Diva on Divas Week 4: Dot Net's resident diva on Total Divas - Body image becomes the central focus for The Bella Twins and The Funkadactyls, how much boob is too much, and more!
By Will Pruett
If you want to know how brave and dedicated I am, please realize I watched this show in the midst of wrestling overload. You can send candy to thank me.
I an odd way, this episode of Total Divas was the most inspirational one yet. We saw a man, a common man, rise up to greatness. We saw an low level WWE star most people wouldn't even approach in an airport suddenly become a main event wrestler in all of our hearts. Yes, I am discussing a lowly Uso brother breaking out and getting permission from his girlfriend (who will not commit to marrying him) to touch a total stranger's exposed breasts. I am deeply inspired by his journey. Way to go, one of the Uso brothers!
In all seriousness, this show seemed to be all about Diva body image, which was pretty interesting. We saw The Bella Twins argue about dieting and the need for it. We saw Ariane consider breast implants by wearing fake breasts in all of her clothes for a week. We saw Natalya attempt to feel sexy again for the sexual impulse lacking TJ (who plays Tyson Kidd in WWE). This show was about how women see themselves.
Brie Bella, the healthy and likable Bella, feels like she needs to "lose three pounds" from her already very small figure. Her loving and intelligent boyfriend "Daniel" Bryan Danielson says the right thing and assures her of the stupidity of this idea. Even though Danielson disputes her need for it, Brie goes ahead and begins a juice cleanse to drop weight for a "big SummerSlam photoshoot" she is preparing for.
On the other side of Twin Magic, Nikki Bella loves few things in life more than she loves alcohol and dessert. She doesn't want to eat healthy and she doesn't worry about three extra pounds when she is about to pose in a bikini. In a way, this actually made Nikki the more relatable Bella on this episode. She's fine with how she eats and how she looks. This, of course, causes conflict between them.
On the other side of the body image scale, Ariane feels like parts of her are too thin, so she begins considering breast augmentation. Nikki Bella, naturally, encourages her to go for it, but her partner Trinity is not having it. Trinity and Ariane go to a plastic surgeon and bring the Uso dating Trinity along. Ariane is given some false implants wear around to see if she likes them.
What followed was about 23 minutes of Ariane jumping up and down in various ways until one of her fake boobs was stolen. The culprit? Apparently Nikki Bella, who found it funny to send Ariane out on television with one fake boob on. Admittedly, it was a great prank. When Nikki confessed, somehow it went from a mean and catty tactic to a way to show Ariane that she is beautiful just the way she is.
The Bella Twins solved their conflict on location for their photoshoot by deciding they could be as thin or not thin as they want, especially considering they don't look identical anymore. It was touching to see women as thin as they were concerned about body image, but could it have done more harm than good? The Bella's look amazing and they're worried about their bodies. Does it tell women who may look less amazing to be more concerned? While the overall message was to look how you want and be healthy, was it really communicated well?
Picking up the pieces:
- The Natalya storyline kind of played into the body image story, but seemed more centered on the disintegration of Natalya and TJ's sex life while TJ has been recovering from surgery. TJ ignored Natalya approaching him in some pretty fantastic lingerie to watch wrestling. It was pretty awkward.
- TJ's response to Natalya's plea for romance was to drive her to the courthouse and offer to marry her right then. This was the opposite of what Natalya wanted and an actually hilarious moment. Men, you should probably watch this show an take notes on what TJ does, because he does almost everything wrong.
- Actually, if you're a man and want to see a parade of women in lingerie, this is probably the right episode of Total Divas to watch.
- I have a small dog, who I love passionately, and she is much cuter than the dog Ariane is now carrying around. It's like one bad choice after another with this woman.
Next week on Diva on Divas: things will get emotional with The Bella Twins and things will get all fighty with The Funkadactyls. The major question: how will this effect the Uso who got to touch random boobs?
You know what's great? When your feedback doesn't annoy me. Give it your best shot and feel free to email me at email@example.com or to follow me and interact on twitter at twitter.com/itswilltime. Basically, let's be best friends.
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