1/23 Moore's TNA Impact Wrestling TV Report: Lashley and MVP street brawl, Feast or Fired, James Storm vs. Matt Hardy, Havok vs. Gail Kim, Jeremy Borash vs. EC3
By John Moore
TNA Impact Wrestling on Destination America
Taped January 7 in New York City at Manhattan Center
With "Megatron" by Crazy Town playing as the new intro theme. Josh Matthews opens Impact Wrestling with hype for the Feast or Fired which was one of the selling points of this show. This led to a instruction video which introduced the concept of Feast or Fired just in case this is your first time...
Johnny's Thoughts: I'm a fan of the intro theme and initial production for 2 reasons. 1) it isn't produced by Dixie's Husband and Dale Oliver. and 2) It kinda reminds me of when Paul Heyman's Smackdown was at it's Zenith production-wise in 2003 when Smackdown had a Rap Rock theme. this is also supported with Taz on commentary too.
Back in the ring, It looked like Impact Wrestling was actually going to start off with the Feast or Fired concept match. Gunner, the winner of the Heavyweight Championship briefcase was featured. Several other relevant wrestlers followed Gunner, which included Bram, Aeries, Magnus, and others. Hmmm... Bram still comes out with his Ascension Eye of Ra gear.
Johnny's Thoughts: For those of you who don't know. Feast or Fired is essentially the Money in the Bank Ladder Match times 4 with 3 briefcases having title shots and a 4th briefcase having a fired pink slip that TNA usually follows through with. The need for explanation reminds me of when Mike Tenay had to spend 5 minutes on every show explaining the latest Vince Russo or Jeff Jarrett concept match.
1. The Feast or Fired (Briefcases on a Pole) Match. Like most multi-man massacre matches, we got an all out cluster of humanity with everyone fighting each other with punches. Josh Matthews and Taz looked very lax and chillin' back at TNA headquarters. Back in the ring Robbie E went for a case, but he was twarted by his rival Crazy Steve. Crazy Steve went for a case next but was distracted by the booty and air kiss of Velvet Sky. Velvet Sky grabbed the first briefcase...oh gawd! I assumed that Robbie E is the legal owner of the case somehow.
Velvet Sky (w/ Robbie E) isolates the 1st briefcase in 1:14.
Now the camera focussed on Jesse Godderz battling with Rockstar spud. Lots of Bro Man love for some reason. Spud went for the 2nd case yet was stopped by Godderz. Spud tried again, but couldn't reach due to his height. Godderz continued to torment Spud. Spud managed to knock the Bro Mans and the Wolves out of the ring. Just as he settled Magnus tried to stop Spud's momentum, but Spud managed to clear Bram and Magnus from the ring too. As Spud went for his case he was dragged down by Samuel Shaw.
Samuel Shaw started tossing Spud around like a ragdoll. When Shaw was going for the case, he was crotched on the top rope by Gunner. Austin Aries dropkicked Gunner to send him to the ground. Spud threw Aries to the outside. Samuel Shaw, still frozen due to the crotching earlier, was used as a ladder by Rockstar Spud which led to him grabbing the 2nd briefcase of the match.
Rockstar Spud isolates the 2nd briefcase in 4:18
Spud sold his elation in a very comedic way as he ran out. DJ Z went for the next case but was dragged down by Aries, Aries was thrown out by Jessee Godderz. As Godderz was accepting a Angelina Love kiss. he was thrown out by the Wolves Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. As they were attempting to do a double suicide dive, they were stopped in their tracks by Angelina Love's booty this time. Are the trunks of the Beautiful People the most powerful competitors in this match?
DJ Z tried to take advantage of the Wolves not being able to handle the behind of Love, but he was tossed over love into the sea of wrestlers on the outside. Back in the ring, Austin Aries manages to take advantage of the distracted Wolves. Aries teased a suicide dive, but actually ran for the next briefcase. He managed to do a Suicide dive anyway with the briefcase in hand.
