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Pruett’s WrestleMania 34 Live Blog: Charlotte vs. Asuka for the Smackdown Women’s Championship, AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship, Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, and more

April 8, 2018

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By Will Pruett, ProWrestling.net Senior Staffer (@itswilltime)

WWE WrestleMania 34
Aired live on WWE Network and pay-per-view
New Orleans, Louisiana at Mercedes-Benz Superdome

Hour #1

– Four years into the WWE Network era and I still get excited before pay-per-views when I see the “do not pirate this” warnings. It reminds me of my days waiting for a VHS recording of PPVs on Monday mornings. WrestleMania is neat.

– The graphics appearing in the arena (like how the NFL does them on the field) is a neat touch. I wonder if WWE is getting a one-night use of this software or if it’s a new WWE feature.

– A brass band should absolutely play every wrestler to the ring. Also, Kid Rock should not exist as a musical human. More bass. Less Kid Rock. Thanks in advance, WrestleMania.

– Brilliance, splendor, and elegance were Michael Cole’s chosen words to describe WrestleMania this year. I guess pageantry was already taken.

– Seth Rollins is apparently taking eyecare advice from Ember Moon’s optometrist. This is a weird choice.

– Not into pop up words during promos? What if they’re in 3D? The Miz’s entrance just flew out of the screen at me.

– Forget Demon King Finn Balor. I’m about King of the Gays Finn Balor. For real, I adore the way WWE is actively promoting inclusivity. It’s about damn time.

– How did anyone thing Miz being added to Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins would make it worse? All three of these wrestlers are fantastic. This wasn’t on my radar for openers, but it is actively delighting me.

– Does the Curb Stomp from Seth Rollins hurt more or less when your head is actually hitting Miz’s back, not the ring mat?

– This WrestleMania is killing it so far. The crowd is massive and loud. The opening triple threat was creative and awesome. All this, plus a message of inclusivity? Yes. Forever.

– Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka should absolutely be the main event. I’ll accept this video package as ruling and such. I’ll enjoy this match. But please, know that this would be like 400 times better going on last.

– Who knew we’d be crowning a gosh darn Queen of us all so soon after we got a new King? Charlotte’s entrance is a masterpiece, y’all.

– I am absolutely afraid of those floating Asuka masks. Terrified, if I’m completely honest.

– Asuka countering Charlotte Flair’s moonsault with the triangle was fire emoji. (Note: fire emojis are not allowed according to the official Dot Net style guide, or I don’t know how to type them on my computer.)

– This is the first one-on-one women’s match at WrestleMania since 2006.

– I am stunned that Asuka’s streak just ended. The Superdome is officially cursed. Asuka and Charlotte would not have been out of place going on last. That was everything I want in a main event match at WrestleMania. I cannot wait to see these two against each other again. Wow. Just wow.

– Asuka confirming on the mic that Charlotte was ready completely worked for me. It’s a babyface vs. babyface match. These two killed it.

Hour #2

– How about we let the amazing women’s match breathe and have a moment instead of a gosh dang John Cena angle instantly occurring? Goodness gracious.

– I am not bothered by Asuka losing. I’m actually glad WWE made it happen in a major match and a major moment. Asuka is super talented and will continue to be a star. Charlotte is (likely) being built up for a WrestleMania main event with Ronda Rousey next year. I’ll call it alright.

– This United States Championship match is absolutely a buffer match, which is exactly where Randy Orton, Jinder Mahal, and Bobby Roode belong.

– If you want to kill a hot crowd, have Jinder Mahal pin one of the top five most popular wrestlers in the company. I will never understand why anyone would like Jinder over Rusev. This is the worst Rusev Day ever.

– The Fashion Police and Mick Foley in that Snickers commercial were better than the US Championship match.

– I didn’t think Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle vs. Stephanie McMahon and Triple H would be happening this early. I guess WWE wants to make sure those Ronda clips end up on Sportcenter tonight.

