By Chris Shore

TNA Impact Wrestling on Spike TV
Taped on March 15 & 16 in Orlando, Florida.

Shore's Slant: Due to a technical error, tonight's report will not be formatted with the usual bolding and italics. We should have the error fixed soon and apologize for any inconvenience.

[Q1] A video recapped James Storm attacking Gunner's dad… The show opened cold with MVP's music and his entrance, followed by a video recapping the ending of last week's show. MVP spoke to Abyss and said he came to TNA to ensure talent got over on their own talent and not alliances. He said he needed to make an executive decision, but Magnus's music cut him off before he could say more.

Magnus and Abyss came to the ring. Magnus said before MVP said anything wrong, he needed to know Abyss worked for Magnus, not TNA. Magnus said that meant Abyss wasn't under MVP's control and the only way Abyss would be in the ring is if Magnus is. MVP said that was fine and told Abyss if he ever put his hands on MVP again he would show him the "most vicious predator."

MVP asked Abyss if he wanted to be the world's ugliest valet or a TNA title shot. Magnus said he couldn’t do that, and MVP said he could because Magnus said Abyss would be in the ring when Magnus was there so they would be side-by-side. He added Samoa Joe to the match and made it official for next week.

Joe made his ring entrance and complained about having a fair chance to face Magnus and now having to be in a handicap match. MVP said it wasn't a handicap match it was a triple threat and Magnus wouldn't be able to control Abyss. Joe said MVP was about to have a hard time controlling him. Magnus started to leave and Joe attacked him. MVP stood there for a moment and then jumped in on Abyss. Eric Young ran in from somewhere and attacked Abyss and they all brawled into the break…[C]

Shore's Slant: The talking here was fine, but the brawl was a bit bizarre. MVP just stood there and watched with his hands in his pockets for about 10 seconds and then jumped in. And where in the blue hell did EY come from? Yes, I know Abyss took him out last week, but this just seemed like a weird place to bring him out. It also feels like they are rushing through the Abyss and Magnus storyline but we'll have to see what happens next week.

[Q2] The brawl was over and EY demanded to be put into the title match so he can take care of Abyss and Joe can get his fair shot. MVP said EY hadn't earned that yet. EY ran through all his character and various titles and said some people call him the most entertaining wrestler in the world today.

Shore's Slant: Who are these people and how do we get them help?

Joe said no one doubted the work EY had put in, but there was a line and EY wasn't at the head. He said until MVP delivers what he wants, EY gets nothing. MVP said it was supposed to be an even playing field and since EY was willing to step-up he would make it a fourway. Joe got in EY's face and shoved him. EY tackled him and they brawled to no reaction from the crowd. MVP called for held and refs ran out to separate them. Joe grabbed a mic and demanded a match with EY tonight and MVP agreed…

Backstage, Bully Ray held up his phone and said his Twitter machine was back. He said Bobby Roode messed with him and now he was going to get lots of tables tonight… The Wolves grabbed MVP coming through the curtain and asked for a match against Magnus and Abyss tonight. MVP agreed… Somewhere in the woods, Ethan Carter III and Rockstar Spud, who was in ridiculous camo, looking for Willow…[C]

Shore's Slant: Look, Eric Young has gotten a few laughs out of me and the guy can wrestle, but why in the blue hell is he in the main event picture? I just don't get it, and neither did the live crowd based on their reaction. EC3's problem in WWE was he wanted to be too quirky to make sense. It looks like we are going to get that tonight in the woods. Oh joy.

Back in the woods, EC3 talked up Spud, who was scared to find Willow… The Wolves made their entrance as a video showed their loss in he tag title match last week. Abyss and Magnus were out next…

[Q3] 1. The Wolves vs. Magnus and Abyss. The Wolves had early control but Abyss got a blind tag and attacked them both from behind…[C] Back from commercial, Magnus worked over Edwards. Davey got the hot tag and took out Abyss before going after Magnus. Abyss came back in the ring and both Wolves took him out. Somehow Eddie was tagged back in. Davey dove on Abyss and Eddie hooked on the single leg crab. Magnus tapped almost immediately…

The Wolves defeated Magnus and Abyss at 8:35.

Post-match, Magnus waved off the Wolves as Taz explained that the title was on the line so it didn't matter. Abyss looked unhappy about it and grabbed the title from the table. He walked back to Magnus but refused to give him the title…[C]

Shore's Slant: A lot to digest here. First, a decent match considering Abyss might be the last guy on the roster I want to see work. Second, I really appreciate Taz explaining why Magnus might have tapped quickly, and I like that idea as a whole. Why would he risk an injury the week before a title match? It wasn't like it was a singles match even. I like that for a heel. Well done. Finally, it REALLY feels like they are rushing through the Abyss and Magnus storyline now.

