By Chris Vetter, ProWrestling.net Contributor (@chrisvetter73)
NWA 312 Pay-Per-View
Aired live April 7, 2023 on FITE TV
Highland Park, Illinois at Studio One
This room isn’t much larger than a gym or a convention center, with maybe 400-500 in attendance; when they announced this was a sellout, I was expecting a bigger venue. Tim Storm and Joe Galli provided commentary. Velvet Sky had a family emergency and couldn’t be part of the broadcast team. The first match begins immediately with no ring introductions.
NWA 312 Pre-Show
1. Natalia Markova defeated La Brava Escobar at 6:28. Escobar is a red-head; I saw her for the first time last week. CJ, Magic Jake Dumas’ assistant, is at ringside. Markova hit a faceplant for a nearfall. Natalia hit a DDT for a visual pin, but CJ hopped in the ring and the crowd booed. La Brava hit a German suplex for a believable nearfall. Markova nailed her Beautiful Disaster spin kick for the pin. So-so; Markova spent the whole match tugging on her top, which was really distracting. Next time get gear that fits.
2. Anthony Andrews and AJ Cazana defeated Jax Dane and Blake Troop at 6:43. Troop is the MMA guy who wrestles barefoot; I described him as a taller Tom Lawlor. Blake and Dane dominated the match with basic beatdown moves. Anthony Andrews got a schoolboy rollup to pin Troop. Not good at all, really.
* Backstage with May Valentine, who interviewed Kenzie Paige. Kenzie says she isn’t afraid of Max the Impaler, and she vowed to win tonight.
3. Gagz the Gymp defeated Sal the Pal in a strap match at 10:38. Judais was at ringside. If Gagz loses, he must remove his mask; if Sal loses, he must cut his hair. They are connected at the wrists by a 15-foot-long leather strap. Sal hit a superkick for a believable nearfall right at the bell. Sal whipped Gagz with the strap. Gagz hit a reverse DDT for a nearfall at 9:30. Gagz hit a Sliced Bread #2 flipping faceplant for the pin. Sluggish. Judais handed Gagz electric clippers. Gagz was hesitant to use them. Sal grabbed the clippers and began shaving off his own hair. However, they refused to kiss Judais’ feet.
* May Valentine interviewed Bully Ray, who noted he is undefeated in NWA. He wondered why his match against Thom Latimer isn’t for the TV title. He said Thom has a lot of potential, but Bully Ray knows his weaknesses. “Your weakness is you. You know that any moment in that ring, you can explode, and not explode in a good way,” Bully Ray said.
4. Mike Knox and Trevor Murdoch defeated Daisy Kill and Talos at 6:53. Talos is tall and wore a plaid lumberjack match and pants. Daisy had his tiny guitar; he recently had an AEW Dark taping match. Murdoch and Knox beat down Daisy. Talos finally tagged in at 3:30. Murdoch hit a Doomsday clothesline on Daisy. Knox and Murdoch hit high/low kicks on Talos, and Murdoch pinned Talos. Blah.
NWA 312 Pay-Per-View
Danny Deals joined Galli and Storm on commentary.
1. EC3 defeated Cyon (w/Austin Idol) to win the NWA National title at 9:33. They fought to the floor. EC3 has some tattoos on his back I don’t think I’ve seen before. Cyon hit a Death Valley Driver for a nearfall at 7:00. EC3 applied a modified crossface, and Cyon tapped out.
* May Valentine interviewed James Mitchell. Mitchell was angry at Gagz and Sal for not kissing Judais’ feet so he is done with both of them. He then switched to talking about how Max the Impaler was going to destroy Kenzie Paige and become the inaugural NWA women’s TV champion.
2. Missa Kate and Madi Wrenkowski defeated “Pretty Empowered” Ella Envy and Roxxi to retain the NWA Women’s Tag Team Titles at 8:59. PE wore black instead of their usual pink, which I guess means they are serious tonight. PE worked over Madi extensively in some pretty basic beatdowns. Missa Kate made the hot tag at 8:00 and cleared the ring. She hit a hard kick for the pin.
3. JR Kratos defeated Yabo the Clown at 6:51. Yabo came out in full makeup and has a lot of tattoos on his arms. Definitely a scary-looking Doink. Kratos slammed him in the corner at the bell. Kratos hit a suplex at 3:30 that sent Yabo across the ring. Kratos hit a swinging side slam for a believable nearfall at 6:00, and the crowd was shocked that Yabo kicked out. However, Kratos hooked both arms and nailed a swinging DDT for the clean pin. Just an extended squash that should have been on free TV.