Austin Aries isolates the 3rd briefcase in 5:50
Back in the ring, Bram and Gunner started battling it out. Gunner hit a flying clotheline on Bram. As he went for the last case, Bram dragged the man down to the ground. Bram started moving to the next case but was grabbed in the trunks by Gunner. Gunner attempted to fallaway slam Bram from the 2nd rope, only to have Magnus run in to turn it into a Tower of Doom powerbomb. Magnus was the only fresh man in the ring as he grabbed the last briefcase.
Robbie E, Rockstar Spud, Austin Aries, and Magnus win the Feast or Fired match in 7:55.
Bram was shown in the ring raging, he sold being betrayed by his partner Magnus. Backstage Bobby Lashley was trudging on the stairs running into an unseen interviewer. Lashley said he was going to the ring to get his title back as we head to break. [C]
Johnny's Thoughts: Several things. This match wasn't very good in my opinion and could have been taken more seriously. Josh and Taz looked like they were chillin' a bit too much in their inset video. The match also featured the Bro Mans and Beautiful People's behinds a bit too much. They kinda got it right with Spud looking strong, but I didn't like them focusing on his height as a detriment. Read my calling of the match, it's exactly as I say it even if it sounds dumb at points. Vintage TNA...
Back from the break, Josh Mathews congratulated 3 of the winners while being sad for the one fired person. Taz said someone is getting fired tonight.
Johnny's Thoughts: I am intrigued at the Feast or Fired possibilities though.
Magnus was interviewed about his briefcase. He said he liked lucky number 3. Bram came in very angry at Magnus. Magnus said he helped Bram by getting him a job in the company. Bram just kept yelling angerly. Back in the arena, Bobby Lashley headed to the ring sporting one of those x shaped bandage configurations that you usually see in the cartoons on his noggin'. Oh my, is this going to be one of "those" classic impact shows?
Taz reminded us that Bobby Lashley received a Beatdown by the Beatdown Clan last week. Josh Matthews told us he just received an immediate video from the producers about MVP's Beatdown Clan as we head to an BDC Video package, which recapped the main event segment where Lashley got Beat Down by the Clan last week.
Lashley paced in the ring with his famous one facial expression. He said "Give me my Title....Now!". MVP's music started playing, but with Kenny King coming out instead. King told Lashley that he couldn't make it in the BDC because he was ungrateful and unappreciative. King said he was going to teach Lashley a lesson, that he had help from his Family, the BDC. Lashley is not a part of the family anymore. King put over Low Ki, Samoa Joe, MVP, and himself as potential World Champions.
Lashley, in the famous 2006 Lashley facial expression, said "Give me my title." Kenny King said he wants a fight, so he called for a Referee. Kenny King said he didn't want the support of the fans though. He asked for the Beat Down Clan to come out to support him. The BDC came out with the World Heavyweight Title draped on himself.
Johnny's Thoughts: I was afraid of something like this with Bobby Lashley being separated from MVP. Lashley benefited greatly with a heel mouthpiece, and a talented one at that. Now, we see that he hasn't learned a new facial expression since his first WWE match.
MVP posed as the TNA Champ as he headed out. Taz and Matthews are shown in their lair reacting to the the events.
2. Bobby Lashley vs. Kenny King in a non-title match. Earl Hebner headed to the ring to make this official. Kenny King tried to get the jump on Lashley, but got hit with a forearm. Kenny King came back with a dropkick and started to lay punches in the corner. Kenny King started mouthing out the crowd. Josh Matthews said that the BDC haven't lost a match ever (even though it's only been one week).
Kenny King tried to go for the flying crossbody, but was caught by Lashley where he preceded to gorilla press King over the top rope onto MVP and Samoa Joe. Back in the ring, Bobby Lashley hit Kenny King with a delayed vertical suplex. Bobby Lashley picked king up and started working him with punches in the corner. He then tossed king in the middle of the ring. Bobby Lashley attempted a reverse slam, but was reversed by King King then hit a spinning kick to the back of Lashley's head.
