By John Moore, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)
Impact Wrestling on PopTV
Taped January 2018 in Orlando, Florida at Universal Studios
Eddie Edwards was shown walking through the studio lot in preparation for his match against Sami Callihan. Josh Mathews noted that Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards was the main event of this show. The intro teaser focused on an upcoming clash between Ethan Carter III and Tyrus…
John’s Thoughts: A bit odd placement here. Edwards vs. Callihan in the main event is a main event worthy match given the talents involved. This is out of place here because the storyline they are involved in doesn’t make sense on the end of Edwards. OVE and Edwards have no issues between each other and last week Lashley and Edwards dispatched them. I say this every week but they are missing a vignette or even an Impact episode to explain things.
EC3 made his entrance first followed by Tyrus. Josh Mathews advertised the Fox News Greg Gutfeld show and the GLOW Netflix series as places you can find Tyrus outside of Impact. Tyrus threw his bling for fans to catch which means he’s a babyface right?
1. Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus. EC3 yelled in the face of Tyrus and was cheered on by his fan club (there’s this small group of fans in the front row who seem to be the only wrestling fans in Universal). Tyrus shoved EC3. EC3 tried to talk Tyrus to his senses while also doing leg stretches against the barricade. Tyrus did some stretches too. EC3 took another shove and then decided to walk up half the ramp. Josh advertised the “Last Chancery” Twitch show from Border City Wrestling which you can watch on Twitch March 9th.
John’s Thoughts: Thank goodness. I hope they advertising more twitch footage that I’m not going to watch means they are going to keep that low budget stuff away from the main show. To their credit, Twitch is a great platform to be on and it does receive large viewership. Whether poorly lit and random indie matches is a viewership draw? Who am I to judge?
Sonjay compared Ethan’s stalling to Larry Zbyszko. Josh Mathews liked it because it allowed him to get his advertisements out of the way. EC3 stalled for a long while. EC3 took some selfies with fans. EC3 did a lap around the ring. Tyrus grabbed and bit the finger of Ethan. EC3 decided to do some cartoony Ric Flair chops. EC3 continued to act like a cartoon by running into Tyrus’s chest which Tyrus nosold. Somebody call EC3’s momma.
Tyrus gave EC3 a body slam and atomic drop. Tyrus did a hip gyrations and hip attacks to EC3 in the corner. Tyrus followed up with a bionic elbow. The match was so inconsequential that Josh Mathews decided to advertise Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground. EC3 managed to ground Tyrus with a double axe handle. A chinlock sequence ensued. EC3 staggered Tyrus with a jawbreaker. Tyrus blocked a Stinger Splash with a shove and T-Bone suplex. Tyrus hit EC3 with the Stinger Splash. The crowd chanted “one more time”. EC3 managed to sneak in an eye poke. Josh Mathews reminded us that the referee’s name is Johnny Bravo.
John’s Thoughts: This referee might be my favorite referee in professional wrestling simply due to his name alone.
EC3 went for the One Percenter but decided to yell at Tyrus first. Tyrus managed to hit the One percenter instead. Tyrus hit EC3 with a chokeslam for the pinfall victory.
Tyrus defeated Ethan Carter III via pinfall in 8:10.
Tyrus went on the ropes and said “I’m the main event player”…
John’s Thoughts: There wasn’t anything too offensive about the match. It was comedy and schtick. I couldn’t help but feel like I was watching a Derrick Bateman vs. Brodus Clay match from WWE Superstars. Very odd. EC3 cut some powerful promos the past few weeks and had some inspired in-ring work. This week was all comedy and stall. EC3 was Impact’s most protected wrestler at one point and now he’s doing jobs to Tyrus? I get putting someone over on your way out the door but, F’n Tyrus? Why not have Brian Cage do this? Fallah Bahh would have gained more from this match than Brodus Clay. At least I can look forward to Ethan Carter III vs. Kassius Ohno at the next Takeover show (at least I assume it’s Ohno. If this were March 2017 it would have been EC3 vs. Andrade Almas since Almas was NXT’s designated enhancement talent to the indy stars at the time).
