By John Moore, Prowrestling.net Staffer (@liljohnm)
Impact Wrestling on PopTV
Taped October 15-16 in New York City, New York at the Melrose Ballroom
Impact aired a replay of last week’s Johnny Impact and Killer Kross interview which included a lot of nuclear Armageddon and illuminati imagery. The promo ended with the title “Final Hour” where the “O” in hour is the Killer Kross symbol. The Impact Wrestling theme aired…
Josh Mathews and Don Callis were on commentary…
1. “The OGz” Homicide and Hernandez (w/Eddie Kingston) vs. “The Lucha Brothers” Pentagon Jr. and Rey Fenix. The two teams had a shoving match before the bell. Don Callis said that Kingston was a wood tick and parasite. A small pocket of Impact fans tried to start a “Culero” (asshole) chant to no avail. Homicide went after Penta outside while Hernandez and Fenix wrestled in the ring. Hernandez swatted the flying Fenix with a simple but effective shove. Homicide tried to use a fork, but the referee took the fork away from him.
The OGz took down Pentagon with a double shoulder block. More basic brawling ensued. Hernandez hit Fenix with a backbreaker. Hernandez worked on Pentagon in the ring with a running senton and chinlock. Pentagon fended off both OG members with kicks, so he could bring in his brother for the hot tag. Fenix took out Homicide and Hernandez with a high-flying springboard fist. Pentagon tagged in but was tripped by Kingston. Fenix took out everyone outside with a top rope Asai Moonsault. Hernandez recovered and took out everyone with a top rope clearing crossbody.
The OGz went back to methodical offense on Pentagon in the ring. Don Callis noted that Pentagon is a great wrestler but not used to brawls. Hernandez cradled Fenix and hit him with a sitout power bomb. The Lucha Brothers recovered and hit Hernandez with a What’s Up dropkick. They took down Hernandez with double kicks and an assisted splash for a nearfall. King gave Homicide the slapjack but he ate a superkick from Fenix to nullify the interference. Pentagon hit Hernandez with the Del Rio stomp. Fenix took down Kingston with a superkick. Fenix hit his signature tightrope swanton followed by a pentagon stomp on Hernandez. Penta hit Fenix with a wheelbarrow driver on Hernandez for the pinfall win.
The Lucha Brothers defeated The OGz via pinfall in 7:13.
Kingston kicked the cameraman while Kingston was on the ground. Josh and Don recapped the highlights. Pentagon put a Cero Miedo fan sign on Hernandez… [c]
John’s Thoughts: That was oddly enough a glorified squash. An entertaining squash, but the Lucha Brothers were dominant and the OGz can’t beat any real tag teams. Is this it or are they going to have to send Kingston to try to kill Richie again to make Konnan mad? Anyway, an entertaining opening match, but I would still argue that the parts of the LB are greater than the sum. A few weeks ago, I watched a great main event between Pentagon Jr. and Hernandez on the El Rey Wednesday show that was WAY better than this. Impact is struggling to find a top heel without Aries. Why not make Pentagon Jr. Impact Wrestling’s top heel because he is a proven main event? Instead Josh Mathews treats him like Jack Swagger with the “former world champion” qualifier.
Penta and Fenix were talking with each other. Konnan met with them and congratulated them. Santana and Ortiz joined the scene right before the Lucha Brothers left. LAX wondered what Konnan was speaking in Spanish about with the LBs. Konnan said he invited them to the celebration on beating the OGz. Ortiz said that party already happened a month ago. Konnan said they have “a month to go” more with the party…
Josh Mathews and Don Callis checked in from the upper deck of the Melrose Ballroom. Callis said Konnan is the linchpin in many situations in Impact and worldwide. Callis said that in being the invincible hand of pro wrestling, Konnan has made himself a target to people like Kingston. Josh hyped Cage traveling to Ohio to attack Sami Callihan. Callis said everyone in Ohio is by default angry and miserable because of the fact that they live in Ohio. Josh nodded in agreement. Callis said the Ohioans are going to swarm Cage like a plague of locust. Callis said Cage may be able to beat ten men but he can’t beat an entire state full of degenerates. Josh then hyped the rest of the advertised matches…
Katarina Lea (as she was announced as) made her entrance. Her opponent was the debuting Jordynne Grace. Don Callis talked about his history in ECW where he managed Rhyno. Callis said that Grace might be the female version of Rhyno because she’s short but powerful with a lot of wrestling ability…
2. Jordynne Grace vs. Katarina Lea. Mathews talked about Grace’s powerlifting ability. Katarina dominated early on with the height advantage. Katarina pummeled Grace with kicks and punches in the corner. Grace fought out of the corner and tossed away Katarina with a press slam. Katarina came back with a pump kick. Josh Mathews said that Katarina has a lot of speed just like Keanu Reeves in the movie “Speed” airing on PopTV after Impact. Don said, “He’s so hot” about Keanu and hoped that Keanu takes off his shirt in the movie.
