3/8 Moore’s Impact Wrestling TV Review: The Dark War with Rosemary, Kiera Hogan, and Jordynne Grace vs. Su Yung, Dark Allie, Undead Maid of Honor, Pentagon Jr. and Fenix vs. The Rascalz, Rich Swann vs. Ethan Page, Ace Austin debuts

By John Moore, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)

Impact Wrestling on Pursuit (simulcast on Twitch TV)
Taped February 15-17, 2019 in Las Vegas, Nevada at Sam’s Town Casino

A recap aired of last week’s episode followed by the Impact Wrestling intro theme…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis were on commentary…

1. Rich Swann vs. “All Ego” Ethan Page in a non-title match. Josh said that he always reiterates that pinning a champion will get you into title match consideration. Josh Mathews then promised updates on John Impact and Brian Cage stemming from last week’s main event. Page dominated a bit but Swann quickly grounded Page with a headscissors and back stomp. Page hit Swann with a reverse suplex for his own nearfall. Page then hit Swann with a backbreaker. Page went to argue with the crowd. Josh noted that this is how Page starts losing his matches when he lets his opponent recover.

After more gloating from Page, Swann was able to fend off Page with kicks to set up a blockbuster. Callis said that the fans are taking Page out of his gameplan. Page went to ringside and Swann slammed him with a flip dive. Swann hit Page with a frog splash for a nearfall. Ethan tried to cause a ref bump, but the child referee no sold the tackle.

John’s Thoughts: Thumbs up to the child referee guy for no selling a ref bump in [not] TNA for once.

Page slammed Swann using Swann’s hand and then hit Swann with a snow plow for a nearfall. Josh wondered if this was that Heavyweight-cruiserweight hybrid style he’s heard about (what?). Page and Swann traded right hands. Page’s right hand took Swann off his feet. Swann got Page to his knee with a spinning punch. Page and Swann traded pump kicks. Swann and Page then had a really impressive, and painful looking, Never Openweight strong style exchange in the center of the ring. Swann hit Page with a Lethal Injection and Phoenix Splash for the win.

Rich Swann defeated Ethan Page via pinfall in 8:04.

John’s Thoughts: A decent match with a really cool Japanese Strong Style sequence in the end. Page is still mishandled. I’m not sure how you handle him, but right now he’s just cannon fodder. Page also doesn’t have any discernible traits. He’s supposed to be “All Ego” but you have someone like Scarlett Bordeaux, or even Disco Inferno, who’s more “All Ego” than the “All Ego”. Callis also goes really ham on hyping up Page’s Tae Kwon Do yet we never see it in the ring. As an official Taekwondo Blue Belt myself, and I’m not saying that Page isn’t a black belt, Page should be showing some chamber kicks and shield blocks.

Josh talked about how Impact Wrestling and Rich Swann delivers yet another strong opening match. Sami Callihan, Jake Crist, and Dave Crist made their entrance to interrupt Swann’s celebration. Josh Mathews talked about how the Crist Brothers are former Tag Team Champions (and they haven’t won any meaningful tag matches ever since). Sami tried to talk but he was drowned out by “OVE Sucks” chants from the fans. Sami Callihan said, “tonight is the night”. Sami Callihan tried to recruit Rich Swann, yet again. Sami called the crowd sheep. Sami recapped Rich Swann calling Sami family at the (obviously fake) hospital. Sami tried to give Rich Swann OVE merch yet again.

Swann tried to throw the shirt at Sami again. Sami said that family fight all of the time, but Swann should know that family is “EVERYTHING!!!”. Swann then embraced Sami. Don Callis went over the top in saying that OVE recruited a number one draft pick. Swann put on the OVE merch. Swann joined the trio in their thumb thing but then superkicked Callihan in the back of the head. Swann then gave The Crist Brothers a double Lethal Injection. Swann ripped off the shirt and then walked to the back yelling in elation… [c]

John’s Thoughts: Hmmmm, mixed bag here. Performance wise, Sami was on point and I liked Callis going over the top to foreshadow the next sequence where Swann was going to blindside Sami. That said, you could have easily predicted this type of segment from about a mile away. I also feel like we’re just back at square one yet again in this meaningless feud where Sami tries to make Rich Swann wear an OVE shirt every week. Seriously, this feud has been spinning its wheels every week with Sami being nothing more than a shill for merchandise. This feud really needs a writer behind it because a writer would have noticed that the most intriguing part of the story was when Rich Swann and Sami Callihan had the ceasefire and the feud was built around putting Sympathy on Willie Mack.

