3/3 Impact Wrestling TV Results: Moore’s review of Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie for the Impact World Championship, Havok vs. Su Yung in a No DQ match, Ethan Page and Josh Alexander vs. TJP and Fallah Bahh in a non-title match, Moose vs. Petey Williams, Joey Ryan vs. Ace Romero

By John Moore, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)

Impact Wrestling TV
Taped February 7-9 in Las Vegas as Sam’s Town Live

Aired March 3, 2020 on AXS TV

[Hour One] The opening teaser video had narration hyping the all female world championship match. This was followed by the Impact intro theme…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis were on commentary…

1. Impact Tag Team Champions “The North” All Ego Ethan Page and Josh Alexander vs. Fallah Bahh and TJ Perkins in a non-title match. Bahh and Alexander started off the match. Page’s distraction gave The North the early lead. Bahh did a cartwheel between the North and took both down with a lariat after Page tagged in. Perkins tagged in and hit Page with a lifted double stomp. Bahh hit Page with a crossbody to give Perkins a two count. Alexander tagged in and took a body slam from Bahh. Page held Perkins in place to allow Alexander to hit Perkins with a Blue Thunder Bomb. Page got a two count.

The North cut the ring in half on Perkins with quick tags and methodical offense. The North dominated Perkins for a good few minutes. Perkins escaped a body slip with a flip donkey kick. Perkins hit Alexander with a tornado DDT. Bahh got the hot tag. Alexander tagged in. Bahh hit Alexander with a corner splash and hip attack followed by a Samoan Drop. Alexander hit Bahh with an enzuigiri. Bahh then no sold Alexander’s punches by Bahh-ing up. Page broke up Bahh’s sitout power bomb pin attempt. Perkins tagged in. Page broke up a Poetry in Motion attempt by tripping up Perkins. This caused Mathews to reference the Hardy Boyz. The North hit Perkins with a double power bomb for a two count.

Bahh took Page to ringside and hit him with a superkick. Perkins hit Alexander with a huracanrana followed by a rolling sobat. Bahh held up Alexander. Page staggered Perkins on the top rope with a boot. Page hit Bahh with a cutter. The North pummeled Bahh with wombo combo punches. The North were going for their Double Neutralizer finisher but Perkins jumped off the top rope to roll up Alexander with a Jackknife Pin. Perkins picked up the win.

Fallah Bahh and TJ Perkins defeated the North via pinfall in 9:09.

Mathews noted that Bahh and Perkins are in line for a tag team title opportunity after beating The North in two singles matches and a tag team match…[c]

John’s Thoughts: A strong opening tag match. This is probably the best Bahh and Perkins have looked as a tag team. While this match was good, it looks like they’re clearly building towards a decisive North victory in the tag team title match. That said, I give them credit for using a formula to put steam behind the Bahh and Perkins tag team. Bahh and Perkins are great in the ring. Their only weakness is lack of on-air chemistry in terms of personality (in comparison to Bahh’s other pairings).

Gabby Loren interviewed Tessa Blanchard at the interview set. Tessa noted that Taya beat Tessa about a year ago for the Knockouts Championship, but this current Tessa is not the Tessa from a year ago. Tessa said the current Tessa is a world champion. Tessa talked about how this was a historic night when two women face each other for the championship. Eddie Edwards interrupted the interview and said he respects Tessa. Eddie said since he respects Tessa he feels like he has to tell Tessa that Tessa has him to look forward to as the next title contender. Eddie said when he retains his Call Your Shot trophy against Elgin, he’s calling his shot at a world title shot at Rebellion. Tessa said he’d see Eddie there…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis checked in from the commentary table. Josh ran through upcoming segments…

2. Moose vs. Petey Williams. Josh Mathews noted that Moose is yet to win a championship in Impact Wrestling (But he has? Under both the Jarrett and Dixie creative regime as the Grand Champion). Petey went for an early Destroyer but Moose escaped with a backdrop. Moose dominated for a sequence. The commentators talked about how Moose was a part of Tom Brady’s offensive line. Petey countered the Go To Hell with a big boot. Moose came right back with a big boot heading into the break.[c]