Katarina had the advantage until Grace blocked a running lariat. Katarina used her size to block a Grace pumphandle. Grace went into clubbing blows. Katarina came back with a kick. Katarina took down Grace with a tornado DDT. Katarina then did some overacting and choreographed poses that Don Callis called her out on. The poses allowed Grace to recover and put Katarina in the bear hug. Katarina tapped out.
Jordynne Grace defeated Katarina Lea via submission in 2:33.
Grace ragdolled Katie a bit more after the match before tossing her aside. Josh talked about how the Knockouts division was filling out a little more…
John’s Thoughts: A good, yet a bit odd, women’s match. I’ve talked about how Katarina as an enhancement talent is a huge upgrade over Alisha Edwards and Rebel, but here she overshadowed and dominated the debuting powerhouse of the Knockouts division. In fact, Katarina cost herself the match because she decided to do a choreographed dance in the middle of the match. As for Grace, I do like her unique ability and look and was really impressed by her showcase in the All-In battle royal against Brian Cage. Don Callis also made it seem like he’s going to push Grace like Paul Heyman pushed Rhyno in ECW so that’s intriguing.
A Josh Mathews voice over interjected and hyped Cage invading Ohio…
The show cut to a Lucha Underground-esque cinematic camera showing Cage traveling to Ohio from the freeway. Jake and Dave Crist were shown talking to indie security guards outside of the “Rockstar Pro Arena” on tightening up their defenses. Cage then emerged from an incoming car as Dave yelled to the indie guards “go get him!”. Of course as expected, Cage treated the guards like cannon fodder as he tossed one guy like he was Rey Mysterio going into a trailer. Cage tossed the other guards into the truck trailer too. Cage manhandled the Crist brothers easily. Cage choked Jake against a wall and asked for Sami. Cage then entered the indie promotion’s door… [c]
John’s Thoughts: Not as bad a cinematic as we usually get from Impact because it was simple and less contrived like that lame ass undead realm stuff. Why not do more cinematics with Cage traveling to random places to beat up random people like a beat-em-up video game? I also grew up on the Sega Genesis, so I wouldn’t mind playing a game called Streets of “Cage”…
Back from the break, instead of using the HQ cinematic camera, inside of the promotion they used some sort of low budget crappier camera to record Cage entering the ring. Cage soaked up boos from the crowd. Cage called Dayton Ohio a “s–thole”. Cage yelled that the real Brian Cage is here today. Cage said he’s putting the title on the line right now because Sami is a bitch. Sami Callihan made his entrance with the green toy X Division title he made last week…
Josh Mathews was on solo commentary for this match…
3. Brian Cage vs. Sami Callihan for the Impact X Division Championship at the Rockstar Pro promotion in Dayton Ohio. Cage took down Sami with a lariat. Cage tossed around Sami easily. Josh explained that the crowd is behind Sami because this is Ohio. Cage fought off Cage from the ring apron but Cage regained control by powerbombing Sami into a random post. Cage took off his shirt and tossed Sami Callihan into the front row of fans. Sami escaped the Fireman Carry with an eye rake. Cage hit Sami with an Alabama Slam because Sami decided to do his Thumbs up thing. Jake Crist ran into the ring and hit Cage for the DQ.
Brian Cage defeated Sami Callihan via DQ 2:27.
Cage manhandled OVE and hit both Crist Brothers with a singular German Suplex. Two more random independent wrestlers entered the ring. Cage hit one guy with an F5 and swatted the other one away. Two more indie guys ran in and Cage hit them with a one-man power bomb. Jake and Dave ended Cage’s onslaught with a double chop block while the other indie guys held Cage in place, so Sami could hit Cage with the X Division title. OVE and the Ohio indie wrestlers put the boots to Cage.
