By Jason Powell
Ring of Honor Global Wars
Aired live on the FITE TV app
Villa Park, Illinois at Odeum Expo Center
A video package opened the show and featured talent from ROH and New Japan Pro Wrestling. It closed with footage of Kenny Omega… The broadcast team of Ian Riccaboni and BJ Whitmer checked in on commentary from a spot near the stage. They hyped the double main event…
Riccaboni set up the opening tag match. However, ROH Champion Cody made his entrance instead. Cody took the mic from ring announcer Bobby Cruise and delivered a promo to the receptive crowd. Cody mentioned multiple people within the company who thanked him earlier in the day. The fans chanted ‘thank you, Cody.”
Cody said he was thanked because the Global Wars tour was the most successful and lucrative in the history of the company. Cody recalled reading a tweet that got under his skin (Roman Reigns balked at Cody claiming he’s the top draw in wrestling). Cody took a couple of jabs at Reigns by saying that he thought the tactical vest he wears was covering his gut and a failed drug test.
Cody decided to have former ROH owner Cary Silkin kiss his ring. When Silkin balked, Cody said he was going to have a fan enter the ring and kiss his ring. Cody pointed out a masked fan he acknowledged when he first came out and had him join him in the ring.
Cody decided to go live on The Elite web series with the fan. The muscular fan unmasked and revealed himself to be Dalton Castle. Castle attacked Cody, who ended up fleeing the ring. The fans chanted Castle’s name to end the segment…
Powell’s POV: A nice start to the show with Cody taking some jabs at Reigns and relaunching his feud with Castle, who’d been sidelined by an injury. By the way, the venue looks really good on television and the crowd is hot thus far.
1. Trent Baretta and Chuckie T vs. Silas Young and Beer City Bruiser. The heel duo of Young and Bruiser blew off the handshake offer from the “Best Friends” tag team. Baretta and T performed some comedically light moves after big buildups. The crowd played along with a “holy shit” chant.
At 9:30, Bruiser performed an Avalanche on T for a near fall. Less than a minute later, Baretta avoided a top rope splash from Bruiser. Baretta performed a running knee to the head and then a piledriver for a two count. Baretta went for a piledriver on the apron, but Bruiser fought it off and took him out with a cannonball off the apron. In the ring, T hit Sole Food on Young. He ran the ropes and Bruiser hit him with a keg from behind. Young performed Misery on T for the win…
Silas Young and Beer City Bruiser beat Trent Baretta and Chuckie T in 12:55.
Powell’s POV: A good tag team opener with the live crowd into the babyface duo. Young and Bruiser going over makes sense given that Young is in the middle of a feud with Jay Lethal. Will Chuck Taylor ever get promo time in ROH?
2. Marty Scurll vs. Hiromu Takahashi (w/Daryl). Riccaboni said the all-time ROH vs. NJPW record is 52-51-1. Takahashi had a nice entrance with pyro and brought the stuffed cat Daryl with him. He held up a photo from Daryl’s wedding to another stuffed animal. Takahashi connected with a great running knee of the apron a few minutes into the match.
At 5:00, Scurll took Daryl and did the, well, paw breaking spot. Scurll ran Daryl into Takahashi. The crowd played along with a “you suck f—” chant. Funny. At 11:00, Takahashi covered Scurll while using the ropes for leverage, but the referee spotted it. Both men ended up bickering at the ref and then traded slaps to the chest. Takahashi followed up with a running sunset flip powerbomb off the apron.
Back inside the ring, Takahashi performed one of his finishing moves, but Scurll kicked out at the last moment. Scurll came back with a lariat that turned Takahashi inside out. He set up for his chicken wing finisher, but Takahashi avoided it. Moments later, Scurll was able to apply the hold and won by submission…
Marty Scurll beat Hiromu Takahashi in 14:25.
Powell’s POV: A good match and both guys were over with the live crowd. Takahashi is terrific and I still don’t understand why ROH creative ever took the ROH TV Title off Scurll. This is Scurll’s biggest televised win in ROH in some time.
3. Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian vs. Kushida and Cheeseburger. There was some early comedy with Kushida and Cheeseburger not going over for sunset flips and instead dancing and then applying cross arm breakers. Daniels came back with an Arabian moonsault on Cheeseburger and then put his foot on him for a cover that resulted in a two count.
Later, Kushida placed his “hoverboard” on the top rope and leapt off it for a move on Kazarian. The Addiction came right back with their Celebrity Rehab finisher. The feed froze briefly. When it returned a short time later, the Addiction were being named the winners and Cheeseburger appeared to take the pinfall.
Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian beat Kushida and Cheeseburger.
After the match, Daniels and Kazarian set up a table with the plan of putting Cheeseburger through it. However, Bully Ray came out and ended up chokeslamming Kazarian through the table while Daniels was mugging outside the ring.
