By John Moore
Lucha Underground TV
Taped in Los Angeles, California
This week’s intro video started off in a similar fashion as we saw before as it focused on the distribution of the Gift of the Gods medallions. Pentagon Jr. trying to get out of an electronic wheel chair was what ended the video. This week’s episode was titled “Crime and Punishment”…
Dario Cueto was in his office counting bricks of cash as Cage barged into his office angry. He yelled at Dario because Chavo stole and hid his medallion from him. Dario said that was Cage’s problem not his. Dario said the show is going to start off with the medallion ceremony and if Chavo inserts his medallion in the belt, he will be in the match. Cage said to get to the match, he will have to get through him. Dario Cueto told Cage to join him in the ring…
The scene seamlessly transitioned to the live crowd portion with Cage joining Dario Cueto in the ring. Dario reiterated to the crowd what this ceremony meant and said the match for the Gift of the Gods title was happening tonight once everyone put their medallions in. “The blue collared pride of Mexico” El Texano Jr, put his medallion in the belt first. Joey Ryan put his in next. Dario Cueto joked about the Disciples being interchangeable as Sinestro De La Muerte put his medallion in. Striker mentioned how Catrina wasn’t here due to Graver Consequences.
Aero Star put his medallion in next. Dario Cueto quoted Will Smith as he told Aero Star “Welcome to Earth!”. Dario Cueto kept calling Willie Mack, Mack Baby. Cueto couldn’t stop saying “Sexy” as he introduced Sexy Star. He called her a Sexy and Strong Star Woman. Cueto said that he was confused and Cage should have a medallion. Chavo walked out with a chair and Cage’s medallion. Cueto was excited and said they should fight it out. Cage ducked the chair and put the boots to Chavo in the corner.
Cage got his medallion bag and found a pipe washer inside of it. Chavo hit Cage with the chair revealing that the medallion was hidden in the chair. Chavo managed to put the medallion in the belt to ensure his spot in the match. Dario Cueto told Chavo “Sorry Man!”. Cage said he’s not a man he’s a machine. He gave Chavo Weapon X. Cage celebrated in the ring for beating up Chavo…
John’s Thoughts: That was a somewhat creative way to have a different type of match where you try to put a coin in a belt, and it totally fits too because it lasted about a minute like the rest of the medallion matches. Sarcasm aside, that was a fine segment and Chavo played his character well. Cage still comes off as a meathead dope, but I guess that’s his character.
Daga, Argenis, Mascarita Sagrada, and Kobra Moon were already in the ring. Famous B interrupted Mellisa’s introduction to introduce his client, Mascarita Sagrada. He told everyone to call 423-GET-FAME so you can become famous, just like Famous B…
1. Daga vs. Argenis vs. Kobra Moon vs. Mascarita Sagrada (w/Brenda and Famous B). Mascarita gave Kobra Moon a dropkick to send her outside. He then managed to use moves to get everyone else out of the ring. Kobra Moon shoulder blocked her way back in the ring. Vampiro said that his favorite was Daga who came from the new generation. Kobra hit Sagrada with some shortarm shoulder blocks to earn a nearfall. Daga broke up an attempt after a body slam. Daga was creeped out by Kobra’s tongue.
Argenis grounded Daga with a superkick. Daga staggered Argenis on the apron with an enziguri. Daga fell outside and Argenis hit him with an Asai Moonsault. Mascarita worked on Argenis in the ring and locked in a cross armbreaker. Argenis powered through and hit him with a Michinoku Driver, a sequence that reminded Striker of a match between Antonio Inoki and Bob Backlund. Daga broke up the pin attempt. Argenis broke out of a bridged pin. Daga locked Kobra Moon in a Gory Special with Argenis locked in a Boston Crab. Sagrada broke up the unique submission.
Daga dominated the next sequence with a single leg dropkick and took out Argenis with a corkscrew move to the outside. Kobra Moon lifted Sagrada into a pile driver and didn’t go for the pin. Instead she backed off and gave the victory to Daga who took advantage of the move. Daga looked confused as to why Kobra Moon would do that?
Daga defeated Mascarita Sagrada, Kobra Moon, and Argenis via pinfall in 4:52.