Joseph Park was shown supposedly talking to Grandma Jenny on the cellphone. Park promised Jenny that Abyss was not coming out and he was going to take down the monster Kong himself. Park wanted to know if Jenny believed in him. Jenny didn’t and Park agreed… [C]
It was time for an OVE cinematic where Sami Callihan dug through a handful of Impact wrestler ad photos. Callihan dug through and found a ripped up Eddie Edwards picture. Callihan said you thought this was fun and games, could do whatever you want, and stick your nose in OVE’s business. Callihan said that that’s not going to happen because OVE takes this personal. Callihan said OVE is watching everything you do in your home. I’m assuming he’s talking about Eddie Edwards. Callihan said they have people on the inside, outside, and in the streets. Callihan said OVE is a religion. Callihan talked about how they are taking over everything, are going to hurt Eddie, and are coming for Eddie. Callihan said they were for Ohio, by Ohio, and they are Ohio vs. Everything… EVERYTHING… EVERYTHING!!!
John’s Thoughts: Sooooo… Are we supposed to be weary of being attacked by people from Ohio? Some of what the guy says is goofy, but Callihan is such a good talker that he makes it work. Cool to see the return of the cool OVE/LAX cinematics because those things are mad cool and make Impact stand out as different.
Josh Mathews and Sonjay Dutt were shown in a blue screen room. This looked like the same room they used for the 2015 TNA World Title Series. Dutt has a thick beard now. Dutt said Edwards and Lashley have a new found mutual respect and they should be careful OVE lurking. The commentators ran through the rest of the advertised card…
Back at the Impact Zone, El Hijo Del Fantasma made his entrance and he is the AAA Latin American Champion. Fantasma wore a cool looking Skull Mask. I always wanted to see Skullomania as a live action luchador. Braxton Sutter was already in the ring and got no televised entrance…
2. El Hijo Del Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter. Sutter wanted to start the match with a handshake. Fantasma accepted and there was no funny business. The early part of the match contained chain wrestling. Fantasma and Sutter had a stalemate. Fantasma gained the upper hand with a huracanrana. Fantasma caught Sutter with an enziguri. Sutter dodged a crossbody which allowed him to tail Fantasma with shortarm clotheslines. Sutter locked in a chinlock. Dutt said this was a new and more aggressive Sutter.
Sutter stomped a mudhole in Fantasma in the corner. Fantasma hit a few knees and a thrust kick. Fantasma hit the Arrow From the Depths of Hell which Dutt said is the greatest Suicide Dive in Pro Wrestling (To Dutt’s credit, you have to see Fantasma perform one of these dives live. I saw it at a live event and I agree. It is the best suicide dive I’ve ever seen). Sutter returned a kick with a lariat. Sutter tried to win with his feet on the ropes. Josh and Dutt got heavy handed in trying to say that this was a “new” more evil Sutter. Sutter tried to get another pinfall with hands on the tights. Fantasma staggered Sutter with a knee and hit The Trill of the Hunt for the win.
El Hijo Del Fantasma defeated Braxton Sutter via pinfall in 5:23.
Josh Mathews reminded viewers that Fantasma defeated a “different” Braxton Sutter. The camera stuck on Sutter who cut a promo. He said Allie’s not out here for a reason because Allie ruins lives. Sutter talked about how he was disrespected despite the company going through many management changes. Sutter complained about not getting a televised entrance. Dutt let out a huge laugh.
“The Machine” Brian Cage made his entrance, now wearing yellow attire (That and all of his X-Men references in his moveset makes me think the guy is slowly transforming into Wolverine). Cage went straight to business by delivering a discus lariat to Sutter. Cage hit the Drill Claw on Sutter. Mathews pointed out the sweat stain that the top of Sutter’s head left on the mat…
John’s Thoughts: A simple squash made to show that Sutter is a bad guy. We kinda knew that in his storyline with Garza Jr. a few months ago. Dutt and Mathews being so heavy handed on the mic gave me memories of Matt Striker and Vampiro being just as cheesy in talking about how Killshot is now more “military”. I like Fantasma’s new mask but I feel like Impact should repackage Fantasma to be a main eventer. In Lucha Underground, Fantasma has proven that he can be a strong main event heel as the King Cuerno bounty hunter gimmick. Not to mention, Fantasma speaks perfect English and has cut some very good promos when given cinematic and mic time.