Josh Mathews said Cage is like Thanos while the Ohioans were like the Avengers, except the Avengers are the bad guys in this case. Dave Crist hit Cage with Sliced Bread #2 which set up for more flips from the random indie guys. Jake hit Cage with a Super RKO. Sami did his thumb thing before hitting Cage with a pile driver. Sami held up the X title while leading the crowd in an “Everything!” chant…
John’s Thoughts: Mixed thoughts here. In concept, this seemed pretty decent and it would have helped Cage earlier in his run to see him walk the streets and beat up random people (just like his Lucha Underground vignettes where he beat up thugs in Los Angeles while being a thug himself). On the other hand, they’re really making Sami Callihan and OVE out to look really weak because they’re very similar to the OGz in that they are useless unless the babyface slips on a banana peel. And why did they go to the crappy camera after using a higher quality cam right outside. Impact getting poor buzz, negative reactions, mediocre production, combined with them going back to poor indie footage really paints a bad picture for the promotion as a whole. They also found a way to cool off their strongest non-Aries heel in Sami.
Josh Mathews recapped the Rockstar Pro segment where he reiterated his comparison of Cage getting beat up to Thanos getting beat up…
They cut to Taya Valkyrie standing in front of a fuchsia colored wall. Taya repeated her complaints about Tessa being a coward by referencing their last match where Tessa punched the referee on purpose. Taya said Tessa is spoiled and entitled while calling herself untouchable and undeniable (again, Taya needs to avoid this because she comes off as the pot calling the kettle black). Taya said people call her the Wera Loca because Taya comes after and gets what she wants. Taya said she will have any type of match. She said she didn’t come to the Impact Zone for nothing and she said that she came here to become the champion of Los Knockouts. Taya said she’s waiting for Tessa…
Josh Mathews cut to the Global Wrestling Network Flashback Match of the Week. They cut to a 2008 episode of Impact Wrestling where it was Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley against two random Japanese wrestlers that I’m not familiar…
John’s Thoughts: So they air this GWN match of the week to advertise their streaming service, yet if you go right now to check out their streaming service (you can browse the library for free before viewing), you can see that they haven’t uploaded any Impact episodes between 2006-2014. Go check it yourself. If you remember the old TNA website you have to agree that it’s such an “Only in TNA” thing to advertise something that doesn’t exist, and at least in the last two weeks Anthem has done that.
McKenzie Mitchell interviewed Moose and Killer Kross about their respective matches on this episode of Impact. Moose called Eddie Edwards “a thorn in my ass” and a “scratch in my Bentley”. Moose reiterated his point from last week about being former best friends. Moose said Kross is his new brother. Moose said he doesn’t want to beat Eddie, he wants to hurt Eddie to put an end to this. Kross said, “hello John”. Kross talked about standing at the end of the world. He then went into his apocalyptic rhetoric. Kross said he was going to take Johnny’s “Title Championship”. Kross ended the promo with his White Rabbit catchphrase “Tick Tock”… [c]
Josh Mathews transitioned to more Scarlett Bordeaux talent videos. There was a guy in a suit and luchador mask, Shark Boy, and two different videos of guys who may be stoned…
KM and Fallah Bahh walked into the Scarlett Bordeaux smoke show. Cheesy 70s sitcom music played as KM was asking for Scarlett to help his team again. KM said she should be at the front of the line because they are an example of Scarlett’s coaching being successful. Scarlett said they were successful but Bahh lost his title shot. KM said Bahh came close. Scarlett said close doesn’t get you “This” (Scarlett’s body). KM argued that Bahh was impressive and even hit Aries with “The People’s Toe”. KM said they will do anything for Scarlett.
KM ordered Bahh to take off his clothes and dance. Bahh took off his robe and some cheap post production music cut in. Scarlett said taking clothes off gave her an idea. Scarlett said Vegas is the city of sin, bright lights, brothels, and money (so Scarlett’s a ho now?). Scarlett asked KM and Bahh what their favorite game was, like strip poker. Scarlett told them to win her something and they might get lucky with Scarlett. KM fainted on the couch…
John’s Thoughts: Scarlett’s great and the KM and Bahh team are really good, but why does Impact seem obsessed with trying to get over this esoteric comedy over trying to make a wrestling product that appeals to the masses?