Daga continued to look confused as Kobra Moon continued to act like a snake. Vampiro compared the situation to Adam and Eve and said that Daga shouldn’t go down the bad path…
John’s Thoughts: The match was okay. The Sagrada parts were the most fun. I’m wondering how awesome it would be if they got the more athletic Sagrada, El Torrito, in the mask (which wouldn’t be until at least two years from now since he could only be in Season 4). Otherwise this was just the Lucha Underground undercard wrestlers fighting each other and starting a program.
“Military” Killshot was getting dressed as Marty the Moth appeared behind him and told Killshot that he was reporting for duty, sir. Marty said he heard that they were having a match tonight. He said he hoped that Killshot was ready for battle. He cocked his arm like a gun and pointed at Killshot’s bull’s eye. Killshot kept slapping Marty’s hands away and we got our latest Lucha Underground Wing Chun sequence. Killshot won the battle and pointed at Marty with a gun hand motion. He said “Bang!” just like Spike Spiegel would. Marty laughed maniacally on the ground. The scene ended with film distortion…
We go right to the action with Marty the Moth heading to the ring for his match. He continued to invade Melissa Santos’s personal space. Killshot was his opponent of course. Striker said he thinks that Killshot will leave this season as the MVP of Lucha Underground, which baffles me because he loses more often than he wins… [C]
2. Marty The Moth Martinez vs. Killshot. Killshot did his military ritual and Striker talked about what it meant. Striker then said that Killshot was like a cross between Angelico and Prince Puma. Huh? Marty threw his shirt at Melissa. Marty dominated early on in the corner with punches. Marty tossed Killshot outside and Killshot landed on his feet. Killshot tried to springboard in the ring and tripped.
Marty teased a tope, but instead flipped the bird to the crowd. Killshot kicked Marty down with a feint kick. Killshot attempted a moonsault to the outside but Marty caught Killshot mid moonsault and power slammed him. Marty licked his fingers and put it in Killshot’s mouth, mandible claw style. Marty followed up with a German Suplex. Marty followed up with an exploder suplex. Marty earned a nearfall.
Marty did the gun hand again. Killshot caught Marty with a superkick. Killshot followed up with his jumping thrust kick. Killshot earned a nearfall after a rolling cutter. Killshot hit Marty with a running thrust kick in the corner. Marty slowed down the action and worked on Killshot on the apron. Marty went for a German Suplex on the apron, but Killshot blocked it. Killshot escaped the grasp of the moth and hit Marty with a Death Valley Driver on the apron.
Both wrestlers beat the ten count of the referee. Marty was bleeding from the nose. Killshot and The Moth traded blows. Marty the Moth hit Killshot with the Curb Stomp for a nearfall. Killshot caught Marty and converted his grasp to hit the Michinoku Driver to earn the victory.
Killshot defeated Marty the Moth via pinfall in 8:07.
Killshot went to his dog tags after the match. Marty the Moth got mad and beat down Killshot. He slammed Killshot against the outside of the ring and the railing. Marty took the dog tags and dangled them to tease Killshot. Marty hit Killshot with a top rope curb stomp. He mocked Killshot with more gun fingers…
John’s Thoughts: This was strange booking again and another detriment to Lucha Underground’s refusal to utilize the benefits of squash matches. These are two examples of wrestlers who are damaged by it. Killshot took a lot of loses early on in the season and retconning his characterization does not erase the fact that he’s a loser in people who watch the show often. Striker being so heavy handed in trying to put over Killshot doesn’t help. Marty was being built as a strong in ring threat early on in the season, but he was squashed by Mack in his last match and he has to take a loss here so Killshot can get a ring. You could have had these guys beat up Argenis, Mascarita Sagrada, Daga, or Kobra Moon all season in squashes so they wouldn’t have to take loses.
Melissa Santos introduced the seven way Gift of the Gods match…
3. El Texano Jr vs. Joey Ryan vs. The Mack vs. Sinestro de la Muerte vs. AeroStar vs. Sexy Star vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. in a seven way match for the Gift of the Gods Championship. A lot of people did dropkicks to start the match. Sexy Star kicked Joey Ryan with a boot and an armdrag. Chavo stopped Joey Ryan from doing stuff and they kept arguing over who will fight Sexy Star. Sexy Star grounded both of them with head scissors. Mack and Sexy Star took out Chavo and Joey Ryan with huracanranas.