It was time for the Pluto TV rewind of the week. This week’s rewind had Scott Steiner interrupting an Ultimate X match. Steiner saved Jeff Jarrett from some guy wearing a sweater and sweatpants from giving him a sharpshooter. Was that an out of shape and pedestrian Sting/Steve Borden?
Josh Mathews mentioned that Scott Steiner will be at their WrestleCon event. They then cut to a Matt Sydal vignette. Sydal talked about enlightenment. They had soundbites of EC3 calling Sydal a choke artist with Jeremy Borash commentary spliced in. Highlights were shown of Sydal beating EC3 for the Grand Championship. Sydal said his spirit guide helped him merge some things and open his third eye. Sydal said he wants to share his advisor with everyone so he can help everyone open their third eye.
McKenzie Mitchell interviewed Matt Sydal about challenging Taiji Ishimori next week to try to become a double champion. Sydal started to talk about his third eye and things but was cut off by Taiji Ishimori who handed him a “Japanese scroll”. Sydal said he doesn’t understand Japanese. Mitchell said it was in English and Sydal asked if she could read it to him. Mitchell said the scroll had a counter-challenge with Ishimori wanting Sydal to put his Grand Championship on the line. The scroll said Ishimori wants to show his people in Japan both belts and that Sydal is a choke artist. Ishimori told Sydal “You are Douchebag”. Josh Mathews said Ishimori has to be careful…
John’s Thoughts: I know Sydal has been acting like a strange yoga hippy, but that’s no reason to call the guy a douchebag out of nowhere. That kinda made Ishimori, the guy I’m assuming is the babyface, look like a douchebag. The best part though, is we’re getting a title unification it seems and they can start scrapping these useless Global Force belts.
Kongo Kong made his entrance. Jimmy Jacobs was there too. Joseph Park got an entrance and had his usual worried face… [C]
3. Kongo Kong (w/Jimmy Jacobs) vs. Joseph Park. Park brought up the fists and was shoved by Kong. Park tried to slap the chest of Kong to no avail. Kong cornered Park and gave him some punches. Park tried to headbutt Kong but Park sold the pain. Park managed to take down Kong with a shoulder tackle. Kong came back as Park was celebrating his one offensive maneuver. Kong hit Park with a cannonball and splash for the victory.
Kongo Kong defeated Joseph Park via pinfall in 2:15.
Jimmy Jacobs asked Park if Abyss was coming out to play. Kong strangled Park with the scarf of Jacobs. Mathews said this was uncalled for. Jacobs said he was just getting started. He and Kong walked up the ramp as Kong’s theme played…
John’s Thoughts: I had a bit of deja vu here and I was right. You can check out my Impact report HERE from August 10th of last year. We already got this match, just with Grado on Park’s side. Same result. The only difference was Kong was in a much better spot back then when they were doing the simple and effective squash matches. Kong and Laurel Van Ness also had a good oddball chemistry to them while Kong and Jacobs just do not have chemistry as a pair; and I liked Jimmy Jacobs’ work in Ring of Honor and Wrestling Society X as this Zombie Princess character and the Emo tag partner of Seth Rollins.
The show cut to a cinematic where Trevor Lee and Caleb Konley were acting like a couple of dorky goofballs. Konley brought back the Hawaiian shirt. Lee was happy about having the fabric of LAX. Lee said they were going to take the belts away from LAX next. Konley wanted to know if other people were joining their party. The Mumbai Cats joined the party. Lee apologized to the Cats and said he just thought they were LAX based off their hair. Konley implied that Konnan scares the hell out of them. Konley and Lee celebrated with some shots. Konnan walked into the scene as some dark sounds played. Konnan called Lee and Konley “The Tossed Salad Boys”.