Petey caught Moose wtih a few suicide dives while Moose was showboating. Petey hit Moose with a plancha into a huracanrana. Petey hit Moose with a slingshot codebreaker. Moose backtossed Petey out of the ring. Petey got back in the ring, nearly losing via countout. Moose went back on offense. Moose called Petey a clown. Callis noted that Moose is the one wearing yellow boots and a red headband. Petey countered a power bomb with a DDT. Petey hit Moose with a legsweep and Flatliner. Petey went for a Destroyer, but Moose escaped and gave Petey Snake Eyes. Petey got a two count off a rollup. Moose slammed Petey to the mat. Moose hit the Spear on Petey for the win.

Moose defeated Petey Williams via pinfall in 7:00 of on-air TV Time.

John’s Thoughts: A good match, but Moose is clearly in wheel spinning mode with a bunch of “filler” feuds. He’s coming off a feud against ECW guys followed by a feud involving guys with animal based names. I’m guessing that’s one consequence of having Tessa Blanchard as world champion? Right now it looks like Moose is in a feud against TNA. When you really think about it, is it really such an “evil” thing to not be fond of TNA?

This week’s Impact Wrestling Flashback Match of the week was Kid Kash vs. Amazing Red for the Impact X Division Championship from an episode of NWA-TNA Impact back in 2003…[c]

Madison Rayne was coaching a bunch of random women backstage. She had them doing squats. Rayne kicked out the lady she beat a few weeks ago. She also kicked out a lady in a dress who was just standing there. Kiera Hogan showed up and acted baffled at what Rayne was doing. Rayne called this training session the Golden Opportunity Gut Check Boot Camp. Rayne noted that she’s trying to cultivate a new generation of Knockotus and Kiera didn’t follow the plan. One unnamed woman stood up to defend Rayne causing Kiera to leave…

3. Joey Ryan vs. Acey Romero. Joey had second thoughts when initially trying to get Acey to touch his penis, but eventually he did try to drag Acey’s hand there. The commentary team also noted that Joey didn’t pour oil down his trunks this time. Acey missed a senton on Joey, but was able to plant Joey with a shotgun dropkick. Acey was staggered and staggered around like a cartoon before falling head first into Joey’s dick. Josh noted that Joey has magical powers.

Joey worked on Acey with slow paced offense. Acey sold knee pain after having Joey’s dick hit his knee off the Atomic Drop. Acey managed to turn the tide and hit Joey with a crossbody. Acey hit Joey with the Ho Train. Joey fought off Acey with elbows. After a struggle, Joey managed to get his trunk sucker in Acey’s mouth. Acey blocked Joey’s subsequent signature superkick. Acey took a bite out of the sucker. Joey then managed to get Acey’s hand on his dick for the dick suplex. Joey had second thoughts and decided not to do his flexing spot. Joey being conflicted allowed Acey to escape, slam Joey to the mat, and hit Joey with a flying elbow drop for the victory.

Acey Romero defeated Joey Ryan via pinfall in 5:12.

The commentary team pointed out that Joey cost himself the match by not using his penis super powers that beat the biggest names in pro wrestling…

John’s Thoughts: I guess it’s progress. It looks like they’re telling a story about Joey Ryan moving away from his formula penis match which he’s been replicating for over three years in every one of his matches. While the story they’re telling doesn’t really make sense (there isn’t any real vitriol towards his stale penis match), at least we might get Joey Ryan actually trying to tell stories between the bells as opposed to going with the motions of his stale formula. Good for him. Not so good for Acey, who looked really bad selling Joey’s penis like he was some sort of cartoon character.