Mack and Sexy Star dodged each other’s moves. Texano took Sexy Star outside to replace her in the sequence with Mack. Aerostar broke up the nearfall that Texano tried. Texano ripped open Aerostar’s costume to get some chops. Aerostar zipped back up and hit Texano with a tornado DDT. Texano came back with a jawbreaker, but missed the following move and flew outside. Sinestro went for a brainbuster but Aerostar escaped it. Aerostar dodged Sinestro and took out Texano and Chavo with a moonsault.
Joey Ryan was alone in the ring. Sexy Star dragged him off the top rope and took out everyone but Ryan with a crossbody. Mack met Ryan in the ring with some right hands. Joey Ryan got a two count after a pump handle suplex. Sinestro earned a nearfall after a backstabber. Texano said “Viva Mexico” and earned a nearfall after a Ruff Ryder. Aerostar earned a nearfall after a victory roll.
Joey Ryan met chops from both Mack and Sexy Star. Mack lifted Sexy Star to do a double leg drop on Ryan. Chavo tossed out Sexy Star and Mack to prompt a “chickenshit!” chant from the crowd. Chavo hit Joey Ryan with a Frog Splash for the nearfall. All of the wrestlers surrounded Chavo in the ring. Mack gave Chavo a Stone Cold Stunner. Sexy Star hit him with a codebreaker. Texano hit him with a sitout powerbomb. Sinestro hit his leg drop. Aerostar hit his finishing dive. Then Brian Cage walked out to the ring.
Cage stood on top of Chavo and instead beat up everyone else in his street clothes. He hit Mack with a Uranage and tossed Sexy Star outside. Joey Ryan tried to steal the pin on Chavo but Cage gave Ryan a sitout pile driver. Cage put Chavo on Joey Ryan to give him the victory and the Gift of the Gods title.
Chavo Guerrero Jr defeated Joey Ryan, Sexy Star, The Mack, El Texano Jr, Aerostar, and Sinestro de la Muerte via pinfall in 8:31 to become the new Gift of the Gods Champion.
Cage handed Chavo his title belt. Chavo looked afraid and confused as he retreated to the temple steps. Cage told Chavo congratulations which the crowd booed. Cage told everyone to wait because Chavo already agreed (via Dario Cueto) to defend the title next week against Cage. Chavo scurried in fear up the steps. The show ended with Cage posing…
But wait? There’s more! Back at Pentagon Jr’s dojo, Vampiro told Pentagon that the monster broke Pentagon in two. Pentagon was tied together in some strange hanging rope contraption that looked like it was either a torture device or something meant to fix his broken back. Vamp said he must break Pentagon again to make him stronger. Vampiro hit Pentagon with a kendo stick and told him silencio. Vamp said only the weak cry in pain. Only the weak show their suffering. Only the weak are afraid. He said the voices in his head, he must overcome them. Vamp said Ian tried to control him with those pills. Vamp then hit his head with the stick. He said Ian was wrong. Vampiro said all the fear, pain, injuries, and things that pentagon thinks control him, really don’t. Because this is nothing compared to what he, Matanza, did to Pentagon. Vampiro said or what “I’m about to do”. The camera cut out as Vampiro was about to hit Pentagon Jr with a barbed wire baseball bat…
John’s Thoughts: A crowd pleasing ending, somewhat, to a strange show. The Gift of the Gods storyline has been a bit disappointing this year with it being rushed and really downplayed. No one per se is playing their part terribly, even Chavo is doing what he should be doing, but this was just not that compelling. At least we have Pentagon Jr to look forward to with us getting updates as to his “recovery”.
This was a below average show that would have been better if this were a two hour show. Maybe they should stop building episodes around Chavo. It seemed like we entered a new season where we start new storylines and feuds. I usually don’t say this, but this is a missable episode. I can summarize the episode in a few sentences. Chavo won the Gift of the Gods and is facing Cage next week. Also, Marty is feuding with Killshot now. That was the episode. Make sure to check out Will Pruett’s member exclusive audio review as well as my LU Hit List coming soon.