By John Moore
Lucha Underground TV
Taped in Los Angeles, California
This week we got a quite different set of teasers in the “previously on…” clip. Dragon Slayer Jack Evans, AeroStar saving Drago with his glowing nunchaku, the LAPD thing, and Pentagon Jr in a strange rope machine was featured…
At Dario Cueto’s office, Black Lotus revealed to Dario Cueto that the new dragon knows where Matanza is being held and wants to kill him. Lotus said she stopped him and Dario told her “good girl!”. Lotus said she keeps asking herself, why did she stop him? She said that if Dario was lying about what happened to Lotus’s parents, Dario Cueto would have to answer from her and the entire Black Lotus Triad. Dario asked why would he lie since he’s the only one who has told her the truth. Dario said he just made it official and “Ultima Lucha Dos” was happening with Black Lotus as a big part of it. He said Lotus will take on Dragon Azteca Jr and when he beats him she can bring his mask to the Black Lotus triad so her parents can finally rest in peace. Black Lotus gave Dario a stare…
John’s Thoughts: There we go folks! Ultima Lucha is happening and the first match they announced was Black Lotus vs. The Watermelon. Well, that match isn’t that intriguing at the moment since they really cooled off on the Black Lotus storyline in favor of the LAPD one and I don’t have great memories of Angela Fong being a great wrestler. I hope that either they (or the power of editing) can surprise me. FYI, I was at Ultima Lucha Dos…. so… yeah… I’ll keep from spoilers of course.
Matt Striker checked in on commentary along with “the living lucha libre legend” Vampiro. Voodoo Glow Skulls were the house band again. Striker said we were four weeks away from Ultima Lucha Dos. Striker said that after beating Cage, Matanza is sitting and waiting for his next challenger at Ultima Lucha. Striker then said that there will be a six on six match where the six winners will face each other in an elimination match next week dubbed “six to survive”.
John’s Apathy: Ugh… “Six to survive” reminds me of some of the convoluted match concepts that TNA used to run.
Striker and Vampiro said that AeroStar and Drago will be facing Jack Evans and PJ Black in a nunchaku match. In the ring, Melissa Santos tried to do ring introductions, but Marty the Moth while invading her personal space, cut her off. Marty was wearing “Military” Killshot’s dog tags. Marty hung the dog tags in the corner and called out to Killshot in a cliché horror movie way. Just as Marty thought he punked out Killshot, Killshot was behind him and did the finger pistol point.
1. “Military” Killshot vs. Marty the Moth Martinez. This was an odd start, with no ring entrances. That random attack caused Vampiro to shout “oh shit!”. Marty and Killshot brawled on the outside. Killshot gained the advantage with a pump leg dropkick. Marty came back with aggression by slamming Killshot on the barricade. Marty dragged Killshot round by the jaw and waved at Matt Striker. Killshot whipped Marty and the match ended in double countout.
Killshot vs. Marty the Moth ended in a double countout.
The crowd didn’t like this ending. Killshot hit a rolling front kick from the apron. Killshot went to the corner to get his dog tags back. He got them back, that was easy. Marty the Moth came back in the ring and gave Killshot a German Suplex to cause Killshot to drop the tags. Killshot tried to drag Marty back in the ring by the hair but Marty escaped with the dog tags. Oh joy.
In what may be the worst looking bumper card. The “six to survive” thing was announced and the versus screen looked like a bingo card…
Johnny’s Apathy: I never thought I would bring back my moments of apathy for a non-TNA show, but it’s starting to get there with Lucha Underground. What the hell was that? I’m starting to sense that after Rey Mysterio debuted for Lucha Underground a whole lot of their storylines were rerouted. Marty the Moth was in a pretty solid storyline with Sexy Star. This thing with Killshot, it’s odd in a bad way and they are also trying to retcon Killshot at the same time. Killshot also gets knocked back down to loser-ville again by getting punked out by Marty.
At LAPD Headquarters, Mr. Cisco was in an interrogation room with Ricky Reyes, Joey Ryan, and Captain Vazquez. Cisco was in prison fatigues. Vazquez laid out a list of crimes that Mr. Cisco committed that could put him in jail for life. Cisco wondered why they were here. Reyes said because Dario Cueto trusts Cisco. Cisco said how could he trust a man who set him up with a rat cop who he thought was his friend. Vazquez wanted Cisco to wear a wire, which he protested…
Cisco ultimately gave in after threatened with jail time. Ciaco asked about what were the police looking to charge Dario on. Vazquez said things like drug trafficking, money laundering, and murder. She said it was bigger than that because Dario Cueto could be the lynch pin for the End of Days…
Johnny’s Apathy: Some things are so bad that they are good (i.e. Matt Hardy and Brother Nero). This is just plain cliché and boring. Yep, my apathy is real tonight.