[Q4] Angelina Love made her entrance and angrily called out Velvet Sky. Sky came out and said she was pissed at Angelina for attacking Madison. Angelina said she did it for Velvet because Velvet was soft and vanilla without Angelina. She said Velvet had swagger and style in the Beautiful People and now she had none. Velvet said things had changed. Angelina said only Velvet had. She said Velvet had to pick a side before Angelina was done facing Madison tonight, and she should pick based on what she wanted, not what Angelina said…

A video started recapping the history between Storm and Gunner… EC3 and Spud had more silliness in the woods… Ray was shown getting ready backstage…[C]

Shore's Slant: Obvious foreshadowing is obvious. I appreciate the attempt I guess but all we have seen these two do is talk and I have had my field.

The hunt for Willow continued. They found a barn and Spud refused to go in. EC3 mocked him and then went in the barn. As Spud stood outside, Willow grabbed him and dragged him off, complete with a color change for special effect. EC3 realized Spud was gone and called for him. Willow laughed in the distance…

A video continued the recap of the story between Gunner and Storm… Bully Ray made his entrance to a good pop. Ray waved to the back and a bunch of people brought out a ton of tables and put them all around and in the ring. Tenay said they were fans and they left after setting the tables up.

[Q5] Ray asked the crowd if they had enough tables. Ray said he wanted more too but he bought all they had. He did his "Do you know who I am?" gimmick and said he was the guy who got rid of Dixie Carter. Ray spoke to Bobby Roode and said he saved Roode from becoming another Dixie and wrestling didn’t need another owner like Dixie Carter.

Shore's Slant: The fans clapped slightly but I cheered like a mofo.

Ray called out to the fans about how many tables they wanted to see Roode go through. Roode came to the stage said he was the guy who spit in Dixie's face before it was cool to do so, and the guy who tricked Ray last week into coming to Nashville for a beating. He repeated Ray's gimmick and Ray told him to get in the ring. Roode said he ran things around there and he decided when and where. Ray said HE decided when and where and the fans said now. Roode said it wasn't going to happen and turned to walk away like a dope.

Sure enough, Ray attacked him from behind and dragged him back to ringside. He beat up Roode and put him on a table. Roode moved before Ray could do more. Ray missed a chop and hit a table. Roode immediately went to work on the hand. He slammed Ray into the post and setup a table. Ray started to hit a pile driver on the table but Roode dumped him back into the ring.

Ray came back and tried to kick Ray on a table. Roode moved and Ray got his leg stuck in the table. Ray got free and once again teased the table spot. Roode escaped and dodged Ray, who dove into a table. Tenay tried too hard to keep heat on Ray by saying Roode didn’t show he was better but merely survived…

Backstage, Abyss walked in with the title and popped off on Magnus for losing. He said he hated it and Magnus said he better get used to it because he had to do it again next week. He asked Abyss what he was going to do when he fired him and when Abyss didn’t answer Magnus walked off…

Shore's Slant: Roode looks like a complete dumbass for turning his back on Ray, but a strong talking segment from both men and a good brawl. Tenay's line hurt it at the end, but not enough to kill it. I wish he had said just about anything else. It stood out big time. And I liked the Abyss and Magnus segment. Magnus is getting more believable and Abyss was fine here as long as he wasn't doing the dumb heavy breathing.

[Q6] Knux was shown in a room with a woman in shorts so small her ass cheeks were hanging out everywhere. Knux surveyed the damage of the arcade equipment while photos showed the area flooded. The woman with her ass hanging out got all moral on Knux for chasing his dream while they were there sitting on their asses trying to get by. They cut to a different shot and she told Knux he had to talk to his dad before they could have their talk…

Shore's Slant: Nothing like getting moral advice from a woman who looks like a stripper. Also, her ass was way too round to have been sitting on it. What a bad line that was for her.

Angelina made her entrance. Madison was out next and ran to the ring to attacked Angelina…

2. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne. Rayne attacked fast as Velvet walked to the ring. Angelina came back and dumped Madison to the floor. Velvet encouraged Madison and Angelina yelled at her for it. Madison dumped Angelina to the floor and Angelina yelled at Velvet again. Madison hit a baseball slide and rolled Angelina in the ring. While the ref argued with Angelina, Velvet kicked Madison and hit a DDT on the floor. She rolled Madison in and Angelina covered for the win…

Angelina Love defeated Madison Rayne in a non-title match at 5:14.

