Shore's Weekend Promo: A terrible week for 'rasslin fans, Triple H spurs me to create a charity, Brodus Clay blows me away, Bret Hart goes too far, the Iron Sheik speaks for everyone, and CHIKARA

Posted in: Shore Editorials, Shore's Blog, MUST-READ LISTING
Mar 5, 2011 - 04:49 PM

In the spirit of my beloved WCW Saturday Night, welcome to the Shore Weekend Promo. Every week I will mention, the good, the bad, the ugly, and whatever else I want to talk about across all of wrestling.

Opening Series (My overall thoughts on the week): What a week for wrestling. Actually, what a week for no wresting. Between Raw, Impact and Smackdown we had about 28 seconds of combined wrestling and 97 hours of backstage segments and promos. For the love of Pete, there wasn't that much talking in my house this week and I live with five women! It never ceases to amaze me how little wrestling actually happens on the shows sometimes. It shouldn't on WWE where Vince would scrap the ring if he could, but TNA continues to prove that they just want to be copycats. Copy WWE, copy ECW, copy WCW. I can't imagine why they don't get any traction.

Pops (The best of the week):

-Undertaker's promo on Smackdown was not only good, but a Game changer, pun intended. After watching Triple H say that nobody in the back is worthy to lace his boots it was nice to see Taker ignore everybody else and just concentrate on the people actually in the match. His "Last Outlaw" comments where cool and weird at the same time. I dig the idea, but it's so odd to hear Taker do anything but the typical "Deadman" stuff. I also love that he's still using Johnny Cash. That dude was the real last outlaw. If you haven't ever heard it, you owe it to yourself to hear his version of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt." Unreal.

-Thank you to ROH for giving me almost a solid hour of wrestling on Monday. I generally believe the HDNet show will provide the best wrestling of the week. I didn't know it would also provide the only wrestling this week. And as happy as I am that I got to see that much, the idea of April 11 being the first day without ROH breaks my heart. I better enjoy it while I can. Nobody else is going to give me anything to watch at the rate things are going.

-It's been five days and I'm still blown away by Brodus Clay's promo at the end of NXT. I thought the guy was great all season, but in that moment I understood that if allowed to create his character the way he wants, he has money written all over him. And I mean ALL over him. My gmail box is clean and ready for the hate mail, so here comes the truth folks: He was as good in that promo as I have heard from anyone. Ric Flair, CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, I'll take them all on with this promo. And you do know that.

-I try to keep my private life as private as possible for obvious reasons. But I feel compelled to take a moment and thank all of you for your kind words and prayers from my request on Twitter. For those who don't follow (and you really should, we have a lot of fun on there), it has been a rough week for me when it comes to family and friends and horrible diseases. Two are just starting their journey, and sadly, one is about to end hers. I am thankful, now more than ever, that these people have been in my life.

To the two starting on their fight, know I am a hell of a corner man. Call if you need anything. For the one who is in the final round, know this. You left it all in the ring, and we will chant your name when you take the long walk down the aisle for the last time. And I give my word I will watch out for your boy. He brought me through so much, and it is high time I returned the favor. We will miss you, but I've read the Book, as I know you have, and that locker room is a beautiful place.

Heat (The worst of the week):

-I need someone to explain to me why the nursing home is back on top in TNA. The people made to look the best this Thursday were Hulk Hogan, Jeff Jarrett, Kurt Angle and Sting. Jarrett and Angle annoy me, but Sting and Hogan are a joke. I'm not going to go off on Sting here because I will in my (long promised) blog tomorrow (I didn't want to steal Pruett's thunder), but let me say that Hulk Hogan is a blight on the wrestling landscape. If Dixie Carter has any sense left—and the evidence suggests not—she'll get rid of the Geriatric Gang and let AJ Styles, Robert Roode and even Jeff Hardy make the company a real promotion.

-Now as much as I hate Hulk Hogan—and boy do I—I have to throw a bomb at Bret Hart for his John Graziano comment. What Hogan said to his son about John (basically) deserving it was so very far out of line he deserves an award for it. But he didn't actually do anything to Graziano. Hart clearly had the moral high ground on Hogan, but he ceded it with his comment. I hope he learns to control himself in the future.

-I'm thinking about starting a non-profit that sends shovels to buried WWE wrestlers. Sheamus needs a backhoe at this point, but Triple H managed to ensure that I would be very busy. I still haven’t gotten over how much he just rained crap on everyone with his promo on Monday. I realize it fits his character, and I also realize there may be a plan here. But that doesn't make it good or necessary. With so many more ways to put this match over—like Taker did—it was lazy writing on his, or whoever wrote the promo, fault.

Tweet This (Best Tweets from "The Boys"):

CM Punk: “@officialsjk: #NFL Lockout will begin in a few hours. Somebody get Keanu Reeves on the phone.” First I was afraid. I was petrified...

Steve Corino:Who is a cheap wad? This guy. Ran out of cologne so instead of buying new, I got 12 free samples from the Duty Free store. Win Like Sheen

Christopher Daniels: Hey, @SteveCorino , if I buy @RobDimension a candle, would he like Peaches N'Skeet, or ManAss?

Colt Cabana: I hope your whole family diets (for health reasons)

Chris Jericho: Just noticed that "Bye Bye Love" by The Cars and "Down Boys" by Warrant are the same song. And what exactly is a "Down Boy" anyway?

Obligatory Iron Sheik Tweet (speaking for all of us): #wwe i love my family my heart. but if the fucking michael cole get put over in the wrestlemania i fucking go crazy

Don't forget you can follow me on Twitter @the_shore_slant

Go Home (The Big Finish, Whatever I Want):

I routinely blast camp comedy in WWE and TNA because it is overdone to the point that it is no longer funny. And even when it is, it takes away from the rest of the show. So it may come as a huge surprise to many of you that my new favorite promotion is CHIKARA. To be sure, they take the comedy to a whole different place. But that's what makes it so good! Just check out this video collection of five moments this year alone. The slow chant of "This is awesome" in moment two shows what a great thing this is. And I marked out like a school girl over moment four. They are coming to my area in May, and I cannot wait to check them out live.

Now Hit My Music!

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