Jack Evans cut off Melissa Santos in her ring introductions and called himself Jack “The Dragon Slayer” Evans. He and PJ Black had their Trios Titles. Drago came out next with AeroStar with the demon skull on his head and yes he still looks cooler than Dragon Azteca Jr… [C]
2. Jack Evans and PJ Black vs. Drago and AeroStar in a nunchaku match. Drago and AeroStar were in sync to start off. AeroStar took out PJ Black with a springboard crossbody. Drago and AeroStar did some fun double team moves on Jack Evans. PJ Black broke up the pin attempt. PJ Black escaped out of a guillotine choke into a suplex. Black held up AeroStar for a double footstomp by Evans.
Jack and PJ did air guitars complete with cheesy sound effects. Evans tried to piggy back off of Black to get the nunchaku until AeroStar toppled them. They fought a bit on the apron until Evans hit a kick to send the technicos to the outside. PJ Black did a tope through Jack Evans’s legs. Evans followed up on everyone with an Asai Moonsault. Both teams struggled to get up the steps to reach nunchaku that were really high up. Jack Evans got the first pair of nunchaku.
Black and Evans toyed with the technicos with nunchaku shots. Drago escaped being choked by the sticks. Drago hit Black with a hard roundhouse kick. Drago was in position to grab his own pair of nunchaku and did some of his cool looking katas to please the crowd. Evans took a nunchuck to the face and so did PJ. Drago took out both with a running senton. AeroStar walked off to get his own nunchaku. Evans intercepted him and stole the nunchaku. AeroStar tripped Evans onto Dario Cueto’s office and he lost the nunchaku.
AeroStar got the nunchaku back with the help of the crowd. Evans held on to the top of the roof to keep from falling and AeroStar tried to hit his hands with the sticks. Evans let go when he knew PJ Black was behind to save him. AeroStar followed up by doing a crossbody from the top of Dario Cueto’s office. Drago was the only luchador fresh after this. Drago beat on Jack Evans with the nunchaku and Evans sold it like only he could. Drago spit green mist in his eyes and the camera. Drago won with his dragon’s lair pin.
Drago and AeroStar defeated Jack Evans and PJ Black via pinfall in 7:54.
Drago and Aerostar celebrated their win. That lame transition card that looks like a bingo card popped up again to talk about the six…. whatever match… [C]
John’s Thoughts: The match started off with a bit too much comedy but luckily it got better by the end. I’m also not sure why they put the nunchaku so high but at least Striker made a decent cover for it. Of course, the highlights of the match were the Drago katas and AeroStar jumping off the roof a la Angelico. All that said, the placement of this match is odd all of a sudden and I’m wondering why are we going back to the Dragon Slayer program after they started to feud with Rey’s team?
Rey Mysterio’s six person team came out first and he was joined by Prince Puma, Willie Mack, Texano, Sexy Star, and Son of Havoc. Vampiro called this a buffet of superstars. The other team consisted of Fenix, Ivelisse, King Cuerno, Taya, Johnny Mundo, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. They came out to Fenix’s theme and the crowd booed them because of Chavo. Poor Fenix. Chavo came out last followed by Pentagon Jr on his funny electronic wheelchair. Pentagon told Chavo that Chavo was the only person who supported and helped Pentagon. He told Chavo, Gracias, pero now he will destroy Chavo, Cabron! Striker said the Ninja Skeleton was healed. Pentagon beat up Chavo and broke Chavo’s arm… [C]
John’s Thoughts: That was odd. Not Pentagon beating up Chavo, but that statement of Pentagon saying Chavo supported him. Was it sarcasm? Was there a writing disconnect? It was just odd.
Dario Cueto walked out of his office with Black Lotus. Dario said that it was great to see Pentagon back in his temple and that him walking was a miracle after what Matanza did to him. He said since Chavo caught a “bad break” Pentagon might have an opportunity to replace him. He asked the believers if they wanted Pentagon to replace Chavo. They did the “si” chants. Dario granted their wishes and asked Pentagon if that was really what he wanted in his condition. Pentagon said he only had one thing to tell Dario, “Yo soy Pentagon Jr, es Cero Miedo!”.
