By Jason Powell, ProWrestling.net Editor (@prowrestlingnet)
The following was meant to be my WWE Friday Night Smackdown review. My local Fox affiliate interrupted the broadcast for weather coverage. A few readers asked that I keep this report up, so I’ve moved it to my blog section. My actual Smackdown report is available on the main page.
WWE Friday Night Smackdown
Taped August 13, 2020 in Orlando, Florida at the WWE Performance Center
Aired August 14, 2020 on Fox
Powell’s POV: My local Fox affiliate felt the need to cut into the first ten minutes of the show to let viewers who don’t have windows know that the weather is bad outside. Anyway, there are bad storms in the area, so if I disappear there’s always a chance that it’s power related (hopefully not worse!). My apologies for the inconvenience of missing the first ten minutes, but it was out of my control.
The show picked up with Big E giving a bunch of wrestlers a pep talk, presumably about Retribution. Sheamus seemed to be acting like a douche…
Sasha Banks and Bayley headed to the ring for a promo.
Oh, good, the Fox-9 weather tool is back to let us know that it’s storming outside. They also have a second channel, so they could be telling weather worriers to watch one and then air Smackdown on the other, but noooooooo! Weather Guy needs to be on both channels to point at a radar screen similar to the ones that we could find on our cellphones. But the weather app wouldn’t tell us that the storm is moving through at roughly 25 to 35MPH. I’m bored, so I’ll just keep bitching and covering Smackdown when they let me, and at some point I’ll be able to watch Smackdown in full and my hate report of the weather updates will be replaced, so enjoy it while it lasts.
Weather tool just said they are going back to Smackdown. Nope, they changed their minds. “I’m going to apologize, kinda,” weather boy said. “Some things are more important.” Lies! Tell people to go to their damn basements or not. We don’t need you, television hijacker.
Powell’s POV: I’m cursing myself, right? It’s been a good run. Good luck with the virus if this is the end of the road for me.
My gosh, the storm was moving through at a certain speed, but then it reached a certain place on the map and stopped. Oh, the humanity of a thunder storm. Okay, so there are tornadoes in some places, but not where the storm stopped. Now parts of the thunderstorm from hell are in Wisconsin. If this is the end for you, I’m sorry about all of the terrible things that I’ve said about your state and pro football team, cheeseheads. Let the record show that I never disliked the Milwaukee Brewers, though I was happy when the Twins took two of three from them earlier this week.
Holy balls, they have images of lightning bolts on the screen. “These are places that are all under the weather gun,” weather boy said. Yes, the weather gun. Thoughts and prayers for those affected by the weather gun. We should ban assault weather guns, but the NRA is just too powerful.
Hennepin County has been dropped from the warning. Minneapolis is spared. The city has been through enough shit this year, so thank you, weather gods.
The storm is near Ridgedale Mall. Has a mall ever survived a thunderstorm?!? Pray for the mall.
Weather Guy has turned things over to Weather Gal, who is checking in from her home. I suspect she looks nice up top, but is wearing sweatpants that we can’t see. She’s been living through a pandemic for months and has done countless reports from home, yet she still has the same cheap earbuds that came with her dated phone (me too).
Weather Gal looked out her window. In a shocking development, it’s raining and there is actually thunder and lightning. I repeat, it’s raining and and there is both thunder and lightning!!! Give this woman a local Emmy Award for outstanding reporting done from a living room.
Weather Gal ran out of things to say about an ordinary thunderstorm, so she announced that we are going back to our regularly scheduled programming. And it’s just in time for a commercial!!! Imagine that.
Hey, it’s Nikki Cross, so we’re back to regular coverage until another city falls under the WEATHER GUN. Cross was giddy when she saw Alexa Bliss, but Bliss wasn’t pleased to see her.
I know just how Bliss feels because… Weather Guy is back!!! Yes, they aired the commercials and one brief backstage clip, then went back to the studio for coverage of the thunderstorm of the century. Weather Guy just got cocky while telling viewers, “We’re here until at least 8 pm.” That’s eleven minutes from now, so you know this is serious!
