By Jason Powell
Check back tonight for my live coverage review of TNA Sacrifice at 7:00 p.m. CT. CT. Dot Net Members can look forward to an exclusive audio review after the show. Become a Dot Net Member today by signing up via the Dot Net Members' Signup Page.
Eric Young vs. Magnus for the TNA Title: TNA has a babyface champion so there's at least a chance that the main event doesn't end in stupidity. However, Abyss is still lingering out there in need of a friend and a sense of belonging, as he put it. I don't think TNA creative can get through this without an Abyss run-in. Is Abyss once again a babyface just weeks after turning heel? Is it all a swerve and he and Magnus are actually on the same team? I don't know and I honestly don't care about the tired Abyss character, yet I just assume he gets involved here somehow. Young just won the title and I don't see why they would take it off him here and do even more damage to the title by playing hot potato with it.
Eric Young retains the TNA Title.
Willow and Kurt Angle vs. Ethan Carter III and Rockstar Spud: If you've been watching Impact, then you are probably asking yourselves why they need to have a tag team match when Willow beat EC3 and Spud in a handicap match on television within the last couple weeks. If you're watching Impact and you're not asking that question, then I hope you enjoy the Willow umbrella that you purchased for $40. TNA is building to an Angle vs. EC3 match. They could easily have Spud lose the match, but I'll make this my upset special just for the hell of it.
EC3 and Rockstar Spud pull off the upset and win by DQ when Willow freaks out, inserts the umbrella into Spud's rectum, and opens the umbrella. TNA then sells that umbrella for $80. No?
Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray in a tables match: The tables match is Bully Ray's speciality match. However, I get the feeling that they're just getting started with Ray vs. Roode. The tables match format gives Roode a chance to beat Ray without actually pinning him. I don't have tremendous confidence in this pick, but I'll take a shot in the dark.
Bobby Roode beats Bully Ray.
Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love for the TNA Knockouts Title: Madison may not want to be a member of the Beautiful People, but she showed she still has some of the Beautiful People left in her when she treated newcomer Brittany like crap for no reason. I don't think it was meant to come off like the babyface champion is bitchy, but it definitely did. Go figure. My guess is that snub comes back to haunt her when Brittany turns on her and assumes her former role as the third member of The Beautiful People.
Angelina Love wins the TNA Knockouts Title.
Sanada vs. Tigre Uno in the third match for their best of three series for the X Division Title: One guy gets video packages. The other guy has a mask with fangs. Go with the guy who gets the video packages.
Sanada retains the X Division Title.
James Storm vs. Gunner in an I Quit match: Will they pull the old trick of having the heel somehow play a sound byte of the babyface saying I Quit? Will Storm get his hands on Gunner's father and threaten bodily harm unless Gunner quits? If neither one of those scenarios plays out, then go with Gunner.
Marines never quit.
Mr. Anderson vs. Sam Shaw in a "committed match": Apparently TNA has found a mental institution that has agreed to commit the loser of a pro wrestling match. It appears that this is essentially an ambulance match only with a van that will transport the loser to the mental hospital. Here's hoping there is room for Dixie Carter and the entire TNA creative staff.
Mr. Anderson wins, we all lose with some embarrassingly bad Impact footage of Shaw in the mental hospital.
Robbie E and Jessie and DJ Z vs. The Wolves in handicap match for the TNA Tag Titles: So after weeks of shitty DQ finishes, the big payoff for the Wolves is a handicap match for the tag titles. If only they were brought in by the guy in charge of wrestling operations who could prevent Z from being at ringside and create the stipulation that BroMans would drop the titles to the Wolves if they are disqualified or counted out. Anyway, I assume The Wolves win the tag titles here or on Impact this week.
The Wolves win the TNA Tag Titles.
Boldest Prediction of All: Knux's girlfriend will show up and dance with fire for no reason. In the process, she will accidentally burn down Universal Studios. Taz will crack that it's the hottest TNA pay-per-view ever before running for the emergency exit.