By Jason Powell, ProWrestling.net Editor (@prowrestlingnet)
Impact Wrestling “United We Stand”
Aired live on FITE TV
Rahway, New Jersey at the Rahway Recreation Center
Josh Mathews and Don Callis were on commentary…
1. Johnny Impact vs. Jake Crist vs. Dante Fox vs. Pat Buck vs. Ace Austin in an Ultimate X match for a future X Division Title shot. Mathews noted that Kotto Brazil was unable to appear as advertised because he was working for another company (MLW) on this busy weekend. Mathews also noted that Austin is replacing Jack Evans, who was a late scratch. An X symbol was hanging above the ring for the winner to pull down. Mathews said Buck was the hometown favorite.
Austin caught Impact climbing the cables and powerbombed him. Impact landed hard and came up holding his head, so hopefully he was just selling. There were some brief audio issues. Austin also took a tough bump from the cables a short time later. Impact returned and seemed fine. The audio issues resurfaced and cleared up again. Fox performed a springboard inverted dive onto several wrestlers at ringside. Austin climbed to the very top of the pillar above the cables and performed an insane flip dive onto a group of wrestlers below. Damn.
Austin climbed the cables and held his feet above the cables, which led to him taking a wild cutter from Crist. Impact quickly climbed the cable and pulled down the X to win the match. The broadcast team noted that the Impact World Champion can now challenge for the X Division Championship whenever he wants…
Powell’s POV: Everyone involved worked really hard and this match had all the craziness that one expects from an Ultimate X match. The finish was a bit anticlimactic in that there wasn’t a big spot involving Impact that led to it, but rather him just racing up the cables and pulling down the X. Still, the live crowd enjoyed it and that Austin dive from the top of the pillar was the craziest thing I’ve seen today (which is really something). As I mentioned in my WrestleCon review, I’m covering three shows today, so I’ll be selective in terms of the match descriptions as I attempt to pace myself on this busy weekend.
The broadcast team spoke at ringside. Mathews was already losing his voice. They noted that Team Impact is entering their match with Team Lucha Underground a man down due to Johnny Impact dropping out…
Backstage, Team Impact teammates Eddie Edwards and Moose jawed at one another until Brian Cage arrived and calmed them down. Edwards said “we’ve got this.” Moose said he better not be talking about Kenny (his kendo stick)… A video recapped last year’s Impact vs. LU match…
2. “Team Impact” Brian Cage, Moose, Tommy Dreamer, and Eddie Edwards vs. “Team Lucha Underground” Drago, Aerostar, Daga, and Marty the Moth. Mathews congratulated AAA on the news that they will be running Madison Square Garden in September. Before the match, Dreamer made his entrance and joined the Impact team while Edwards celebrated.
Moose tagged himself in while Cage was dominating, which led to Cage shoving Moose. A short time later, Dreamer took a swig of water, spit it into the mouth of Edwards, who then spat it in the face of one of their opponents. Nasty. Later, Moose speared Cage while was on another flurry of offense. Moose mugged for the crowd and then Dreamer hit him with a kendo stick. Edwards performed a suicide dive onto Moose. Marty the Moth ended up pinning Dreamer…
“Team Lucha Underground” Drago, Aerostar, Daga, and Marty the Moth defeated “Team Impact” Brian Cage, Moose, Tommy Dreamer, and Eddie Edwards.
Powell’s POV: The live crowd loved the addition of Dreamer to the match. Unfortunately, the crowd isn’t mic’d as well as the other two shows I watched today. You can hear when the crowd is fired up, but the mix isn’t very good. The match itself was fine. I like that Moose stayed true to his heel persona, but the idea of LU going over felt strange given that this is an Impact show and LU is out of season, maybe even permanently.
Taya Valkyrie delivered a backstage promo and said she would take her three opponents to Slamtown and walk out the Knockouts Champion…
3. Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Katie Forbes for the Knockouts Championship. Mathews noted that Forbes had a chance to become the Knockouts Champion in her Impact debut. Valkyrie and Grace debuted what appeared to be new gear (a nice upgrade for both if that’s the case). Late in the match, Su Yung came out. Rosemary ran to the entrance and fought with her. Inside the ring, Grace performed her finisher on Forbes and had her pinned, but Valkyrie kicked Grace in the head and stole the pin…
Taya Valkyrie defeated Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, and Katie Forbes in a four-way to retain the Knockouts Championship.