Bully Ray raised the hands of the babyfaces before they left the ring. Bully took the mic and said he wasn’t planning on coming out and doing that. He laughed as he recalled being in the same building in 1999 and lighting a table on fire with Devon.
“As I’m sure most of you know by now, it’s about that time for me,” Ray said. “Listen, it’s time.” The fans chanted no. Bully said that for the first time he has to worry about his health and himself. The fans gave him a standing ovation. Bully tipped his cap to the crowd, which responded with “thank you, Bubba” chants.
Bully bowed to the crowd and said it doesn’t get any better than that. Bully thanked the fans. He said he doesn’t think the fans understand. He said Chicago is one of his favorite places to wrestle. Bully broke off a piece of the table and called for a young fan to join him in the ring. Bully said the kid’s name was Chase and had the fans say hi to him.
Bully told Chase that he represents every fan he’s ever been in front of during his life. Bully said it’s hard to thank everyone, so Chase is representing them all. Bully said thank you and then hugged Chase. Bully gave Chase a piece of the table, saying it was “most definitely the last table I will ever break.”
Bully had Chase hold the table piece in the air for the fans. Bully apologized for taking so much time. He said he always knew ROH was a place he wanted to be and that they were a perfect fit. He said if this is his last day, he wants to thank God for letting him step foot in an ROH ring…
Powell’s POV: The tag match was light comedy with the more serious duo going over. The post match angle with Bully Ray was tremendous. He’s played the asshole role so well over the years, but he definitely knows how to charm a crowd as a babyface.
The broadcast team spoke about the success of the Global Wars tour and thanked the fans…
4. Cody, “The Young Bucks” Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson, and Hangman Page vs. “Search and Destroy” Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jonathan Gresham, and Jay White. The babyfaces received a polite reaction from the crowd, while the Bullet Club members got the bigger pop. The fans sang “f— the Revival.” Matt teased doing the Too Sweet hand gesture, but then acted like his fingers wouldn’t cooperate. Funny. Fans at ringside wore “censored” on their fingers.
Cody ran up the ropes and performed a big leap onto his opponents on the floor. Page followed up with a great dive of his own. Matt performed a running flip off the stage, over the steps, and onto a couple of opponents. Back in the ring, Gresham got the better of Nick and was joined by his team in putting boots to him. The crowd booed. The Search and Destroy group did the Too Sweet gesture to loud boos. Funny.
At 12:00, the Bucks and Page applied Sharpshooters. White actually applied a Sharpshooter of his own on Cody. The Bucks double superkicked him and then the Bullet Club members all applied Sharpshooters. Fun spot. Page performed his shooting star press into an Indy Taker spot.
Gresham ended up in the ring with all four Bullet Club members. He fought them off temporarily, but he ended up being superkicked. Page performed the the Rite of Passage finisher and pinned pinned Gresham…
Cody, Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, and Hangman Page defeated Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jonathan Gresham, and Jay White in 14:25.
The broadcast team announced the 15-minute intermission. A graphic appeared on the screen that simply said they would return after the intermission. The screen went green for a bit, then we had a fuzzy shot of the ring, then were were back to a Global Wars graphic, and eventually the intermission graphic appeared again…
Powell’s POV: The eight-man tag match was the usual Bucks style spot-fest. Page had a really good showing with his signature spots. He seems to wrestle with much more confidence in ROH than he has when I’ve seen him work New Japan shows. It was nice to see the Search & Destroy guys were ready for the crowd turn on them, as they responded with some great heat generating bits including the too sweet hand gestures. All of that said, I’m happy this wasn’t the show’s main event given that there was nothing at stake.
5. “The Dawgs” Rhett Titus and Will Ferrara vs. Justin Pusser and Brian Johnson (w/Miss Jasmine). Neither team received much of a reaction for the unadvertised match. Titus slapped his partner in the dick and then picked him up in suplex position and dropped him face first onto Pusser for a two count. Titus and Ferrara performed a double team move on Johnson for the win…
Rhett Titus and Will Ferrara beat Justin Pusser and Brian Johnson in 5:00.
After the match, Jay Briscoe showed up and Titus and Ferrara ran away. Briscoe beat up Pusser and Johnson. Riccaboni questioned why Briscoe was attacking them. “Because he wants to,” Whitmer said. Jay performed the Jay Driller on Johnson.
As referee Todd Sinclair was helping Pusser and Johnson to the back, Jay barked at him to “turn those bitches around.” Jay told them to wipe their feet before they step foot in his house. Jay addressed his brother Mark, saying they need to get back to being the baddest team on the planet. He said Mark has been worried about the TV Title and Six-Man Titles, but all it got him was a spot at home with a “busted elbow.” Jay told Mark to heal up because it’s time for the Briscoes to “take this shit over”…
Powell’s POV: The tag team popcorn match was apparently a showcase for the new Dawgs tag team. The live crowd didn’t really care, but some barked along at different points. This may be a four-hour show at the rate this is going.
