By John Moore, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)
Impact Wrestling TV
Aired September 27, 2019 on Pursuit (simulcast on Twitch TV)
Taped September 5-6 in Las Vegas, Nevada at Sam’s Town Casino
Impact started off with a cheesy love slideshow to commemorate the wedding of Brian Cage and Melissa Santos…
Josh Mathews and Don Callis checked in on commentary. Callis bragged about wearing a Tuxedo and said people are calling him “edible”. Josh hyped the Impact return of Ken Shamrock. Callis said it’s not a gimmick when Shamrock calls himself the world’s most dangerous man. Josh sent the show over to their “Wedding Correspondant” who was a person from Afterbuzz TV named Gabby Loren. Gabby introduced the first guest, Gail Kim. Gail talked about how Melissa would make a great bride…
The LAX entrance music played. Josh Mathews in a deadpan voice went “what is going on here…”. All Ego Ethan Page and Josh Alexander made their entrances wearing “gangsta” clothes. Given how serious Josh Alexander is, this parody looked more like the Homicide and Hernandez version of LAX than the Santana and Ortiz one. Josh noted that Konnan is still here and this may come off as disrespectful. Page talked about how the crowd expected LAX to come out. Page said “The best tag team in the world” coming out was advertised and The North delivered. Alexander said they walked out dressed as morons and the crowd still cheered.
Alexander said they’re dressed like losers at the moment. Page said he was going to give the fans some bandanas so they can cosplay as losers. Alexander said he’s a professional and the ring is sacred ground. Alexander said this garb makes him sick. Alexander ripped off the shirt and stompped on it. Alexander talked about The North being the best tag team in the world and how that would cause everyone to forget past champions. Page talked about how the fans are sending mail to Impact wrestling, begging for LAX to return. Page yelled “no!”. Page said idiots like the fans will never get anything because they aren’t the North. Page said LAX isn’t coming back because the North made sure of it.
Page said it doesn’t matter how much power Konnan has in the streets and this company. LAX’s entrance theme played with Konnan making his entrance right on cue. Alexander asked Konnan what he thought standing in the ring with best tag team in the world. Konnan called The North “Bitch-made, walking, talking, glory holes that are making complete jackasses of themselves”. Callis said, “What’s a glory hole, Josh?”. Page said the LAX look made them look like jackasses. Konnan said The North will never be stars even if they were thrown my ninjas. Konnan said Alexander can’t tear up the chicken at a luau. Konnan called the North “Ho’s” and “Putos” (The puto word was bleeped out). Alexander said Konnan is standing in The North’s ring. Konnan said he has a lot of friends here who want to bust that ass. Page said they already beat Daga and LAX. Konnan then summoned the ECW originals Rhino and Rob Van Dam (wut?). RVD’s crappy music played and RVD and Rhino tossed The North out of the ring. Josh Mathews said a match was on… [c]
John’s Thoughts: This isn’t the first time we’ve seen this act done. First one that comes to my mind was CM Punk doing this in WWE when Jeff Hardy left for Impact, but it’s been done many other times when there’s an act that left the company due to a match stipulation. Not bad. I like that The North are getting mic time, especially Ethan Page. I like that Konnan’s getting mic time again, even though we haven’t seen some of his top tier mic work in a while. What was a little odd and weird was Konnan dragging out the “ECW Originals”. I hope Page and Alexander don’t have to put over the ECW Originals again.
1. “The North” Josh Alexander and All-Ego Ethan Page vs. Rob Van Dam and Rhino (w/Konnan) in a non-title match. The match was joined in progress. RVD gave Alexander a Monkey Flip and Rolling Thunder. Callis noted that Konnan must be well connected in order to convince RVD and Rhino to fight his battles for him. Josh announced that Jake Crist is defending his title in a five way ladder match and that there will be qualifying matches. Josh said the first qualifyer is Dave Crist vs. Tessa Blanchard. RVD and Rhino cut the ring in half on Page with quick tags.
