Smackdown on MyNetwork TV
Taped on 10/28/08 in San Diego, Calif.

[Q1] A video aired hyping the casket match itself. Big Show appeared rubbing his throat and called out Taker for using the “banned” submission hold. He said if their paths crossed again, he was going to bury Taker. He walked away leaving us with Vickie and Chavo. She said she had many tricks and treats for us tonight. She said she knew tonight would be the Undertaker’s last night. She said tonight, Taker would know what it was like to be locked in a casket. She sold how terrible it will be for him to be locked in. Chavo and she shared a laugh. She said the man who gets the honor of doing this to the Undertaker is Chavo Guerrero. Chavo didn’t look happy. He left and Vickie said “Happy Holloween,” and then exploded into hysterical laughter…

The opening montage played, followed by the pyro, and Jim Ross and Tazz welcomed us to Smackdown. They showed the crowd all dressed up and then, Holy God, then JR and Tazz dressed up. They hyped the Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, and Rey Mysteiro vs. Mark Henry, Kane, and MVP match for later.

Shore’s Slant: Tazz looks cool in fatigues. JR looks like Beatle Baily and The Skipper had a love child.

1. The Miz and John Morrison defeated Carlito and Primo at 11:03. Morrison and Primo started out. JR said Pat Patterson had asked him to the prom, said he thought JR was one of the Village People. Primo had a couple of quick near falls before tagging in Carlito. Carlito promptly lost control to the heels. Primo came back in to aid his brother and the two cleaned the ring of the heels going into the break…[C]

Back from commercial at the 6:20 mark led to a double-team on The Miz and a two count. Carlito body slammed Morrison and then powered bombed Primo on him. Morrison fought back after kicking out at two and he and Miz worked on Primo. Morrison had like a weird sparkle river in all the crevices of his abs. Carlito got the hot tag at 9:58. Primo and Morrison fought on the outside. Carlito went for a spring board but Morrison knocked his arm off the ropes, causing him to fall. Miz hit his finisher for the win…A casket was shown and JR hyped the casket match main event…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Fun match. Pretty good for TV standards. Smackdown has been flat the last two weeks. I hope the good Raw means a great Smackdown. I cannot explain how ridiculous JR looks.

[Q2]The Wrestlemania ticket countdown was shown…A video aired with Jesse, Festus, Maria, and the Masked Magician. The magician locked Maria in a box and spun her head around. He opened the middle part and showed a “rolled up” Maria. Jesse told the magician that unless he wanted “this corn-fed colossus on all-over” him he would untwist Maria. The magician did.

Shore’s Slant: That segment could have used a Hurrapop.

Back in the ring, Jimmy Wang Yang made his way to the ring and said he was “John Wayne Yang,” and then something non-sensible and then yelled into commercial…[C]

[Q3]2. The Brian Kendrick w/Ezekiel defeated Jimmy Wang Yang by Disqualification at 2:45.. Yang hip tossed TBK who popped up and pushed him like “how dare you.” Yang stomped on his foot. Fun start. Yang had control for about 30 seconds before TBK hit some power moves on Yang. Yang rolled out of a knee drop and then started a high flying offense very much like the old Kendrick. He hit a moonsault and Zeke drug TBK out of the ring causing the DQ. Yang went to jump on Zeke, but he was caught and dropped on the apron. Back in the ring, Zeke hit his finisher followed by The Kendrick…

Backstage, The Great Khali was shown walking with Mini-Me. Kung-Fu-Naki popped in and said he wanted Khali to teach him the art of seduction. Mini-Me translated to Khali. Khali said, “Bwlargh, barrg, foodja, fart,” which Mini-Me translated as, “The Great Khali says size matters, sorry.” Mini-Me and the Great “John Holmes” Khali kept walking…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Not a big fan of The Brian Kendrick not being able to beat Yang clean. Seems to diminish him a little. Khali and Mini-Me are great. I love this new angle.

Back from commercial, the creepy casket was shown and Tazz hyped the match for later…In the ring, Khali and Mini-Me said happy Halloween. Mini-Me said tonight was a special kiss cam. He showed video of Khali and the…uh…woman from last week. He said that thousands of calls had come into the Punjabi Playboy. They found a old hag dressed as a witch to waddle into the ring to kiss Khali.