Shane Taylor made his entrance to a flat reaction. He picked up the mic and said he gets paid to fight and put people down. He said one of the biggest paydays in the world is when you set foot in the ring with Suzuki-gun. He said he was cashing in because of Mark Briscoe’s injury. Taylor said ROH officials made him Jay Lethal and Kenny King’s partner whether they like it or not…
6. Jay Lethal, Kenny King, and Shane Taylor vs. Minoru Suzuki, Davey Boy Smith Jr., and Lance Archer. Lethal and King offered handshakes while Taylor held up a fist. Suzuki, Smith, and Archer shook hands with their opponents only to attack them to start the match.
Lethal delivered a hard slap to the face of Suzuki early on. They ended up trading chops. Suzuki laughed at Lethal in response to one of his chops. Suzuki chopped Lethal, who went down, then got up, spat on his hand, and hit Suzuki, who no-sold it. Suzuki asked Lethal for one more. Suzuki laughed in response to the chop. He called for another. Suzuki again no-sold it. Suzuki ended up kicking Lethal’s chest and knocking him to ringside.
Late in the match, Suzuki applied a sleeper on Taylor. After failing to get him up twice earlier, Suzuki performed his piledriver on Taylor and pinned him. Afterward, Suzuki had the referee raise his arm and then kicked him…
Minoru Suzuki, Davey Boy Smith Jr., and Lance Archer defeated Jay Lethal, Kenny King, and Shane Taylor in 16:50.
Powell’s POV: The Lethal and Suzuki exchange was the highlight of the match. The broadcast team tried to put over Taylor for stepping up in a big match event though he lost the match for his team.
The broadcast team spoke set up the next match. Riccaboni said he would be impartial (due to his usual color commentator wrestling)…
7. Colt Cabana vs. Toru Yano. Cabana received the big hometown reaction. Yano and Cabana traded their respective DVDs. Yano tossed Colt’s to ringside. When Colt went to pick it up Yano rolled him up for two. Colt tossed Yano’s DVD into the crowd and returned the rollup favor. They got their DVDs back. Yano sold his to a fan, while Colt gave his away.
Yano pulled off the turnbuckle pad in one of the corners. Cabana stood on the apron. Yano wanted him back in the ring, but Cabana declined. “No means no,” Cabana said. Cabana ended up with the pad, but Yano ducked it and grabbed another. They had a turnbuckle pad battle. Cabana got the better of it by knocking Yano’s out of his hand. Yano begged Cabana to give it back. Colt tossed it into the air and then struck Yano in the gut with his own pad.
Colt ended up having his head run into both exposed turnbuckles repeatedly. It’s a comedy match, so he was right back up moments later. Cabana and Yano shoved the referee back and forth while saying “okay” each time. Referee Todd Sinclair went down. When Cabana checked on him, Yano low blowed Cabana.
Yano brought tape into the match and wrapped Cabana’s wrists, then pulled off another turnbuckle pad. Yano charged at Cabana with the pad, but Cabana blocked it with his elbow and ended up getting the win…
Colt Cabana pinned Toru Yano.
Powell’s POV: They killed the head into the exposed turnbuckle spot forever (okay, so maybe just for the next two matches). This was fun. The crowd loved Cabana and the comedy antics between the two were highly entertaining. The only thing funnier I’ll see on television tonight is Curb Your Enthusiasm. Maybe.
8. Flip Gordon vs. Will Ospreay. The wrestlers shook hands before the match. Ospreay applied an octopus hold and posed and smiled for the fans. He also delivered a pitch for something. Ospreay controlled the early offense. Gordon knocked him off the ropes and then performed an insane corkscrew dive at 9:45. Unfortunately, ROH didn’t run an immediate replay. Back inside the ring, Gordon performed a combination of moves that concluded with a moonsault for a two count.
At 11:50, Gordon performed a spingboard cutter and both men stayed down on the mat while the crowd roared in approval. Ospreay came back with a big kick and a followup move for a near fall. Ospreay went for his springboard moonsault, but Gordon avoided it and performed a great 450 splash for an excellent near fall. The fans chanted “fight forever.”
Ospreay got a great near fall off a big flip move onto Gordon, who was hung up in the ropes. Ospreay followed up with an OsCutter (springboard cutter) for the win. After the match, Ospreay helped Gordon to his feet. They bowed to one another and shook hands…
Will Ospreay defeated Flip Gordon in 15:20.