Alexander distracted Rob enough so that Page can tag RVD with a lift kick. Page and Alexander cut the ring in half on RVD this time with the tags and isolation. After a few minutes, RVD fought out of the corner with a few punches and a big boot to Page. This allowed RVD to hot tag Rhino who cleaned house once Alexander tagged in. Rhino gave Alexander corner splashes and tackles. He took down Page with a lariat and gave Alexander a Belly-to-belly. Rhino led a Gore chant. Paage gave Rhino a superkick. RVD broke up the subsequent pin. RVD and Page took each other out with a lariat.
Josh Alexander grabbed the title belt when the referee was distracted. Konnan then went to play tug-o-war with Alexander in regards to the belt. This distraction allowed Rhino to hit Alexander with Gore followed up by RVD giving Alexander the Five Star Frog Splash. Rhino picked up the win.
Rob Van Dam and Rhino defeated The North via pinfall in 6:40 of TV Time.
Rhino’s entrance music played as the ECW duo celebrated their win. Josh said that RVD and Rhino may have put themselves into contention for the Tag Titles…
John’s Thoughts: A decent enough match. I’m not a fan of the result. They didn’t really protect the North since it was the North’s cheating that was overcome by the ECW guys. Another reason I’m not a fan with this outcome is because right before this accelerated push to the Tag Titles, Ethan Page and Josh Alexander were losing matches clean every week to Rob Van Dam and Sabu. I feel like they’re taking a step back here when they should be making sure these guys stay strong. They don’t have to worry about the crowd cheering them if they look good because Ethan Page can draw their hate with is strong mic work.
Gama Singh was berating Raj Singh and Rohit Raju. Gama said he had to go back to India to find a person worthy of representing their nation. Gama told Rohit and Raj to stop losing because they were replacable due to India having 1.2 billion people. Raj said “but I’m your son”. Gama said he’s still replacable. Gama told Raj and Rohit to pull up their socks and start producing. Gama said that Mahabali Shera will take care of the Deaners tonight… [c]
An ad aired for Impact’s move to AXS TV on October 1st…
The show cut back to Gabby Loren who introduced the next guest, Eddie Edwards. Before Eddie could speak he was chatted up by the Reno Scum duo of Luster the Legend and Adam Thornstowe. Luster distracted Eddie which allowed Adam to drop a pill into Eddie’s champagne glass, presumably a roofie. Reno Scum left after their mission was accomplished. Gabby told Eddie to enjoy the wedding and Eddie left. Johnny Swinger introduced himself next and talked about how you should know him from ECW on TNN which aired right after “Rockin’ Bowl”…
Gama Singh was in the ring cutting his usual bored ass introduction for Mahabali Shera. Gama said that Shera was “The Lion of India” and something else I wasn’t able to make out. Mahabali Shera made his entrance, flanked by Rohit Raju and Raj Singh…
2. Mahabali Shera (w/Gama Singh, Raj Singh, Rohit Raju) vs. Cousin Jake (w/Cody Deaner). Shera tackled Jake into the corner. Jake came back with a haymaker to get Shera to his knee. Jake landed and rocked Shera with a lariat. Shera came back with a stronger lariat after Jake was distracted by Rohit. Jake landed a few gut punches on Jake. Shera shoved Jake off and then work a (rough looking) chinlock. Jake sidestepped Shera and gave Shera corner splashes. Jake tackled Shera’s gut. Jake knocked Raj and Rohit off the apron. This distraction allowed Shera to plant Jake with a Sky High. Shera followed up with a World’s Strongest Slam for the pinfall win…
Mahabali Shera defeated Cousin Jake via pinfall in 2:36.
