By Chris Vetter, ProWrestling.net Contributor (@chrisvetter73)
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Glory Pro Wrestling “Ascend” (episode ten)
Premiered November 10, 2023 via YouTube.com
Taped October 25, 2023 in Collinsville, Illinois at The Gateway Center
This was the second episode from this taping and the crowd is maybe 300. Reed Duffy provided solo commentary…
1. Colt Cabana and Dan the Dad defeated “The Outrunners” Turbo Floyd and Truth Magnum at 11:37. They introduced Colt as “Fun Uncle Colt Cabana” as he is wearing a Hawaiian shirt. This the Glory Pro debut for the Outrunners. Dan and Truth opened for their teams but this is clearly going to be nothing but comedy. Colt did airplane spins on each Outrunner at 4:00. In a fun spot, Colt tied the Outrunners’ legs together in a Figure Four.
Reed is laughing so hard he can’t catch his breath; it wasn’t THAT funny. We had some comedy where the Outrunners punched at Dan’s coffee mug. Colt tagged in, holding a beer bottle, and hitting chops with his free hand. He sprayed beer in one of the Outrunners’ eyes. The other Outrunner grabbed the bottle and went to spray it at Colt, but it went into his teammate’s eyes. The Outrunners collided mid-ring; Colt and Dan got stereo rollups for the pin. ALL comedy; Reed Duffy loved this.
* Footage aired of the tag title match last week, where “The Crew” Mike Outlaw and Rahim De La Suede won the titles in an impromptu three-way.
2. Shazza McKenzie defeated Heidi Howitzer at 7:54. Heidi wrestled on the ROH taping that also aired on Thursday, and she towers over Shazza. As noted on the ROH episode, Heidi is dressed much like Max the Impaler, a bit of a savage look. Shazza kept Heidi tied up in the ropes and she hit a stiff kick to the spine at 3:00. Heidi fired back with a high back suplex and they were both down. Heidi hit some running buttbumps into the corner for a nearfall at 6:30. Shazza nailed the Splits Stunner for the pin. Solid match.
* Outside, Dak Draper said he “gets the job done.” Last time, his job was to beat Xavier Walker. He said Xavier shouldn’t take it personally that Dak beat him. We then heard from Xavier, who vowed he was going to “beat Dak’s ass for costing me the crown.”
3. Calvin Tankman (w/Cinco) defeated Kenny Alfonso to retain the Crown of Glory Title at 12:55. Calvin is 350 or so pounds and the scrawny Kenny is certainly under 220 pounds. As Calvin walked to the ring, he told the camera that Kenny is “the next victim on my list.” Calvin splashed him in the corner before the bell; the bell rang about 35 seconds after first contact. Kenny hit a missile dropkick. He went for a dive to the floor but Calvin caught him and slammed Alfonso onto the ring apron at 2:00. In the ring, Calvin was in control. He hip-tossed Alfonso across the ring at 5:00. Kenny fired up and hit some chops and forearms.
Alfonso hit some spin kicks to the chest at 7:30, then an enzuigiri. He went for a dive but Tankman caught him again. However, he shoved Calvin face-first into the ring post. Alfonso then finally nailed a flip dive to the floor at 9:00. In the ring, Alfonso nailed a Frankensteiner, then a frogsplash for a nearfall. Alfonso avoided a spinning back fist and got a rollup for a nearfall at 11:00. Alfonso nailed a Lethal Injection stunner for a nearfall. Cinco hopped on the ring apron to distract the referee, but Tankman accidentally hit Cinco. Tankman hit a low blow mule kick, a clothesline, then the Rikishi Driver sit-out piledriver for the pin.
* The heels beat down on Alfonso, until Camaro Jackson hit the ring and he brawled with Tankman! Camaro hit a bodyslam and Tankman scrambled out of the ring. Camaro got on the mic and he challenged Tankman. Camaro helped Alfonso to his feet and they hugged.
Final Thoughts: A very good main event. I never once thought Alfonso was winning but he had some nice hope spots. Tankman is such a beast and I’m so impressed with him. A solid women’s match, not bad but not must-see either. The opening comedy match will all go your personal tastes. I don’t enjoy watching TV shows with “laugh tracks” or a live studio audience laughing away at jokes I don’t find funny… and Reed Duffy howling and buckling over in laughter at the opening match was a turnoff for me. I don’t mean to sound like I’m bashing Reed, because he did an excellent job calling the main event.
The biggest drawbacks of this episode are the lighting remains so-so at best; I wish they’d just leave the lights on rather than have the wrestlers vanish into the shadows whenever they go to the floor. The other disappointment is no matches were announced for next week’s show.
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