[Q4]This girl was super scary. Khali looked like he would cry. He lifted her nose and gave her a pop kiss. She said she wanted a French kiss. Mini-Me said that if she wanted a French kiss, she had to remove her mask. She said she wasn’t wearing one. Mini-Me asked her if her warts were real. She said they were beauty marks. Khali refused. Mini-Me got a “Khali” chant going. He pulled her nose up until it was coming out of her forehead and kissed her. She passed out and Khali feigned throwing up. Tazz called him the toughest and bravest men ever…The announce team hyped the six-man match next.

Shore’s Slant: Whatever they’re paying Khali, it ain’t enough.

The Smack of the Night video was of MVP jobbing to Kung Fu Naki…Kane was out first, followed by Mark Henry, and then MVP for the heels. The Hurrapop said, “MVP, let’s try something new this week. Try winning. I’m just sayin’.” Jeff and Matt Hardy came out together to lead out the faces, followed by Rey Mysterio with the big 619 pop. They even gave him extra fireworks…

3. Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, and Rey Mysteiro defeated Mark Henry, Kane, and MVP at 11:05. Matt and Henry started off. Henry got the better of Matt and then tagged in MVP. JR again mentioned the next win brings a huge payout to MVP. Mysterio got the hot tag and worked on MVP quickly. He went to the corner and the Hardys did a double suplex on MVP and Rey hit a cross body for a cool triple team move. Henry came in and got dropped in the ropes. Mysterio hit the ropes in a 619 tease and Kane grabbed his feet and drug him to ringside…[C]

[Q5]Back from commercial at the 6:21 mark and MVP had the advantage on Mysterio. Kane came in and manhandled Mysterio. The Henry came in and walked on Mysterio. MVP came back in and worked on Mysterio’s back. Kane came back in and again manhandled Mysterio. Mysterio reversed a move and he and Kane hot tagged Jeff and MVP. Jeff was all over MVP. Kane broke up a two count that led to the faces clearing the ring. Jeff went for a Twist of Fate on MVP but he pushed him off and turned into a Matt Twist of Fate. Jeff hit the Swanton for the win. JR mentioned, again, the MVP still had not earned his bonus…The casket was shown once again and JR plugged the main event…[C]

Shore’s Slant: You know, this match wasn’t too bad for what we saw of it. But I’m having a hard time enjoying it with the MVP burial. What did he say to the dick watcher? I mean, seriously, this is his punishment for giving someone a hard time while drug testing? I mean, he passed the test, right? Isn’t that what is important?

[Q6]A Kizarny vignette aired…Ringside, JR and Tazz mentioned that they were the most watched show on MyNetwork TV last week…Kozlov came to the ring in wrestling attire and asked for a mic. Aww damnit. I have to type this. Kozlov started bashing the fans for not voting him in. He demanded that Triple H give him the next challenge. The Hurrapop appeared and silently mocked Kozlov.

Hunter’s music hit and he walked to the ring in street clothes. Hunter got a mic and entered the ring. He said, “Listen, Boris.” He said Kozlov was going to stop all the jumping people from behind. He said if Kozlov wanted a fight, he could have one. Kozlov said he wanted to fight for the championship. It was obviously edited in postproduction to make it more legible.

Hunter said that things in Russia move slower than in the US. He said that in Russia, the first Rocky movie was just opening. He said what Kozloc didn’t know was that in Rocky 4, a big Russian came in and whipped a bunch of people. He said in the end, the American kicked the Russian’s ass. He said that if Kozlov wanted a title shot, to take it up with Vickie. Until then, “Shut your mouth and get out of my ring.” He took off his coat. They stared off for a minute and then Kozlov backed away to giant boos…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Enough with Kizarny. Putizzle his assizzle in the ringizzle alreadyizze. I have no problem with Hunter losing the title, but I’m not sure this is the guy. I hope it isn’t.

Back from commercial and everyone’s favorite, a John Cena for God video aired...

