Smackdown on MyNetwork TV
Taped on 12/29/08 in East Rutherford, N.J.

[Q1] The show opened with Jim Ross talking about the report that Jeff Hardy was involved in a hit and run accident at his home in NC. A picture showed the story on WWE.com. JR promised more updates later…

Shore’s Slant: Nobody freak, this is a work.

The opening video aired, but no pyro, and JR reminded us that Triple H is in the triple jeopardy gauntlet tonight. Justin Roberts introduced the first match as Triple H’s table match. During Hunter’s entrance, a short video aired recapping Hunter outing Vickie’s nude photos. I think I threw up in my mouth again…

1. Triple H defeated John Morrison in a Tables Match at 4:23. Morrison attacked quickly and had control until Hunter spilled him to the outside. Hunter set up a table and tried to suplex Morrison on it from the steps. Morrison countered and dropped Hunter on his face. Back in the ring, a table was set up in the corner. Both men teased throwing the other into it before Morrison hit a springboard kick onto Hunter. Hunter tried to toss Morrison over the rope onto a table but Morrison landed on his feet on the apron.

Morrison slid back into the ring under Hunter’s legs and came off the ropes but was met with the Double A Spinebuster. Hunter set up another table in the ring and set Morrison on the top turnbuckle and tried to superplex Morrison onto it, but Morrison fought out and Triple H fell on the table. Morrison tried to jump from the top onto Hunter, but Hunter recovered and tossed Morrioson onto the table on the outside for the win. Post match, The Miz distracted Hunter while Chavo ran in and drove him through the table setup in the corner. Hunter will be facing The Miz and Chavo Guerrero in his handicap match later…The announce team hyped Shelton Benjamin vs The Undertaker next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: So-so table match. I hate gimmick matches on free TV. They always leave something to be desired. Kind of like a $50 whore. It gets the job done, but…eh, it wasn’t as exciting as it should have been.

Back from commercial and Triple H was shown gimping around backstage. He saw Vickie and came up to him and taunted the fact that he still had two matches left…

[Q2] Shelton Benjamin was already in the ring. Justin Roberts announced him and then Hell’s Bells went off. Wow, Shelton is the champ and had to take a huge backseat to Taker. Ouch…

2. Undertaker defeated Shelton Benjamin at12:34. Shelton started off luring Taker into the corners, ducking his punch and retaliating. He did this three times until Taker grabbed him by the throat, threw him into the corner, and the beat down began. Taker worked on Benjamin’s arm before hitting Old School at 2:18. Taker clotheslined Benjamin over the top rope…[C]

Back at 5:27, Taker was still in control. JR told us that Taker had used the ring post on Benjamin during the break. Taker dropped Benjamin for Snake Eyes but missed the big boot. Benjamin spun and chop blocked Taker. Taker sold the leg injury and Benjamin attacked it, even slamming the leg against the ring post. Taker fought back and teased a choke slam but Benjamin kicked the leg and went back to working on the leg. Benjamin had the leg laid out on the bottom rope and Taker used the other leg to kick Benjamin over the top rope.

Taker followed to the outside, slamming Benjamin into the rail and the nailing the apron leg drop. Back in the ring, Benjamin again kicked the leg and took control. He had Taker in the corner and climbed to the second rope for the ten punches bit. Taker picked him up for a last ride, but Benjamin slipped down Taker’s back and reversed into a DDT for a two count.

[Q3] Benjamin setup Taker in the corner and hit a Stinger Splash. He went for a second, but was caught and choke slammed for a two count. Taker tossed Benjamin into the corner. Benjamin grabbed the ropes and kicked his feet up, but Taker slipped underneath to catch him in a tombstone setup. Taker did his tongue out pin for the win…Tazz hyped the footage from the police cruiser at Hardy’s accident as next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Solid match from these two. Benjamin doesn’t look all that weak in the ring, and Taker builds momentum for the Rumble. I can see now that the Hardy angle is going to irritate the shit out of me. Lovely.

Back from commercial, JR explained that Hardy was in a hit and run accident last night. They showed what was supposed to be the footage of a cop pulling up on Hardy and a woman with a car in a ditch. The cop asked what happened and Jeff said a car came up behind them and pushed him off the road. The cop asked him his name. Funny. They went back to the cop car (out of frame) to “collect information.”