Kenny King tried to springboard on Lashley, but was sidestepped. Lashley then hit Kenny King with an awkward looking spear takedown. Lashley went for the pin but MVP and the BDC came in to cause the Disqualification.
Bobby Lashley beat Kenny King via DQ in 2:29.
MVP grabbed the mic after the beatdown with Low Ki and Samoa Joe holding the injured champ up. MVP said Lashley didn't earn the title, He said that the fans didn't deserve the confrontation, and that Lashley would have to meet MVP in the streets to "earn" his title back. Josh Matthews said that this was "Boarderline ridiculous".
Josh Matthews told us we will find out the Feast or Fired results tonight and hyped that Havok was going to be in action against Gail Kim after the break. [C]
Johnny's Thoughts: Ok... A lot of things wrong here. For one, MVP is logically right in that Lashley did win with their help, the problem is Lashley doesn't have the promo chops to come back with logic in his favor. Also, with MVP being KO'd during a large portion of the match, if Lashley wanted the belt back so bad, why didn't he pick it up when the title was just sitting there on the floor. he could have gave it to a timekeeper or something...ughhh... Yes... This is one of those Impacts. Vintage TNA Logic is Back Ba-bah! [crying laugh]... Impact actually was decent last week, and now... eh...
Back to the show, the events in the previous match were recapped with MVP still having the World Title in his possession. Lashey is shown backstage selling the beatdown pains. Josh introduced us to an Awesome Kong introduction video which highlighted her legendary past with the company. Very well produced video.
Back to the ring, Havok and Gail King head to the ring for their match.
3. Gail Kim vs. Havok. Josh Matthew did note that Havok was never pinned to lose her title since it was a Triple Threat where she lost the strap. Gail Kim didn't waste any time and had the early advantage throwing Havok into the guardrail. Gail Kim dazed Havok and hit a flying crossbody on the outside. Gail Kim brought Havok back and hit a crossbody pin for the two count. Gail Kim tried to hit a crossbody on the turnbuckle but Havok caught Kim to turn the match in her favor.
Havok stomped on Kim in the corner. Havok hit a jumping clotheline on Gail Kim in the corner. She then smashed Kim on the 2nd rope. Havok grabbed her cape and started choking Kim. The Ref yelled at Havok to stop, and the ref put the cape in one of the corners.
Havok was still dominating hitting kicks on Gail Kim. Havok hit a Bear Hug Slam on kim for near fall. Havok continues the attack on a grounded Kim. In the corner Havok lays in some punches. Gail Kim tries to mount a comeback, but Havok managed to hit a running knee lift to the face of Gail Kim. Gail Kim was selling the facial pain on the edge of the ring. Havok went in agressive mode attack the writhing Havok. Havok and the Ref got into a verbal dispute. Havok pushed the Referee for the DQ.
Gail Kim beat Havok via DQ in 4:33.
Havok had Kim in the Electric Chair position and front tossed her to the ring bell. Havok then got into it with the ref again. The crowd is chanting Kong... Kong... Kong... As Havok went for the Chokeslam on Gail, the lights went out. When the lights came back, Awesome Kong was in the ring. Havok and Kong started jawing face-to-face. Havok went for the first punch, but Kong stood strong. Kong then threw Havok over the top rope. The segment concluded with Kong standing tall in the ring with her music playing. Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode are having a tag match with Eric Young and Low Ki as Josh Matthews takes us to break [C]
Johnny's Thoughts: Even though it baffles me that Havok wasn't disqualified for using a weapon right in front of the ref earlier; and I'm not sure why the referee was spotlighted so much... I guess this just adds to the return of classic TNA booking and logic I suppose. Let's look at the siver lining, Havok looked good and dominant in the limited time against Kim and Kim sold well to her. It has me hopeful of a possible feud or match between the two after this Kong feud concludes. Awesome Kong is also made to look like a legendary figure on the show, which can only help Havok as they will collide soon enough.