Josh Mathews went into overacting Michael Cole mode in laughing at the fan video submissions…
Moose and Eddie Edwards made their entrance. Edwards brought his kendo stick with him. Edwards gave Moose a suicide dive before the bell…
4. Eddie Edwards vs. Moose. Mathews used this match to advertise the twitch channel. Edwards gave Moose another suicide dive sending him into EC3 jacket guy. EC3 jacket guy gave Edwards a beer can to hit Moose with. Eddie Edwards tossed some ice from a bucket at Moose. Edwards kicked a bucket (pa dum tsss). Moose countered with a flying hesitation dropkick. Moose put the boots to Eddie. Moose hit Eddie with a catapult hold under the ring. EC3 jacket guy gave Moose an ice bucket. Moose pump kicked the ice bucket into Eddie’s head.
Moose brought the action in the ring to officially start the match. Mathews went into his somber voice for some reason talking about how Moose and Edwards are supposed to celebrate their friendship. Edwards ended Moose’s rally with a reversal suplex. Moose caught Eddie off the top rope with a standing dropkick which sent Edwards into the ringside area. Callis said Moose isn’t champion because he lacks focus and parties a lot. Callis then brought up that only Ric Flair can be world champ like that.
Edwards gave Moose a Belly to Belly at ringside. Edwards trapped Moose’s hamstring against the ring post, so he could pummel Moose all over. Moose slammed a piece of the ring on moose (is this no DQ?). Edwards hit Moose with a Blue Thunder Bomb for the nearfall. Moose blocked a Tiger Suplex and caught Eddie with a pump kick. Eddie came back with a step up enzuigiri. Moose hit Eddie with a Super Go to Hell for a two count. Eddie surprised Moose with a spear and Tiger Driver for the two count. Moose hit Edwards with a jackknife spinebuster but couldn’t follow up with it. [c]
Moose and Eddie had a strong style punch exchange back from commercial. Edwards did a “come on” that sounded like he wanted to channel Shinsuke Nakamura. Edwards tore up his shirt to continue the strong style chop exchange. Moose dominated with rapid fire chest slaps. This exchange took a little while. Edwards managed to back up Moose with his own rapid-fire chops. After more strike exchanges, Edwards took down Moose with a Clothesline from Hell to gain a moment of respite for both men.
Moose blocked a huracanrana and gave Edwards a Border Toss onto the entrance ramp. Alisha Edwards ran out to check on Eddie. Callis called Alisha a disgusting piece of human garbage. Alisha yelled at Moose for a bit. Moose went back to focus on Eddie. Edwards sidestepped a Moose spear. Edwards entered the ring and walked right into a Moose spear for the clean win.
Moose defeated Eddie Edwards via pinfall in 12:00 of TV Time.
Callis and Mathews talked about how the Border Toss to the ramp was the x factor in this match. Mathews said Moose has gone too far (really?)…
John’s Thoughts: A good effort and good match by both men. I think this might be Moose’s biggest win in Impact Wrestling since he’s looked so pathetic for years. You could tell that Moose and Edwards are good friends because they had some chemistry to put on a quality encounter. This match wasn’t without detracting factors. One, Edwards was still trying to shoehorn moments of “crazy” in the match. Another detractor is this feud hasn’t been all too hot. Nowhere as close as the Callihan feud. Not to mention, the build to this match was the laughable kidnapping cinematic where Alisha Edwards defeated Moose by throwing water at him.
Ugh… It was time for this week’s Undead Realm universe cinematic, or whatever we’re supposed to call this thing. Allie and Kiera Hogan were talking in a stairwell. James Mitchell popped up behind them. He said he was there to check on his investment. Allie argued about Mitchell terrorizing Rosemary and Allie. Allie said she fought and saved Kiera from the Undead Realm and will do it again (but Kiera is not there anymore?). Mitchell said he likes Allie’s spunk. Mitchell said that tenacity is going to serve Allie well in her new life. Mitchell said Allie made a deal and now it’s time for Allie to keep her end of the bargain.