In this week’s LAX clubhouse pre-tape, Santana wondered if Konnan got LAX their rematch against Lucha Bros. Konnan joked and repeated Ortiz’s “wanna get your ass kicked” line from a few matches ago. Ortiz said Konnan can joke but LAX won’t get their ass kicked if Konnan allowed LAX to do things LAX’s way. Konnan pointed that LAX aren’t the champs now because Ortiz had a big mouth that one time. Konnan asked LAX to let him do his job as a manager while LAX could do their job forming notes from the Lucha Brothers vs. Rascalz match later on. Konnan left while LAX discussed things a bit…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis checked in from ringside. Josh Mathews recapped Johnny Impact and Brian Cage needing medical attention after last week’s main event…

Josh sent things to last week where “Investigative reporter” Rolando Melendez caught up with Brian Cage and Cage’s ringside doctor after his match. Rolando tried to ask Cage about not getting over the hump yet again. Cage was woozy and asked Rolando “are you serious?”. the referees kicked Rolando out of the closet that they were treating Cage in…

The show cut back to Callis and Josh. Josh talked about how Cage has a contract for a match against Johnny. Josh also promised an update on Johnny Impact who was in Los Angeles with Taya. Josh also hyped “The Dark War!!!”(God help us). Josh then asked, where is Glenn Gilbertti (Disco Inferno) …

Ace Austin made his Impact debut. Josh noted that Ace’s act is built around card puns. Ace’s opponent was local California Independent Wrestler Jake Atlas. Ace came out cosplaying as what looks like Gambit from the X-Men (if this guy teams up with Brian Cage and Leva Bates, then Impact can create their own X-men stable)…

John’s Thoughts: Oh! Cool to see Jake Atlas on Impact. Atlas actually has a WWE connection because he was one of the featured wrestlers on the Stephanie McMahon episode of Undercover Boss where Jake came out as gay to Stephanie during the on-air job interview. WWE recently posted a feature of him on their YouTube channel talking about how Stephanie McMahon followed through on the show and has set him up with several WWE tryouts. He had one in January. From what I see at indie shows, he comes off as a good guy and a really good wrestler.

2. Ace Austin vs. Jake Atlas. Josh said Ace calls himself a Parkour Artist. Ace grounded Jake and kicked Jake with a roundhouse. Ace then hit a Capoeira combo and a basement Yakuza kick. Atlas tried to the tables but Ace did an evasion sequence in the corner. Atlas hit Austin with a pump kick. Atlas escaped the corner and hit a Beautiful Disaster Kick on Atlas. Atlas hit Austin with a modified Murphy’s Law for a nearfall. Austin hit a kick combination on Atlas to get him on his knees. Austin double stomped Atlas’s hands to the mat and then followed up with a running blockbuster for the victory.

Ace Austin defeated Jake Atlas via pinfall in 3:30.

John’s Thoughts: A simple and effective debut for Austin. This is a formula that works and I think Austin got over that he’s good at kicks and good at evasion. Looking forward to seeing this guy climb up the ladder (and hopefully not end up like Ethan Page or Rohit Raju).

Josh sent things over to Rolando Melendez who called himself Rolando “Menendez” (A few weeks ago Rafael Morffi called himself Rolando “Melenez”. I’m guessing he’s not sure what his kayfabe name is). Rolando talked to Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie via Satellite in Los Angeles, CA. Rolando said people are saying that Johnny let Cage down. Taya cut in and said that wasn’t even a question. Johnny went into emotional mode and said he let Brian down. Johnny said Brian has been in the business long enough to know that people get hurt.

Johnny said he didn’t plan to get the injury but Johnny has to deal with it now. Rolando said many people wrestle through injuries. Taya butted in again and complained that Johnny might have to get a neck fusion surgery. Rolando went over the top (in a strange trailer voice) and asked Johnny if he will keep his word to give Cage a title match. Johnny said you’re only as good as your word in the business. Johnny said he promised Cage a title shot even if he has to get surgery. Rolando then calmly said “There you have it. Neck, fusion.”. He then did a calm outro to the segment…

John’s Thoughts: Hmmm… That was a very interesting segment in a good way. I think it’s clear that they’re turning Johnny to some extent. Taya was acting closer to her more “bitchy”, for a lack of a better term, persona that she used in Lucha Underground. Johnny was also intentionally sappy it would seem. I think Johnny can be a great babyface if done right (like in Lucha Underground season 4), but it’s easier for him to act as a heel so this might be a fun ride with less cost. It helps that Cage is in a good position to be the flagship babyface. I also wonder. Are they setting up Rafael Morffi as a hired goon for Johnny? Maybe not, but it would be a cool attention to detail if the reason he keeps screwing up his kayfabe last name is because he’s playing a kayfabe character for Johnny.

