Diva on Divas Week 13: Dot Net's resident diva on Total Divas - The fear of show-mances threatens what was likely a show-mance, Brie Bella gets a Divas Championship slot

Posted in: Pruett's Blog, MUST-READ LISTING
Dec 20, 2013 - 02:15 PM

By Will Pruett

This article is up pretty late. It's alright though, I'm just trying to make Total Divas last longer. I'll miss it when it's gone.

As I may have mentioned in this blog series (or in my other editorials), I'm a theatre kid. For over ten years, I've been involved in theatre and production. In that time (and not super recently), I have been involved in my share of show-mances.

For the uninitiated, a show-mance is exactly what it sounds like. It is a show romance. It is a temporary and fleeting mix of love and lust that can only first occur in a fictional romance (like two characters scripted to fall in love) and then spill over into real life. Many an actor has found themselves in a show-mance. They rarely end well.

The WWE attempted to put Trinity in her own romantic storyline on this episode of Total Divas and John, the Uso she is dating, was not okay with it. He feared the show-mance. How could he not? Wrestling has a deep and troubled history consisting of show-mances ruining real life romances. For every harmless Trish Stratus and Chris Jericho story, there is a Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, who took the show home. Ask Chyna sometime how she feels about show-mances.

His jealousy inspired him to do something stupid (which is true of almost every man every time he has found himself consumed with jealousy). He went to management and attempted to get the story cancelled. Trinity was upset. Not all was well in the Funkadactyl-Uso romance land.

I'm not going to say whether show-mances can turn into real relationships. It's happened before, but since high school, I've seen them hurt people. None of mine ever really worked out well (although I was in a show with my wife shortly before we started dating, so maybe that was a delayed show-mance that worked out really well). The romance connection on-air for Trinity never came to fruition, as it was nixed anyways. Obviously, she has better this to do, like ditch an injured friend to dance with two other dudes.

Picking up the pieces:

- Someday I'll have to deal with the dilemma of whether to wear a one piece or a two piece on the cover of Jet Magazine. This show provided a nice guide on how to do so.

- Brie Bella was robbed. Okay, well, she wasn't robbed, but she totally should have won the Divas Championship. She is obviously the best.

- For real though, Brie Bella's improvement in the ring should be recognized.

- Was the dead lizard in the living room the producer's way of foreshadowing the eventual trauma Natalya and T.J. would go through?

- Maybe I'm just a wimp (okay, I'm definitely a wimp), but the scenes at the vet's got to me. I've had pets my whole life, which means I've dealt with them dying a time or two. It hurts my soul parts.

- Eva Marie, it's cool, sometimes my breasts end up with bruises after passionate love-making as well. Oh! It was a training injury? Oh...

- Gross. Farting.

- Once again, why do people on this show take brunch so lightly? Brunch is a big deal.

- The super colorful Bella outfits are silly.

- Who made Eva Marie a Bella? Is this just a way to get Nikki over by not letting her be the most annoying one?

- I'm not the kind of person who can just go buy a new kitten when my cat dies. I need time to process.

- Would it have killed Nattie and T.J. to rescue a kitten instead of buying a pet store cat? Seriously, people, it's the best thing to do.

Next week in Diva on Divas: THE PROPOSAL OF THE CENTURY!!!! And some other stuff...

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