Josh Matthews recaps EC3 asking Big John Gaburick politely if he can take over on production with Big leaving the room nonchalantly letting Carter taunt Jeremy Borash on the headsets. That segment ended with Borash agreeing to a match with EC3 on this week's Impact. An amateurish bumper card of Ethan Carter riding JB's back hyping their match is tonight on Friday Night Impact
4. Tigre Uno vs. Khoya (w/The Revolution). Josh Matthews told us Khoya had another name, but he was rebranded by James Storm when he joind The Revolution. Tigre Uno starts off with kicks which don't take down the big Khoya. James Storm slapped Khoya for motivation. Khoya caught Tigre Uno midair for the fallaway slam.
Khoya tried to hit Tigre Uno with a corner splash but was hit with an Uno Drop Kick. Khoya didn't hit the mat and hit Tigre Uno with the spinning sitout spinebuster for the win.
Khoya beat Tigre Uno in 1:04.
James Storm grabbed the mic and started to call out Matt Hardy bring up Hardy's past demons. He said that he was deadlier than any pill or drink that Hardy has had. Storm said that his group had room for "1 more" which probably means he is trying to recruit Matt to the Revolution.
Johnny's Thoughts: Khoya is Mahabali Shera, the final Ring Ka King champion from Jeff Jarrett's side promotion that was used as a vehicle to get him some exposure, and he looked impressive there. Here's hoping that he gets a good shot in the "New" TNA. The problem I have with the Revolution aside from it being a Wyatt Family ripoff, is theres too many angles in the group right now. They're the tag team champs, with abyss joining for some reason, Khoya is their new upstart, Abyss is in the group for some reason, Manik and Sanada both like blue hoodies, The Hardy's have a tag shot, and now Storm is recruiting Matt Hardy? Okay....
In the backstage hidden cam Angle and Roode are shown prepping in the locker room. Bobby Rood said he didn't care about the tag match. He said he wanted Young 1 on 1. Angle said that he's tired of MVP's clan. Roode then got angry and said his best friend betrayed him. Angle said he had a plan to bring order back to TNA in the trenches by becoming a wrestler again, he then exited the room. The tag match is promoted as we head to commercial. [C]
Back from commercial... While Taz was somewhere taking notes for later matches, Matthews started promoting the tag match later in the show. The Young betrayal was recapped again. He also recapped the Feast or Fired match, with one person being fired later tonight.
Backstage, Rockstar Spud is interviewed where he showed emotion saying that this could be the biggest thing in his career. He said that if he got fired, it can still be positive in that he can beat up EC3. We are shown the Feast or Fired instruction video for like the 5 time tonight. Christie Hemme is shown in the creative boardroom and they said that she would be moderating the briefcase openings.
Back to the ring, we are getting the tag match that Roode and Angle have been preparing for. Josh Matthews said that Eric Young wasn't a full member of the BDC, whatever that means. Kurt Angle heads out. Bobby Roode is still "Off the Chain" and "It'll never be the same".
Johnny's Thoughts: Again! Constipation... Don't let Serg and Dale do music in TNA...!
5. Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode vs. Low Ki and Eric young in a Tag-Team match. Kurt Angle and Low Ki start the match with counters. Kurt Angle hit the clotheline. Bobby Roode got tagged in and got hit by combinations from both men. Low Ki kicks out of a pin attempt. Low Ki managed to turn the tables and got Young tagged in.
Roode gained the advantage with chops to the corner. Eric Young then got backdroped. As Roode had young in the fireman carry, Low Ki came in with a kick. Eric young hit the DDT for the 2 count. Low Ki was tagged in where Low Ki worked Roode in the corner with a loud chop and punches. Roode kicked out of another pin.