Konnan said Lee and “this little party girl” may have taken their bandanas but will not take their belts. Konnan said Lee and Konley try to act hard but are just marshmallow soft. Konnan said he’s surprised Lee and Konley aren’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. Lee and Konley tried to threaten Konnan for being alone. Konnan responded “or not?”. Santana and Ortiz were in the Mumbai uniforms as they went on to beat up the Cult of Lee guys. LAX tried to drown both opponents. Lee pleaded “I can’t swim”. Konnan said that’s even better. LAX tossed them into a pool… [C]
John’s Thoughts: There we go, I’m happy we got both an LAX and OVE cinematic tonight and they were both pretty good. It’s Konnan and Sami Callihan, these guys are on another level on the stick. It’s a shame though that Lee and Konley are presented as dorks. This is what I feared and just like Konnan going against Jake and Dave Crist. Konnan has the tendency to steamroll over bad promo deliverers and bad characters. You can see the contrast where Sami Callihan and Jim Cornette were able to have some good verbal sparring matches with him. All this is good and all, but Impact Wrestling still has that problem of having no real tag teams to go against LAX and OVE. Maybe it’s already time to put them back together, which I don’t want to see yet.
Alberto El Patron was giving a promo in a dark room. He looked like he was holding a flashlight to his face trying to tell scary stories, but I think he was trying to look menacing. El Patron essentially cut the same promo that he’s cut the last few weeks about people not deserving to be in the title match. El Patron said he’s the pride of Mexico and if you’re not with him, you’re against him. El Patron said the main goal is destruction. He ended his promo by saying “si, si, si”…
John’s Thoughts: At least he didn’t say the word “Tracero” this week. For some reason, he likes saying the word “ass” in Spanish.
4. Hania the Huntress vs. Rosemary. Rosemary caught Hania early on and gave her clubbing blows to her chest. Rosemary easily woman-handled Hania all over the ring. Dutt and Mathews decided to contemplate who Matt Sydal’s “spiritual advisor” was. Hania managed to turn the tide somehow but Rosemary came back and gave her modified tarantula on Hania. Rosemary hit Hania with a missile dropkick. Rosemary followed up with an exploder. Rosemary nailed Hania with a spear. Dutt pointed out how one sided this match was. Rosemary hit a Red Wedding (F5) on Hania for the victory.
Rosemary defeated Hania the Huntress via pinfall in 3:12.
Rosemary struck her bird pose in the middle of the ring as the camera showed the huge amount of Rosemary fans sprinkled in the front row. Rosemary called Hania a silly little shewolf who wanted to play. Rosemary said she was nothing more than a puppy dog. Rosemary said Rosemary the Demon Assassin is the “Alpha Bitch”. Rosemary talked to the hive about taking the knockouts championship back to the shadow. Rosemary said they will stop at nothing to reclaim it. Taya Valkyrie’s cool theme interrupted Rosemary (I really like the minor chords of that theme). Josh Mathews said Taya was trending worldwide (what the hell, Josh?).
John’s Thoughts: Is it just me, or does Taya, who got a perm and has a load of makeup on, look more like a blonde Melina Perez? I’m not saying that because she’s Johnny Mundo’s fiancé; but in Lucha Underground, they brought in Taya to play the role Melina was playing when Melina abruptly left the company. So I might just be associative.
Taya slowly walked to the ring in her ice queen uniform. Josh Mathews said it was the Alpha Bitch vs. Lucha Royalty. Taya brought a microphone to the ring. Taya asked Rosemary is she missed her. Taya said the hivelings missed her. The crowd booed. Taya said Rosemary was hilarious in calling herself the Alpha Bitch. Taya said the only true part of that statement is the bitch part. Taya said Rosemary should call herself Taya’s Bitch instead of Alpha Bitch. Rosemary wanted to fight now but Taya backed off. Rosemary started to back off which allowed Taya to blindside Rosemary and beat her up across the ramp. Taya gave Rosemary “The Road to Valhalla” (Glam Slam) on the middle of the ramp. There was a huge audible thud. Taya mounted the body of Rosemary and gave an evil witch laugh… [C]
John’s Thoughts: They sure brushed Hania under the rug quickly. That was easy. Anyway, Taya’s mic work left a little bit to be desired, She comes off better when she isn’t being chatty and bratty. It is great to see Taya back as this feud was just getting underway. Rosemary is one of the best in all of wrestling in playing up her character while Taya is a strong hardcore and technical wrestler. Random tangent and I really want to see this. With the whole talent exchange thing, can we get Rosemary in Lucha Underground somehow and have that lead to her becoming Lucha Underground World Champion? Rosemary totally belongs there and will raise up that show to another level with her character work. Sure beats being on Impact.