– Triple H is on the “Dad isn’t allowed to have a real motorcycle” bike again this year and he got Stephanie a matching one. I am dying with the giggles.

– Tricycle Dad Triple H is hilarious.

– “Now that’s a WrestleMania entrance” – Michael Cole. Well, he isn’t wrong. That was technically an entrance that happened at WrestleMania. No one can ever change that.

– I thought seeing Kurt Angle do his full entrance as a wrestler again in WWE would make me feel more than it did. Huh.

– Stephanie McMahon might be the best antagonist in professional wrestling.

– This is the main roster and WrestleMania debut of Drake Wuertz, the referee for this match. I couldn’t think of a nicer guy in wrestling. I’m so very happy for him.

– The Ronda Rousey hot tag was a work of art. Listen to that freaking crowd, people. This is over.

– Ronda’s mid-ring promo on Triple H was EVERYTHING. “I’m just going to keep beating up your wife, okay?”

– This match is basically Ronda Rousey beating up baby boomers. This is what generational change looks like. Well, it’s what it should look like.

– The end of that match was excellent. Ronda Rousey looked amazing. It got her armbar over. It made her look merciless. Ronda Rousey had one of the best debut matches in professional wrestling history tonight.

Hour #3

– The third hour of WrestleMania 34 started with New Day bringing out some little people dressed as pancakes handing out pancakes. WrestleMania is now a fever dream. It might be a bad one.

– The Smackdown Tag Team Championship match was good, but the crowd was not ready to see another match after exploding for Ronda. The Bludgeon Brothers make sense as champs. Here’s hoping New Day can move on (either together or separate) to bigger and better soon.

– Bruce Pritchard on WWE Network looks absolutely terrible. Nope. Nope. Nope.

– The John Cena troll job featuring Elias is maybe my favorite thing WWE’s done in years.

– Undertaker is not wrestling tonight. He has his full wig on. Mark “open carry for freedom” Callaway is not about to be embarrassed by his hair before a match.

https://twitter.com/thirdguess/status/983154071191289857

– Holy crap The Deadman proving me wrong. Brother got some sweet freaking hair extensions and we are actually getting this match. Crazy.

– John Cena came out for an Undertaker’s greatest hits sprint? That’s not exactly what I expected from Undertaker vs. Cena. This felt really weird.

https://twitter.com/MikeRoe/status/983156816874897409

– I am still not emotionally ready for Daniel Bryan’s in ring return. The next few minutes of blog will be brought to you by Crying Will.

– I didn’t even make it through the video before Bryan’s music before I started crying. I’m a mess. I am so happy I get to see Daniel Bryan wrestle again. This is wonderful.

– Like, I know it’s closer to my standard writing to be Shane McMahon obsessed, and I love him, but this is Bryan’s night. This is all about Daniel Bryan.

Hour #4

https://twitter.com/RedheadRasslin/status/983163620744974337

– As limited as Shane McMahon seems, I like the layout of building up for the best hot tag human in WWE history, Daniel Bryan, to get a hot tag. This is what got him there. This is what fans want to see more than anything. Give us that Daniel Bryan comeback.

– I was “Yes”ing in my living room with Bryan in the final moments of that match. It was absolutely wonderful. Daniel Bryan wrestling again is the best thing ever.

– Oh my goodness Bryan and Brie embrace and I’m crying again. Wrestling, man. Wrestling.

– With this match, WrestleMania 34 matches WrestleMania 33’s record for most matches featuring women: three! That is a neat thing and progress is cool, but WWE really needs to break that record in 2019. Let’s shoot for five or six matches featuring women, yeah?

– Nia Jax should absolutely win this match in like one minute. Nia Jax as Raw Women’s Champion could be super fun for a few months. Let’s do that.

– This isn’t the moment I would have picked to add in-ring credibility to Alexa Bliss, but it’s fine.

– Nia Jax winning the Raw Women’s Championship at WrestleMania is a WrestleMania moment. I’m really happy to see this. I didn’t love the story going in, but WWE didn’t pull a WrestleMania XIX Booker T vs. Triple H match. They went for and achieved inspirational victory.