Eric Young is tagged in and mounts his version of the corner offense. Eric young hit a body slam on Bobby Roode all while playing to the crowd for heat. Eric Young went to the top rope, but Roode came back with a superplex. Both men made the tag where Angle gets the advantage. Kurt Angle hits german suplexes on both Young and the legal man Low Ki. As Angle went for the Ankle Lock on Ki. Young kicked Angle knocking him out. Bobby Roode cleaned house and locked in a crossface on Low Ki. (Isn't Angle the legal man? huh?) The BDC then make Angle look like an idiot. Eric Young hits the running chair elbow drop on Bobby Roode. and Low Ki gets the pin... mmmmmm... wasn't Angle the legal man?
Low Ki and Eric Young Beat Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode via pinfall in 5:10.
Johnny's Apathy: Yup... TNA Logic...
Kurt Angle looked as confused as Josh Matthews sounded with the situation. The Jeremy Borash EC3 piggyback photo was shown as we head to break.
Johnny's Apathy: I'm really trying here to write about this show as I see it, but you can only see the same screwy creative so many times before having apathy for this show. Now I know how Will Pruett and Chris Shore felt covering "those" Impact shows. And I was actually impressed last week throughout. We couldn't at least get a repitition of last week's booking?
Back to Impact, MVP is shown "in the streets" of New York, awaiting a response from Bobby Lashley. MVP promised that the BDC won't be around.
Josh Matthews hyped Feast or Fired yet again. A video package highlighting the feud between Rockstar Spud and Ethan Carter III. Ethan Carter headed to the ring accompanied by Tyrus for his upcoming match with Jeremy Borash. He had hairclippers in his hand.
Ethan Carter took over for ring introductions since Jeremy Borash wasn't available to do them. Jeremy Borash headed to the ring in a Impact Wrestling t-shirt and Destination America hoodie. Taz went into chummy mode saying he wants the DA hoodie.
6. Ethan Carter III (w/Tyrus) vs. Jeremy Borash (w/ Rockstar Spud). Ethan Carter politely asked Taz and Matthews to stop talking so he can take over on commentary. As Carter was taunting JB. JB grabbed Ethan Carter and Started actually havint the beatdown advantage over EC3. At least the strikes looked better than super Shane McMahon. EC3 regained the advantage. Carter taunted Rockstar Spud and spud attacked Carter for the not (huh?) DQ. The British Bootcamp guy ran in to try to save Spud but was thrown out. Mark Andrews came back with a springboard dropkick. Rockstar Spud hit the top rope senton while Andrews hit the shooting star press on Tyrus. EC3 retreated.
Ethan Carter III vs. Jeremy Borash ended in a no-contest.
At TNA headquarters Taz and Matthews recap Jeremy Borash surviving...
Johnny's Thoughts: This wasn't too bad, aside from TNA logic regarding disqualifications coming into play again tonight. Matthews and Spud stood tall in the end but did anyone gain anything from this segment?
Taz says he's hungry, as we head to break... [C]
7. James Storm vs. Matt Hardy. The two men lock up in the ring. Matt starts off with punches on Storm carrying him to the corners. Matt hits several splashes on James Storm. Hardy goes for the quick Twist of Fate but he escaped to the outside. Hardy hit the baseball slide on James storm on the outside. Matt Hardy hit the hip toss on Storm on the outside.
Josh Matthews attempts to explain the lack of consistent finishes that happened this night by saying that the officials "let them play a little bit more" and Taz dissed other refs by saying that they micromanage too much.
Johnny's Apathy: well... at least TNA is aware of themselves... Taz's comments sounded a bit Dixie Carter-ish in its defensiveness that tends to insult the intelligence of the audience.
Back to the action Matt Hardy starts smashing Hardy's headon a table outside. Hardy then hit a flying bionic elbow. Hardy attempted a pin for the kickout. Matt laid in the headlock. Storm comes back with the backcracker to Matt Hardy from the 2nd rope. Storm continued to dominant. Storm hit some punches on Hardy. Matt tried to come back but Storm hit raked the eyes. Hardy managed to get the Side Effect though for the near-fall.
