By Colin McGuire, ProWrestling.net Staffer (@McGMondays)
AEW Rampage (Episode 83)
Taped March 8, 2023 in Sacramento, California at Golden 1 Center
Aired March 10, 2023 on TNT
Jim Ross welcomed everyone into the show. He was joined on commentary by Excalibur, Tony Schiavone and Chris Jericho. There were no introductions and we went right to the ring, complete with bell, to begin the first match.
1. Action Andretti vs. Sammy Guevara. Andretti took Guevara down right away and pounded him. Guevara tried to fight back, but Andretti took him down again. The two traded chops and Guevara went to the outside. Andretti worked Guevara over on the outside. Guevara eventually fought back and threw Andretti into the guardrail, but Andretti came right back and rolled Guevara into the ring … only to have Guevara roll outside the ring on the other side. Andretti responded by hitting a splash through the ropes. Andretti kept landing blows on Guevara on the outside.
Guevara threw Guevara into the ring steps after JR said Andretti shouldn’t high-five his fans. The two got back into the ring and Andretti hit a split-legged moonsault for a two-count. Things quickly went back outside and the two traded chops. Guevara rolled Andretti back into the ring but Andretti caught Guevara in some manner before clotheslining Guevara to the outside. Andretti then went for a springboard move onto Guevara on the outside, but Guevara caught him in midair and we got our first PIP [c].
ack from the break, Guevara worked a chin-lock on Andretti inside the ring. The two went for simultaneous cross-body-blocks and that resulted in both guys going down. On their knees, the wrestlers traded elbows. They got to their feet and kept going. Eventually, Andretti hit a hanging neck-breaker and Guevara rolled to the outside. Andretti landed a springboard moonsault and rolled Guevara back into the ring.
Andretti landed a springboard 450 splash in the ring for a good near-fall. Andretti and Guevara flipped together and Andretti got a two-count out of it (yes, that was the technical name for whatever happened … I think). Andretti went for the running shooting-star press, but Guevara got his knees up and then landed a wild DDT during which Andretti appeared to land on his head. Andretti then rolled to the outside. Guevara followed Andretti to the outside
Guevara put Andretti on the timekeeper’s table and climbed the ropes, but Andretti cut him off and hit a super-kick. Guevara ended up on the table and Andretti went to the top. Andretti hit a diving splash and had to jump a long, long, long way to do it. Andretti rolled Guevara back into the ring and went to the top. Daniel Garcia ran down and pushed Andretti off the rope. From there, Guevara hit the GTH for the win.
Sammy Guevara defeated Action Andretti via pinfall in 12:14.
Immediately after the match ended, we got a Darby Allin video. Allin said he’s a little too real, a little too crazy. Allin said he wants to go out in a blaze of glory. He then teased saying and/or doing something next week.
McGuire’s Musings: And so ends the Action Andretti experiment. Maybe not, but still. It’s great he got the surprise upset over Jericho, but not much has happened for the guy since then and taking this loss didn’t help much. That in mind, please allow me to whine for 10 seconds. Andretti put Guevara through a table. Was this a no DQ match? Was this a tables match? No. Why do we get this so much in AEW? Sometimes, we enforce the rules. Sometimes, we don’t. Either way, it makes all furniture stuff nearly irrelevant in this company. If we’re working the ECW style, where it was implied no rules mattered, then fine. But that’s not what’s going on here. It’s selective refereeing. And after a while, it becomes boring. Whining officially done. The match itself was nothing to write home about. Too much time outside and too much nonsense. Bah-humbug.
Back from break, we got a video from Jack Perry, who said Christian taught him how to pick his shot. Perry said he’d be damned if all he did was for nothing. He then added he’s coming for everyone with a title. Immediately, we got a video from Powerhouse Hobbs and QT Marshall. The latter said next week, QT will explain who broke into Wardlow’s car. So, hey there. It was a work all along.
2. “The Acclaimed” Max Caster and Anthony Bowens vs. Jack Cartwheel and Starboy Charlie. Caster’s rap included being happy to be in Sacramento, a censored word and Walgreens. GCW fans had to love this because both Cartwheel and Charlie got a hell of an ovation when they were introduced. Bowens chopped the life out of Cartwheel to begin the match. Bowens then beat Cartwheel down. Caster tagged in and slammed Cartwheel. Bowens came off the top to hit the Scissor Me Timbers on Cartwheel. Charlie tagged in, but Caster kicked him in the face. Bowens tagged in and The Acclaimed hit the Mic Drop for the win.
“The Acclaimed” Max Caster and Anthony Bowens defeated Jack Cartwheel and Starboy Charlie via pinfall in 1:42.
After the match, Daddy Magic and Angelo Parker appeared on the ramp. They jawed at The Acclaimed and then The Acclaimed did the scissor me bit in the ring with Daddy Ass. We went back to a video recorded on Wednesday from Jericho and Sammy and Garcia hyping up being in Winnipeg on Wednesday. We went back to the ring, where Preston Vance made his entrance.
3. Konosuke Takeshita vs. Preston Vance. The bell rang and the crowd was hot for Takeshita. Don Callis joined everyone on commentary. Vance and Takeshita locked up and Vance hit a chop and bowed to Takeshita. Takeshita ran the ropes in his aggressive way and there was a tiny bit of off-timing between the two, but Takeshita ultimately hit his leaping lariat. Vance rolled to the outside and Takeshita landed a splash before we got our next PIP [c].
McGuire’s Musings: The squash was fine enough and I guess we’re getting a Daddy Magic/Angelo Parker vs. The Acclaimed program, but I’m not quite sure what it’ll do for anyone involved. Good for Cartwheel and Charlie, though, for getting some national TV time. Those guys put in good work on the independents and you gotta think it’s only a matter of time before one if not both appear more regularly on AEW programming.