[Q7] Back ringside and Michelle McCool, Maria, and Brie Bella made their way to the ring in costume. They were followed by Maryse, Natalya, and Victoria also in costume…

4. Michelle McCool, Maria, and Brie Bella defeated Maryse, Natalya, and Victoria at 3:53. Victoria wrestled in her banana suit. Maryse was in her French maid’s costume. I couldn’t tell you what the rest were after I saw that again. Victoria got a two count on Brie who crawled under the ring. Victoria grabbed her legs and stopped her until a foot or a hand popped out and pushed Victoria off. Brie came back out and threw Victoria back in the ring and hot tagged McCool. McCool worked over Victoria and came off the ropes and Maria blind tagged her. Maria hit a crossbody off the top for the win. Post match, Maria and Brie celebrated while McCool looked confused…

JR hyped R-Truth vs Shelton Benjamin for the US Championship next week…The casket was shown yet again, and JR hyped the match as up next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: McCool’s heel turn should be next week or the next at the latest. What ever happened to the really good matches we had with McCool and Natalya? That feud just died.

Back from commercial and the announce team plugged Survicor Series and the new Smackdown vs Raw video game out November 9. Justin Roberts announced the casket match and gave the stipulations. For those of you new to the WWE, welcome. Oh, and a casket match is won when you put your opponent in a casket and close the lid. Remember that. Closing the lid is the finish.

Chavo Guerrero made his ring entrance. The Gregorian Chants started and the Druids brought the casket to ringside. Chavo played to the casket. The bell sounded and San Diego went nuts. The Undertaker made his typical TV entrance. Chavo stood on the ring apron and then dropped to the floor during the coat and hat removal part.

[Q8]The Big Show’s music hit and he made his way to the ring holding his throat. Chavo waved him down. Show stopped about half way down the ramp and glared at Taker…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Say what you want about Triple H. This entrance is the most self serving and over the top entrance in all of sports entertainment. I mean, it’s f’in cool, but still.

5. The Undertaker defeated Chavo Guerrero in a Casket Match at 7:03. Back from commercial and Show was standing at the top of the ramp watching. Chavo started to run from Taker but ran towards the casket, spun and ran into a big boot. JR reminded us that Vickie said this would be Taker’s last match. Taker had Chavo out of the ring in less than a minute. He dropped Snake Eyes on Chavo on the casket. He put Chavo’s head in the casket and the hit the casket. Show sneaked a little closer and then turned back.

Taker started towards Show but the turned and ran at Chavo. He went for a big boot but Chavo moved, causing Taker to nut shot it on the casket. Chavo hit a few blows and then tried a press onto Taker but was caught and drove into the wall. Chavo got back in the ring and Taker followed. Chavo DDT’s him and called for Show who started that way. Taker sat up and Show retreated. Chavo brought a chair in Taker back body dropped him. Taker went to put Chavo in the casket but Show slammed it shut.

Taker dropped Chavo and stared at Show. Chavo hit him in the leg from behind with the chair. He bounced off the ropes and got choked slammed. Show jumped in the ring and beat down Taker. He ran at Taker who pulled the top rope down and Show flipped out onto the casket. Show reacted like the casket was 250 degrees. Taker did the throat cut gesture.

Shore’s Slant: That’s a personal foul, 15 yard penalty, automatic first down.

Taker tombstoned Chavo and then rolled him into the casket and closed the lid for the win. Post match, the lights turned off and Taker celebrated Taker style while Show watched from the ramp…

Backstage, Vickie was shown watching on a monitor. She said, “Title shot? Fine. But you have to do something for me first. Next week, you face the Undertaker. If you beat him, I’ll give you Triple H at Survivor Series.” She turned and looked at Kozlov and he scowled deeply as the show went off…

Shore’s Slant: Yeah! Fun show. The non-wrestling parts were fine, except for the Masked Magician part. The matches were not bad and I felt several storylines move. Very nice job this week. The casket match was predictable once Chavo was announced as the opponent, but it did advance the storyline so I’m OK with it. R-Truth vs Benjamin for the US belt and Kozlov vs Taker. Looks like a good time next week as well.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind. Hey! November is National Novel Writing Month. If you get a chance, check out my novel writing page here. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

RECOMMEND THIS ARTICLE: