kamikazi came back with a jawbreaker and cross chop. Kamikazi put Pete in a nerve hold.

Kamikazi put Pete in a sleeper hold. Pete kept his hand from falling three times. Pete powered up and hit Kamikazi with a back suplex. Pete hit Kamikazi with Road Dogg punches and some flying crossbodies. Pete hit Kamikazi with a jump kick. Pete hit Kamikazi with a standing splash for the win.

Rapid Delivery Pete defeated Kamikazi via pinfall in 7:11.

John’s Thoughts: Ok match for what they were going for. Small positive was if taken seriously I think the Kamikazi ninja outfit could be used somewhere else because it didn’t look too cheap. Not a fan of both wrestlers hamming it up. Yes, I like watching Hoodslam, but joke wrestling is better live and when the joke is easier to take in (this is more of an esoteric joke). That and what I like about going to Hoodslam shows is that they include the strong workrate adjacent to the hammy nature.

Scott D’Amore was playing some sort of character. It kinda sounded like he could have been a relative of Rodney Dangerfield (I don’t get the joke obviously). He may or my not be the promotor. D’Amore announced a MMA vs. Pro Wrestler tournament of some sort. Josh Mathews showed up and said he doesn’t think the wrestlers can compete against the MMA guys…

The show cut to John E Bravo as a Russian manager. Bravo introduced his client, Boris Alexiev (Santino Marella. Boris Alexiev was actually Santino’s gimmick back when he was booked by Jim Cornette in OVW developmental). The interviewer noted that Alexiev killed Muscles McGee (Brian Cage), and wondered if he’s going to kill Tim Burr (Josh Alexander). Boris said that if Tim Burr dies, he dies…

Local promotor George Iceman (irl promotor of Destiny Wrestling) introduced DJ 2 Large (Moose) for an interview. DJ did a dance. DJ was also the Television Champion. George asked DJ how he feels after his title win. DJ talked about liking the gold to match his jewelry. DJ talked about how he had to go home to recover, but he’s back lookin’ fly.

DJ then said he’s welcoming all challengers. George said the $361,000 Man is coming after DJ’s title. DJ said he doesn’t care how much that joker is worth, because he has a scrawny neck. DJ said he was going to squeeze the soul out of that neck because there’s no way he’s taking the title away. The $361,000 Man (RD Evans?) showed up.

He was doing a Million Dollar Man act and asked Moose how much the title costs. DJ refused the dollar amounts and did a random dance/song. The rich guy then welcomed “The Masked Brother” who came behind DJ and attacked him (cagematch claims this guy is Frankie Kazarian). Referees separated the two men. DJ then challenged the masked guy to a match later in the show…

John’s Thoughts: Ugh, yep, my patience is running thin. I’m doing this for ya’ll so ya’ll don’t have to watch it I guess (or maybe you’re into the esoteric humor). To give everyone credit, it looks like the wrestlers are having fun (but when they pan to the crowd it looks like the fans are either politely playing along or confused). The problem with this comedy, is it panders to I guess a hardcore 80s wrestling fan (?). Hey, I got that Boris Alexiev was a play on Santino’s OVW character, but that’s because I was paying attention to WWE developmental in the 2000s I don’t think the average Impact fan or Hardcore 80s fan would get that. Again, esoteric.

Josh Mathews and Alex Shelley checked in on commentary as their characters. They sent the show to Walter Chestnut (Dave Penzer) and his client “Neptune” (Mahabali Shera). Neptune was Shera as a Merman. Chestnut cut a promo about how his family left him and how Scott D’Amore’s character stole his wrestling promotion from him. D’Amore is apparently also playing the character of Josh Mathews’s dad. Chestnut hyped up Neptune’s match against Frank the Butcher (Rhino as his Southpaw character).