Back from break, Takeshita and Vance were even and hit double discus lariats to take each other out. Takeshita landed a knee strike from the middle rope and then hit the Blue Thunder Bomb for a good near-fall. Takeshita blasted Vance with a knee and went for the pin, but Jose put Vance’s leg on the rope to break up the pin. Takeshita took out Jose and Vance, as a result, hit Takeshita with a discus lariat for another good near-fall. Vance tried the full-nelson, but Takeshita rolled Vance up for a two-count. Eventually, Takeshita got in a back-slide for the win.
Konosuke Takeshita defeated Preston Vance via pinfall in 7:55.
After the match, we went right to a Swerve video, where Swerve said that maybe he makes mistakes and maybe he overestimated Keith Lee. Swerve said Lee took out his affiliates and he’s gotta hand it to Keith Lee. Swerve said he hasn’t thrown “every bullet he has in the chamber.” Swerve said he doesn’t lose wars. Swerve said he’s going to turn into a cannibal and he said Lee needs eyes in the back of his head.
Back in the ring, Mark Briscoe had a microphone and the crowd was pumped. Briscoe said he was represented the “baddest tag-team in all of time and space, the Briscoe Brothers.” Briscoe reminded everyone they were 13-time ROH tag champs. Mark said it was time to move forward with the titles. Mark said he had an idea and it’s that March 31 at Supercard of Honor, they should find the best tag-teams on the planet, get a ladder and do a “Reach For The Sky” ladder match. The crowd cheered and Mark said he thought that sounded good, too. Briscoe introduced the Lucha Bros as the first entrants in the match. The Lucha Bros came to the ring and celebrated with Briscoe.
McGuire’s Musings: Let’s work backwards. It was hard to avoid the spoiler that Briscoe came out for the announcement of the ladder match for Supercard, but even though the announcement didn’t pack a surprise punch, it was really cool seeing him out there, introducing the Lucha Bros and getting the crowd ready to go. That match might be worth the PPV price alone. Before that, Takeshita and Vance worked well together, but we missed a lot of it due to the longest PIP of the night. I’m happy to see Takeshita go over because that would most likely suggest we are going to get the Omega/Takeshita program in some fashion sooner than later. That notion was tipped off even more by Callis sitting in on commentary. How’s that no-mask life working out for you, Preston? Just an innocent question.
Coming back from commercial, we got a video profiling the Stokely vs. Hook program. Hook and Stokely will battle in a no DQ match. We got the Mark Henry segment, but sadly, again, it was a pre-tape.
4. Nyla Rose vs. Riho. Rose walked to the ring without Vickie (but with Marina Shafir) and if The Internet is to be believed, that’s because Vickie was asked to stay home until her contract runs out. Sometimes, The Internet is wrong. Sometimes, The Internet is not wrong. Anyway, the two locked up and Rose backed Riho into a corner. Riho tried to slam Rose, but that wasn’t going to happen. Nyla countered with a slam and splash of her own for a two-count. Riho came right back with some dropkicks and Rose went to the outside, where Riho went for a dive, but Rose caught her and carried her until Riho rammed Rose into the ring steps.
Rose rolled back into the ring while Shafir intimidated Riho. Riho went to the top and hit a splash for a two-count. Rose picked Riho up for a standing vertical suplex and hit it. Rose ran at Riho, but Riho moved and hit a neck-breaker over the rope. Riho was pulled off the apron by Shafir and Shafir hit Riho before rolling Riho back into the ring. From there, we got our final PIP of the night [c].
Back from break, Rose ran into Riho to take Riho to the mat. Rose placed Riho on the top rope and pounded on her. Riho fired up and pounded on Rose. Riho ultimately hit a jumping knee strike and that turned into a foot-stomp from the top for a two-count. Riho went to lift Rose, but Rose blocked it and came back with a powerslam for a two-count. Rose draped Riho over the top rope and hit a knee-drop (the way Rose beat Riho for the title a couple years ago) for a fun false finish. Rose went to the top and went for a Senton, but Riho moved and landed a wild Northern Lights suplex for a good near-fall.
Riho went for a running knee strike, but Rose moved. Rose went for a cannonball, but Riho moved and Rose went into the turnbuckle. Riho hit a crucifix bomb for a two-count. Shafir pulled Riho’s boot, but that was enough for Rose to lift Riho … until Riho rolled through and pinned Rose for the win.
Riho defeated Nyla Rose via pinfall in 12:04.
After the match, Shafir and Rose attacked Riho, complete with powerbomb from Rose to Riho. Rose and Shafir left the ring, but The Outcasts came to the ring with a lot of spray paint. Toni Storm spray-painted Riho. The heels posed to little reaction and the show ended.
McGuire’s Musings: I’ll forever and always have a soft spot in my heart for a Nyla Rose/Riho match if only because I was at that first Dynamite and I had no clue who either wrestler was, but by the end of that match, I was hooked on the drug that was AEW. I continue to believe those two work so well together and I’m beyond happy they got the main event slot here. Riho got the win, but Nyla got her heat back immediately with the post-match attack … which only led to the Outcasts attack, which was the real reason we got here. In the interim, however, I thought these women did a great job of working a fun match that should probably get more notoriety than it will receive. If there’s one to watch from the night, this would be my pick.
Overall, though? Another forgettable Rampage. That comes on the heels of an honestly forgettable Dynamite. You had what some consider to be the best match in the history of the company, that so many people paid 50 American dollars for on Sunday … to ostensibly ignore it outside of a Bryan Danielson three-minute promo on Wednesday? Even if we’re moving forward, that’s fine, but as I wrote in my latest McGuire’s Mondays column, a reset can be good, only if we’re committing to a meaningful reset. So far, not so much. I’ll have more to say during my audio review.
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