The Reno Scum cut a promo. It was essentially an 80s style Road Warrior powerhouse-type promo. Luster ended the promo by saying “Get ready to be silenced by the violence. Oi oi oi”. They were calling out Bahh and KM…

Josh said that Reno Scum accepted KM and Bahh’s rematch request…

Alisha Edwards made her entrance wearing street clothes. Josh said she had an important announcement. Callis said he thinks that Alisha is getting rid of Eddie Edwards for good and eliminating the crazy in her life. Alisha Edwards thanked Impact Wrestling and the Fans. Alisha talked about how her contract was up at the end of the month and she was stepping away to look at her future and possibly start a family at home.

Rohit Raju, Raj Singh, and Gama Singh made their entrance to interrupt Alisha’s announcement. Rohit Raju took the mic. Rohit said Alisha is a women who’s finally making sense. Rohit called The Women’s Empowerment movement “hot garbage”. Rohit said Alisha’s heart is calling her to be a housewife because it’s her job. Callis said someone needs to cut the mic. Raj said Alisha is sounding very intelligent by stepping away. Raj said every women should do what Alisha is doing because every woman isn’t suited for the ring and more suited for the home. Callis said Raj sounds like he’s from the 1800s.

Gama took the mic and said God created woman for one thing, to stay home, cook food, clean house, and serve their man. Wait? Gama believes in Christianity? Alisha Edwards slapped Gama for being a male chauvinist. Eddie Edwards and his stick ran out to hit the Desi Hit Squad. Eddie went into weird open mouth mode to approach Gama. This allowed Raj and Rohit to stomp out Edwards. Eli Drake walked out slowly to watch Eddie Edwards get beat up. Drake went in the ring to handshake the Desi Hit Squad. Drake said he was waiting for this for a long time. Drake then turned on the Hit Squad and hit both Raj and Rohit with Gravy Trains. Gama begged in the corner and rolled away. Josh said this friendship between Edwards and Drake confuses him…

John’s Thoughts: While there were a lot of broken characters in the ring from an interest standpoint, I’m not gonna front, that was actually a solid way to start an Eddie Edwards and Drake tag team. Gama and Alisha still sounded like robots, but Gama’s male chauvinist lines were simple and they finally worked. The only think that mucks up the entire scene is “Crazy Eddie” which Eli Drake has been right about the whole time. Crazy Eddie has been a total flop. Hopefully Eddie becomes Wolf Eddie sooner rather than later.

Rolando Menendez was creeping outside of Brian Cage’s hotel room like he was Josh Mathews trying to perform a WWE interview. Rolando sounded patronizing in asking Cage if he feels better. Cage said Rolando is that little troll who tried to interview him while he was bleeding to death. Rolando said he’s only asking the tough question. Rolando then showed Cage his interview with Johnny on the smartphone. Cage ended up not watching and told Rolando that nobody likes a “sh*t stirrer”. Cage shoved Rolando aside and walked away… [c]

John’s Thoughts: We’re oddly getting a lot of Rolando all night.

Eddie Edwards and Alisha Edwards were arguing backstage. Eli Drake walked up to them and Eddie thanked Eli. Drake then proposed going after the Tag titles. Eddie said he already did the tag team thing and he and Kenny are good. Alisha Edwards then went into her old act of yelling at poor Eddie. Alisha said Eli is the only person that would be with Eddie. Alisha then walked away saying that she doesn’t know why she’s still with Eddie. Drake said Alisha has a point. Drake then reiterated his tag team proposal and then proposed a match against Desi Hit Squad. Drake agreed…

Josh Mathews advertised “Clash in the Bluegrass” which is Impact’s One Night Only with OVW which you can now watch on GWN. Josh then ran through the United We Stand card again…

It was time for the Global Wrestling Network Match of the Week which was The American Wolves vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Team 3D in a ladder match for the Tag Team Championships from No Surrender 2014. Thankfully they aired about 4 minutes of a match this week…

John’s Thoughts: Melissa Santos said during the commercial break that these “match of the week” segments were voted by the fans somehow after Impact gave them three options.

