By Chris Shore

TNA Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Taped 3/14 at Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida.

[Q1] A video hyped Samoa Joe vs. Magnus tonight… Backstage, Abyss beat the hell out of Eric Young. ODB ran up and hit Abyss with a stick, but he no sold it. Abyss went after ODB, but EY made the save until Abyss choked him out with a cardboard tube. They brawled from the lot into the building as ODB continued to scream for help. They brawled all the way to the ring and continued to brawl around it.

They fought into the ring and Abyss hit a slam on a chair on EY. EY fought back by biting Abyss, but Abyss hit a Black Hole Slam and choked him with the chain they were supposed to be chained to each other with. Before EY finished getting choked out, they showed a replay of the brawl and then cut back to the ring where ODB checked on EY and Abyss was gone…

Ethan Carter III and Bobby Lashley made their ring entrances…[C]

Shore's Slant: For the love of all that is good in wrestling, can someone please tell TNA that when they hurt each other with cardboard it becomes impossible to believe. I liked the idea of the brawl to open the show, but it never really seemed to catch my attention, and the fans came across on TV as confused by the brawl just happening.

[Q2] 1. Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley. TNA had a broadcast bug of #EC3vsLashley. Is that new? Lashley powered EC3 around and stomped him in the corner. EC3 used the ref as a distraction and hit a low blow on Lashley. He started to leave, but Willow ran out and attacked him from behind to cause an apparent DQ…

Ethan Carter III defeated Bobby Lashley by an apparent disqualification at 5:17.

Willow setup the ladder and the leg in the chair, but EC3 escaped before Willow could jump on it… A video showed Bully Ray, supposedly at TNA Headquarters. Ray said Dixie Carter summoned him but she was too busy to see him. He said he would wait all day because he had something to say…

Backstage, Joe banged on the wall in MVP's office. Joe complained about EY going to the hospital instead of being chained to Abyss. MVP said he would fix it. Joe said every time MVP fixes something, it gets worse… IQG asked Angelina Love about a Beautiful People reunion and she said they would find out tonight…[C]

Shore's Slant: I have been very critical of TNA announcing, and rightfully so as it has been dreadful at times. However, Tenay and Taz are doing a very good job of getting the violence of the Willow character over, as is Jeff Hardy. This was a dangerous choice and so far it is working well for TNA. Joe being pissed at MVP seems odd. Joe being angry makes sense within Joe's character, but him blaming MVP for everything that has happened seems like a heel move to me.

[Q3] Backstage, EC3 walked into Magnus's dressing room and they bickered. EC3 said the business relationship between the Carters and Magnus was over. Magnus said that was true, but that was his doing, not Ethan's or Dixie's. Magnus said Abyss was all he needed and told EC3 to get out. Carter wished him luck…

Gunner came out and cut a promo on being proud to serve his country and the men and women who served with him. He said he learned in the military that you fight for what you want. He thanked his dad in the front row and said he wouldn’t be here without his family's support. They hugged, and James Storm's music cut them off.

Storm came out and said he didn’t mean to interrupt, but he found it rude Gunner didn’t introduce him to his dad. Storm introduced himself and said he knew Gunner's dad cried when they played the hype video for Gunner. He said he knew Gunner's grandfather died when Gunner's dad was young, and he knew the grandfather was looking down and was happy he was dead because his son and grandson were disappointments.

Gunner attacked Storm, but Storm hit the Last Call quickly. He handcuffed Gunner to the second rope and pulled Gunner's dad into the ringside area. He held Gunner's dad for a minute and then let him go. He started to walk off and Gunner's dad tried to free Gunner. Storm hit the dad in the back of the head with the beer bottle and left…

Gail Kim cut a promo saying if Lei'D Tapa didn't beat her Tapa was done with Impact Wrestling…[C]

Shore's Slant: Really good segment with Storm and Gunner. The family attack is a little played out in wrestling, but this came across as believable and the crowd flipped out when Storm attacked the dad. Never underestimate how important a good crowd is to wrestling working on TV.

[Q4] Backstage, BroMans and DJ Z walked down a hall doing their gimmick. They walked in on Sanada and Tigre Uno and continued their gimmick. I would turn the channel if I could. They spoke to the two men in loud English and then left them looking confused…

Shore's Slant: Well, the good segment streak is over. I honestly don’t know why they keep these guys in this dated and stupid gimmick. Any heat it gets is go away heat.

2. Gail Kim vs. Lei'D Tapa. Tapa powered Kim around. Kim attacked the leg to try and slow her down, but Tapa still used power. Kim hit Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the win…

Gail Kim defeated Lei'd Tapa.

Angelina Love was shown heading toward the ring…[C]

Shore's Slant: If that was Tapa's last match in TNA then this was fine. If it isn’t, this was stupid. Way to kill your monster.

MVP tried to convince Willow to take EY's place, but Willow told him no by cutting a crazy ass promo… Angelina Love made her ring entrance She called out Velvet Sky to answer her question to reform the Beautiful People. Velvet made her entrance and they started talking again.

[Q5] Velvet put over Angelina as a friend and as someone who held her back. Angelina blew it off as "wrestling talk." Angelina apologized and said Velvet had accomplished a lot, but in wrestling one is a lonely number. She said she wanted it to happen, Velvet wanted it to happen and the fans wanted it to happen. Velvet said all she had gone through with Chris Sabin taught her there were few people you could trust so the Beautiful People were back in full force.