The show then cut to Scott D’Amore’s character and Frank the Butcher (without his tag partner Seth Rollins). Rhino hyped up his upcoming match. Rhino just kept saying “chop chop” instead of gore…

Footage from last week was shown of “The Red Letter” (Jody Threat) defeating Jessicka’s character. The Red Letter was a mailwoman who threw mail at the crowd…

Iceman interviewed Red Letter about her last win. She talked about how she always delivers rain or shine. She said she should be called Rapid Delivery. Rapid Delivery Pete showed up and said he’s already Rapid Delivery. Pete walked off angry…

Entrances for the next match took place…

2. Frank the Butcher (Rhino) vs. Neptune (Mahabali Shera). Scott D’Amore was in Frank’s corner, while Dave Penzer’s character was in Neptune’s corner. Frank led the parts of the crowd that were willing to play along in “chop” chants. Frank took down Neptune early on with a shoulder tackle. Frank did his usual Rhino walk and brawl at ringside. Neptune hit Frank with an overhead punch for a nearfall. Penzer got a cheap shot in while the referee was distracted.

Frank got a boot up to block a dive. Frank rallied back with right hands and a tackle. Frank got the win after a follow through lariat.

Frank the Butcher defeated Neptune via pinfall in 3:39.

After the match, D’Amore forced Neptune and Chestnut to dress up as janitors…

An introductory vignette aired for “Otis Oats” (Cody Deaner) and “Harry Hall” (Cousin Jake) who were doing a dancing gimmick and calling themselves “The Hard Workers”…[c]

John’s Thoughts: To fish for some positives, Neptune’s look was good for a laugh. Scott D’Amore also did a pretty decent job playing the promotor character. Other than that, it’s just more eyebrow raising esoteric humor. The butcher joke is only half as good in Impact without Seth Rollins as the other butcher.

“The Sunday Morning Express”, two newspaper reporters, made their entrance. The “Editor in Chief” (Chris Sabin) cut a promo to hype up his team. His partner was “The Paper Boy” (Jack Price). Their opponents were the Hard Workers…

John’s Thoughts: Poor Alex Shelley on commentary. It sounds like he’s trying to play along, but it’s hard to play along when you don’t get the joke.

3. “The Sunday Morning Express” Paper Boy (Jack Price) and Editor in Chief (Chris Sabin) vs. “The Hard Workers” Otis Oats (Cody Deaner) and Harry Hall (Cousin Jake). Harry and Paper started the match. Harry hit Paper with a shoulder tackle and did a dance. Oats tagged in and did the robot. Editor tagged in and worked on the arms of Oats. Paper Boy accidentally hit Editor with a pumphandle when he had his back turned.

The Hard Workers cut the ring in half on Sabin and did double team moves. Deaner did actually do a funny looking Robot dance while crumpling to a knee to the back, but that’s not enough to save the rest of the bad comedy. Deaner got hit boot up when the Editor couldn’t figure out how high to do his dive. Harry got the hot tag and cleaned house. Paper Boy hit Harry with a stack of news papers to allow Editor to roll up Harry for the win.

The Sunday Morning Express defeated The Hard Workers via pinfall in 6:13.

Rip Razor (Ace Austin) and Rusty Iron (Ace’s real life girlfriend Gia Miller) were walking around backstage where they ran into Tommy Dreamer’s character and asked for a cigarette. Dreamer said he doesn’t smoke. Rip and Rusty mocked Dreamer for not smoking…[c]

The Red Letter was hanging out with Rookie Tommy Dreamer (Tommy Dreamer). Somehow this led to Brian Myers’s character throwing up on Sheldon Jean’s character. Scott D’Amore ordered Penzer and Shera to clean up the throw up…

Entrances for the next match took place…

John’s Thoughts: Colt McCoy? I thought Eddie was a Boston guy. Colt was the former College Standout from the University of Texas. Also, Cagematch incorrectly has “Colt McCoy” as Eric Young. Not even cares about this episode. See guys! I’m putting in some effort (and totally dreading it).

4. Rip Razor (Ace Austin) and Rusty Iron (Gia Miller) vs. Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards) and Georgia Cobb (Jordynne Grace). Rip and Rusty kissed to start the match. Rip and Cobb started the match. Rip and Rusty used tags to cut the ring in half on Cobb. Cobb came back at Rusty with a big boot and body slam. Cobb hit a wind up elbow drop for a nearfall.

Colt gave Cobb a cowboy hat. Colt and Cobb hit Rip and Rusty with stereo atomic drops. They then hit the heels with stereo hip swivels and headscissor smashes. Rusty gave Colt a low blow.[c]

Rusty put the boots to Colt in the corner. Rusty raked the eyes of Colt. Rip tagged in and worked on Colt with methodical offense. Colt rolled up Rip for a two count. Colt used a boot to dump Rip to ringside. Rusty and Cobb tagged in. Cobb hit Rusty with right hands and elbows. Cobb hit Rusty with a Vader Bomb for a nearfall.

Rip saved Rusty from a helicopter spin. Rip brought a knife in the ring. Cobb hit Rip with a right hand. Colt hit Rip with a neckbreaker. Cobb hit Rusty with a Helicopter Spin into a Rolling Senton for the win.

Georgia Cobb and Colt McCoy defeated Rusty Iron and Rip Razor via pinfall in 6:57 of on-air time.

John’s Thoughts: Again, to fish for positives. This was actually the best worked match tonight (not saying much, but at least the wrestlers worked normal wrestling spots in this one as opposed to the other matches). Another positive was seeing Impact’s backstage interviewer Gia Miller in the ring where she did a decent job selling. I wouldn’t mind if we see her during the regular show in a program. Other than that, the few positives are still surrounded by a ton of eye rollers.

The show cut to The Mask Brother (Frankie Kazarian) cutting a promo to hype himself up…

A fake commercial ad for a VHS of past IPWF specials, featuring wrestlers like Willie Mack and Luke Gallows in it…

Footage from last wek was shown where Quincy Cosmo (Rohit Raju) and Bill Ding (Trey Miguel) won some tag team titles. Bill Ding is a joke on Disco Inferno’s alleged wrestling booking by the way…

Entrances for the next match took place…

John’s Thoughts: Again, they all look like the wrestlers having fun (and I’m totally happy for them), but they all look like dorks! Hey, and I watch Hoodslam, but down at Hoodslam, they put effort and put on high quality matches that mesh with more mainstream comedy. This feels like everyone’s giving 50% and going for esoteric chuckles. Key word for tonight “esoteric!”.

5. The Masked Brother (Frankie Kazarian) vs. DJ 2 Large (Moose) for the IPWF Television Championship. The referee took away the many illegal objects that Brother had. DJ made Brother dance during the test of strength. DJ tossed Brother in the corner. Moose danced with RD Evans in a Full nelson before tossing him to ringside. The referee ejected the Evans character.[c]

Brother had DJ in a sleeper. DJ fired up and no sold punches while dancing. DJ did the Hulk “you” point and gave Brother a big boot combination. Brother dodged a leg drop. Brother hit DJ with an elbow drop for a nearfall. Brother hit DJ with a running knee. The referee caught Brother’s legs on the ropes. Brother shoved the ref. The ref shoved back and DJ got a nearfall. Brother got in the referee’s face.
Brother accidentally gave the referee a running knee. ref bump. DJ gave Brother a discus lariat. DJ had the visual pinfall but the referee was bumped. A 2nd referee ran out to give DJ the nearfall. DJ gave brother a reverse Atomic Drop. Neptune and Penzer were sweeping at ringside. Two bandits ran in the ring and were beat up by DJ. Brother hit DJ with a weapon to the head for the win.

The Masked Brother defeated DJ 2 Large via pinfall in 5:57 of on-air time to win the IPWF Television championship.

John’s Thoughts: Fishing for positives again. The Masked Brother was a fun throwback. I wouldn’t mind him getting in a time machine to modern day. A majority of everything else is a bad throwback. Seriously, if you want throwback pro wrestling comedy with “heart”, check out WWE’s Southpaw Regional Wrestling on YouTube, which has a lot of the IPWF cast. Those are short, sweet, and have high production values (to replicate 1980s public access production value). The production here feels not only low-budget, but low effort.