Mitchell said he knows how Allie feels because he was in the same situation many years ago. Mitchell said all he had to do was let the darkness consume him which makes him the man he is today. Mitchell asked Allie to let him heal her and let Mitchell “fill that dark hole where [Allie’s] soul used to be” (is that some sort of weird metaphor for sex?). Kiera stopped Allie from holding Mitchell’s hand and told Allie to remember what Mitchell put Kiera and Rosemary through (so they’re retconning James Mitchell as the reason this weird story is happening?). Allie asked Mitchell to agree to not mess with Allie’s friends if she goes with him. Suddenly Su Yung “teleported” in and held her hand out with the power of bad Adobe After-Effects effects. Allie grabbed Su and James’ hand. Allie said it’s not what she wants, it’s what it has to be… [c]
John’s Thoughts: Seriously, what’s the end game to this? Here’s the thing, I review Lucha Underground and there, there is a lot of attention to detail, plot lines, and endgames. This story only seems to be happening so the wrestlers can have fun playing out pretentious existential skits. The writing of this section comes off as bootleg and pretentious. And why do their storyline rules keep changing week to week? This section of Impact sucks!
A doctor was checking up on Eddie Edwards and told him to inform the doctor if concussion symptoms arise. The doctor told Alisha to make sure Eddie doesn’t fall asleep tonight due to the possible concussion. After the doc left Edwards started standing up and said he was fine. Alisha went back to yelling at Eddie. Eddie wanted to know where Moose was…
Josh Mathews said Eddie Edwards has an unhealthy obsession with Moose…
Eli Drake and Joseph Park made their entrance. Edwards said when he got in the business there were men and larger than life characters who dominate men with their hands, feet, and words. Drake said he’s the last of a dying breed. The crowd cheered. Drake said Impact has been perpetuating a bunch of “violent crap” (Drake has a point). Drake said there are nerds in the back who are influenced by guys like Abyss who influence “Death”, “Table”, “Chair”, and other matches. Drake said maybe Impact wants him to go extinct because he’s the last of a dying breed. The crowd cheered at Drake again.
John’s Thoughts: So Drake is trying to appeal to old school elitist wrestling veterans now? At least he isn’t cutting a Dwayne Johnson promo this week, but if Drake is trying to be the heel it doesn’t help when the crowd cheers him and boos the incompetent company.
Drake said he’s retiring the open challenge and suing Impact Wrestling for an unsafe working environment. Drake joked about Park wearing a tracksuit and told him to explain his lawsuit to the crowd. Park said he in fact filed a lawsuit against Impact Wrestling LLC for an unsafe working environment according to “E…li…Drake”. Park said he always wanted to do that. Park then went to Bound for Glory and used the OGz vs. LAX loose floorboard match as a big example. Callis said Park is a stooge. Park then said he’ll let Chris Abyss pass since Chris is a Hall of Famer.
Park said that he was told by Drake that there are other people making their entrance to join the class action lawsuit. Eli Drake gave Park a low blow and yelled at Joseph about Abyss throwing him through a table. Eli Drake then yelled at Park that he was trying to avenge the people who were corrupted because of people like Park who innovated the hardcore style. Drake said Park should be done with his career because of how he tore up his body as Abyss. Drake said if Park won’t let his career die, Drake will end it. Drake then brought a chair to the ring and started to hit Park with it. Drake then pummeled Park with the chair. Callis said he was enjoying this. And the crowd goes mild. The crowd didn’t really care…
John’s Thoughts: So they spent months and months of Eli Drake in the comedy undercard to lead to a presumed Monster’s Ball match at Impact Wrestling Homecoming at the Nashville Fairgrounds? How disappointing. Maybe Eli Drake should have went to NXT? Don’t say I’m wrong with how disappointing this is for Drake, who got cheers when he was talking against Impact management and a non-reaction when attacking Joe Park. Zero heat! At least this was a logical route, but Drake’s evil plan is still contrived.
McKenzie Mitchell interviewed Johnny Impact backstage. Johnny said he’s not a hard guy to find. Johnny said Fenix asked for a shot like a man and he gave Fenix a title shot. Johnny said Kross should have done the same thing but Kross decided to attack Johnny and leave a calling card. Johnny said he’ll give Kross a title shot. Johnny said he has a calling card too. And it’s called “Starship Pain” (Dammit John!)… [c]
John’s Thoughts: Welp, you knew it had to end someday. It’s probably just a one-time thing since it’s habit for him but he was looking really good when he was acting like a human being and proud champ. Here he brings back one of his lame insults. As I keep saying, we need Lucha Underground Season 4 Johnny Impact where they’re framing him as a lovable idiot, and it’s working there!