After recapping the last segment, the show cut to the Global Wrestling Moment of the Week. It was Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley from last year for the World Title. This was the show after Bound for Glory and you can check out my full review for that match if you wish…
A Laurel Van Ness vignette aired which showed highlights from her “transformation” since the Braxton Sutter wedding. Sad music played. Laurel said something about marriage. It was hard to hear…
KM made his entrance to wedding music. He slowly stepped his way to the ring with the Knockouts Championship which ad a blue bowtie on it. We were told that KM is a minister… [C]
Back from the break, Josh Mathews reminded the viewers that Laurel was left at the alter twice. Once by Braxton Sutter and once by Grado. KM welcomed Laurel Van Ness to the ring. She wore a wedding dress but had her overdone lipstick and no shoes. KM said he’s an officially ordained minister. KM said he’s done man-woman, woman-woman, and man-man weddings. KM said tonight he’s doing a woman on title wedding. KM said you can do that in 2018. Laurel wanted KM to skip to the good part which he thought was the yes and no. Laurel wanted to move to objections.
Braxton Sutter walked out to object. He was in his ring gear. Sutter said the meathead Brian Cage almost killed him. Sutter said it’s not true when near-death your life flashes before your eyes. Sutter said Laurel flashed before his eyes. Sutter said he agrees with Laurel now that Allie ruins people’s lives. Sutter said “Laurel, I love you”. Sutter got on his knee and proposed to get married to both Laurel and the title belt. Laurel yelled no several times and stomped him out of the ring. KM said, Epic Fail bro. Laurel wanted more objections. KM tried to move on but Laurel kept stalling. Allie snuck in the ring in a sweatshirt. Laurel yelled for Allie to come out and got Allie. Allie beat up Laurel all over the ring. After Laurel left the camera cut to the OVE handycam where Sami Callihan said “Thumbs up. Thumbs down.”.
John’s Thoughts: Ultimately, that was a really bad segment. Maybe someone liked it? It’s just hard not to compare it to the other wedding segment which included Maria and Mike Kanellis. Not sure what the Modus Operandi was here? It seemed to be a stretched-out version of the lame “secret admirer” payoff from last week. This may have made someone laugh in the back. What I did like a bit was KM who is really good as a dislikable guy. He’s someone that should mean more but of course [not-] TNA will always find a way to screw people up. I hate that the Only in TNA stuff is creeping back. Can we somehow turn this show into the NWA Ten Pounds of Gold show? Where’s my Magnus vs. James Ellsworth encounter?
Josh Mathews and Sonjay Dutt were going over upcoming matches for the Crossroads show: Allie vs. Laurel Van Ness for the Knockouts Title, Title vs. Title with Matt Sydal vs. Taiji Ishimori, possibly the identity of the “spiritual advisor”, LAX vs. Cult of Lee, OVE vs. Lashley and Edwards. and Johnny Impact vs. Austin Aries. Josh Mathews cut to a Johnny Impact and Austin Aries video package. Johnny Impact said it’s the first time he faced Austin Aries in the ring. Johnny said Aries is a brawler and technician. Aries said Johnny has an ego and looks like a million bucks.
Johnny said nobody dreams of “almost” being a champion. Johnny said he wasn’t “almost” a professional wrestler, he “is” a professional wrestler. Johnny said it is almost time to take the title from Aries. Aries said he hasn’t seen the dirty side of Johnny Impact yet and Johnny has to dig into that side to get the title. Johnny said he’s been in Impact for almost a year and has not held the championship yet which was the reason he came here. Aries said he doesn’t know why Johnny never got the title, it could be any reason. Aries said it doesn’t mean Johnny isn’t a main event player, the stars just haven aligned and they still won’t because Aries will be holding on to the belt…
John’s Thoughts: Don’t let that go under the radar. That was one nice piece of video package from this creative team and it may have been the best babyface promo that Johnny Impact has ever cut. It was heavily produced and had multiple cuts, but heavy editing is a great tool in hiding the weaknesses Johnny has in the promo game. It’s also good to hear Austin Aries start to establish himself as a babyface prizefighter champion.
OVE made their entrance with Sami Callihan hitting the ring area with his baseball bat. Eddie Edwards came out alone.