Melissa Santos interviewed Moose and Killer Kross who were both wearing sunglasses. Moose’s funny attire of the week was an all pink dress suit and shirt. Moose also had a S–t eating grin on his face. Melissa informed Moose and Kross that Cage was released from the hospital and Johnny was at home in a neckbrase. Melissa asked Moose what was next for them. Moose said this was a great day and he feels fabulous. Moose then went into his sexy creeper voice and told Melissa that Melissa is beautiful “just like I am”. Moose said he pulled out the Jean Paul Gaultier suit just for Kross. Kross said that was impressive and Moose is ahead of the times in terms of fashion. Kross then went into serious mode in talking about how nobody gets a title shot if Kross or Moose don’t get a shot. Kross said the next time he sees Johnny without a title shot in hand, he’ll send Johnny back to the hospital.

Moose called Johnny Impact Johnny Neck brace. Moose invited Kross to dinner with him because he got reservations at the best steakhouse in Las Vegas. Moose put his arm around Melissa and told Melissa to be his date tonight. Melissa shoved Moose away and left the interview. Moose looked offended…

John’s Thoughts: Who knew Moose was funny as hell and all it took was a heel turn? Anyway, aside from LAX matches, the reason you should watch Impact every week is to see Moose’s random attire and promo. That and Kross is a top star in all of wrestling waiting to happen.

The Rascalz did one of their random bad That’s 70s Show tributes which included bad Adobe After Effects and sound effects. The gist of this segment is that they stole Kikutaro’s mask (Kikutaro is a Japanese comedy wrestler who you may know from Lucha Underground as the Pizza guy). They continued to act stoned (someone give these guys a “real” brownie or something)…

Dammit. It’s time for the Dark War…

John’s Thoughts: Apparently “The Dark War” means the return of Sin Cara’s mood lighting…

3. Rosemary, Kiera Hogan, and Jordynne Grace vs. Su Yung, Dark Allie, and Undead Maid of Honor (w/James Mitchell). Rosemary had a cool plastic skull mask before the match. This week’s UDMOH was different from the other UDMOHs. Rosemary brought a dog leash to the ring. They turned on the odd mood lighting for this match. Kiera Hogan hit Su yung with a series of hip attacks.

John’s Thoughts: By the way, it’s really annoying covering this match already. Just because they turned on the red mood lighting and it’s giving off a Nintendo Virtual Boy vibe which hurts the eyes.

Allie and Rosemary tagged in. Allie slapped herself. Allie then did the heel thing of ducking out and tagging in UDMOH. Rosemary punched UDMOH around. Rosemary hit UDMOH with a tarantula hold. Grace and Allie tagged in. Grace hit a few power moves and tagged in Kiera. Grace suplexed Kiera on Allie. UDMOH held Kiera’s leg so Allie could hit Kiera with a cutter. [c]

John’s Thoughts: Is Jeff Jarrett secretly writing this show too? Did someone accidentally read Disco Inferno’s script? Virtual Boy mood lights? Oh! I get it, the “Dark” part of the Dark War means they were just dimming the lights.

The heels beat up on Kiera in the corner and traded quick tags. This boring isolation lasted a good while. Kiera managed to escape somehow and kicked Allie to give herself a window of opportunity for the tag. Rosemary tagged in and blocked Allie away from her corner. Su Yung clumsily hit Allie with a palm strike by accident (must have been because of the lighting). Rosemary hit Allie with a Scorpion Death Drop. UDMOH hit Rosemary with a helicopter side slam. Su Yung hit Kiera with a Panic Switch. More random finishers ensued. UDMOH held Rosemary back and Su Yung accidently spit mist in UDMOH’s face. Kiera and Grace got rid of Su Yung and Allie. Somehow Rosemary got the pinfall win on UDMOH. I think Callis mentioned it was a spear (but was he sure?).

Rosemary, Kiera Hogan, and Jordynne Grace defeated Su Yung, Dark Allie, and UDMOH via pinfall in 8:24 of TV time.

Kiera Hogan and Jordynne Grace held Allie so Su Yung could put a collar on her neck (what?). Happy Women’s day folks! (I kid). James Mitchell held back Su Yung. Josh said the Dark War was now over. Thank God!!!

