By Jason Powell
TNA Impact Wrestling Hits
Drew Galloway vs. Moose for the TNA Grand Championship: The rounds format is still not clicking, and Galloway continues to feel miscast as a heel. At the very least, Galloway turning heel should have packed much more of a punch considering that he was the TNA equivalent of John Cena before he turned. The Hit goes to the hard work of the wrestlers. Furthermore, I believe that if anyone can make the clunky round system work, it’s Galloway.
Eddie Edwards and Lashley agree to a 30-minute Iron Man match: The verbal segment between the two was a little flat because we’ve seen them spar so many times before, but it set up what could be a really good match for the TNA Championship.
Maria, Allie, Braxton Sutter, and Laurel Van Ness: Maria continues to be the most delightfully devious character in TNA. I still don’t understand why Allie can’t just quit her job as Maria’s apprentice, but we did find out that Maria has something on Allie that was big enough to make Saxton stop training her. Whatever it is, the idea is that Saxton is protecting Allie by complying with Maria’s demands, which apparently include
TNA Impact Wrestling Misses
Race For the Case: So if a wrestler grabs the green case then he can challenge for the TNA Grand Championship unless said wrestler blue eyes and then he can only challenge a champion who has red hair unless that red haired champion has green eyes and then it’s a non-title match. Okay, so those weren’t really the rules, but the explanation was ridiculous enough that they might as well have been. I didn’t know whether to blame Josh Mathews or to pity him when he explained this madness. Race For the Case is Feast or Fired minus the pink slip, and it’s all leading to Open Fight Night. TNA creative should really figure out which names and concepts are worth moving forward with and which ones scream bad TNA.
Robbie E and Swoggle vs. Aron Rex and Rockstar Spud: The idea of the out of touch Jersey Shore bro playing a babyface role and mocking the heel for wearing “women’s lipstick” in 2017 is something that TNA should tread lightly with. Ring of Honor did a terrific job of walking the line during the Dalton Castle vs. Silas Young feud. It helped that the fans embraced Castle and he was the babyface. Quite frankly, I don’t have faith in TNA to know where the line is, and Robbie’s comment shows why.
Eli Drake talkshow: The return of the talkshow set is a positive. The fact that the it comes with awful laugh track and canned crowd reactions is a huge negative. There’s something charming about the set looking like it it was borrowed from a cable access show, but combining it with those canned reactions make the whole thing feel cheap and tacky. It also makes the entire show feel choppy. When I watch a taped wrestling show, I still want it to feel like it was taped live to tape. I didn’t feel that way at all while watching Impact this week, and this segment did not help the cause.
Brooke vs. Deonna Purrazzo: I was encouraged when Maria condescendingly asked Brooke if she was the Knockout who used to shake her ass. I figured this meant that someone in TNA finally figured out that having a babyface female wrestler walk onto the stage, bend over, and shake her ass is absurdly dated. I guess nothing really changes in TNA. The match itself was a little clunky, but it’s one I’d like to see again once Brooke shakes off the rust, as I suspect it would be much better.