By Jason Powell, ProWrestling.net Editor (@prowrestlingnet)
On being the conclusion to various storylines: “So it was kind of funny. Like, I always laughed during WWE stuff at times because it was like, how are we gonna get out of this one? Here comes Hornswoggle. It was like, we need someone to work with a guest host, here’s Hornswoggle. It’s like every, the guest host stuff was so much fun. My bar downstairs in my basement. I built a bar, and it’s just signed stuff from the guest host era. Like every week, I was like, hey, what can I get Bob Barker to sign? Oh, Happy Gilmore, there’s a random thing. Mike Tyson is gonna sign The Hangover, but just like fun stuff. Betty White signed a Golden Girls DVD set, so good. [I have] Floyd Mayweather gloves and Mike Tyson gloves down there. Ozzy Osbourne, I have a vinyl from him. I got a vinyl for my dad too which is like, mind blowing to my dad.
“But it always was like, What are we gonna go back on? Oh Hornswoggle is here, let’s have him be the answer. Fine by me, like I don’t care. You’re putting me on television, on worldwide television. How dumb would I have been to be like, not gonna work for me, boss? Nope. Not gonna work. Mae Young gave birth to me as the New Year’s Baby. I dressed as a cow. Like, the shit I didn’t want to necessarily do, but then I sit back and go, I’m on worldwide television, getting paid to do my dream job from when I was four years old. Life could be a lot worse. Like, again, I don’t take myself seriously. Although that’s where an ego comes from. I don’t, it is just what it is. I don’t, I don’t, I don’t care enough about how I’m viewed. It doesn’t matter to me.”
Being revealed as Vince McMahon’s son: “So many of those things just get swept under the rug and forgotten about obviously. But then, as everyone was leaving, rehearsal was done. And Bruce goes, ‘Okay, I need to know where your bag is in the locker room.’ I go, why? He goes, ‘Because you’re going under the ring right now.’ Until then, I was like, it’s 3:30. [Nobody knew]. No, literally. I get under there. And Kevin Dunn gets on headset with me. And he goes, ‘Hey, Vince will talk to you about what you’re going to do.’ Vince went over it on headset, the whole segment of Vince said please stay off headset until we ask for you again, because they didn’t want any producers, nothing to know. And no one or no one to hear me over the headset talking. I was like, so I’m changing underneath the ring. And I had my Cruiserweight Title in my bag, and I go, do I come up with it? Oh, no. What do I do? What do I do? Oh, no. And I’m like, freaking out.”
Is Hornswoggle annoyed that he didn’t go into the Hall of Fame with DX: “No. And it’s one of those things like I get it, I do. I was the mascot, I was always known as the mascot. People didn’t view me as such. But I knew it and it’s fine. I never like to think about that, because if it never were to happen, I can only be let down rather than if for a crazy reason it does happen, it’s the coolest surprise ever. But I never think about that. People ask me all the time and all that they say it to me all the time. But it’s like, I don’t like thinking that way. At this point now, it’s like, it would just be cool for my son. Like I have so much now where it’s just like, I want to do fun things that I can bring him along to as well. Like, it’s all I care about nowadays. And that’s, hey, when can I get a AIW booking in Cleveland so we can go to this Hall of Fame or we go to the Pro Football Hall of Fame or the Rock Hall again and just get spaghetti pizza again, just like fun things that he can do along with me that at this point in my career, that’s what I really enjoy is him coming along for the ride.”
On missing a spot while under the ring: “I fell asleep. I talked about it in my book, Life Is Short and So Am I. I fell asleep overseas. And there was a six-man tag match. It was Finlay, Big Daddy V and Khali against Undertaker, Kane and Batista, so a very heavy match going on above me. It was an overseas tour, international tour. And I was very sleepy, very tired. Just tired from the night before, didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before, went to bed late, that’s what I’m going with. I was not over-served, and like they put me under the ring at intermission. And so I was like, okay, whatever. And I just fell asleep and I woke up to Finlay opening the curtain and yelling at me. Hey, hey, and then he finally goes like, I’m not waking up and he sees me face down. He thought one of the ring things knocked me out. He goes [makes slapping sound]. I go ‘Hey man.’ He goes ‘You’re on!’ And I go Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit, because I knew I had a spot with Undertaker who was waiting above me. He rolls me in and Taker’s laying down and we’d always did this thing where Taker would be laying down. I’d walk up to him and he’d sit up, scare the shit out of me. And like, either just goozle me or chokeslam me off his knee or something. But now he throws me in and I go, the whole time walking up to Undertaker I go, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Having to apologize to The Undertaker: “We get to the back and Undertaker asks where were you? I said I was sleeping. He goes, where were you? I said I was sleeping. He goes, holy shit, and he just walks off. I go oh I’m dead. I’m done, I’m done. This is it, it’s been a good run. It’s been a good two years at that point. Did a lot of fun things. But I’m done. And he just couldn’t believe it. And so I graced him with a bottle of brown liquid as an apology gift. And we sat on the bus that night and indulged in that and played cards. And he was just like, he goes, I can’t believe that you fell asleep with that much weight going on above you. Like I just the ring wasn’t loud to me after a while. It’s probably why I need my hearing aid all the time nowadays.”
Powell’s POV: I normally don’t comment on our podcast recaps, but I wanted to give another endorsement of Hornswoggle’s Life Is Short and So Am I autobiography. It’s a really fun, informative, feel-good read. I don’t think the book gets as much attention as it should.