John’s Thoughts: What the F–k was that sh-t? This consisted of physical and mental pain because of the strip club lights and how this story sucks. On top of that, the match was really bad. Su Yung looked like a klutz by accidently hitting her own teammates several times. Su Yung is such a cool character and Impact has buried her to the Nth degree. She’s their version of WWE’s Bray Wyatt.

The Disco Inferno, Glenn Gilbertti, was wandering around backstage again where he ran into Konnan. Disco ranted to Konnan about his last few weeks in Impact. Disco said Callis hired him, nobody has a clue what Disco’s job is, and “I think I got screwed?”. Disco asked Konnan for Don Callis’s location. Konnan tried to stir up Disco by telling Disco that Callis wants Disco to be a mascot, either dressing up as an Owl or a Canadian Flag (hey! That’s Petey Williams’ job!). Konnan then stroked Disco’s ego by saying “you’re not a flag, you’re from the mean streets of Marietta, Georgia”. Disco then innocently said, “I’m a booty shaking badass”. Konnan then pointed out the office of Don Callis and said that Disco should go in there, cut a promo, and kick his ass.

Konnan said he’d watch the door. Disco entered the room and said, “I knew you were going to screw me over!”. There was a bald man sitting down and looking like he was reading poetry. Disco said, “There’s not a lot of guys in the business that I can whoop the ass of, but you’re definitely one of them”. Disco then said, “fight me you bald son of a bitch”. The bald poetry-reading man stood up and was Killer Kevin Kross. Disco then went back into innocent mode when he figured out it was Kross who gave Disco death stares and glares. Disco then cowered and tried to apologize. Suddenly the lights went out and Disco presumably was mauled by Kross.

Disco was then walking around the hallway in a daze. Suddenly, Disco heard the voice of what sounded like Scott D’Amore doing a bad Vince Russo impression. Disco heard it coming from the same room Kross was in before. Disco went into the room thinking that it was Vince Russo. Instead, Disco found a random douchebag in the room and he walked away disappointed. Disco continued to stumble around into he ran into a random butt sticking out of a door. Disco said the only person who wears white pants after Labor Day is Jeff Jarrett. Instead, he found Cage’s doctor. Disco told the doctor “you look like an idiot”. Disco continued to wander around in a daze.

Heavenly music started playing as Disco thought he walked into “Cody, Matt, and Nick” because he saw two long haired guys and a blonde crew cut. Disco asked them if he could get an EVP job at AEW. Instead, he found a random blonde guy and two indie wrestlers wearing long haired wigs for some reason. Disco said, “who the hell are you schmucks? What is going on around here?!?” as Disco walked around like he was walking in a bad dream. Disco then finally found a lifeline in Scott D’Amore who was producing things in Gorilla Position. Disco said he was looking for Callis and D’Amore told Disco that Callis does color commentary. Disco then walked to the announce table…

John’s Thoughts: Thank God for Disco (?). I needed that after the preceding Undead crap. That was actually fun, funny, and well written. There was some Lucha Underground and Broken Universe in there (minus Jeremy Borash’s high quality camerawork). Ultimately, it was actually funny, intelligent, and Disco was very charming in a goofy way. Like Lucha Underground (and unlike the dumbass Undead Realm) this one had good attention to detail, good acting, and great comedic timing. Even the hamfisted nod to Vince Russo was fun after the random D-bag showed up in the room for some absurdist humor. Go out of your way to see it (In fact, I’ll post it right below these thoughts). “The booty shaking badass” even found a way to elevate Kross in a fun comedy segment.

Disco Inferno, Glenn Gilbertti joined Josh Mathews and Don Callis on commentary. Josh left the table to introduce Scarlett Bordeaux for her announcement. Disco and Don connected on commentary in their common horniness for Scarlett. Before asking about the opponent, Josh recapped the Talent Search and tried to ask Scarlett what led to her picking herself as the winner. Scarlett then joked about Disco Inferno being the worst person to apply for her services.

Disco left the table to confront Scarlett about the insults. Disco then questioned why Scarlett is trying to wrestle even though she’s the hottest star in the business by just walking around and strutting her stuff. Disco said if Scarlett wrestles she’s only going to suck. Disco said Women’s Wrestling was only good when there were bra and panties matches. Disco said “Bra and Panties” would be the only reason Scarlett should wrestle. Scarlett then said she had a message to all of the misogynistic men in her life. Scarlett slapped Glenn. Scarlett said Disco only believes Scarlett can’t wrestle because Disco is bigger and stronger than Scarlett. Disco agreed. Scarlett said she could kick Disco’s ass.