The next video was Tazz asking Edge about the accident. Edge said it seemed that Hardy’s bad luck from last year was continuing and he was keeping Hardy and his girlfriend in his prayers…The Bella twins were shown heading to the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Yeah. That was stupid.

Back from commercial, Michelle McCool’s music hit and she came out, with Victoria, to decent heat. Nice to see the fans care…

[Q4]3. The Bella Twins defeated Michelle McCool and Victoria at 3:22. Brie and McCool started out. McCool hip tossed Brie and then did like five pushups to show off. Brie promptly clotheslined her. Brie hit several moves before McCool took control and tagged in Victoria who hit a front flip leg drop over the top rope. Victoria beat down Brie and then set her up near the corner. Victoria climbed to the top and missed a moonsault. Brie tagged in Not Brie and she covered for three and the win. Post match, the twins celebrated and McCool went Sybil on Victoria. She finished the beating off with a piledriver into flapjack move…Triple H was shown heading back to the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: My wife has figured out how to tell the twins apart. Brie has a tattoo and Not Brie…well…does not. That’s why she’s Not Brie. I have to admit, Michelle McCool has made me care about her more than for the three minutes I’m alone in the bathroom. I mean, I think a lot in the bathroom. You know? I’m just sayin.

Back from commercial and Triple H did an abbreviated entrance. The Miz came out next, followed by Chavo. This ought to suck nicely…

4. Triple H defeated Chavo Guerrero and The Miz at 4:18. Miz started off, took a hip toss, and promptly tagged out. Chavo through Triple H into his corner. Miz grabbed him from behind. Chavo went for a spear but Hunter moved, sending him into the ring post. Miz tagged back in. He faced off with Hunter and Chavo blindsided him.

[Q5]The heels beat on Hunter, tagging in and out frequently. Chavo missed a frogsplash but tagged out quickly. Miz in was promptly beat down with a face buster, neckbreaker, and spinebuster. Miz managed to break away and went for a tag but Chavo dropped down and backed away. Miz turned around into a Pedigree for a Triple H win. Post match, Vickie came on the screen and said the Last Man Standing match would be against the Big Show…Tazz continued to hype more info from Hardy’s accident…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Another Smackdown where Triple H is God and the rest of you will bow before him. Ugh.

A video package aired of Vladimir Kozlov training with him talking over it. I didn’t understand much…In the ring, MVP was setup for the VIP Lounge. MVP did all his lines all depressed and then introduced his guest, Mr. Kennedy (Kennedy). Kennedy came down and got in the ring. MVP pointed to the mic. Kennedy started to grab it and then stop, stuck his hand up, and caught the old tyme microphone.

Kennedy said that MVP wasn’t mad at him, he was mad at himself for losing. He said he used MVP’s losses to plug his movie (available now wherever DVDs are sold) and maybe make him feel better for being a loser. MVP went off on him and then a bunch of guys got in the ring and started taking the set apart. MVP asked a guy what was going on and he said they were repossessing his furniture. Kennedy said things could always be worse and then left.

The Boogeyman’s music hit and he came out from under the ring. He jumped in the ring and pumphandle slammed MVP. He got his worms out, but MVP rolled out to ringside, looking scared. Boogey shoved the worms in his own mouth and I made myself think about Vickie naked…The announce team hyped The Brian Kendrick and Zeke fighting for the tag titles next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: I refuse to comment on any more MVP promos, videos, or matches until WWE gets their heads out of their asses and end this stupid storyline. Whatever the payoff is, it better be good.

[Q6] The Raw Rebound video played. It covered the protest filed by Randy Orton and Chris Jericho, including video from the fatal fourway from two weeks ago. Highlights of the HBK and Cena pairing were shown. No mention was made of Vince returning…

5. Carlito and Primo Colon defeated The Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson to retain the World Tag Team Championship at 6:07. Primo and Zeke started out. Zeke bitched slapped him and he tagged in Carlito. Carlito got crushed as well, so both men attacked at the same time, finally bringing Zeke down. Carlito got a one count and Zeke drove him into the corner and tagged in TBK. TBK worked on Carlito for a moment but was overpowered. Carlito tagged in Primo, who was slapped by TBK. He chased TBK out and around the ring before both men slipped back in. TBK tagged in Zeke as he did and he attacked Carlito from behind.