There’s now a graphic box around Minneapolis and St. Paul. Weather Guy told us that Minneapolis was safe. Swerve! What a heel turn on Minneapolis. Now they are showing footage of the storm. Weather Guy said it might look like a tornado, but it’s not! It’s a Rain Shock (or something like that).
Weather Girl wanted to check in, but her super high tech earbud phone mic wasn’t working. Wait, she’s back, so she remembered to plug in the cord this time. She said there’s going to be a lot of rain. OH…MY…GOD!!!
Pray for me. My city is now inside their graphic box. It’s not in the tornado warning box, but it is inside another graphic box. Not a box! Anything but a box! This can’t be good. It might actually start raining on my house soon.
The tornado warning has been allowed to expire early! “It’s gone, we don’t have that anymore in the downtown metro area,” Weather Guy said. Okay, so that really is good news. Isn’t it time to go back to Smackdown just in time for a commercial break, play one quick segment, then cut back to Weather Guy for a big update?
Even better news. Weather Guy says we’re all safe as long as we stay away from our windows. If only I could resist licking them.
Oh, no, my city is officially under the WEATHER GUN!!! It’s happening. It’s going to rain soon. Tell my family that I loved them. Well, most of them. Okay, some of them. A few of them? Are we talking immediate or extended family?
It’s dark in my neighborhood, yet 20 miles away, somehow there’s a yellowish hue that Weather Guy is showing off. He now suggests we don’t go outside to take pictures. But I wanna! The next thing you know this bossy prick will tell me to wear a mask when I’m in public. Wait, that’s a good thing. Wear your damn masks and socially distance, people!
THUNDER!!! RAIN!!! LIGHTNING!!! My dog Ada has officially entered panicked panting mode. My other dog Bitty couldn’t care less about storms. Don’t worry, my lady is comforting Ada. They all know how important it is that I continue to document the coverage of this storm coverage in place of Smackdown coverage.
Corded earbud wearing Weather Gal is back from her home. Somehow, she survived this thunderstorm.
There was loud thunder. My girlfriend just let out a nervous yell. Ada, it’s your turn to provide comfort. Do your job, dog!
Remember when Weather Guy told us not to go outside and take pictures? Yeah, the station is now airing video footage that some dude named Bill filmed from his car and sent to them. Um…
That’s it. I’m doing it. I’m going out there. I’m going to stand on my front steps to get a firsthand look at this monster. Someday they will make a movie about my bravery. And then a crap ass sequel if the first film does well at the box office. I recommend Sloth from The Goonies for the lead role. Wow, that dated reference could be my last dated reference.
“Crazy thing is, it’s true. The Thunder. The Lighting – all of it. It’s all true.” – Han Solo (kinda).
This is insanity. The wind was blowing lightly, it was sprinkling a bit, and there was thunder and lightning in the distance. I haven’t seen a storm of this magnitude since Sunday night.
While I braved the elements, I noticed that one of my neighbors is also watching storm coverage. I wonder if he’s pissed that Smackdown isn’t on? I wonder if he’s reading this report? I wonder if he’s calling the cops because now he thinks I’m a peeper? He has a big TV and I couldn’t miss it when I turned to walk back into the house. Don’t judge me!
Hey, more footage from a storm chaser after Weather Guy told viewers not to go out and take pictures.
Weather Gal is talking with a woman who lives in an area where some branches fell. Not big branches, just some smaller twigs that cars are driving right over. Thank goodness she took Weather Guy’s advice and stayed in her home during the storm. Had she ignored him, one of those branches could have fallen on her and caused a very minor scratch.
Powell’s POV: Overall, the hosts did a tremendous job of building up this storm as a huge main event, but it just didn’t live up to the hype. I will not be by with my audio review later tonight because I couldn’t actually watch Smackdown. I will see it eventually and then I’ll record the audio review for members. I give the storm of the century *1/4 stars.
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