Powell’s POV: This was as good as expected and then some. This was Gordon’s most high profile match to date and he shined. Riccaboni put it over as a stark making performance despite the loss. Here’s hoping that ROH creative has big things planned for him and this isn’t quickly forgotten like the excellent Ospreay vs. Jay White match that took place on pay-per-view earlier this year.
9. Kenny Omega vs. Yoshi-Hashi for the IWGP United States Championship. Omega received the big star reaction from the live crowd. Whitmer gave Omega credit for selling out the building. Bobby Cruise delivered in-ring introductions for the title match. Yoshi-Hashi was booed. Many in the crowd stood for Omega and sang the elite song.
Yoshi-Hashi worked over Omega at ringside and ran him into the barricade. Omega came back and set up a table against the barricade, but Yoshi-Hashi reversed his suplex attempt. Yoshi-Hashi remained in offensive control back inside the ring until Omega face planted him.
Yoshi-Hashi rebounded again and was in offensive control for a few minutes. The fans did the Terminator clap and Omega performed a big dive over the top. Omega put Yoshi-Hashi through the table that was still propped against the barricade. Back inside the ring, Omega slapped Yoshi-Hashi onto his knee and got a two count.
Yoshi-Hashi caught Omega with a DDT around 16:00 and followed up with a powerbomb into a sunset flip for a two count. Omega pushed Yoshi-Hashi into the referee, causing Todd Sinclair to fall through the ropes. REF BUMP!!!
Marty Scurll and the Young Bucks ran out and were setting up for a double superkick when Omega cut them off. They huddled together and Omega called for ten boots. Cody and Hangman Page ran out. The Bullet Club members got together in the corner and stuck their boots out. Omega tried to run him into the boots, but Yoshi-Hashi stopped it.
Will Ospreay, Flip Gordon, Chuck Tayor, and Baretta ran out and set up their boots in the opposite corner. Omega and Yoshi-Hashi fought in the middle of the ring and the Bullet Club members led the crowd in a “ten boots” chant. Omega eventually ran Yoshi-Hashi into the Bullet Club boots and then into the other corner’s boots. Omega performed a powerbomb and got a two count.
Omega followed up and had the pin, but Toru Yano pulled the referee from the ring. Baretta performed a Dude Buster on Omega. Page took out Baretta. The Bucks got involved, but Yano low blowed both men. Scurll took out Yano. The rapid fire spots continued with the other guys and culminated with an Ospreay dive onto a group of wrestlers and Nick Jackson performing a big dive that drove Gordon through a table. A short time later, Omega hit Yoshi-Hashi with a knee to the head and hit the One Winged Angel for the win…
Kenny Omega defeated Yoshi-Hashi to retain the IWGP United States Championship in 24:55.
The Bullet Club members celebrated inside the ring. Cody took the mic and asked the crowd to raise their hands if they were lifelong fans. Cody brought up how wrestling was cool in the ’90s. Cody said to remember now “because wrestling has never been cooler.” Cody thanked New Japan Pro Wrestling, but he said it was time to introduce the man who carried NJPW on his back.
Omega took the mic and thanked the crowd for the warm welcome and the merchandise sales. He said he doesn’t sell merch to impolite people, but they were a joy. Omega noted that he is not a full-time member of the ROH roster. “My apologies,” he said. “I represent New Japan Pro Wrestling… by contract only.” Omega said he really represents Bullet Club.
Omega was about to close it out when Matt Jackson took the mic from him and brought up that it was the last night of the Global Wars tour. Matt wanted to take a Bullet Club selfie, but none of the wrestlers had a camera. He asked if anyone had a phone. He looked around in the crowd and found Jimmy Jacobs, who was holding up his phone. Jacobs took a selfie with the group at ringside and high-fived them. “Sorry we got your ass fired, JImmy,” Nick said. The Bullet Club members returned to the ring. Omega led the crowd in a chant to close the show…
Powell’s POV: Quality work in the main event, but Yoshi-Hashi could have set Omega on fire and no one in the live crowd would have believed he was going to win this match. It felt like it went on longer than it needed to and the “ten boots” bit wasn’t as over as it seemed like they expected it to be. However, the crowd loved the rapid fire spots involving the other teammates and Omega going over got a great reaction. The live crowd was totally into the Bullet Club post match promo and the surprise appearance of Jacobs was a great touch given that he was fired by WWE for taking a photo with the group. Overall, a good, long show that gave pay-per-view buyers their twenty bucks worth and then some.
Spot monkey nonsense with terrible storytelling and only a few compelling characters. ROH still doesn’t understand that who is fighting and why they are fighting is much more important than how they are fighting if you want more than the occasional crowd of 2-3,000.
Better than that TNA episode I watched last week with “relatively random” storytelling and no compelling characters. One of their characters called them relatively random, not me
Being better than the equivalent of a sewage overflow in the streets isn’t a sign of doing things right.