Disco said the women’s revolution is making crazy things come out of Scarlett’s mouth. Disco then told Scarlett to go home to her husband, go shopping, go buy groceries, cook food, wash dishes, and do the laundry. Disco said when Scarlett’s head is where it needs to be and she still thinks she can kick Disco’s ass, “you don’t have to look far to find me, honey”. Josh was walking around bug-eyed trying to hold back laughs. Callis sold it as Disco accepting Scarlett’s first match. Scarlett said Disco may think she’s just a woman but she was going to make Disco her bitch the next time she sees Disco…

John’s Thoughts: While I did see a good amount of Disco in the 90s, I never knew the guy was that good of a talker. I expected to hate everything involving Disco given his legend of being very campy, but that was all very solid work. Disco really sold his match with Scarlett there. Scarlett was good too, but her popularity is starting drop a bit in recent months (look at how the last few months or social media retweets and YouTube views have dropped ever since they started to go “shades of grey” with her). In a writing sense, I do think it is a valid question to ask as to why Scarlett has to become a wrestler. Look at Maria Kanellis back in the day when she started wrestling. Look at Lana today, who was a great character back then? Am I agreeing with Disco to some extent? (Trust me though, I don’t agree with is views on women’s wrestling, but it doesn’t hurt to take a devil’s advocate approach to situations).

Oh god. It was Undead Realm time. Rosemary dragged Dark Allie around via a leash to a random backyard as Kiera Hogan was extra giddy. Rosemary said Kiera needs to go home. Kiera didn’t want to leave. Jordynne Grace said a deal was a deal and they got Allie back. Kiera said that’s not Allie but rather a soulless shell of Allie. Rosemary said “Firefly” is being a bit out of her depths. Grace said this isn’t Grace’s area of expertise and she thinks they should leave. Kiera said she was going to stay to the end. Rosemary said it was the end for Allie… [c]

John’s Thoughts: Ugh. Please don’t tell me they’re going to bring back Madison Rayne as a zombie. Anyway, this hellhole of a storyline is never going to end and Impact continues to hold a majority of their talented Women’s roster in this hellhole. Even Jordynne Grace pointed out in the last segment how she doesn’t even want to be here.

An ad aired for Impact Wrestling’s “Rebellion” PPV…

Josh Mathews advertised Scarlett Bordeaux vs. Glenn Gilbertti for their Against All Odds TNA-PPV-themed show which is happening in three weeks…

Melissa Santos told Tessa Blanchard that Impact management booked a Tessa Blanchard vs. Jordynne Grace match in three weeks in a number one contender’s match (Thank God almighty! Grace has been freed from the Undead prison!). Tessa continued to act bratty while also blaming Gail Kim. Tessa reiterated her claims of Impact management’s nepotism towards Gail Kim. Tessa then talked about how she always gets what she wants…

Josh Mathews and Don Callis checked in at ringside. Josh Mathews advertised upcoming shows including Against All Odds and United We Stand…

The tag teams for the main event of the show made their entrance… [c]

4. “The Lucha Brothers” Pentagon Jr. and Fenix vs. “The Rascalz” Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz (w/Trey Miguel) in a non-title match. Josh Mathews said he could call Lucha Brothers matches for the rest of his career. Lucha Underground regulars Dezmond Xavier and Fenix started off the match with some grounded chain wrestling. Dezmond tried to gloat after a shoulder tackle but Fenix stood right up and dared Dez to go again. Dez instead gave Fenix a superkick that Fenix didn’t expect. Dez did his Rascalz hand thing which allowed Fenix to kick both Dez and Zach.

Fenix hit Dez with an armdrag and Pentagon held Dezmond so Fenix could hit him with a stomp. Pentagon hit Fenix with a wheelbarrow slam on Dez to give Fenix a nearfall on Dez. Pentagon did his Cero Miedo pie face routine on Dezmond. Dezmond used his signature CQC moves to escape and knock down both Lucha Brothers. Wentz tagged in and started to hit Fenix with a karate combination. After trading dodges, Zach hit Fenix with a high knee for a nearfall. Zach mocked the Cero Miedo with his Rascalz hand thing (that was a bit clever, just a bit). Pentagon kicked away both opponents. Penta did his Cero Miedo thing which allowed Zachary to toss him out of the ring.