Josh hyped up the Sam’s Town Casino tapings for Impact. The commentators then talked about the Eli Drake and Joseph Park segment. Josh even talked about how contrived it was. Callis said Park needs to stop interjecting himself in these situations. They then tried to talk about the Allie and James Mitchell situation. Callis said the simple answer is women in general shouldn’t leave with Father James Mitchell…
Kross and Moose made their entrance first… [c]
5. Johnny Impact vs. Killer Kross (w/Moose) for the Impact World Championship. Kross pie faced Johnny early on. Johnny went into some MMA holds early on. Kross powered through on Johnny with an Alabama Slam. Kross went for a Super Doomsday Saito but Johnny managed to push Kross off. Moose got up on the apron to distract Johnny from a follow up. This allowed Kross to roll to ringside. The referee ejected Moose to the back. Josh Mathews said that Moose can go to the back so he can watch Speed starring Keanu Reeves on PopTV.
John’s Thoughts: These Josh and Don PopTV plugs are a guilty pleasure.
Johnny and Kross traded shots. Kross took Johnny to ringside with a simple and effective lariat. Kross took down Johnny with a Dragon Screw. Callis name dropped Hiroshi Tanahashi. Johnny did his signature corner parkour on Kross. Kross countered Johnny’s Guillotine Choke with a suplex. Kross insulted Johnny with lax covers. Johnny tried to get a rollup in. John caught Kross with a Shining Wizard. Johnny used the ropes to block an Alabama Slam. Johnny hit Kross with a Pile Driver for a two count.
Johnny hit Kross with a Moonlight Drive for a two count. Kross shoved Johnny to prevent Johnny from doing a springboard move. Kross shoved Johnny to the stage. Kross tossed Johnny in the ring with a Razor’s Edge. Kross locked Johnny in a Liontamer. Johnny got to the bottom rope for the break. Johnny rolled up Kross for a two count. Johnny got Kross’s feet tied up on the bottom rope so he could double stomp him to the ringside area. Johnny counted down and hit the Impact Elbow for a two count.
Johnny struggled to get Killer Kross up who was limp. Kross was playing possum as he hit Johnny with a power bomb and gutwrench combo. Kross called Johnny a “stupid bastard”. Johnny blocked the Kross Jacket. Johnny played footsies with Kross by fending him off with kicks. Kross showed a bit of aggression but Johnny hit Kross with Starship Pain for the win.
Johnny Impact defeated Killer Kross via pinfall in 12:08.
Johnny Impact celebrated his win to a pretty tepid crowd reaction. Johnny even tried to fire up the crowd by the end to no success. Impact Wrestling ended…
John’s Thoughts: Well, that was a match. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t anything unique either. Just business as usual for Johnny. Kross did okay, but I’ve seen way better from him in other promotions. If Kross wants to look for inspiration I would recommend he look at some of the work Mark Henry did during his “Hall of Pain” run because Kross has a similar violent mean streak. For current wrestlers, I would say he needs to take look at the work that Lars Sullivan and Hideo Itami are currently doing. Itami’s heel work in particular might work better for Kross because of the martial arts background.
Overall this was a fairly uneventful and disappointing show. The very mild crowd hurt the atmosphere. I get that this is the last show in the TV tapings but I’ve been in the middle of 10-hour TV Tapings main evented by Johnny Impact that had better crowds so that shouldn’t be an excuse. This was just a show that didn’t captivate the crowd. It’s a bit funny that the Impact Zone fans like EC3 Jacket guy traveled up to New York to add that Impact Zone dead feel tonight (not to blame them in particular, just a coincidence). Jason Powell will be by later today with a Hit List and Members Exclusive Audio Review.
Check below for the latest Pro Wrestling Boom Podcast with Jason Powell and guest Salina de la Renta from Major League Wrestling.
Again, Moore’s usual Impact review that consists of two things: Either “bad match”, or “good match but let me point out some negatives”.