5. Sami Callihan (w/Jake and Dave Crist) vs. Eddie Edwards. Eddie and Sami started the match by trading positions at ringside and hitting each other with Topes. Edwards and Callihan brawled at ringside with Eddie owning the upper hand. Jake Crist pulled Eddie Edwards to ringside which caused Johnny Bravo to eject OVE from ringside. [C]
Eddie hit a flurry of strikes on Sami. Sami tried to start a rally with a palm strike but he took a belly to belly from Eddie. Eddie Edwards went for a Tiger Bomb on the apron but Callihan fought out. Callihan raked the eyes of Edwards and gave him a pile driver on the ring apron. Josh Mathews called Callihan “a contemptable son of a bitch”. Callihan hit a sitout powerbomb in the center of the ring for a nearfall. Callihan power whipped Edwards into the corner. Dutt and Mathews went into their PopTV plugs during a Callihan chinlock sequence.
Edwards escaped a sleeper with a jawbreaker. Callihan tried to go high risk but Edwards caught Callihan with a yakuza kick. Edwards hit Callihan with a superplex. Callihan used a pump kick but Edwards responded with a rope enziguri. Edwards hit a backpack stunner on Callihan for a good nearfall. Callihan managed to trip a running Edwards to set up a running knee. Callihan kept up the pace and hit an innovative suplex into a swinging neckbreaker. Callihan hit a forearm which Edwards responded with a forearm. Both men took each other with a plethora of kick variations. Edwards traded pump kicks. Callihan won the battle with a simple lariat. Edwards rolled up Callihan for the surprise win.
Eddie Edwards defeated Sami Callihan via pinfall in 10:34 of TV Time.
Sonjay Dutt was surprised by the quickness of the ending. Callihan blindsided Edwards post-match and grabbed the bat to beat up Edwards. Bobby Lashley tried to run out to save Edwards but was double teamed by Jake and Dave Crist in the interview area. Callihan hit Edwards with a Tiger shoulderbreaker. Callihan tried to use the bat and set up chair as a hammer and nail with Edwards safely holding it in place. In a scary and real botch, Callihan’s bat slipped off of the top of the chair and right into the face of Edwards. The camera cut away from Eddie and Sami’s face broke kayfabe for a moment, for good reason. The camera cut to OVE beating up Lashley as OVE’s theme played. Sami Callihan held up the bat. Josh Mathews said a scandal has just happened as Impact closed….
John’s Thoughts: Let me just get this out there first. I did hear about this in the news but I didn’t understand how serious it was before seeing it. I’m shocked they showed it on PopTV (this is supposedly the same channel that supposedly said OVE vs. LAX with barbed wire was “to hot for TV”). What hurt me is knowing not only possible brain damage issues but the even more fatal possibility of orbital bone damage. I’m happy Eddie Edwards is doing fine from what I’ve heard. Of course, I don’t blame Impact for making an angle out of it because it looks like they received Eddie’s blessing. That goes to show why Edwards has such a strong reputation of being one of the true nice guys in pro wrestling behind the scenes.
As for the stuff around the freak accident, I liked everything with the exception of the finish. Why not give Sami Callihan a clean win? Edwards can take the loss and can come out looking strong with sympathy. They could have done the post match stuff still and had even more effect. Aside from that, I had my reservations of putting this underdeveloped storyline in the main event. The storyline is still underdeveloped but Eddie and Sami killed it with a main event quality match. These are the type of matches I’ve gotten used to watching Sami have at those shows I watch in the Warehouse in Downtown L.A.
This show was hard to judge in a way, but it may have been the best episode in the Scott D’Amore and Don Callis era of Impact. It’s still nowhere near the quality of the stuff Matt Conway and Dave Lagana were putting out, but it was better by law of averages. There was a lot of “only in TNA” crap on this episode. “Only in TNA” crap is back. There was some good though, like the main event, like the LAX and OVE cinematics, like Taya and Rosemary, like small glimmers of light here and there. Maybe I’m just getting used to this crappy show. Let’s see how Crossroads ends up. I’m looking forward to it on one hand even though they’ve done a terrible job telling any stories. 2-0-F’n-5 Live was the worst wrestling show on television and it managed to get good so why not this show? Be sure to check out Jason Powell’s Impact Wrestling Hit List and members’ exclusive audio review.
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