Zeke worked on Carlito like he was a sausage biscuit with power move after power move. TBK called for the tag and lost control almost immediately. Primo got the hot tag and Carlito hit several moves on TBK before trying a cover. Zeke made the save and Primo attacked him. Both of them ended up tumbling to the outside as TBK pushed Carlito into Primo, butting heads and rolling up Carlito for the closest two count I have ever seen. Carlito kicked out and popped up to nail the backstabber for the win….Tazz once again promised more infor on Hardy’s wreck…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Well color me surprised, I had Zeke and TBK winning that one. I guess it really doesn’t matter as tag belts are bottom rung titles in WWE. Fun match, maybe the best of the night.

[Q7] Back from commercial and JR introduced cell phone footage of the Hardy accident. In the first movie, you see the cop look to his right and tell a guy to back off. Apparently, that guy had a cell phone and it was basically the same footage from a different angle...

Another video showed prerecorded comments from Jeff, explaining that he was pushed off the road from a car from behind as he left a party with his girlfriend. He said he wouldn’t be at Smackdown this week, but he would be back next week and would be at the Rumble to defend his title…Big Show made his entrance…[C]

Shore’s Slant: I just got a call from an inside source who assures me he knows who pushed Jeff off the road. He says it’s not a returning Christian Cage, but a crazed Marvin Hermanstyne. Hey, I don’t make this stuff up, I just report it.

A video aired recapping Triple H’s first two matches. Hunter came out looking pissed but spent. Wow, he can look beatable…

6. The Big Show defeated Triple H in a Last Man Standing match at 16:25. Show started on the left arm injury that Hunter has been selling since Chavo put him through a table. Hunter managed to get a few shots in before Show tossed him over the ropes. Hunter answered the count at five. He tried to get back in the ring, but Show bent him backwards over the top rope and chopped him back into the ring…[C]

[Q8] Back from commercial at the 5:35 mark and Show was still beating on Hunter. He picked him up by his left arm a few times and then just started hitting body shots. Hunter finally fell down, but Hunter rolled out onto his feet at seven. Show followed and Hunter hit a few shots before Show through him into the steps. Hunter was up at eight. He managed to drop Show’s throat on the top rope and hit a few blows before Show knocked him down again at 9:08. Hunter was back up at eight.

Show put Hunter in the corner and started to wail on him again. Hunter hit a DDT reversal that sent both men down and back up at eight again. They fought and then Show actually speared Triple H like Edge would. Hunter back at eight again. Show dropped him again and the crowd woke up. Hunter got back to his feet at nine. He got three headbutts and then backed in the corner and told Show to bring it on. Show hit him with three more headbutts. Hunter gave him the DX crotch chop. Show ran in and Hunter moved. He bounced off and Hunter nailed a Pedigree at 12:02, but Show was up at nine.

Show threw several wild punches but missed and seemed to tire. Hunter nailed a facebuster and teased another Pedigree, but Show picked him up and hit a Celtic Cross type move. Hunter was up at nine but fell through the ropes. Show followed and was driven into the ring post. He was up at nine. Hunter went back to ringside and was chokeslammed onto the announce table. He was up at 9½. Show looked frustrated, but climbed out of the ring and stood behind Hunter. Hunter turned around into a knockout punch and never moved as the ref counted to ten. Show walked back up the ramp were Vickie Guerrero met him, looking satisfied. A clearly overdubbed Tazz closed the show with the line: “I think it’s safe to say, that our General Manager got some serious payback.” Vickie looked smug as Triple H started to stir…

Shore’s Slant: About what I expected from these two on free TV. Not terrible, but not all that good either. I’m still waiting for the sledgehammer to come out. I have to say, I am truly stunned that it never made an appearance. This was a weird show in that it was wrestling heavy, but still annoyed me. Taker/Benjamin was fun, as was the Tag Title match. The main event was OK, but I was tired of Triple H by then. Let’s recap: he ate a table, a couple of stair shots, went through four guys, and still took 16 minutes to be put down. Where does he hide the big ass “S”? The road to the Royal Rumble continues next week. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you then.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

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