Shera continued to put the boots to Jake after the match. Cody Deaner turned his cap and then dominated Shera. Rohit and Raj tripped up Cody to allowed all three of the hit squad to put the boots to Cody. Shera gave Cody a World’s Strongest Slam and then went for a pinfall (that reminds me of the old and green Shera!). Josh said that Shera went for the pinfall because he was mocking Cody…
Josh Mathews advertised Ken Shamrock returning to Impact… [c]
John’s Thoughts: A well plotted enhancement match. I didn’t mind Jake looking strong at points here because he’s presented as the “powerhouse” of The Deaners. Though, at the same time I wouldn’t have had Cody be the one to overpower Shera after the match. The match was short enough to not overstay it’s welcome and expose Mahabali Shera. Again, so far, so good with Shera; but I’m still a bit guarded in my optimism because they gave Raj Singh a bit of a monster push after they kicked Gursinder out of the group only to have Raj devolve into the bad comedy hijinks. The fact that Mahabali Shera has a “Shera Dance” (that thing where he just wiggles two fingers) is what also scares me.
Gabby introduced TJ Perkins as the next guest and complemented him on his dress shirt. Fallah Bahh walked in wearing casual clothes. TJP yelled at Bahh for not being formal (but TJP is the one wearing a untucked shirt with his sleeves rolled up). Bahh spoke in English and said that TJP told him to wear comfortable clothes. Bahh called out TJP for not being formal because TJP was wearing Jordans and that he looked like he was from a Korean Boy Band. Gabby then asked both of them which side of the asile they were sitting on. Bahh went back to Bahh-ing. TJP called out Bahh for speaking in English a few seconds ago. An F’d up Eddie Edwards stumbled into the scene and thought that Gabby was Melissa…
The next match was a match that may or may not have happened in Women of Honor…
3. Madison Rayne vs. Tenille Dashwood. Rayne and Dashwood traded wristlocks with Rayne being extra animated in her speaking. Rayne rolled to the ropes after she was slammed to the mat. Rayne took down Dashwood with a shoulder block and mocked Dashwood’s “All About Me” catchphrase. Dashwood tripped Rayne and hit her with a shotgun dropkick after tripping her again. Rayne teased walking off but was dragged back by Tenille. Tenille used her feet to slam Rayne’s face to the apron. Dashwood hit Rayne with a slingshot neckbreaker and got a two count.
John’s Thoughts: Hmmmmm… The crowd’s fairly quiet again; and they’re not in Mexico this time.
Rayne trapped Dashwood in the corner and hit her with a backstabber. Rayne gave Dashwood some Muay Thai knees from the Cravate. Rayne also gave Dashwood a sliding lariat. Dashwood went for a rollup but Rayne escaped and gave Dashwood another lariat. Rayne told an old lady in the crowd to shut up. The crowd chanted “old lady”. Rayne hit Dashwood with a ripcord cutter for a two count. Tenille walked forward to trip Rayne off the top rope. Tenille hit Rayne with an Emma-mite sandwich leading to a two count.
Tenille hit Rayne with forearms and a big boot. Tenille hit Rayne with a front kick into a lariat for a two count. Rayne escaped a butterfly hold and hit Tenille with an enzuigiri. Rayne hit Dashwood with a Northern Lights Suplex and got a two count off the bridge. Rayne went for Cross Rhodes but Dashwood escaped with a neckbreaker. Dashwood hit Rayne with “The Spotlight” (Claymore Kick) for the pinfall victory.
Tenille Dashwood defeated Madison Rayne via pinfall in 8:10.
Dashwood got a mild applause for her win. Josh said that Tenille has defeated “The Best Frenemies”…
John’s Thoughts: A decently wrestled match with a few air gaps between moves, but that wasn’t the issue. Tenille Dashwood is having a hard time getting over it seems. Last time, you could argue that they were in Mexico with a non-English-speaking crowd. This time a random old lady in the crowd received a bigger pop than Dashwood during this match. I also can’t help but feel that they’re burning quickly through Dashwood’s potential programs in singular matches. Since they’re in Vegas, can’t they bring on some enhancement wrestlers from the Future Stars of Wrestling promotion?