The Josh Mathews and Alex Shelley characters checked in from ringside where they plugged matches that aren’t happening for next week…

George Iceman interviewed Tim Burr (Josh Alexander) who gave prayers to the dead Brian Cage character. Tim Burr cut a babyface promo about being a proud Canadian fighting against the evil Russian. Boris Alexiev (Santino Marella) and Colonel Corn (John E Bravo)…

John’s Thoughts: 3 years and they don’t give context to the joke. Names like Tim Burr, Ray Strack, Bill Ding, Skye Scraper, and others were names that people alledge that Glenn Gillbertti, the Disco Inferno, pitched while he was helping book TNA. There you go. I did more than Impact to give you context. Boris Alexiev is a fun reference to what WWE initially had Anthony Carrelli in before they turned him into the Milan Miracle Santino Marrella. The last time WWE saw Boris Alexiev though, probably, was when Jim Cornette slapped him backstage. Boris’s OVW promo below.

6. Tim Burr (Josh Alexander) vs. Boris Alexiev (Santino Marella). Colonel Corn (John E Bravo) was in the corner of Boris. Boris put Tim in a side headlock. Tim reversed it inot a hammerlock. Tim no sold a chop. Tim sent Boris to ringside with a chop. A “chopping weapon” chant ensued (Ok, that got a slight smile out of me). Boris used a collar and elbow to pressure Tom to the corner.

Tim rallied back with cross and overhead chops to pressure Boris to the opposite corner. Tim chopped at Boris’s shins. Tim gave Boris a “chop” block. Corn crotched Tim on the top rope. Boris gave Tim double chops. Tim avoided a iron claw. Tim rolled up Boris for a nearfall. Boris gave Tim a suplex for a nearfall. Tim tripped up and tangled Boris off the top rope to the bottom rope.

Tim rallied with clothesline chops. Tim gave Boris a Stinger Splash and top rope bull dog for a nearfall. Boris reversed a fireman carry into a crossface. Tim got to the bottom rope for the break. Tim sent Boris off the top rope with a chop. Boris went for the Iron Claw, but Tim tossed the claw onto Colonel Corn. Tim hit Boris with a top rope Axe Handle Strike for the victory.

Tim Burr defeated Boris Alexiev via pinfall in 6:31.

The “babyface” locker room ran out to celebrate with Tim Burr. Josh Mathews’s character closed the show…

John’s Thoughts: I didn’t think I’d say it, but that was actually a decent if not pretty good match. I’ve brought up Hoodslam’s comedy a lot today, and this is the type of match I see regularly there. Yes, you can have the comedy, but you can also put in good ring-work too. Don’t just hee-haw and phone it in like everyone else. Of course, it would be wrestling machine Josh Alexander that gives you the workrate, but good for him.

Another fun part about the main event was we saw Santino work an actual match and not look “retired”. He looked like a week-to-week wrestler out there as opposed to some of the recent showings where he’s just “greatest hits” into a “cobra”. I hope the guy’s health is okay, and if it is, he might be able to get some decent matches in the future (dream match would be him working a tag with his daughter in WWE). Decent main event aside, this was a gawd awful show. Don’t waste your time watching this. I took the pain for you. I say that because I can’t really figure out the audience for this.

I can’t see 50+ year olds getting laughs out of this. Southpaw was a hit with young people because there was an Adult Swim feel to it. A lot of wrestlers aren’t flexible actors to make up for the bad comedy. Poor Alex Shelley seemed like he was lost. To list the MVPs of the show: Josh Alexander, Scott D’Amore, Ace Austin, Gia Miller, Santino Marilla, and some audience members. Credit to that small pocket of audience members who were playing along with audible cheers (unfortunately there were also confused audience members). Another huge negative was them doing a rip-off of Southpaw and not having Dirty Dango on play-by-play as the lovesick alcoholic!

(As a palette cleaner and better recommendation. I’ll post the first episode from the original Southpaw Regional Wrestling below featuring more entertaining throwbacks from people like John Cena, Chris Jericho, Rhino, Heath, and Dirty Dango. Heck, TJ Perkins was a highlight. There’s about 12 episodes)


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