Fenix went high risk but Zachary knocked Fenix off the top rope with a palm strike. In a coon an innovative move, Wentz launched Dezmond from the ground to over the top of the ringpost to the ground with a Tope Con Hilo (that was sweet) on Lucha Bros. Wentz hit a Moonsault on Penta while Dez hit a Final Flash on Penta to give Wentz a nearfall that Fenix broke up. Dezmond and Fenix traded fatigued strikes in the center of the ring. Fenix countered Dez’s CQC with a ripcord whip. Penta sent Dez outside. Fenix hit Wentz with a slicing sobat. Pentagon gave Wentz a Pentagon Driver with an adjunct Superkick from Fenix to give the Lucha Brothers a pinfall win.

The Lucha Brothers defeated The Rascalz via pinfall in 7:48.

Pentagon and Fenix celebrated their win after the match as Josh Mathews recapped the solid match…

Pentagon Jr. and Fenix then walked to the back where they were now subtitled. They met up with Konnan. Pentagon told Konnan to tell LAX to not mess with their masks. Fenix repeated it in English. Konnan said LAX was justified because both Lucha Brothers put their hands all up in LAX’s faces. Pentagon said he didn’t touch them physically (but he did?). Pentagon said they showed respect after the match (no they didn’t? LAX was the ones being respectful). Konnan said this is exactly what he didn’t want, the bickering. Pentagon argued “they started it!”. Konnan said he’ll fix everything but he needs Penta and Fenix to give Santana and Ortiz a rematch. Fenix said no and it was too soon. Pentagon said they have to wait for a rematch. Konnan told Pentagon to give him a better answer the next time he sees them. Konnan left. Pentagon asked Fenix why they even have to listen to Konnan. Fenix calmed Pentagon down and the duo walked away to close Impact…

John’s Thoughts: A good match as expected, especially that launch spot by the Rascalz. I may be reading into it a bit too much, but as a person who’s seen Fenix wrestle for years, to me it seemed like Fenix was a step off due to his injury. He still looked really good though, but less hard hitting. I was intrigued by the post-match angle. White meat babyface Pentagon still annoys the hell out of me because it doesn’t allow him to cut the masterful promos that I’ve seen the guy cut in the various Southern California promotions for years. Now he’s “just a regular guy who wrestles well”. Where’s the badass Pentagon that pummeled Vampiro and sacrificed souls to his master while also calling them “putos”. The Lucha Brothers came off as very childish and petulant in their interaction with Konnan.

If I were booking things, I would have this somehow lead to a Pentagon Jr. vs. Konnan feud. Pentagon became a sensation after having a feud-of-the-year feud with the very old and limited Vampiro. Konnan is better on the microphone than Vamp and I think if given freedom, Pentagon and Konnan can have a great feud. Pentagon is a great promo, trust me (and check out my Lucha Underground reviews). Fenix should be the white knight because that’s what he’s good at. Instead he’s “Pentagon’s little brother” and always over-excited. I only say this because I’ve seen these guys booked well in other places (and while I think MLW is doing a decent job with them, I don’t think they’ve utilized them the best either. I did like what I saw from them at the AEW press conference and hope that Pentagon is allowed to be an A-hole again).

Anyway, this wasn’t as hot as the last two weeks of shows. In fact, the Undead Realm stuff with the strip club lights really pissed me off. I wonder if I just liked the Disco Inferno stuff because it was relatively better than the Undead Realm, but in my opinion, I thought it was really really good, at least as a guilty pleasure. The best match of the show might have been Ethan Page vs. Rich Swann, but Swann always has good opening matches and the subsequent angle was a bit underwhelming. But hey, not all weeks can be great weeks. The last several months of shows have been great on Impact and it’s just the Undead Realm stuff that really caused physical eye pain and dragged this down for a stretch.

Average Twitch Viewership: Around 7,000 (close to 10,000 viewers less than last week)



The new edition of the Pro Wrestling Boom Podcast with Jason Powell features Ricky Starks on his NWA run, doing enhancement work for WWE, leaving NOLA due to Hurricane Katrina, the January 24 NWA Hard Times PPV on FITE.TV, his relationship with Nick Aldis, and much more...


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