3. Rey Mysterio, Prince Puma, The Mack, Texano, Sexy Star, and Son of Havoc vs. Fenix, Ivelisse, King Cuerno, Taya, Johnny Mundo, and Pentagon Jr. Fenix’s team argued with each other because they were the face/heel mix. Sexy Star started the match by trying to rollup Taya. Sexy Star dominated early on with a slam and a kick. Taya came back with a kick of her own. Taya and Sexy Star countered each other with Sexy Star getting an armdrag.
Son of Havoc tagged in and Taya gave Ivelisse a rough tag on the head. Ivelisse and Son of Havoc shook each other’s hands out of respect. Havoc and Ivelisse did a few counters of their own until Ivelisse landed a clean roundhouse. After trading a few pin attempts, Pentagon Jr tagged in and so did Willie Mack. Mack beat out Pentagon with a lucha arm drag. Pentagon dodged a corner splash and ate a front kick. Pentagon did a low kick to the shin of Mack.
Pentagon Jr hit Mack with a backstabber. Pentagon then hit his signature loud slap to the chest of Mack. Mack dodged a few of pentagon’s strikes and hit a flying knee. Fenix tagged in and hit Mack with a superkick. He followed up with a springboard dropkick on Mack. Mack turned the tide with “the pounce” (that reminded me of Monty Brown, Striker’s old tag partner in WWE-ECW). Rey Mysterio and King Cuerno tagged in with Cuerno gaining the upper hand with a boot and pin attempt. Rey escaped and did a short arm huracanrana on Cuerno.
Rey hit a kick and seated senton on Cuerno. Johnny Mundo broke up the pin attempt after the bull dog. Texano tagged in to assist Rey in a huracanrana. Cuerno did a flip and Texano hit him with a leg drop from the top rope. Cuerno turned the tide with an arm drag. Mundo tagged in and hit Texano with a running knee for the two count. Mundo worked the ground and pound on Texano. Just as Texano tried to regain momentum, Taya ran in to annoy him. Texano threw Taya into Johnny’s pelvis.
Prince Puma tagged in, but Mundo stayed aggressive to keep momentum in his end. Cuerno hit Texano with his awesome Tope, the Arrow from the depths of Hell. Sexy Star dodged Taya to send her outside. Sexy Star hit everyone outside with a unique senton tope. Ivelisse hit all of them with a crossbody. Pentagon and Mack had a chop battle inside of the ring. Pentagon ended it with a low kick. Mack sent Pentagon outside with an exploder. Mack did a tope con hilo on the outside. Puma followed up with a corkscrew front flip.
Fenix did Puma one better with a corkscrew springboard moonsault. Son of Havoc topped that with a springboard Asai Moonsault. Rey teased joining the party, but Johnny Mundo tripped him to the outside. Mundo struck his Mundo pose. Prince Puma kicked mundo to keep him inside of the ring and in 619 position. Rey hit the 619. Mundo pushed Rey into Puma to stop him from the 630. Mundo gained the clean win after the Spanish Fly.
Johnny Mundo, Fenix, Ivelisse, King Cuerno, Taya, and Pentagon Jr. defeated Rey Mysterio, Prince Puma, The Mack, Texano, Sexy Star, and Son of Havoc via pinfall in 12:47.
Mundo held up Taya and celebrated his win. Striker said Mundo’s team advances to Dario’s “sick concept” match where they will face each other for a shot at Matanza. The credits rolled and the show ended…
But Wait! There’s More! Catrina was in King Cuerno’s trophy room and said death waits for no one. She told Mil to rise again as she powered him up with the glow from her magic rock. Mil Muertes powered up and gave a headbutt to the glass casing. He roared and his mask was patched up due to Matanza breaking it. The show ended…
John’s Thoughts: Before I get into the negatives, I’ll start off by saying that it was cool to see Johnny Mundo beat Prince Puma clean. That’s where that positive ends though as it didn’t come off as a big deal when it should have. The match was fun, and there was a lot of athleticism, but the match just seemed thrown together.
This was an odd episode of Lucha Underground that seemed disconnected and random. Maybe taping so much out of order is starting to bite them and this was not one of their best shows. Random can be the best word to summarize this show. There was a random match between Killshot and Marty that had a random finish. Jack Evans randomly went back to being a Dragon Slayer for the night. Pentagon has some random interaction with Chavo. And we had a random twelve man match. At least we have Ultima Lucha to look forward to and the resurrection of Mil Muertes. Check back later on for Will Pruett’s member exclusive audio review as well as my LU Hit List.