The two men show their fatigue trading lumbering punches. Matt Hardy tried to bodyslam James Storm but Storm managed to hit the codebreaker on Hardy. Storm tried to hit the Last Call Superkick but missed. Matt Hardy couldn't connect with the Twist of Fate. Storm tried to hit the crucifix powerbomb, but Hardy snuck in an inside cradle for the win
Matt Hardy beat James Storm via pinfall in 5:07.
James Storm went for the handshake after the match, but Hardy refused. This was a trap for Abyss to ambush Matt Hardy from behind. Abyss threatened to hit Matt Hardy with the Janice nail-bat, Hardy took out Janice with the chair and hit the Twist of Fate on Abyss to save his brother. Jeff came in the ring to try to start a Monsters Ball match, hyping his singles match with Abyss next week.
Backstage, Christy Hemme prepped the Feast or Fired winners for their case openings which will happen after the break. [C]
Johnny's Thoughts: Standard ok TV Match. Standard post-match angle. But let me give TNA credit for once, James Storm vs. Matt Hardy might have been the most straightforward storyline forwarded tonight and the match they had contained the minimal amount of BS.
MVP is pacing "in the streets", Samoa Joe confronted MVP saying that this didn't make sense. MVP dismissed Joe and told him not to bring the BDC out.
At TNA headquarters we were treated to the revelations of the Feast or Fired briefcases. Robbie E said he was confident in his case in 100% Bro Man mode with selfie stick and all. The first case was Spud's #4. Spud was aprehensive selling the fact that their might be a pink slip in it. Spud's case had the X Division Title Shot. Magnus's case #3 had the Tag Title Shot. To drag this segment out, Christie Hemme left the last two cases in a cliffhanger.[C]
Johnny's Apathy: Oh goody...And I was actually hopeful for this concept at one point.
Back in the room, Austin Aries was confident, while Robbie E was nervous. Robbie didn't want to risk being fired so he said what I happened to call earlier and that Velvet Sky was the one that actually grabbed the case.
Johnny's Apathy: Well... Did that mean that Adam Rose's bunny could have ran out and grab the prize in a match he wasn't a part of?
Robbie E pushed Velvet Sky in his place. Velvet Sky had the pink slip. TNA logic strikes again. Robbie E acted like a Bro Man. Robbie E acted like a Bro Man. Austin Aries has yet another world title Shot.
Johnny's Thought: Ok... that taught me a lesson at hoping TNA would do something different. On a side note. TNA's fired pinkslip usually means an actual write-off so I'm wondering if Velvet is actually done with the company. And As same-y as Aries with a World Title Shot is, at least a good match can come out of it.
Outside "in the streets" Bobby Lashley confronts MVP. Lashley gets the early advantage with clubs to the back. As Lashley took off his jacket, MVP came back wtih punches of his own. MVP hit Lashley with a plastic trash can. Lashley took the battle to the inside of the arena lobby. The two men work some MMA ground work with Lashley ending up on top. As Lashley tried to continue the assault Low Ki and Joe interfere in the confrontation. Eric Young and Kenny King were there too. Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode save lashley with line dividers. Roode grabbed the world championship and stared at Lashley as the show closed. Next week on Impact, Monster's Ball was hyped.
Johnny's Thoughts: Well, did Lashley get his title back? This might have been the worst Impact in a LONG while. I'm not going to complain any further. I actually came into this Impact hopeful. Last week's show was actually pretty good.
On a side note, throughout the night, Josh Matthews was in Al Bundy couchlock mode in the studio so he has to improve at that. The ending segment didn't seem to serve a real purpose and the storylines are coming off as real confusing. I don't wanna jinx things but Friday Night Impact can't get any worse next week right? Jeff Hardy's in action, so expect a creative match next week.
I'm looking forward to hearing what Dot Net staffer Hayden Gleed's point of view on this show is going to be. Heck, I might just be seeing this all wrong. Check out his TV review on the main page and I'll do the same. Thank you for being supporters of Prowrestling.net. Have a nice day!
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