Tessa Blanchard delivered a backstage promo and said she’s not afraid to knockout any man. She said Ryan became famous for what’s between his legs, but tonight he’ll be famous for becoming her bitch…
Powell’s POV: Forbes works as Khloe Hurtz in WOW. I don’t believe the broadcast team mentioned that, but it’s possible I missed it. Everyone worked hard, but it was a bit clunky at times with all four women in at once. Rosemary seemed to be coping with the grief of Allie’s death pretty well until Yung showed up. RIP. Anyway, the Blanchard promo was brief, yet effective.
A video package aired on the LAX vs. Low Ki and Ricky Martinez match…
4. “LAX” Santana and Ortiz (w/Konnan) vs. Low Ki and Ricky Martinez. Low Ki and Martinez entered to their MLW music and were billed as Promociones Dorado, which is Salina de la Renta’s faction. Unfortunately, Salina did not accompany them to ringside. There was a loud Low Ki chant to start the match. Low Ki worked the match in his Hitman gear, which he wore during his last Impact run but does not wear in MLW. Mathews said Thursday had turned into Friday in New Jersey. “Does that mean I get paid twice,” Callis asked. Funny.
Late in the match, Low Ki went up top for his double stomp finisher, but Ortiz pushed him down. LAX performed a double team move on Martinez and had him beat, but Low Ki recovered and performed the top rope double stomp to break it up. Martinez put Ortiz on his shoulders, then Low Ki performed a springboard enzuigiri, which led to a two count. Nice spot. Santana pulled Low Ki to ringside and ran him into the post. In the ring, Ortiz performed a Death Valley Driver on Martinez and pinned him clean…
LAX defeated Low Ki and Ricky Martinez.
Powell’s POV: A decent match. The finish left a little something to be desired in that we got a DVD rather than a hot LAX tag team move. Low Ki and Martinez were in a tough spot. I’m so used to seeing LAX work kick ass matches with the Lucha Brothers and they just couldn’t measure up to that even though I enjoy watching both MLW regulars. I’m happy the absence of Kotto Brazil from the opening match wasn’t a sign of bigger issues with MLW talent getting to the show. MLW taped television earlier tonight in New York. Brazil worked the second match of the night, so I’m surprised that he wasn’t able to get to this event in time.
A pre-taped Sami Callihan promo aired…
5. Tessa Blanchard vs. Joey Ryan. Both wrestlers seemed to be over big, though it’s especially hard to hear the crowd when they blast the entrance music. Ryan did his blow pop bit before the match. Blanchard squared up to fight, but Ryan pointed at his junk. A “touch his dick” chant broke out. Blanchard smirked and then stuck her middle finger in Ryan’s face. The broadcast team sided with Blanchard. Callis questioned why Ryan was trying to get Blanchard to touch it. Mathews said it apparently has powers. Callis compared it to Houdini in that it seemed to disappear. Funny.
Blanchard caught Ryan in the ropes and teased a Shattered Dreams kick, but she performed a Codebreaker instead for a two count. Ryan went on the offensive and worked over Blanchard’s left arm. Tessa came back and performed a suicide dive. She rolled Ryan back inside the ring and then performed a top rope cannonball for a two count. Blanchard continued to sell a left shoulder injury. Ryan bounced back with a spinebuster for a two count, then went back to work on the left arm. Blanchard rebounded with a pair of tornado DDTs and got a two count.
Ryan grabbed Blanchard by the breasts and performed a German suplex. Ryan put Blanchard’s hand on his junk and then did the usual bit where he used it as a weapon and flipped her over with it. Ryan covered her for two. Ryan pulled a blow pop out of his pants and stuck it in Blanchard’s mouth, then superkicked her for a near fall. Ryan set up for a superplex, but Blanchard fought him off and performed Magnum (leaping off the second rope into a Codebreaker) and scored the clean pin…
Tessa Blanchard defeated Joey Ryan.
Powell’s POV: I enjoyed this and I’m not a big fan of intergender wrestling. Ryan has the act and his basic intergender match down, as I just watched him work a similar match on the F1rst Wrestling show with Penelope Ford. Blanchard is a tremendous talent and she never disappoints. It was strange to hear the broadcast team siding with Blanchard if only because she’s been such a heel in Impact, but it surely would have been stranger if they had openly rooted for the man to beat up the woman.
An ad aired for the Impact Wrestling Rebellion pay-per-view…
6. Rich Swann vs. Flamita for the X Division Championship. The wrestlers shook hands prior to the match. Flamita had a great sequence that concluded with a 450 splash for a near fall. Swann came back with a Lethal Injection for a two count. Swann followed up with a Phoenix Splash and scored the clean pin…
Rich Swann defeated Flamita to retain the X Division Championship.