Gabby Loren introduced Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes as the next wedding guests. Gabby wondered if Rob and Katie were getting married next. Before Rob can answer, Willie Mack and Rich Swann walked in and congratulated RVD for just beating The North. Swann said that he and Mack are the number one contenders to the tag titles and that he’s totally willing to give RVD and Rhino a tag title shot. RVD then said that when he and Rhino would give Swann and Mack a title shot when he and Rhino win the titles. RVD then teased doing his thumb pose before leaving. Swann and Mack comically acted annoyed…
Josh Mathews hyped Ken Shamrock appearing to confront Moose for later in the show… [c]
Josh Mathews said that since Tenille Dashwood defeated Kiera Hogan and Madison Rayne, for some reason this means she’s number one contender and will get a title shot against Taya Valkyrie at Bound For Glory…
Ken Shamrock made his entrance. The video wall focused on Shamrock becoming the first Impact World Champion as NWA Heavyweight Champion. Shamrock said he’s standing in the ring with great memories. Shamrock talked about holding the Impact World Championship over his head back in the day and he was proud of that. Shamrock said he thanked the crowd for their support. Shamrock said he’s been taking with Brian Cage over the past few weeks and all of a sudden Moose starts chiming in. Shamrock talked about how Moose is bragging about things like being tall, strong, a former NFL player, and other things. Shamrock dropped a “shit” word in there. Shamrock said Moose is disrespecting everyone which is pissing him off. He said he’s going to shut Moose’s big mouth.
Shamrock said he told Scott D’Amore that he wants to shut Moose up and Scott asked Shamrock to come over to Impact. Shamrock talked about how he looked all over the place and couldn’t find Moose. Shamrock said it’s like his resume where you find nothing. Shamrock called out Moose and told him to get his ass out here so Moose can be put in a grave. Moose appeared at Ken Shamrock’s MMA theme. Moose said he didn’t have to make a big publicity stunt of this like Shamrock did. Moose cut a promo while shoving around people in Shamrock’s gym. Moose said he’s not afraid of Shamrock because in this situation it would be like an elephant being afraid of an ant. Moose said he’s going to prove why he’s the best wrestler in the world.
Moose then ran across an Octagon and said he always wanted to be in one of these (last time we saw Moose enter an Octagon without taking off his shoes, he got his ass kicked by Dan Lambert and a bunch of MMA fighters). One of the gym staff asked Moose if Moose was a member of the gym. Moose punched the gym member. Moose then mockingly said he’ll take off his shoes to not disrespect the dojo (King Mo Lawal called Moose out on this before). Moose took off his shoes and shirt and then aggressively beat up the two guys in the ring with nice looking punches. He then took one of the guys and pinned his face against the chain links. Moose said Moose is now the world’s most dangerous man and he went on to hype his match against Shamrock at Bound for Glory. Moose said “I’m going to kick your f–king ass because I’m the legend known as Moose”… [c]
John’s Thoughts: Solid stuff from Shamrock, but the Moose part really put a smile on my face. That was a visual representation on how far Moose has come after being the world’s most pathetic babyface. Last time we saw Moose in an MMA gym, he got his ass kicked my a bunch of MMA fighters and a (potential) money mark lawyer. This also included Moose being so pathetic that he decided to steal a pair of socks for no good reason. This time Moose has really turned a corner and he’s presented strong enough to match his progression as a character. A part of me misses lame-ass Moose, but credible and talented Moose is so much better for Impact as a whole. I’d honestly be afraid of Moose being the next person to leave to AEW or WWE given how his stock has risen over the past year.
An ad aired for Impact’s move to AXS which featured Eddie Edwards talking about how this is a turning point for this company that will light a fire under the talent…
Rosemary was shown minding her own business in the locker room as she was approached by Taya Valkyrie who continued to pretend that she was good friends with Rosemary. The room was tinted purple for some reason. Taya brought up how it was just announced that Taya will be defending her title against Tenille Dashwood. Taya offered to give Rosemary a title shot if Rosemary could get rid of Tenille for her. Rosemary talked about how she and Taya could have been seen as great warriors at some other point in time and that this deal is the same deal that Taya brought up at Slammiversary.