4. Thrillbilly Silas won the Bob Luce Memorial Battle Royal at 19:02. We have more than 20 wrestlers, maybe even 30, headed to the ring. ROH alum notables include Homicide and Rhett Titus. Homicide tossed Jordan Clearwater even before the bell, but he was ruled as eliminated, and Jordan was livid. Mercurio eliminated several “hometown heroes” I don’t know. Mercurio was eliminated at 8:00; we probably still have 15 guys left.
Rhett Titus was eliminated. Wrecking Ball Legursky was tossed. Jay Bradley tossed Alex Taylor. Jeremiah Plunkett was tossed. Brady Pierce was tossed. PJ Hawx was tossed. CJ hopped on the ring apron at 11:00, which angered Magic Jake Dumas. Someone tossed Dumas. We are down to EIGHT left. Rush Freeman was tossed. The tiny Rolando Freeman hit some blows on Bradley, who no-sold them. Jay Bradley was eliminated. Rolando Freeman was tossed, then Fodder was tossed, so we are down to FOUR: Eric Jackson, Homicide, Odinson and Thrillbilly Silas.
Homicide hit a stunner on Thrillbilly Silas. Homicide swore at Pollo Del Mar on the floor. Eric Jackson tossed Homicide at 16:00. Odinson put Eric Jackson on his shoulders, walked him to the ropes, and tossed him. So, just Silas vs. Odinson. They traded hard chops and forearm shots. Odinson sprayed a can at Pollo Del Mar. Odinson hit a Pounce on Silas. Silas clotheslined Odinson over the top rope and to the floor to win the match.
5. Kenzie Paige defeated Max the Impaler (w/James Mitchell) to become the inaugural NWA Women’s TV Champion at 8:06. The commentators said the winner will get a trophy, but also will help in the design of the belt. Max is terrifying and just towers over Kenzie. William Corgan held the trophy; he spoke on the mic and hoped we’d have a good, clean fight. The bell sounded and Kenze looked terrified. Max hit a backbreaker over the knee and a senton. Max hit a military press, dropping Kenzie stomach-first to the mat at 2:30.
Kenzie got a chair but decided against using it. Max hit a standing powerbomb and a clothesline for a nearfall; Max picked her up at the two-count at 6:00. Max hit another standing powerbomb, then a second, then a third. Samantha Starr came to ringside and she yelled at James Mitchell. Max grabbed Starr, brought her in the ring and hit a clothesline. Kylie Paige got in the ring, but Max beat her up, too. Kenzie jumped to her feet, hit a stunner onto the folded chair lying in the ring, and scored the pin! Galli said Kenzie took “the biggest beatdown I’ve ever seen in the NWA.”
* Backstage, May Valentine interviewed La Rosa Negra about her title match later against Kamille.
6. Kerry Morton (w/Ricky Morton) defeated Joe Alonzo (w/Jamie Stanley) to retain the NWA World Junior Heavyweight Title at 14:34. I get a kick out of the heel manager Stanley. Alonzo shoved Kerry to the floor, allowing Stanley to hit a stomp. In the ring, Alonzo was in control for several minutes. Morton hit a plancha to the floor at 10:00. In the ring, Morton hit a powerslam for a nearfall, then a kneestrike to the chest for a believable nearfall.
Stanley distracted the ref, so Ricky Morton hit Stanley. Alonzo hit a stunner, but Kerry rolled to the floor to avoid being pinned. In the ring, Kerry made a cocky one-footed cover for a nearfall, which was a surprise. Kerry jumped off the second rope, but Alonzo caught him with a superkick, then a Jarrett-style Stroke for a believable nearfall at 14:00. We’ve done a double-turn here, with the crowd fully behind Alonzo now. Kerry hit a running knee, then a swinging elbow drop for the pin. Best match of the show, but bluntly, that isn’t saying much.
7. Bully Ray defeated Thom Latimer via DQ at 10:34. Latimer’s TV Title belt was not on the line. Standing switches to start and basic offense. Thom hit a top-rope moonsault press on Bully Ray standing in the ring at 7:30, and Ray bailed to the floor to regroup. Ray grabbed the title belt and brought it in the ring, and they jawed some more. Bully Ray got on the mic and challenged Thom to hit him; he said Kamille wears the pants in the family. Thom got worked up and began stomping Ray in the corner; the ref pulled Thom off and called for the disqualification. Lame finish to an underwhelming match.