Angelina said they were missing a third piece of the puzzle and called out Madison Rayne. Madison came out without the Knockouts title. What? Angelina offered Madison her spot back. Angelina put over Velvet and herself and kind of dismissed Madison. Madison said they always treated her poorly. Angelina said she was just paying her dues. Madison said she had outgrown that and wasn't interested. She left them in the ring…

Magnus talked to the camera backstage about Joe trying to find a friend but he had a business partner. Joe walked up and they argued. Al Snow broke it up and Joe left… DJ Z introduced the BroMans. Where the hell is my remote! Sanada and Tigre Uno were out next. Robbie cut a promo and called them "tiger one" and "Hyundai Sonata." He told them to lay down and Tigre Uno took the mic to say "no." They chased the champs out of the ring and the Wolves made their entrance. The Wolves and the international team took out the BroMans before the bell rang…

3. The BroMans vs. Tigre Uno and Sanada vs. The Wolves for the TNA Tag Team Championships. The show went to break immediately as the four babyfaces played to the crowd…[C]

[Q6] Back from commercial, the babyfaces dumped the BroMans again and they went at it. The BroMans took advantage of the fight to take control of the match. Sanada got the hot tag, but DJ Z took the X Division title to distract Sanada. He tagged Tigre Uno and took out DJ Z. BroMans used the distraction to hit the BroDown on Tigre Uno for the win…

The BroMans defeated The Wolves and Sanada and Tigre Uno at 9:49 to retain the tag team championships.

Backstage, Angelina whined about what Madison had said. Velvet told her to go talk to her and Angelina did…[C]

Shore's Slant: The BroMans are so bad they are killing what little bit of tag division there is. Four new guys were in that match and not a single one of them, or any of the teams, felt like a big deal. It was just six guys in a ring. That's not how you build stars.

Madison told Angelina she didn’t have anything to say to her. Angelina said she had something to say. She apologized and said you had to watch your back and she made some mistakes before. She asked her to join again. Madison said she would think about it. Angelina said that was fine, then grabbed Madison by the hair and threw her into the lockers. She choked her out and screamed for Madison to never disrespect her again. She said the Beautiful People were Angelina and Velvet. She dropped the choke and left…

[Q7] MVP walked up to Joe and said he would be chained to Abyss since he couldn’t find anyone… A video followed Knux as he went home to see a girl and to check on his family's business… A video showed Bully Ray down in Dixie's office and Taz teased what happened for after the break…

Shore's Slant: A lot of bad that whole segment. Angelina's attack was poorly done and didn’t come across as real at all. Joe liked the idea of MVP being the guy chained to Abyss, but just a few minutes ago he thought MVP was incompetent. And I didn’t know Knux was still on the roster, but there wasn't a hook in that video. There's still hope for that story, of course, but it wasn't a good start.

Bully Ray spoke with Dixie Carter in her office, except they never showed her as the chair was turned around. He trashed her saying no one liked her, not wrestlers, production people, or fans. He said he screwed her because she was a nobody in wrestling. He said it was time for her to face him and spun the chair around. There was no one in it. Bobby Roode attacked from behind and beat down Ray. He hit him with a picture and said Dixie didn’t invite Ray, Roode did. He yelled "You don’t screw Bobby Roode. Surprise!" and stormed off…

Backstage, Magnus asked Abyss if he was ready. Abyss said he had a surprise for Joe and MVP. He held up his hand and tacks fell out. They walked off laughing. Joe and MVP made their entrance…[C]

Shore's Slant: The second hour of Impact is not nearly as good as the first. The attack from Roode was high energy, but they once again had someone knocked out by a cardboard sign, and the logic there is really week. How big is this office that Ray didn’t see Roode there? I still think this will be a hot feud, but that stretched belief just a little too far.

[Q8] A video recapped the Storm attack on Gunner and Gunner's dad. The announce team hyped Gunner vs. Storm for next week… Magnus and Abyss made their entrance...

4. Magnus vs. Samoa Joe for the TNA Championship. Abyss and MVP were chained together at ringside. Magnus went right after the ribs that Abyss storyline injured with Janice. Joe fought back with strikes. A "Joe's gonna kill you" chant broke out…[C]

Magnus was in control after the break. Joe continued to sell the ribs to prevent a comeback, but suddenly locked on the sleep/choke. Magnus hit a chin checker and Joe bumped the ref when he sold. Abyss attacked MVP and grabbed the tacks. MVP fought back and took the key to unlock himself from the chain. That allowed Abyss to take him out with a chair. Joe tried to dive on Abyss, but Abyss threw the chair at Joe. Magnus followed with the top rope elbow for the win…

Magnus retained the TNA Championship at 11:41.

Post-match, Magnus celebrated while Abyss stared at the TNA title belt…[C]

Shore's Slant: An OK match with Magnus and Joe. MVP looks like a dope for uncuffing himself, and I assume this plays into Joe continuing to think MVP is incompetent. Do we get a Joe heel turn to bring Dixie back? Let's hope not. There also seems to be some infatuation with Abyss and the title so look for more of that coming soon as well.

All in all a mixed episode of Impact. I thought the first hour was well done on the whole, but they lost their way a little bit in the second hour. The close of the show wasn't bad except for yet another cheap ass finish that continues to destroy Magnus as a character and the championship. Jason Powell and Will Pruett will have more to say tomorrow. Thanks for watching along tonight.

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