Rosemary said all she sees now is a bleach blonde haired coward. Rosemary said the Valkyrie needs to go into battle like a proud warrior rather than come to “us” to do her dirty work. Rosemary said Taya has to become what she once was to regain Rosemary’s respect (an Ice queen?). Taya walked off and then came back with a purple dress for Rosemary. Rosemary yelled and threw the dress on the ground after Taya left… [c]
Josh Mathews ran through the following Bound for Glory card: Taya Valkyrie vs. Tenille Dashwood for the Knockouts Championship, The Rascalz vs. Dr. Wagner Jr and Two Mystery Luchadores, Moose vs. Ken Shamrock, Naomichi Marufuji vs. Michael Elgin, and Brian Cage vs. Sami Callihan for the Impact World Championship…
This week’s Impact Plus Moment of the week was the wedding of Eric Young and ODB that ended up with EY and ODB in their underwear…
They cut back to the Brian Cage wedding reception where Sami Callihan and the rest of OVE tried to enter the room. Security guards kept them out. Sami said they don’t care because Dave has a match later. Sami said this was bull crap… [c]
Cage was shown hanging out with Tommy Dreamer and Rich Swann. Dreamer told Cage not to be nervous and this setting reminds Dreamer of when he got married to the most beautiful woman in the world, Beulah McGillicutty. Rich Swann said he’s married too and it’ll lead to one woman for the rest of his life. Dreamer said that there was no such thing as this one woman rule. Suddenly a long haired, regular looking dude walked in. Cage claimed that this guy was his brother named Ryan. Dreamer brought up that this means his brother is named “Ryan Cage”…
John’s Thoughts: So, is Rich Swann now a widdow because his wife was visually murdered on television last week? I know they don’t acknowledge their relationship on-air, but I get a bit of a chuckle from this similar to how Josh Mathews was calm and collective when his wife was “killed” and sent to ROH.
They cut to the bridesmaids room with Kiera Hogan, Taya Valkyrie, Alisha Edwards, and John E Bravo. Madison Rayne tried to give them advice. Kiera Hogan got in a fight with Rayne telling Rayne that Rayne isn’t even a part of the bridal party. Taya cut in and told the women in the room to help her out with a problem named Tenille Dashwood…
The show abruptly cut to OVE’s entrance music for the next match…
4. Dave Crist (w/Jake Crist, Madman Fulton) vs. Tessa Blanchard for a spot in the Bound For Glory X Division Championship ladder match. Tessa dominated Dave with punches. Dave managed to land a kick on Tessa. Tessa regained control because Dave was gloating. Dave landed a few low kicks on Tessa. Tessa and Dave then brawled a bit. Dave had Tessa up against the ropes. Tessa backdropped Dave over the ropes after he gloated a bit more. Tessa hit Fulton with a baseball slide. Fulton went on to choke Tessa but Jake then pulled Fulton away. Callis said he’s confused as to why Jake was caring enough to stop a DQ.
John’s Thoughts: I’m confused as to why Fulton choking Tessa didn’t lead to a DQ?
Josh noted that Jake was pulling Fulton back like a pitbull. The referee ejected Fulton. Dave went for a haymaker on Tessa but punched ringpost. Dave begged for mercy as Tessa twisted Dave’s injured hand. Tessa said “screw you Dave”. Jake tripped up Tessa which allowed Dave to gain control. Dave put the boots to Tessa and toyed with Tessa for a sequence. Jake got a cheap shot in while the child referee was distracted. Dave hocked a loogie and spat it at Tessa.
This fired up Tessa. Tessa unloaded punches on Dave. Tessa then hit Dave with a series of jump kicks. Dave dodged the Magnum but Tessa went into a sunset flip rollup for the two count. Dave hit Tessa with a Go To Sleep for a two count. Tessa sidestepped Dave but Dave recovered and caught Tessa with a boot. Counters ensued. Tessa floated over and hit Dave with a hammerlock DDT for the win.