8. Mecha Wolf and Bestia 666 defeated Dak Draper and Mims to retain the NWA Tag Team Titles at 10:19. I really don’t know what Draper and Mims did to earn a title shot. Draper and Bestia started, and at a legit 6’3″, Draper has quite a height advantage. Mims entered to face Mecha Wolf. Draper and Mims worked over MW. MW and Bestia hit simultaneous front-and-back kicks on Mims at 6:00. Mecha Wolf nailed a dive through the ropes to the floor on both opponents. Bestia immediately hit a flip dive over the top rope onto the opponents.
Suddenly, Aron Stevens, Damage and Carnage hit ringside and attacked both teams. The ref sent them to the back, but to my surprise, he didn’t call for the bell. Back in the ring, Draper hit a Mafia Kick. Bestia 666 hit a Doomsday Lungblower move on Mims, with Mecha Wolf covering Mims for the pin. I liked this match, but the interference made no sense. While I don’t want to see disqualifications, in any normal match, that assault would have led to a draw.
* May Valentine interviewed Chris Adonis backstage. Adonis said he’s worked his ass off to get this opportunity, and he vowed to get the Master Lock in place. Yes, he called it the “Master Lock.”
9. Kamille defeated La Rosa Negra to retain the NWA Women’s Title at 13:02. La Rosa Negra looks a lot like Marti Belle. Kamille has the clear height and strength advantage as they opened with an intense lockup. Kamillle hit a hard leg lariat for a nearfall at 4:00, then a nice gut-wrench suplex. She slowed LRN down with a chinlock, and she was controlling the offense.
LRN dropped her face-first on the top rope and hit a top-rope crossbody block, then a top-rope clothesline for a nearfall at 7:30. They traded stiff forearm shots. Kamille hit a Blue Thunder Bomb for a nearfall at 11:00. LRN hit a stunner and a top-rope frogsplash, but she was slow to make a cover, and Kamille grabbed the bottom rope. LRN leapt off the top rope, but Kamille hopped up, caught LRN’s head and hit a stunner. Kamille immediately hit a spear for the pin. Easily best match of the show.
10. Tyrus defeated Chris Adonis to retain the NWA Title at 12:35. I like how the referee reads the rules before the main event; it creates an aura that this is important. Tyrus just turned 50, while Adonis just turned 40. A test of strength early on, with Tyrus getting the early advantage. Adonis locked in a Figure Four Leglock at 4:00; Tyrus eventually was able to flip over and escape, but the commentators agreed the “damage was done.” Adonis tried to apply the Master Lock, but Tyrus ran backward and squished Adonis in the corner at 6:30. Tyrus took control at this point with some basic stomps and blows.
Masters hit a top-rope axe handle to the head for a nearfall at 9:00. Tyrus slammed Adonis and they were both down. Adonis hit a bodyslam but immediately clutched his lower back at 11:00. Adonis again went for the Master Lock, but this time Tyrus leapt backward and squished Adonis on the mat. However, Adonis locked in the Master Lock on the mat! “The champ is fading!” shouted Joe Galli. However, Tyrus leaned backward, and with his weight, scored the pin with the Master Lock still in place.
* Adonis put his hand out for a handshake, but he instead turned and left the ring, clearly frustrated at the loss.
Final Thoughts: A rough show. Tyrus, with his size, weight, and let’s be honest, relative lack of mobility, should be the monster heel. He just feels so miscast as a milquetoast, bland babyface. And I believe I’m a bigger fan of Tyrus than most. All those criticisms aside, I think that main event was put together as well as can be expected from those two, and I do like the finish.
Kamille vs. La Rosa Negra was easily best match of the show, and I can put up with the rough spots in Kamille’s match because she is so dominating. I liked Bestia/Mecha Wolf’s tag match for second place, and the Kerry Morton/Alonso match for third place, with the main event honorable mention.
There is just so much filler, though. Ten matches in a three-hour pay-per-view feels like NWA would rather get everyone on the show than fill it with good, memorable matches. The Yabo the Clown stuff felt so minor league, and at least he got squashed.
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