By Jason Powell, ProWrestling.net Editor (@prowrestlingnet)
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Ring of Honor “Unauthorized”
Columbus, Ohio at Express Live
Streamed live on HonorClub and FITE.TV
The show opened with a graphic that read “Hanukkah Comes Early” and listed Colt Cabana as the host. Cabana noted that there were injuries and changes to the card, but he assured the fans it would be a fun show. “Whoever’s got the book ain’t got the book no more,” Cabana said. “Colt Cabana is booking this show, baby.” Cabana introduced Joe Hendry, who sang and then joined Ian Riccaboni on commentary and sang…
1. Ultimo Guerrero defeated Jonathan Gresham. Hendry sang various lyrics throughout the match.
2. Delirious and Mini Delirious vs. El Villainisto and Jefe Cobbo. The gimmick was that the loser of the match would be unmasked. Caprice Coleman joined Riccaboni on commentary. Mini Delirious hoisted Villainisto onto his shoulders and then Delrious went to the ropes for a Doomsday Device, but Cobbo dropkicked him. Villainisto hit a 619 on Mini Delirious, then Cobbo performed a standing moonsault and scored the pin. In a shocking twist, Mini Delirious unmasked and revealed himself to be Swoggle, which matches the “Swoggle” that was written on his ring gear. Cabana said we’ll never know who Villainisto and Cobbo actually are.
3. Dalton “White” Castle, Kenny “Burger” King (w/Amy Rose), and “Flippin’ Cheeseburgers” Gordon defeated “Cheeseburger Double & Triple” Cheeseburger, Beer City Bruiser, and Brian Milonas. Rhett Titus sat in on commentary for the match. King wore a Burger King crown and slapped hands on his way to the ring. Cheeseburger hit his finisher on Castle, but King rolled up Cheeseburger and pinned him. King tried to leave with the Bouncers’ cooler, but Titus stopped him. Cheeseburger’s team, Castle, and Titus celebrated with beer and cheeseburgers.
4. Angelina Love and Mandy Leon defeated Sumie Sakai and Jenny Rose in a No DQ match. Sakai used a cat stuffed animal as a weapon. Love hit the Botox Injection kick on Sakai and pinned her. After the match, Maria Manic came out and backed Love into a corner. “At Final Battle, you’re dead, bitch,” Manic said.
Cabana said Maria Manic will make her ROH in-ring debut at Final Battle.
5. Mark Briscoe (w/Jay Briscoe) beat Josh Woods (w/Silas Young) in a Partner Must Drink After Kickouts match. Silas and Jay sat in on commentary, which the live crowd could hear. Ring announcer Bobby Cruise took a shot at ringside and motioned for the camera not to show him. Silas and Jay spoke over the house mic while the actual broadcast team laid out. They had a bottle of whiskey in front of them with the label blacked out. There was a sequence of early pinfall reversals that led to Silas and Jay doing several shots. Silas and Jay bickered at ringside and then entered the ring. Both acted drunk and were quickly cleared from the ring. Mark hit Froggy Bow on Woods and pinned him.
6. Rush and Dragon Lee defeated Mark Haskins and Tracy Williams in a lucha rules tag match. Lee took out Haskins with a huracanrana from the apron to the floor. Rush hit his finisher on Williams and pinned him.
Colt Cabana interviewed ring announcer Bobby Cruise in the ring. Cabana said that if he ever does a podcast, Cruise would be his first guest. Funny. Shane Taylor made his entrance with members of Shane Taylor Promotions. Taylor took issue with ROH coming to his home state and changing his match. Taylor proposed facing Cabana, who then booked a four on four match involving Taylor’s promotion team. Cabana picked Gator the cameraman, Ian Riccaboni, and Gary Juster as his partners. There were videos for all three men and Juster received some pyro. Brian Johnson came out and cut a promo. Cabana assigned him to Taylor’s team, then said he’d add referee Todd Sinclair to his own team. He also had a video package.
7. Colt Cabana, Ian Riccaboni, Gary Juster, Todd Sinclair, and cameraman Gator beat Shane Taylor, Soldiers of Savagery, Ron Hunt, and Brian Johnson. Taylor and his crew abandoned Johnson, who went on to lose the match. Gator stood the corner and continued to film the show. Joe Dombrowski sat in on commentary with Coleman. Johnson was left to fend for himself when Shane Taylor and his crew left. Sinclair tagged into the match to a big pop. Sinclair did a leapfrog spot and threw Ricky Steamboat chops on Johnson. Riccaboni threw a top rope elbow drop on Johnson, then tagged in Cabana, who covered Johnson and pinned him.
8. PCO beat Dan Maff in an unsanctioned match. It was a hardcore style match with chairs, cinderblocks, thumbtacks, tables, and more. PCO threw Maff from the ropes onto the cinderblocks for a late near fall. Maff performed a burning hammer that drove PCO onto the cinderblocks for another near fall. Maff hit PCO with three chairshots. PCO stood up and slammed a cinderblock into the chair and then into the head of Maff. PCO chokeslammed Maff and then performed a moonsault onto him and scored the pin.
After the match, Marty Scurll came out and put over PCO for starting his career over 30 years ago and being 51 years old. Scurll said PCO gave up his life and put his body on the line like nobody else for the business. Scurll said PCO finally gets a chance to become ROH World Champion at Final Battle. Scurll said he can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than PCO. Scurll said PCO is not human and declared him the next ROH World Champion. PCO celebrated to close the show.
ROH’s next event will be the Final Battle pay-per-view on Friday, December 13 in Baltimore, Maryland at UMBC Event Center.