Tessa Blanchard defeated Dave Crist via pinfall 6:19 to earn a spot in the BFG X Division Championship ladder match.
Jake attacked Tessa from behind when Tessa was singing her entrance theme. Tessa managed to take care of Jake. Fulton walked right back out. Tessa escaped an End of Days attempt with a float over Guillotine Choke. Fulton adjusted and choke slammed Tessa. Jake Crist stood tall over Tessa with his title. Jake and Fulton did the thumbs up thumbs down to close the segment…
John’s Thoughts: A good intergender match. A bit of an odd decision to go with a five way match instead of a singles match for the X Division Championship at Bound for Glory. Maybe they want to protect Jake a bit by not having him take a pinfall loss? I’m just speculating on that because they may have not have anticipated Jake Crist’s transformation into a champion to have gone so well.
Josh Mathews and Don Callis checked in on commentary in front of a bunch of fans who looked to have been encouraged to boo by Impact management (because they were overacting a bit). Callis and Mathews talked about how OVE was deplorable. Callis said OVE has hit a new low. Josh noted that the crowd wants to see Tessa become X Division Champion. Josh then transitioned to the Cage and Melissa Santos wedding and noted that they fell in love while working for Impact Wrestling (not true, but eh…).
The wrestlers at Brian Cage’s wedding were shown talking. Alisha was complaining about how Eddie Edwards wasn’t here. Madison Rayne tried to console Alisha as the “locker room leader”. Rayne said that Alisha’s marital problems are going to ruin Melissa’s wedding. Ace Austin showed up. Taya said that Austin could make a good replacement because someone needs to go out there… [c]
They cut to the actual wedding ceremony. Zachary Wentz was shown coughing up actual smoke as opposed to the cheap Adobe After Effects FX. Jessika Havok scared off some people to get a seat all to herself. Cody and Jake Deaner then sat next to Havok trying to put their shoulders around her but she glared at them to scare them. Jake tried to put his arm around Gabby but Gabby didn’t want any of Jake. For some reason, they decided to do the Cheap Adobe After Effects brown smoke around RVD. Jordynne Grace acted disguested when Katie Forbes was adjusting her breasts in her top. Rosemary teleported next to Fallah Bahh which freaked Bahh out. Gama Singh threatened to slap Rohit Raju if Raju cried.
The wedding ceremony commenced. Taya refused to walk arm-and-arm with John E. Taya yelled at Rosemary for wearing all black. Tommy Dreamer walked Melissa Santos down the aisle. Dreamer noted that he follows Katie Forbes on Instagram, the Rascalz are high right now, and how he liked what Shera was wearing. “Ryan Cage” handled the wedding proceedings and did the “objections” line. Taya stood up but instead talked about how John E Bravo did a bad job putting this together and how she didn’t want to be associated with this wedding planning.
Ethan Page then objected to how this company is treating it’s employees/superstars. Page said he’s opening a wrestler’s union. Page talked about how he wants to see the pay scale that pays older wrestlers more get thrown out. Page pointed out RVD as one of these overpaid old wrestlers. Page said champions should be paid as top stars. Page said he hates that he found out on the internet that Impact is not paying royalties to it’s wrestlers. Page said everyone’s here babbling about love when everyone should be talking about how to make more money in the wrestling industry. Page said the champions need more scratch. Page said that’s his only objections and it’s time to get this union going.
John’s Thoughts: I’m in complete agreement in the formation of this union and hopefully Page makes Killer Kross the vice president. A bit odd that Impact is mocking the poor treatment of wrestlers in a tongue-in-cheek joke by a heel, but I do like Page’s delivery. Every time Page gets a chance to talk he delivers. Give this guy more mic time!