Disco Inferno and Johnny Swinger were bragging showing off in front of Willie Mack that they are about to beat The Deaners later in the show. Swinger said once he and Disco beat the ham and egger Deaners, they’re coming after Willie and whoever Willie can find as a tag partner. Mack wondered if Swinger and Disco’s tag team name would be “The Swinging Disco Balls”. Mack said he doesn’t need a partner to beat Swinger and Disco. Mack walked away. Disco said Mack was a schmuck for coming up with that degrading tag team name. Swinger said he liked the name and was off to find a guy to print the merch…[c]

Rob Van Dam approached Joey Ryan and Katie Forbes who were chatting. Katie said Joey totally empathizes with her and Rob in regards to fans being two-faced in the arena and on social medial. Katie and Rob kissed while Joey told Katie that he’s glad Joey and Katie have each other…

[Hour Two] Jessika Havok made her entrance. Josh Mathews noted Havok is a former Knockouts Champion…

4. Jessika Havok vs. Su Yung in a no-DQ match. Su brought a noose to the ring. Havok dominated early on with punches. Su came back with a sidestep and rising palm strikes. Havok shoved Su away when Su tried to tie her neck with the noose. Su hit Havok with a suicide dive at ringside. Su hit Havok with a cannonball from the apron. Havok countered Old School, slammed Su several times into the ringpost, then gave Su a Samoan Drop on the ramp. Havok took her time filling the ring with your usual pro wrestling weapons.

Su sidestepped Havok, sending Havok crashing into the stairs at ringside. Havok blocked a PK and gave Su Snake Eyes on the steps. Su and Havok had a chair duel. Havok took Su and herself out after executing a big boot. Havok and Su Yung traded forearms. Su hit Havok with a series of palm strikes. Su hit Havok with a high knee for a two count. Havok dragged Su to the top rope. Su raked Havok’s eyes to send Havok back down. Su put a trash can on Havok and hit Havok with a missile dropkick.

Su wrapped the noose on Havok’s neck. Havok fought Su off and gave Su a lariat. Havok then used the noose to tie Su’s hands to the second rope. Su caught Havok with a red mist. Su gave Havok the mandible claw with the “bloody” glove. Havok fought Su off. Su took down Havok with kendo stick strikes. Su then gave Havok the mandible claw while choking her with the noose. Havok passed out.

Su Yung defeated Jessika Havok via ref stoppage 9:39.

The undead bridesmaids brought out a “coffin” (which was moreso a giant wooden box this time as opposed to the coffin/caskets they were using at one point). Josh Mathews was excited to see that the undead bridesmaids were back. Su used the noose to drag Havok up the ramp. Su then put Havok in the giant wooden box. Josh said that Su is sending Havok to the undead realm. Havok got her hand in the way to prevent Su from closing it. Havok tossed one bridesmaid into the box and walked away…

They cut to Jimmy Jacobs interviewing Rosemary with weird ambient background noise. Jacobs told Rosemary that Rosemary must be excited at seeing the last match. Rosemary spoke in her usual rhetoric and said that all this was supposed to bring “The Bunny” back (well? The Bunny is on television as a manager on AEW Dynamite and Dark). Rosemary continued to talk in her gibberish before walking off…[c]

John’s Thoughts: People always credited Vince McMahon with the bad booking of Bray Wyatt as some sort of supernatural “magician” over the years. I wonder if some of that blame needs to go to Jimmy Jacobs because we’re seeing worse supernatural scriptwriting here on Impact.

5. Johnny Swinger and Disco Inferno vs. “The Deaners” Cody Deaner and Cousin Jake. Josh Mathews noted that The Deaners hail from Winsdor, Ontario, Canada. Jake used his power to manhandle Disco early on. Jake tagged in Cody and body slammed Cody on Disco. Johnny tagged in. Cody dominated Johnny with a wrist lock. Jake gave Johnny a gutbuster on Cody’s leg. Disco showed Johnny that he had a roll of quarters in his pocket. Disco hit Cody with the quarter while the referee was distracted by Jake. Cody sold throat pain. Johnny also punched Cody with the quarters.

Swinger dominated Cody for a few minutes. Cody managed to get a window of opportunity after hitting Johnny with a lariat. Disco then hit Cody with Russian Legsweep. Disco missed the YMCA Elbow. Johnny and Jake tagged in. Jake cleaned house before tagging Cody back in. Disco kicked Jake’s leg. Cody ducked Disco’s loaded punch, causing Disco to clock Johnny with the quarters. Cody hit Johnny with a DDT for the win.

The Deaners defeated Johnny Swinger and The Disco Inferno via pinfall in 4:52.