– I’m a firm believer that if there are no hanging swinging hooks, it is not truly Backlash. Without hooks, WWE is giving us nothing at their next PPV.

– This AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura video package is really good. I just wish I wasn’t like two hours of video packages deep into the evening. Video packages are dizzying when used so often.

– WWE just did a full XFL Cable Cam shot as AJ Styles’ entrance ended and I am so here for this match. Holy goodness this is going to be fun.

Hour #5

– Nakamura is wrestling in non-traditional pants. I wonder if they breathe better than his normal pleather pants. Are they soft? Is AJ Styles more comfortable in this match than he normally is?

– A confession: the first part of this match is not grabbing my attention. I wouldn’t say it’s because of elapsed time in the match, these guys have been on a very long show together before. It’s just not paced well.

– AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura never felt like a dream match. The final counter into a Styles Clash didn’t even feel like a finish. I can’t think of why.

– Was this a case of Shinsuke not delivering in another match he wasn’t winning? We’ve seen that in the Jinder Mahal feud. It would not surprise me.

– Alright, so the ball shot and beat down from the angry Shinsuke Nakamura to AJ Styles helped make this match worth it. I still would rather see an epic match.

– Notice how the commentary team stayed silent and let the moment speak for itself with Shinsuke’s turn? Mauro Ranallo should be taking notes at home. He’s still somewhere yelling out movie titles and NXT wrestler names.

– This show is ending after midnight on the east coast. I am so thankful to live on the west coast. California is the best state.

– The Louisiana State Athletic Commision is not going to be happy about Braun Strowman picking a wrestling fan without a license to be his partner.

– Braun Strowman and Nicolas are my new favorite tag team. I’m actually excited to watch WWE 24: Nicolas in about six months.

– I am a little worried about the Raw after Mania crowd being mean to Nicolas. That would depress me.

– Roman Reigns joins Hulk Hogan as the only wrestler to main event four WrestleMania events in a row.

– This doesn’t quite match the amazing atmosphere Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns captured together at WrestleMania 31. They had something truly special that night (and the ending made it an all time great match). This isn’t giving me those vibes.

– Roman Reigns is great at getting beat up. Like, when he gets tossed around, it’s really something. Reigns is good at professional wrestling.

– Wasn’t the whole last year, including Lesnar easily rolling over Braun Strowman, all to set up Reigns kicking out of the F-5? He just kicked out of two. The crowd is silent. That’s depressing.

– Since his last match with Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar has had exactly one good match. It’s been years. Brock Lesnar is bad at professional wrestling. Roman Reigns is pretty good at it, and being dragged down tonight.

Hour #6

– What the hell was that? Brock Lesnar makes Roman Reigns bleed a gallon of blood and his awful title reign continues? This is really bad. Like, what a weird and awful ending to an otherwise great show.

– This is the first year in a while that we’re getting the instant post-show video package of WrestleMania. I used to love these! I mean, listening to Kid Rock is depressing as hell and this show ended in a cavalcade of sadness, but still.

– The show cut back to Roman walking out. That’s super awkward. Are we waiting for something to happen?

Will Pruett writes about wrestling and popular culture at prowrestling.net. Of interest to him are diversity in wrestling and wrestling as a theatrical art form. To see his video series “What I Love About Professional Wrestling” subscribe to his YouTube channel. To contact, check him out on Twitter @itswilltime, leave a comment, or email him at itswilltime@gmail.com.

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Readers Comments (2)

  1. Barton Hollow April 8, 2018 @ 9:26 pm

    Hell is you live blogging a wrestling show.

    Powell needs to do everyone a favor and send you back to the glee club where you belong.

    Reply
    • David April 8, 2018 @ 10:21 pm

      Yeah, this may actually be the worst live blog I’ve ever read.

      Powell’s are good enough to keep me coming back to the site, but yeah, this guy is some dead weight.

      Reply

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