By Will Pruett
Well folks, it’s a very special time of year. We are less than two weeks out from the biggest show of the year and (most likely) the biggest version of this biggest show we’ve ever seen (at least as far as attendance goes). It’s WrestleMania 32 time and, like WrestleMania 31 before it, WWE has a major issue. They have an assumed protagonist no one likes and they are desperately trying everything to make him likable.
Much like last year, it’s almost time for WWE to hit the button behind a thin layer of glass marked “In case of unsatisfying WrestleMania plans, break glass.” Here’s the problem this year: the button’s actions aren’t a set path. Last year, WWE had wisely saved the Money in the Bank briefcase and they had wisely put the briefcase on up-and-coming star Seth Rollins. Rollins didn’t seem out of place in a WrestleMania main event. Sheamus would be completely out of place.
So, what can WWE do this year? I decided to help them out with some completely possible and delightful scenarios to close out Triple H vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE Championship.
Scenario One: Conquering hero Triple H defeats the villainous Roman Reigns to retain the WWE Championship. Look, it’s the story WWE is telling physically at this moment. Why not make the actual narrative fit the narrative beneath the surface? Triple H already seems like a hero to most fans. Roman already seems like an epic jerk face (see his recent Tweet insulting someone’s sex life). It’s perfectly fine to pivot into telling the more logical story at this point.
Scenario Two: Triple H and Roman Reigns switch costumes mid-match, confusing the fans, who then cheer Roman’s victory. There’s nothing like a little slight of hand to make everything WWE does a little easier. Imagine if Trips and Roman disappeared under the ring for about a minute, then emerged with their costumes changed? People would be so confused, they’d have no option but to cheer the newly trunk-wearing Roman! Think of all the new action figures WWE could sell.
Scenario Three: DANCE OFF!! If you think Roman going over is absurd, imagine if Trips and Roman suddenly busted out all of their club moves. Last year, Roman was too sad to dance after WrestleMania. This year, I believe Roman could not only dance happily, but dance his way to the WWE Championship and all the way to the afterparty.
Scenario Four: Shane McMahon wins the WWE Championship. You may not have Seth Rollins around to surprise and delight fans, but you have the next best thing: Shane O’Mac. Why not have Shane, fresh off a victory over Undertaker in Hell in a Cell, stumble down the absurdly long entrance ramp and claim what is rightfully his? It gets WWE out of delivering a disappointing ending and it gets the title onto a legit fan-favorite for the first time since WrestleMania XXX.
Scenario Five: Pipe in those Smackdown cheers! Let’s call this the most likely scenario. WWE can easily change the reaction to Roman Reigns by piping in cheers for him over the speaker system. The 100,000 (kayfabe) there live will know it’s false, but the fans at home can surely be fooled. All hail conquering hero Roman Reigns as his empire begins at WrestleMania 32!!!!
Got thoughts on this show or my review of it? If they aren’t super annoying thoughts (and please don’t ignore this and post super annoying thoughts), hit me up with them! Check the Twitter @itswilltime, leave a comment, or email me at email@example.com.
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