The ICU hacker graphics and QR code interrupted the Deaners celebration…[c]

John’s Thoughts: A middle-of-the-road comedy match. I actually think there could have been fun comedy potential if Disco and Swinger had time to build up their Quarter-based offense over the span of weeks on television; but because we rarely get Disco on television outside of Vegas, we can only assume that Disco is guest-starring on this show temporarily. This Disco Inferno run in Impact has been a bit underwhelming compared to his prior two stellar runs. The other two were stellar due to Disco having substancial in-ring promos and fun cinematics.

They aired the latest episode of not-Global-Forged, Gut Check. John E Bravo is still pissed that people don’t know how to get up. I fast forwarded about 3 minutes. The segment ended with Scott D’Amore saying to “screw gut check, we’re not going to sign any of them”…

John’s Thoughts: Wow, you know your segment sucks when the guy writing the segments says that the segment is pointless. Only in TNA. Maybe this is another homage to crappy TNA writing.

A video package aired with highlights of past Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie matches over the Knockouts Championship…

Gabby Loren interviewed Taya Valkyrie who cut a promo on Tessa. Taya called Tessa’s run all-hype. Taya said Tessa is a master manipulator in getting what she wants. Taya said the fairy tale of Tessa is over and here the bad guy wins…

Entrances for the main event took place…[c]

6. Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie (w/John E Bravo) for the Impact World Championship. Taya allowed for Tessa to soak in cheers early in the match. Tessa dominated early on with early strikes. Taya hit Tessa with a Belly to Back suplex. Taya hit Tessa with a punch combination. Tessa put Taya on the second rope and hit her with a series of kicks. Taya hit Tessa with a dropkick when John E distracted Tessa. The show cut to another Eddie Money commercial.[c]

Taya dominated Tessa back from the break. Taya hit Tessa with her signature corner meteora. Tessa slammed Taya into the ringpost and followed up by hitting Taya with a suicide dive. Tessa dropkicked the steps when Taya sidestepped Tessa. Taya hit Tessa with her surfboard curb stomp for a two count. Josh Mathews noted that Taya was constantly distracted by the crowd cheering for Tessa. Tessa managed to take advantage of the distracted Taya with a neckbreaker. Taya and Tessa had a fighting spirit strong style exchange. Tessa had the upper hand with forearms. Taya came back with a low kick.

Tessa planted Taya with a samoan drop and huracanrana. Taya caught Tessa with a big boot. Tessa tripped up Taya and hit Taya with a lungblower. Taya kicked out at two. Taya caught Tessa out of nowhere with a spear. Taya slammed Tessa into the mat several times. Tessa kicked out of a jackknife pin attempt. Tessa hit Taya with a power bomb and superkick for a two count. Taya countered a DDT with a Northern Lights Suplex and double stomp for a nearfall. Tessa escaped a Road to Valhalla attempt and hit Taya with a neckbreaker.

Taya dodged a Magnum attempt. John E jawed with Tessa a bit. Taya accidentally knocked John E off the apron. Tessa rolled up Taya for a two count. Tessa dodged two Taya roundhouse kicks. Tessa countered Taya with a headscissors. Tessa hit Taya with the Hammerlock DDT for the victory.

Tessa Blanchard defeated Taya Valkyrie via pinfall in 11:30 of on-air TV Time to retain the Impact World Championship.

Tessa posed at the top of the ramp to close the show…

John’s Thoughts: The match was wrestled well enough but Impact never took the time to make Taya Valkyrie seem like a threat to take the world title off of Tessa. In fact, they kinda made Josh out to be a corporate shill by laying it on too thick with all the “historic” talk in a short amount of time. The best aspects of this match were the high-energy middle portion and the energy of the crowd. Aside from that, this was more of a padding match for Tessa’s title reign. We’ve also seen better matches between Taya and Tessa when you want to have a point of comparison (which Impact spotlighted in the video package right before this match).

Overall, a skippable episode of Impact. Not a terrible episode, but aside from the fun tag match to open the show, everything else failed to really stand out. That’s kinda the story these days with Impact. I think the most memorable part of this night was all the Eddie Money commercials.


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