Ryan Cage wondered if anyone has an objection to this actual wedding. A wasted/drugged Eddie Edwards stumbled into the wedding. Right on cue, Alisha Edwards started yelling at her poor poisoned husband. Eddie Edwards projectile vomited on Ryan Cage. Ace Austin tried to get Edwards under control. Edwards accidentally gave Ryan Cage a lariat. Tommy Dreamer then asked if there was someone qualified to officiate the wedding. Dr. Ariel said “I’m a doctor!”. Dreamer told Ariel to sit down.
Dreamer asked if there was someone to lead this thing before commercial. Dreamer asked if there was a priest, shaman, rabbi, ship captain, or a “minister”. Right on cue, the Sinister Minister James Mitchell showed up to lead the wedding. Mitchell then led Cage and Melissa through their wedding vows. He also acted very horny when he was eyeing Melissa top to bottom. Mitchell even handed Melissa a business card. Mitchell acted annoyed when Melissa told him that she’d only love Brian Cage for the rest of her life. Mitchell, with the power invested in him, in the church of Satan, and in the state of Nevada (Dreamer had to remind Mitchell of this), he pronounced Cage and Melissa man and wife. Mitchell then praised the Dark Lord. Cage kissed the bride. Melissa Santos said the rest of the reception was happening in the ring. Dreamer then winked into the camera by saying that the reception was happening after the break… [c]
The ring announcer announced Cage and Melissa as “Mr. and Mrs. Brian Cage”. Cage and Melissa made their entrance to the wedding march. Callis said that Melissa is a good girl with a poor taste in men. Cage and Melissa entered the ropeless ring for the bride and groom’s first dance. Cage and Melissa then had their first dance under the spotlight. Suddenly Sami Callihan interrupted the wedding with a champagne bottle in hand. Callihan congratulated the bride and groom and said it was time to have a party with the Death Machine. Callis said Callihan was classless. Callihan said he’s not here to fight and he’s a good person who’s happy for Cage and Melissa. Callihan said his feelings were hurt when the security guards stopped him at the door. Callihan said he got so depressed that he drank his wedding gift.
Callihan noted that they all were friends at one point. Callihan then said that after Cage and Melissa “consummate the marriage” he wants to see the old Machine Brian Cage at Bound For Glory. Callihan said everyone needs to raise a glass to toast the bride and groom. Callihan wished Cage and Melissa a beautiful marriage, beautiful children, and a long and healthy life. He said that’s his toast to the bride (Melissa) and the bitch (Cage). Cage does not want to be called a bitch, so he put his hands on Sami. Sami went to hit Cage with the champagne bottle but accidentally (?) hit Melissa with the (sugar) glass bottle. Callihan acted genuinely shocked as he tried to plead for forgiveness. Callihan walked up the ramp saying “I’m sorry”. The wedding attendees and Scott D’Amore went to check on Melissa to close the show…
John’s Thoughts: They tried to throw a lot out there, but ultimately I found the Cage and Melissa wedding to be pretty entertaining. Ethan Page and James Mitchell had standout performances in the prior cinematic. There were some things that didn’t click, like the Eddie Edwards story or the After Effects smoke, but I thought everything else was pretty much fine and entertaining to at least someone. If this wedding was missing something, I would have liked to have heard from Brian Cage a bit more because I thought he’s been doing a solid job letting his real life kind personality shine through, which makes him a bit more personable.
To connect this to Brian and Melissa’s other company, what made the Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie wedding work so well was Johnny being allowed to act like himself in real life which helped endear him to the audience. Anyway, solid wedding with a logical ending to connect it to the Sami Callihan feud. Callihan was really good on the promo, and even better in showing remorse afterward.Safe to say, this was a good episode of Impact Wrestling in my opinion. The easy takeaway from this episode is they stayed away from the esoteric humor that they go for and there was also no Undead Realm, smoke circles, and cinematic hangings of people.
Peak Twitch Viewership: 3,600 rounded up
This is the first Impact that I’ve seen in a while that I liked. The corny comedy in the wedding wasn’t bad at all. I still don’t like Shera but he has improved. I am looking forward to the Cage feud.