Powell’s POV: Very good while it lasted. It’s a shame these two didn’t get more time. I’m not timing the matches, but this felt like it was the briefest match of the night.
A Rob Van Dam and Sabu promo aired from the backstage area…
7. Sami Callihan vs. Jimmy Havoc in a Monster’s Ball. Havoc came out carrying a staple gun and a chain. Callihan walked through the entrance with a trashcan, then went back and returned with a baseball bat. Callihan was on the offensive early and Havoc bled from the forehead. Havoc came back and did a comedic eye poke. Callihan responded by throwing a chair at his face. Callihan gouged the eyes of Havoc, then gave him a piledriver on the ring apron.
Callihan picked up threw the bat into the ring where a chair and a couple of trashcans were already placed. Callihan pulled out a stapler out of another trashcan that was set up outside the ropes and ended up using it on Havoc’s forehead. Callihan pulled out a newspaper and stapled pieces of it to Havoc. Callihan pulled out a frying pan and used it as a weapon, then took several bows. Callihan pulled out a lemon and squeezed the juice onto Havoc’s head. “Who thinks of these things?” Mathews asked. The crowd responded with a “you sick f—” chant. Callihan placed a trashcan over Havoc and hit him with a chair.
Havoc stood up and headbutted Callihan while still wearing the trashcan. Havoc used a piece of cardboard to give Callihan paper cuts in the corners of his mouth, then removed his boot and did the same thing between Callihan’s toes. Havoc poured salt onto Callihan’s wounds. In perhaps the sickest move of the night, Havoc bit the foot of Callihan. Havoc slammed Callihan onto a trashcan and got a two count. Havoc pulled out a legos and poured them into the ring. Callihan ended up piledriving Havoc onto the legos and covering him, but Havoc kicked out at one. Callihan set up two chairs, then performed a piledriver and scored the pin. After the match, Havoc got up quickly and stuck his fist up, then Callihan gave him a fist bump…
Sami Callihan defeated Jimmy Havoc in a Monster’s Ball.
Powell’s POV: You had to know what this match was going to be when it was first announced. They pulled out all the garbage match spots. I can’t say they did anything that I haven’t seen before, but they are both good hardcore style wrestlers and did a good job.
The broadcast team spoke at ringside and then a Rebellion pay-per-view video aired while the crew cleaned up the ring…
8. Impact Wrestling Tag Champions Pentagon Jr. and Fenix vs. Rob Van Dam and Sabu in a non-title match. The Lucha Brothers shook hands with fans at ringside before the match. Sabu and RVD made separate entrances and a woman dressed in an “I Dream of Jeanie” style outfit accompanied Sabu to the ring. A “this is awesome” chant broke out while the wrestlers were jawing at one another before the match. RVD did his pose. Pentagon tried to do his in response, but Sabu stopped him. Pentagon superkicked him to start the match. RVD and Sabu performed rolling thunder early on.
RVD and Sabu put the Lucha Brothers on a table in the middle of the ring and then performed legdrops from the ropes. RVD went up top for a move when Pentagon hit him with a chair to the head (why?). Pentagon and Fenix performed a double team move that resulted in Sabu taking a piledriver and then being pinned. The teams shook hands and hugged afterward…
Pentagon Jr. and Fenix defeated Rob Van Dam and Sabu in a non-title match.
Powell’s POV: RVD and Sabu performed enough of their greatest hits to make the crowd happy and they still kept the match fairly short. There was no reason this match needed to go long, as I’m not sure how much wrestling RVD and Sabu have been doing lately. The live crowd seemed to enjoy it. Overall, a decent show that was a notch below how promising it looked on paper. Admittedly, there could be some wrestling fatigue on my end, as this was the third consecutive show I reviewed. It wasn’t a bad show by any means, but I have little doubt that Impact’s Rebellion show in a few weeks is going to top it.
Check below for the new Pro Wrestling Boom Podcast with Jason Powell and guest John Thorne, who discusses promoting the AIW Slumber Party Massacre from the Thursday of WrestleMania weekend (available via VOD on FITE TV), being a small fish in the big WrestleMania weekend pond, his long history with Johnny Gargano, and much more.
I had a lot of trouble with the Fite App last night. I hope it is ok tomorrow night.
It’s worth considering that the issue is on your end with wifi. I watched three shows on FITE yesterday. There was definitely an issue during the WrestleCon show where the feed was lost. Others were complaining about it in their chatroom so I knew I wasn’t alone. Otherwise, it was very smooth on my end. Good luck today!