Post-match, Velvet laughed and Madison and Angelina celebrated… Backstage, ODB told EY to be careful and EY said he was tired of people not taking him seriously…[C]

Shore's Slant: Again, this was easy to see coming from the promo segment earlier, but it still didn’t make sense. TNA does heel turns so weird. Why didn't Velvet just attack when Madison was on the floor the first time? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Of course no one takes EY seriously. He was part of the Knockouts Tag Champions.

Backstage, Kenny King made his return and asked MVP who he was wrestling tonight. MVP had to put him off until next week. King wasn't happy but he understood…

[Q7]Joe was in the ring and EY made his entrance as Tenay desperately tried to tell us we should take EY seriously…

3. Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young. EY worked very aggressively early and setup for the top rope elbow. Joe ended up hitting his corner slam instead. Joe locked on the worst looking rear naked choke in wrestling history, but finally got the legs grapevine and choked EY out…

Samoa Joe defeated Eric Young at 5:47.

Post-match, Earl Hebner came out and told Baby Hebner he made the wrong call because Joe had his shoulders on the mat when Baby Hebner was checking out EY. They walked to the back and Joe looked confused…[C]

Shore's Slant: A good match that fell apart at the end. First, it's still hard to take EY seriously when he loses in five minutes, even with the "bad call." Second, how bush league are your officials when they are correcting each other in public? If another referee were to do this in any other place where referees exist, Earl would have been run out of town on a rail. It's a shame TNA can’t keep from insulting our intelligence long enough to enjoy a match that didn't make anyone suddenly see EY in a new light, but did move us down that road.

EC3 walked up on a shack and said, "Nobody gets left behind." He pulled off his jacket and ran toward the house…

A video from last week showed Sam Shaw backing Christy Hemme into a corner and cutting a piece of her hair off… Tenay said that lead to Shaw getting suspend tonight and then announced Anderson vs. Shaw in a straight jacket match and Willow and Ray vs. EC3 and Roode in a tables match.

Shore's Slant: Oh for f***'s sake, seriously? Straight jacket and random table tag team matches? They seriously cannot help themselves.

[Q8] 4. James Storm vs. Gunner in a no disqualification, no countout, there must be a winner match. Gunner attacked Storm on the ramp to start the match. Storm looked like he robbed AJ Styles bag for gear. With the tights he was wearing. Gunner tossed a ton of weapons in the ring and put Storm in, but Storm hit a DDT…[C]

Back from commercial, Gunner hit a slingshot suplex for a near fall and setup a chair in the corner. They traded trash can lid shots to the head. Storm hit a slingshot that threw Gunner into the char and hit a backstabber for two. Strom went to the floor for another weapon. We he climbed on the apron, Gunner hit a spear through the ropes that sent both men through a table on the floor.

Gunner setup a good chair and a broken chair in the ring. He hit a superplex on the one-and-a-half chairs for two. Gunner slipped out of the Gun Rack lift and hit back-to-back Last Call superkicks for a near fall. Storm went and got a beer bottle, but Gunner found one in the corner. He hit Storm with the bottle and hit Hanger for the win…

Gunner defeated James Storm at 13:58.

Shore's Slant: Very entertaining match. I hope it's the end of the feud because it has been poorly written on the whole, last week being the one lone exception, and they need to go out on this high note. Gunner kicking out of the double superkicks strained the imagination big time though. That was poorly done.

EC3 walked through the shack and found Spud tied to a bed frame, crying. EC3 called for Willow to come out. Willow appeared from behind and beat down EC3 with the umbrella. He popped it open and left it there. EC3 yelled about Willow playing games to end the show…

Shore's Slant: OK, if you are someone who doesn't mind wrestling shows doing things like this, it was well done. Visually it well blocked and well shot. If, however, you are like me and are driven crazy by the cameramen actually being there sometimes and not others then this sucked. In the same show you go from Sam Shaw addressing a cameraman and pointing out he was carrying a camera to EC3 getting attacked from multiple angles with no one there to help.

All in all though, a good Impact. There were plenty of things that didn't make sense to me, but very few things that were rotten. I am not as hopeful for next week with the totally random gimmick matches. Perhaps TNA will surprise us. There will be more tomorrow in the Impact Wrestling Hit List and Audio review. Thanks for watching along tonight.

RECOMMEND THIS ARTICLE: